Pinky days

Author Note: I don`t own nothing,only the story.

Sum: follow Hidan in his attempts to understand the meaning of Valentine`s Day and his rather "distinctive" methods to woo a certaine cold lady...oh dear...

`Be my Valentine...`

It is a known fact that the day of 14th February it's the day when you have the best opportunity to express your love or show the person you took a liking of, that you care about them in the cheesiest way possible and you aren`t judged because of that either or for some people, Valentine`s Day it is just the perfect opportunity to make profit by selling all useless glittery things that this day demands.

As the sun was still glowing on the clear blue sky many merchants could be seen behind their stalls selling heart shaped post cards, all sizes of stuffed animals, delicious looking heart shaped chocolate, colorful flowers and many traditional commodities the streets were flooded by young couples, or giggling, blushing girls who certainly had a special someone in their mind, nervous looking boys who most likely didn`t have the courage to approach their object of desire or those who apparently hurried to buy something in the last minute for their other half all the excitement of the young couples put a smile even on the oldest generation faces you could almost feel the love in the air and the positive atmosphere was contagious for everyone .well, except two people that`s it... Two cloaked figures, who didn`t meddle at all with the other civilians, were trotting on the crowded streets, trying to slither through the mass of jolly people and not be trampled on in the process. The taller man was grumbling something under his breath while shooting killer looks at every pink thing his gaze came upon while the second figure was busy staring around him as if he suddenly woke up in some twisted version of Dorothy and the witches of Oz. While gawking openly at some giggling girls who looked as if they were high from sugar, he didn`t realize that his companion was departing quickly until he turned his head with the mouth hanging open and a question on the tip of his tongue toward his partner ..only to find him lost in a sea of bodies. Huffing, he tried to wiggle his way through the mass only to find his way blocked every time whenever he thought he saw a loophole of escaping the swarm of bodies. A shove here, a step on his foot there and the man could already see red in front of his eyes. Totally fed up, he made his way elbowing in left and right, cutting through the mass like Moses parting the Red Sea, not caring in the slightest of the cries of indignation he received from the nudged people. Seeming as he finally could see the back of his partners head he quickened his pace until he was walking in step with the older man, muttering some profanities under his breath, earning him glares from a nearby group of old women, while straightening his cloak back in place.

"Hey Stitch face! What the fuck is wrong with those fucking people? They were like a bunch of rhinos on Viagra there! And why the frigging hell is pink EVERYWHERE? I swear that my fucking eyes were about to pop out from that blasted color!" the other man only then seemed to notice his partners presence as he stared at him blankly before narrowing his unusual eyes in a glare at the pooty mouth standing by his side.
"Shut up Hidan." He replied in a gruff voice, clearly not being in the mood to hear the others laments. The one named Hidan choose to ignore his partner obvious disinterest in what he was saying, opting instead to continue his earlier tirade while adding some hand gestures in his speech:
"And what the heck`s with you now eh? You look more constipated than usual and that`s something, I mean eh?...hey! Kakuzu! The fuck are you going so fast? hey!"the silver haired man hollered at the mans back while hurrying after him. Unfortunately for the one named Kakuzu, his wish to be far away from the talking machine won`t be granted any time soon "Seriously Kakuzu-chan, you look as if your fucking granny died and forgot to put you on her testament!" he continued in that obnoxious voice, ignoring the dark aura surrounding the older man. "And you still didn`t answer my earlier question!" he kept pestering him. At that moment Kakuzu choose to abruptly turn toward the talkative pest with a glare that screamed murder .too bad that it was directed at an immortal "Shut your trap moron, or I`ll sew it shut for you." came the immediate reply which made a throbbing vein visible on the others man forehead.
"Why you motherf-.." but he didn`t get to finish his obscene sentence because he was interrupted suddenly by a tap on the shoulder. Turning furiously toward the culprit with the intent of giving them a piece of his mind, he was surprised to come face to face with a scrawny young girl looking as if she`ll have an asphma attack any second. He gave her his not so impressed hidanish look while putting his weight on his right foot, preparing himself to make the girl scram with a few chosen words

"Ehm I r-really think y-you`re handsome and I I..I j-just "she stuttered with a blush stretched on her face, her blue eyes shifting toward the ground, not daring meeting his surprised gaze. She took a huge gulp of air, making him raise a silver eyebrow, before managing to continue: "a-and emm.. I just wanted to give you this."she finished meekly. Was she for real? He didn`t have time to process what she was saying before she thrust a pink wrapped box in his hands then scurrying off like Satan himself was out to get her. Hidan could only stand there dumbfounded as he watched her join a group of teenage girls giggling like crazy. What the heck? Having enough with those teens making googly eyes at him he turned around to catch up with the miser, not after shooting them one last disturbed look. Curiously he examined the package, grimacing at the bright color, which seemed to be meticulously wrapped. He tore the wrapping with sadistic glee before peering inside the box to see the big mystery, only to find it filled with heart shaped chocolate candies.
"Hey Kakuzu! Some brat girl just came out of nowhere and gave me this shit! isn`t that fucking weird or what?" he came up behind the miser, who didn`t appeared in the least interested of his gift, while popping a chocolate piece in his mouth "heh getting stuff for free, bet that killed at least one of your hearts." his statement was followed by mocking laughter, knowing how much it irked the other man.
"You received that because apparently it`s Valentine`s Day, you brainless idiot .waste of money it infuriates me when those mindless people choose to spent it on those useless things..."the miser muttered bitterly

"What the hell is Valentine`s day?"the silver haired man asked confused, not bothering to fume at the insult. Kakuzu regarded him disgustedly before turning around, resuming his walking.

"It`s an occasion in which lovers express their "affection" for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery or sending cards known as "valentine" .a rubbish celebration just a reason to waste time and money"he explained with an almost forlorn air. Hidan could only stare at him in pure boredom.
"Count on you to fucking angst on others money you greedy heathen "he looked at the box of chocolate in his hands then at the miser, then back at the sweets before a large mischievous grin spread on his lips. Strutting beside Kakuzu, he casually popped another piece of chocolate goodness in his mouth while declaring arrogantly :
"Che, I bet you`re not emoing because of that you sad excuse of a ragdoll It`s because you`re uglier than a hairless mutated monkey and nobody luuuvvvsss youuu, heh,bet even you`re great great grannie is prettier than you, and the hag is already dead...hehehe youuu, you frigging fossil unlike me, the walking sexiness himself, the most handsome motherfucka ever who has the privilege to walk on this planet and bless those fucking bastards with my dashing looks you are like a wasted version of the hunchback of the .."his speech was cut short, the second time that day, as his face made contact with kakuzuz`s briefcase in a full masterstroke, sending him flying two feet in the air, floating there for two seconds, before engaging in a mind blowing kiss with the hard concrete, the sickening crack putting a satisfied smirk on the older mans covered lips.

"youuuu ."came the angered voice from the lump still resting in dirt "I`ll fucking kill you..bitch "before the injured man twisted himself abruptly in the misers direction, displaying his broken nose and bloodied face in full glory, and judging his livid face all people who happened to be in close range with him should have wisely gotten some earplugs with them because the thread of colorful words that would be soon to follow would be like a comet of pains for healthy ears.
"You fucking cock sucker, motherfucker, stinky, rotting meat ball! How dare you fucking hit my brains out with that fucking purse you `re carrying around you old fart!"he shrieked pointing rudely at the miser, not caring that all his noise made people stare at him, and at the same time delivering some obscene gestures at his partner, making some horrified mothers cover their children eyes. " You know what? FUCK YOU, you KakuShit! I`m sick of you taking fucking advantage of my immortality and sock me whenever you feel like it because you have psychological problems from your bastard younger years when you`ve taken it up the ass like the dickless homo that you are!"he continued, his red face giving the impression that he`ll explode like a prickled balloon at any moment now.
"Don`t waste my time you dolt. We still have a mission to accomplish."the miser replied indifferently as he walked purposefully on the road, not bothering to wait for his loudmouth of a partner to get up and follow him. It seemed that all those painfully long years he was stuck with the sadist he became immune to his annoying habits..

"Well, fuck you too!" yelled the silver haired man at his departing back, still standing in the dirt and a little out of breath from that cursing spree. Only now, as he wiped the blood off his face with his cloak sleeve, he took notice of the crowd that formed around him during his performance, staring at him as if he grew another head.
"And what the fucking hell are you looking at!"he spat rudely while brandishing his scythe threatengly at them, making the poor spectators dash like ants before the rain. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed tiredly, musing that he should haul his ass up by now unless he wanted to look like an idiot, standing in the middle of the road counting grains of grit ..not like he hadn`t proved that in his earlier display already..

"Tsk freaking Kakuzu.." he made a move to stand but he spotted something bright from the corner of his eye. Looking more closely, he stretched his hand to grab the thing from the dirt, only to discover that it was some pink envelope. "Eh? What`s this?" he turned it on all sides, curious at what it might be. It must have dropped from the package during the brawl, he presumed He opened it hesitantly as if it would explode in his face at any given moment, pausing dramatically for a second before having a look at it`s contents. There, in flowery handwriting was only a single sentence that made both his eyebrows rise to his forehead in surprise :"Be my Valentine." Rubbing the back of his neck absently, he tried to recollect the older mans words about the meaning of this festivity what was he saying again?
"It`s an occasion in which lovers express their "affection" for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery or sending cards known as "valentine".."

"Valentine, huh.. " the silver haired man murmured softly as a smirk stretched slowly on his lips, his amethyst eyes getting that certain sparkle when you`ve got an idea that nothing good would come out of it ..

Later that day, the two shinobies finally arrived at the base after completing their mission successfully , well Kakuzu was left to do all the work (Che, serves the bastard right for whacking me in the head.) while Hidan took the privilege to wander around the village and scare some civilians to pass the time. Not that the miser cared actually, he was just glad that he had the opportunity to enjoy some blissfully silent hours free of the jashinists constant nagging. With that he was content to do all the job not that it was a difficult mission to begin with, in which he needed his partner assistance.
After giving their mission report to their leader, they were free to do what they wanted for the rest of the day. So, Hidan found himself standing in the middle of one of the many damp corridors of the base, appearing as if he was in deep thought. The green eyed man retired long ago, probably in his quarters recounting his money for the thousandth time already, like the boring geezer he was. Snapping from whatever thought he was in, he made his way through the corridors with that slight swagger in his step till he reached a room which seemed to be a living room of sort if you count an old couch, it`s color already fading, a barely there table, covered with a sheet of dust two fingers thick, a worn armchair who looked older than Kakuzu and a pot in the corner..
His violet eyes scanned the room till they feel upon the person they looked for, standing beside the windowpane, gazing outside. Smirking , he strutted his way toward the solitary figure till he reached her side.

"Hey bitch, thought I`ll find you here and I was fucking right." He cut rudely into the silence. The woman turned her gaze from the scenery outside to glare sharply at the unwanted disturbance.
"I thought I told you Hidan to not call me that again." Even though her face remained impassive, void of emotions, her voice was frosty, filled with menace. But the man only laughed at her hidden threats, shaking his head as if she told a good joke.
"Geez..always acting the demanding woman`s part you should know by now that I won`t listen to frigging no one." then he promptly leaned against the wall with that secretive smirk in place, ignoring the disapproval showed in her eyes for doing that. Assuming that he won`t leave any time soon, the blue haired woman returned her gaze back to window, not deeming necessarily to start a conversation with him.
"Won`t you ask me why I`m here?"he drawled from beside her

"I have no interest of knowing that."she answered in that cold voice of hers, without sparing him a glance. The silence that followed didn`t last too long as the man let out a long suffering sigh as if the past hours were spent doing hard labour , leaving him without a spark of strength.
"You aren`t going to make things easier do you?...figures ."she heard the distinct sound of shifting of clothes before something was placed under her nose. She locked her amber eyes with his violet ones first then lowered them down to look warily at what it was presented to her.
"It`s just a fucking gift, stop looking as it will gouge your eyes out any second!" He told her exasperated. At the mention of the word "gift", she stared at him bewildered .since when did he start doing nice things for others? Being well aware of the maniac and his egoistic tendencies ,she raised a slender eyebrow at this bizarre thing occurring in front of her.
"Just fucking take it already!"he snapped, becoming more irritated by the second seeming as she kept staring at him while he stood there with the freaking box in hands, looking like a complete idiot. Slowly and hesitantly she took the box from his hands, her action making his earlier frown disappear as a small smile plastered on his lips, satisfied with how things worked.
"Thank you." She said softly, even thought her voice didn`t express any form of gratitude, not that Hidan seemed to take any notice of that.
"Open it up and see if you like it." He exclamed excitedly, his eyes sparkling as if it was Christmas morning, rich with presents waiting to be opened a full grown man acting like a child..

Presuming that delaying it any further would lengthen his stay here, she resumed in making the fool happy and open the gift. Her pale fingers started first with the white bow, Hidan`s eyes following all her graceful movements with pure anticipation, then she processed to remove the strangely pink lid of the box only to froze at its contents.
"How do ya like it?"he asked her eagerly, mistaking her fulsome expression with one of astonishment.
"Hidan." came her edgy voice "How dare you present me this abomination and expect me to enjoy it." she continued in that glacial tone.
"Hey, hey chillax Konan, don`t get you`re panties in a twist on me now, don`t you know how to fucking appreciate a present when you take it? Seriously."he protested. The blue haired womans rampant eyes snapped in his direction, and the next thing he knew he was attacked by numerous perfectly poignant paper darts, cutting into his flesh and wounding him everywhere mercilessly.
" Next time you lend me something as loathsome as this I would not hesitate to disembody you." she spoke coldly before disappearing in a furry of paper butterflyes , leaving the glaring jashinist bleeding on the floor.

" ..fuck ."
Looking dejectedly at his mangled hands, he found himself watching with something akin to morbid fascination the way his own blood seemed to drip like a red downpour. That woman surely was something .she never lost her cool and always seemed annoyingly unfazed and cold toward anyone she came across, but when she wanted to she would strike like a snake would it`s pray never making an act of mercy. She was ruthless with him,he thought as a stupid grin found it`s way on his face .and he kinda liked that ...he found that strangely appealing to her. Wandering his eyes around, they came across with the contents of the box that she dropped on the stone floor. Immediately his smile was replaced by a frown as he stared in the glassy eyes of the dead animal he slaughtered earlier that day in order to offer it as a gift for the ungrateful woman. How was he supposed to know that a little bit of gore would repulse her to no end? For him this was the most sacred and pure way someone could show his affection for another person and she didn`t appreciate it in the slightest. He growled at the lifeless creature he had the sudden urge to mangle it some more That`s how Deidara found him sprawled on the floor , flooded in blood while growling like a wild beast at some decapitated animal some feet away from him.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE UN?"

Later that night Konan was busying herself creating different shapes of weapons from paper when loud banging coming from her door startled her. It didn`t took long before the incensing knocking stopped before someone brust in,in an uncivilly manner , almost casting the door from its hinges. She narrowed her eyes when she recognized the person who dared to intrude her sanctuary.
"Hidan, I do hope you have a good reason for making all this ruckus." She addressed the man coolly, not bothering to move from her position in her bed. The silver haired man approached her slowly, his face sporting a maniacal look.
"Oh, I have a fucking good reason alright." He replied hoarsely, keeping his hands behind his back all the time, staying silent for some strange reason. She raised an eyebrow at this, he seemed rather content staring at her while smiling like a mental patient escaped from some Happy Place.
"And that would be?" she asked, curious despite of herself. Hidan appeared to be pleased by her question judging the way his smirk grew larger.
"A second gift, of course!" after mentioning that, the woman`s face instantly darkened.
"I told you before that I don`t want any of your erratic gifts no matter how charming your infirm mind seems to make it."her voice had a finality tone to it as she attempted to explain once again her aversion to the stubborn man standing before her. She eyed him wearily, aware of his impulsive and reckless personality in case he made a move to attack her .she was capable of defending herself but it`s better to be prepared for the unexpected blow than be regretful later.

Hidan could feel it coming. The blend fury. He actually had to blink a couple of times to contain it before it took control over him, but eventually he found himself spluttering angrily at the impassive female on the bed.
"WHAT THE FUCK IT`S WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN!" the sudden outburst managed to actually startle the creature who seemed to be made of stone, but he didn`t give any thought of that, he was far too infuriated to care.

"Here I come to make some fucking amends for upsetting you earlier by bringing you something else and now you`re fucking THROWING it in my fucking face!"he continued to holler at her, not caring that he might be heard by the other members, or worse, by their leader who wasn`t known to give lenient punishments he was too caught in the moment now and if he could pent out all the frustration accumulated in those few hours before coming there by yelling in her face so be it.

"I swear you`re more ungrateful then that fucking Kakuzu, and that motherfucker always complains that I never help him on the missions when it`s clear like fucking day that I AM the one who does all the dirty job while that son of a bitch stays perfectly dandy counting his fucking money. One day I will shove my foot down his wrinkled ass so hard that he`ll fly in the fucking orbit and I`ll fucking laugh as I`ll watch his ass forming an eclipse!" by this time Konan was watching him amused as he ranted angrily while pacing around the room. Pausing a bit to take a gulp of air he turned his head abruptly at her that she thought his neck might snap at the brusque action.
"And now THIS! I waddled through the fucking forest in full darkness, by the way, being prickled by mosquitoes while having to keep an eye for motherfucking wild animals for not jumping me and bite my head off as I searched for THOSE!"he finished breathing heavily as he reviled the thing he was hiding behind his back which was a little bouquet of white and blue wild flowers .not something sharp as she imagined. "Now this is truly an unexpecting" surprise, she thought as she gazed through thick lashes at the delicate flowers he shoved unceremoniously in her face.
"Hidan.." she called softly as she shifted her amber eyes to his figure "Why do you want to please me so much?"her sudden question caught him off guard by the way he stopped to stare at her with unblinking eyes before attempting to give her a proper explication.
"Erm..you see.." he started "...the village where we were assigned our mission was celebrating a fucking something I didn`t knew shit about, so I asked the bastard if the villagers were on crack for acting like complete freaks "he cleared his throat while brushing a hand nervously through his sliced back hair before continuing his story.

"And then he got into all that psychological shit of people giving each other things on Valentines day, while woosying after wasted money, and then some bratty girl came and gave me this box full of awesome chocolate and.." Konan watched the visibly flustered man , clearly amused by his squirming, and being a little put off that the cruel jashinist possessed a heart too.
".. then I thought you could be my Valentine.." he finished the last part with a mumble and she would have missed it if she weren`t so attentive at what he was saying. Looking at the man, who tried to shift his gave everywhere but her in obvious discomfort, he appeared like a teenage boy on his first date with his girlfriend. Chuckling softly to herself, she reached for the bouquet still grasped in his sweaty hand, her touch jolting him from whatever daydream he was in at the moment.
"Thank you Hidan, I appreciate your effort." giving him a short view of her alluring eyes,she took the flowers from his hand. Pausing, she pondered for a moment before reaching up for him to bring him closer, hence forcing him to bent a little, she rewarded the silver haired man with a short,but chaste kiss on the cheek. Turning her back to him, she put the flowers in a vase nearby before seating herself on her earlier spot from the bed, resuming her paper folding, as if nothing ever happened.
"Don`t forget to close the door after you when you walk out."she murmured softly, her whole attention fixed on her work, not minding the bewildered man still standing beside her bed.
Seconds passed until she heard his footfalls depart and only when she heard the door close gently behind him did she allow the soft smile grace her pristine lips.

End.