Disclaimer-I do not own Final Fantasy or the Kinks

Kuja sighed as he stopped by the door of the Desert Palace. "Nobody remembered my birthday..." he shrugged and yawned, "Well, it's been a long day anyway, destroying Alexandria and all." He sleepily opened the door and looked inside.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUJA!" All his black mages shouted carrying a big birthday cake.

"What are you doing?" Kuja asked, " If you expect me to act suprised, you should at least try to keep a better secret."

"We brought the Kinks for your birthday Kuja!" One black mage replied, ignoring Kuja's badgering.

Kuja's eyes widened. "The Kinks?! How did you get them here?! And how do I know who they are?!"

There was a awkward silence and the Black Mages looked at each other.

"Let's just ignore those questions..." a reasonable black mage said. "And listen to a song the Kinks prepared just for you."

Ray Davies (the lead singer of the Kinks) replied "To tell you the truth, Zidane helped us with this song, since we have no idea where we are, or how we got here."

Zidane grinned "I changed the words of Lola to fit you brother Kuja."

Kuja raised his eyebrows while the Kinks plunged into their song.

(To the tune of Lola) "I met her in a bar in old Treno, where it's always dark and there's a lot of booze ya. B-B-B-B- booze ya.

She walked up to me and asked me to dance. I asked her her name and in a manly voice she said Kuja K-K-K-K Kuja K-K-K-K Kuja.

Well I'm not the most blindest guy, but even though it was dark I could tell it was a man. Oh my Kuja K-K-K-K Kuja.

Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand. Why something was sticking out of her thong-"

" What the hell! There is nothing sticking out of my thong and if there was it would be my tail!" Kuja interupted, "I'm trying to hide it! This has been the worst birthday ever! You guys are so mean!"

" Well, your not exactly nice to us ya know..." One confident Black Mage said.

"What's her problem?" Ray Davies asked.

"I AM A MAN! How many times do I have to tell you I am not a transvestite, I am just trying not to look like a Genome!" Kuja screamed.

"Sure you are Kuja." An unconvinced Black Mage said.

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