Title: Breakdown
Summary: My girlfriend has just been shot in a drive-by orchastrated by a Columbian drug lord. Why isn't anything sinking in yet? Is the adrenalin still pumping[AO
Genre: Angst / Drama / Romance
Rating: Rated T
Author's Note: Oh. My. God. My mom made a reference to batteries. In a dirty way. Can you guess what for? Yeah, you guessed right... I'm so freaked out right now. Laura, I may need to hide over at your place ;P lol. I'm just kidding. But damn, that's some freaky shit when your mom's talking about it. Lol. That, and Jess likes to talk about it during study hall in the library, when you're supposed to be quiet. And if you know me, you know I laugh at almost anything. (Right, Al?)

Chapter 1: I Feel a Breakdown Coming

The moon was throwing a white patch on the gray sidewalk. The same moon casting animated shadows of anything that was mobile or lively.

We exited the bar, Elliot and I about two steps ahead of Alex. I remember the darkness shrouding most of our surroundings.

I see her.

Her pretty, long blonde hair slowly whipping beautifully behind her, being jostled by the passing wind. Her purple sweater gleaming colourfully, contrasting against the opaque background. Her strong, athletic legs wrapped tightly, but professionally, in the dusky gray skirt. She looked so delicious.

"Hey, Alex. How about we. . ." I let the thought die on the tip of my tongue as I hear three shots ring out.

I fall to the ground, based on my instincts and training. After the SUV speeds down the street, I get to my feet as quickly as I could.

I turn around promptly. My vision is contorted since the darkness has suddenly become more sinister in a matter of mere seconds.

I see your limp body laying on the cold, hard ground. My body was running on cruise control. I let my cop training and instincts kick in, once again, as I let myself fall to my knees and press my hand against your blood-gushing wound. I see the sudden glint of the ring on my left hand as the moonlight bounces off of it.

You gave me that ring as a sign of our committment. As a sign of love. Now it's stained in your blood. In your love.

I watched the injured woman's tummy rise and fall erratically after she had released a couple of weak, shuddering breaths. The air had been literally knocked out of her struggling lungs.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Alex! Stay with me sweetheart! Stay with me. Alex! Alex! Alex..." I say, trying to grasp ahold of reality.

My girlfriend has just been shot in a drive-by orchastrated by a Columbian drug lord. Why isn't anything sinking in yet? Is the adrenalin still pumping?

I see your pale fale slowly turn to me. You're too weak to talk; the blood now flowing through my fingers that are trying to press the life-giving liquid back into your shoulder, in a vain attempt, of course. You mouth the words I love you.

I want to say it back, but somehow I can't.

Instead, I wipe the spattered blood off of your forehead, only to find that I smeared more of it on your face by accident.

"Someone call an ambulance! Call for help!" I scream to a frightened passerby. He does as he is told and I tower over you, forcing your blood to stop sputtering through my fingers. "Hang in there, sweetheart. Help is on its way. You'll be fine, I promise. Everything's okay."

I try to force a reassuring smile, but it turns out to be a grimace. You close your eyes after blinking a few times. Too tired to keep them open any longer.

Feeling like my world had suddenly lost all sense of normalcy and reason, I did the one thing I knew for sure was normal.

I kissed my girlfriend's forehead. My lips, forming the words I couldn't say before, against Alex's head, "I love you, Alex."

I push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I have to take...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

--SlipKnot / Duality

Review, please. How did it come out? No pun intended. Eh, you catch my meaning. Anyways, this gutter-head would like some feedback. ;oD. Today—can you believe this?—was the first time I have ever watched the episode Loss. It's really funny(actually sad) but I mean funny because of the fact that Zapata mentioned something about "her girlfriend..." and he was talking about Alex at the time. That really got me thinking, "Hmmm..." And of course, I probably had a big, dopey grin on my face. Told you I had a severe case of 'gutter-head' at the moment. Anyways, all I have to say to all the Alex-hetero fans: "HAHAHA! We got her and you didn't!" Lol. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh. Sorry. Anyways, how about that review...