Prologue
"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."
Chuck Palahniuk, Diary
I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I raced up the stairs. I could hear the ominous steps following me up the stairs as he charged me. My lungs were screaming at me to stop, and I had problems to breath but my fear of what was to come would I stop made me run faster. I ran into my bedroom and slammed the door. I looked around in panic, searching for a place to hide. I spotted a clearing under my bed and crawled under it and placing a bunch of objects in front of me, so I was invisible for the Monster searching for me. I curled up into a ball and shut my eyes, pretending that when I couldn´t see him he couldn´t see me as well.
The door almost broke off the frame as I heard him enter my room. He was breathing heavily and grumbling with furry.
"Where are you, you worthless whore. Come out when you know what's good for you."
I pressed my hands to my ears and bit myself on my lip willing myself to stay silent. Tears ran over my cheeks but I stayed silent knowing that would he find me he would kill me.
He stomped around my room searching for me and destroying half of my room. I heard glass breaking into a million pieces.
Captivated by my fear I didn´t even realise that I had let out a loud whimper till he dragged me out from under my bed by my leg.
I began to silently cry again as he picked me up. He shook me by the shoulders and spat into my face as he shouted at me.
He raised his hand and then smacked me hard in my face, forcing me to let out a loud cry.
"You worthless piece of shit!"
He smacked me in my face again and then throw me to the ground where I landed in the pieces of shattered glass. I could feel the sharp shards of glass poking in my back.
I curled into a foetal position trying to protect myself from the hard kicks which were making me flinch and grunt in pain.
One moment later the monster towered over me and his hands were on my neck, strangling me. Only when I realised what I was unable to breathe my survival instinct made itself known. I started to scratch him in the face and at his hands desperately trying to free myself. Useless, he was too strong. My strength faded and I saw black dots dancing in front of my eyes, my bones grow heavy I stopped fighting the man who was at one point my father who was supposed to love and protect me but he had transformed into a monster straight out of a horrible nightmare.
The last thing I saw was a bright green light.
"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive."
James Baldwin