She clutched the small stick between her hands and breathed deeply. She couldn't force herself to look at it, even though she already knew what it would say. The test made it final, the test made it real. Until she looked, she could continue living her life.
Her legs began to ache from the cramped position she had been sitting in, curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was racing like she had run a mile. She breathed deeply in through her nose and out through her mouth like lady Tsunade had taught her to do when she was anxious.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
It took her about ten more minutes until her heart rate slowed down and she was finally able to force her shaking hands to raise the test into her line of sight.
Positive.
Her heart stopped. Of course, she knew it would be positive. She was a medic nin after all. She had known since the morning sickness had started. But now she had physical proof. She was going to be a mother. She started to hyperventilate. She couldn't be a mother! She was young, she had her entire life ahead of her! And suddenly, she was furious. This was all his fault, if not for him she wouldn't even be in this situation. He had shown up out of no where and then disappeared, leaving her alone with this enormous burden.
Every detail of that night had imbedded itself into her mind. She had just come home from a long day at the hospital and had stumbled nearly blindly into her dark house. She wasn't quite ready for bed, her mind still buzzing with the business of the day. She had moved into the kitchen and put the kettle on, preparing a cup of herbal tea to help calm her mind. She then dragged her sluggish body into the living room and plopped down on the couch. She shut her eyes and savored her tea in silence. Until her peaceful reverie was interrupted by a gruff voice.
"Sakura" She shot up and stared at the figure hidden in the shadows. How had she not sensed him? She dove for the kunia that she always kept strapped to her leg, but she never made it. He was in front of her with his hand wrapped around her wrist before she could grip her weapon. His hold was gentle as he pulled her back up to a sitting position, and again, he said her name.
"Sakura" She bit her lip hard and kept her eyes down. She did not know why he was here, but she would not let him see how weak he made her.
"Sakura" Why did he have to say her name like that? It nearly brought tears to her eyes every time she heard it. She felt rough, calloused fingers under her chin, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. Green orbs took in his features with an equal mix of both shock, and awe. His onyx eyes smoldered back, and it suddenly struck her how beautiful he was. She had always known of course, but after their lengthy separation, he seemed even more entrancing.
" Why are you here, Sasuke?" She tried to sound powerful as she said it, but her voice wavered as she said his name. His expression did not change, but she could have sworn she saw a flash of something in his eyes.
" I…needed to see you." His voice was gravely as he said it and his eyes seemed to burn her with the intensity of his stare. She stared at him in disbelief.
"What?" And then it suddenly occurred to her, and it made her furious. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Kai" He remained the same. So, it wasn't genjutsu. He blinked in shock.
"What are you doing?" He seemed genuinely confused as he said it, the bastard. She glared at him with utter distain.
" The real Sasuke Uchiha would never willingly return to Konoha, he would never admit to needing anything from anyone, and he most certainly would never want to see me. So, who are you?" He stared at her blankly.
" I am Sasuke Uchiha." He said it calmly and his face was as stoic as ever, but his tone held the same tinge of amusement she recognized from their genin days. She had to remind herself it wasn't the same, it was just some cheap imitation. Her hands shook. How dare he.
She jumped from the couch and freed her kunai from its hiding place. He didn't stop her, he just watched from his crouched position next to her couch.
" Tell me who you are" She was yelling now but she didn't care. He watched her with a bored expression, as if her outburst was a mild inconvenience rather than a death threat. He rose slowly to his full height, towering over her.
He had a smug smirk on his stupidly beautiful face and he chuckled.
" You're so annoying" Her breath caught in her throat and she stared at him with wide eyes. In a movement so fast her eyes couldn't quite catch it he was suddenly close enough to her that she could feel his hot breath sweep across her face. She barely even registered his hands freeing the kunai from her grip, she was too busy memorizing every edge and curve of his face.
"Sasuke-kun?" She whispered it in disbelief and her hands rose on their own accord to trace his face. He watched her carefully through his dark, emotionless eyes. Then, suddenly and without warning, he swept down and captured her lips in a searing kiss.
That night had been filled with a kind of pleasure she had never experienced before. She had felt wanted, loved, and decidedly not annoying. She had fallen asleep in a warm embrace, and woken up to a cold bed.
He had left long before she had woken up, leaving no trace that he had even even been there. She would have almost assumed that it had been a dream, if not for her clothes carelessly scattered around her room, and smattering of bruise like marks on her neck.
She had felt embarrassed and used and furious. Angry at him, yes, but also so furious with herself. She had spent the better part of her teenage years chasing after him and when she had finally begun to put it all behind her and move on, she had allowed him to suck her right back in. He hadn't really even had to try. She had fallen right into his arms. God she was pathetic.
She hadn't told anyone about his little visit. She had been far too embarrassed. In fact, she had tried to forget about it herself. But that obviously wasn't going to work anymore, not if the pregnancy test in her sweaty grip had anything to say about it.
She had no idea what she was going to do. She knew she couldn't get rid of it, regardless of what he did to her, the baby was still Sasuke's and she would never be able to part from it. She cursed her weak heart. She needed to make her decision fast. Konoha was not particularly kind to single mothers. She remembered helping them in the hospital. No one ever came to the birth and they always went home alone. They became outcasts and their children did too. She couldn't do that to her child, she wouldn't let that happen.
Besides, when the child was born, there would be no mistaking who the father was. Uchiha children had always been decipherable by their aristocratic characteristics. The pale skin, dark hair and eyes, and eventually the sharingan would undoubtably stamp the child as his. If he found out about the baby, he would want it. She recalled his words from that first day of training with team seven. So long ago now, but his oath still so clear in her mind. To get revenge on a certain someone, and to revive his clan. There was no doubt in her mind that he would come after the baby. She didn't think he would intentionally hurt it, but he would pull it into the revenge and violence crazed haze that still surrounded the Uchiha clan. So she would have to leave her beloved home, and go somewhere where no one knew her.
She rose from her place on the ground, body stiff and sore, and washed her hands with the sterile, medical soap. She put on her best composed, professional face and pocketed the test as she walked back into the bustle of the hospital.
"You were in there awhile, feeling ok?" Shizune asked as she glanced up at her over a chart.
Sakura channeled ever lesson Lady Tsunade had ever taught her about undercover missions as she answered, " Yeah, just cramps".
She tried not to release an audible sigh of relief when Shizune responded with a noncommittal sound and went back to checking her charts.
The next day Sakura scheduled tea with Ino-Pig, and later ramen with Naruto. Both blonds were characteristically loud and excitable and she made an effort to act normally, and ignore the pink tint that seemed to hover around her precious people. After their talks, she tried to hug them and tell them both how she loved them casually. Naruto easily accepted it with starry eyes, but Ino's gaze narrowed dangerously. So, Sakura insulted her weight to negate suspicion.
Then, on Monday she left to escort a paranoid Feudal Lord's daughter to the hidden village of rain. It took barely two days and, like Lady Tsunade had guessed, it progressed without incident.
Now came the hard part. She sent a letter back to Konoha letting them know that she would not be returning, she didn't really include any more information than that. She sent Ino a bouquet of flowers with well known meanings attached to each type; Sweet peas (thank you for a lovely time), Irises (your friendship means so much to me), Pink carnation (I'll never forget you), Oak leaved Geraniums (true friendship), and Zinnias (Thoughts of absent friends). She knew Ino would understand.
She didn't send a private letter to Tsunade, knowing it would put her in a particularly tricky political situation to receive personal letters from a missing-nin. But before she left she had hidden a nondescriptly wrapped, sakura patterned sake set in her bottom desk drawer.
She sent a letter to her parents, telling them she loved them and that she was sorry, she would stay safe and she hoped they would too.
Then, she sent a lengthy letter to Naruto, apologizing for leaving, telling him she loved him as if he were her own brother, and asking him not to follow her.
She absolutely hated having to leave him, now all of his teammates were gone and she knew he had seen his team as his family. But, she could make a better life for her child in another town, and her child came first. So, she sent the letters and continued north toward the hidden village of rock. She planned on settling in a small village that did not have ninjas, somewhere where her sudden arrival would not meet great suspicion.
Before she left she purchased a box of hair dye and scissors. She clipped her long hair into a short, flirty cut and traded in her eye catching locks for a more common deep brown. The vain part of her mourned at the loss of her most distinct feature but the kunoichi in her knew the necessity of blending in.
The journey was lonely and hellishly hot, but she moved quickly and made it to the far end of the country of rock in about four days. She could feel her hair, now too short to pull into a proper pony tail, sticking to her sweaty forehead and flies nipping at her legs. She raised her water bottle to her lips, but only a couple lukewarm drops hit her lips. She would have to stop to refill her resources. She wasn't able to pack much, she had only been supposed to go on a four day mission, so bare essentials and small memorabilia were the only things that made the cut. She continued trekking down the dry, dusty road and adjusted the straps of her heavy pack.
About 20 minutes later buildings came into view and she hurried her pace. She entered the first shop she saw and asked for food and a refill of her water bottles. The old man on the other side of the counter simply grunted and moved into the back of the shop. While she waited, she absentmindedly gazed out the window and took in the rugged beauty of the mountainside. It was difficult to notice the majesty out in the heat, but in the coolness of the shop, she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the horizon. The old man returned and with her supplies and she thanked him and gave him the money. She left the shop and continued on through the town. As she walked through, she began to notice how cute it was. Unsupervised children screamed and chased each other through the streets despite the oppressive heat. The shops were colorful and, the town square and market were lively, heavily adorned flower boxes decorated every visible window, and although it was small, it had a certain kind of charm. It reminded her in some ways of Konoha. It was the perfect kind of place to raise a child. She decided she would stay the night here.
She continued walking through the town and finally stopped when she crossed a quaint inn. The white haired, elderly woman manning the desk, Mizuki, read her name tag, smiled warmly at her and asked her how many nights she would be staying and how many people would be joining her. When Sakura told her she was alone, the woman frowned in evident concern and asked her if she was traveling alone. Sakura had to remind herself that she no longer looked like a ninja. She forced an airy laugh and told her no, she had left her husband in the last village to finish business while she waited for him here, she hated the stuffy hotel and uptight atmosphere and would much prefer to entertain herself in the small town. Mizuki's friendly smile returned and she let out a chuckle, asking how her husband had responded to that. Sakura giggled mischievously and told her he had been furious, then she waved a dismissive hand and explained that he would get over it soon enough.
Mizuki let out a deep bellied laugh and handed Sakura her keys, telling her that if she wanted, she would give her a tour of the town tomorrow. Sakura thanked her exuberantly and told her that would be lovely while she handed her a handful of bills. Mizuki handed Sakura her change before telling her she would be staying in room 17. Sakura thanked her and turned to leave.
"Wait! What did you say your name was, dear?" Mizuki called out while scrambling to find what Sakura assumed was a record of the rooms.
Sakura paused for a moment that only could have been noticed by a shinobi but cursed her genin-style hesitation nonetheless before answering, " Furuta Sorano". Mizuki scribbled the name down and then shot her another smile.
"Enjoy your stay Sorano-San" Mizuki told her warmly and gestured to the stairs at the back of the lobby. "Up the stairs and to your left"
"Thank you Mizuki-san" Sakura said while she smiled and tucked the keys into her pocket.
The room was nice enough, a bit small, but cozy and quaint like the village. She locked the door behind her and dropped her bag on the bed before heading for the shower, desperate to wash off the grime of the day. When she stepped out of the shower, she wiped the fog from the mirror and was shocked by her appearance, she had almost forgotten about her hair. She tugged at the ends of her short locks and suddenly the trauma of the week caught up to her.
A strangled sob tore its way out of her mouth and she gripped the edge of the sink with white knuckles. She was officially a traitor to her village, she would never see her friends or family again. She would never argue with Ino-Pig again, never scold Naruto, or make fun of snobby officials over mission scrolls with Lady Tsunade, never enjoy her mother's cooking or her fathers warm embrace, never play shougi with Shikamaru, or tease Hinata about her ever lasting crush on Naruto. Her entire life, gone just like that. Another sob wracked her body and she glared at her reflection, seeing another person entirely.