Author Note: This is a human AU! No gum, lumps or vampires here

Prince Gumball collapsed onto his bed. It had been yet another long, arduous day. He had four different meetings, and had to spend the rest of the day attending to the needs of his people that had piled up as always. He slowly turned over in bed and sat up, letting out a heaving sigh. To his relief, his maid had already left a steaming hot cup of chamomile tea at his bedside. He smiled as he took a sip. She always knew how to make tea to his liking. Suddenly, he put the cup down and took off his shirt so he could enjoy his tea in his pajamas. He was just about to remove his pants when the door burst open.

"BUBBSIE! What up, dude?"

The prince was so startled that he thought he would explode with anxiety. "Augh…what is it?" He asked.

"I just came to see what you were up to. I knew that no matter what, you're gonna need someone to chill with and get you out of that funk."

"I am in no 'funk', thank you very much. I love my work."

"Yeah, like whatever."

Gumball's visitor was no other than the purple-loving prince from the Rolling Lands, nicknamed Lumpy Space for the fact that its many hills seem to form an unnatural pentagon of rolling plains.

"So, like how've you been? Haven't seen you in like, forever." Lumpy Space Prince asked, taking a seat into an overstuffed chair.

"Oh, I've been doing quite well, thank you! I've been experimenting with stem cells in my lab, and I think I might have reached a breakthr-"

"Boooooooooooooooorrring!" LSP began to snore.

"Well, you did ask how I was."

"How you were! I didn't ask for you to tell me your entire life story! We'll be here for six years if you tell me all that junk. Besides labs, meetings and junk, what else have you been up to?"

"Well…" Gumball bit his lip. What had he been up to in his spare time? "I am afraid that I spend all my free time in my lab or in the kitchen. I was thinking about making some cream puffs later. Would you like to help?"

"I'll help you eat them, but whatever. Sounds boring. The only thing I like about cooking is that there's a ton of dough to eat." Lumpy Space prince walked over and put his hands on Gumball's shoulders. "You need to get out more, man."

"Excuse you? As a prince, I have a reputation to keep up! Besides, I am perfectly content with-"

"Blah blah blah blah! Do you ever stop talking and just listen to people? What I'm saying is that you need to get out of this place. You also need to start spending more than a few minutes with your buds and calling that hanging out. I know you're not completely boring! I know there must be a human in there somewhere." Lumpy Space Prince then proceeded to rummage through Gumball's things and haphazardly threw what was not of interest over his shoulder.

"W-wait! I have a system! You're messing up my order!"

"Yeah, whatever. I don't care. Wait…you listen to the Demon King too?"

Gumball blushed. "Yes; I happen to really like his music. I do listen to music every now and again to calm my nerves."

"Oh good, I was starting to think you were manufactured or something for work and there wasn't any humanity in your bod." LSP suddenly froze and grinned from ear to ear. "Dude, there's like totally a Demon King concert Saturday. You need to come there with me and get out of this place."

"Excuse you? Like I said before, I have a reputation to keep up with that I can't afford to ruin. I'm a prince! I have people who depend on me and look up to me. Besides, I have so much work to do."

"Dude, use those brains of yours to make yourself a hole in your schedule that leaves you free for Saturday night. It's not that hard. I know you can do it and you just don't wanna let yourself. Besides, you don't have to be the prince that night; we'll dress you up and stuff and no one will notice you!" LSP gasped. "Let's go online shopping!" LSP ran over to Gumball's computer and collapsed his rather well-endowed behind into the computer chair. "Gimmie a credit card. We'll make you all sexy so you can-" LSP gasped once again. "I just had two amazing ideas. First, we should totally get you a back stage pass to go see the Demon King. Second, I think I know what will loosen you up for good. You should take somebody from the concert home and get laid!"

Gumball's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Excuse me? I at least need to be taken out to dinner first. I'm not having sex on the first day, and there's no way in heck that I'm having a one night stand."

"You say that now, but just wait until you see somebody with some massive jugs or a huge badonkadonk walk by. You'll be all over that." Gumball's face scrunched up. "Oh, are you into the ittie bittie titty committee? Into buts instead of booty?" LSP frowned. "Don't tell me the rumors are true. You're into guys aren't you?"

Gumball's eyes widened. "Um…"

"That's a yes. To be honest, it's not hard to figure out at all."

"I-I'm not confirming anything. I know you can't keep your mouth shut."

"Well whatever you're into, you need to get laid. Maybe we can get you a back stage pass and Marshall can show you a good time. Maybe a good party. Sounds like a plan. Gimmie a credit card!"

Gumball sighed. There was no stopping this one. "Fine…"

Gumball tried his best to throw himself into his work, but to his disappointment, the uneasiness of what was to come that Saturday overcame him. He felt himself getting more and more tea than usual, and blanking out in thought during meetings. Eventually, Saturday came and he nervously sat on his bed to wait for LSP.

"BUBS!" LSP burst in through the door with his arms raised and looked as if he just won the lottery. Gumball sucked in his breath swiftly and prepared for the worst. "Are you ready for - wait. You have to chill out first. The stick is even further up your ass than usual."

"Excuse me? I do not have a stick up my bottom. I am perfectly calm right now."

"That's a big fat lie. Anyway, let's get you dressed up. I got you so much stuff."

"What's in the can and packages you bought? I thought you just got me clothes."

"Well, you complained so much about being seen that I decided to dye your hair and give you piercings so you'll be even more unrecognizable."

Gumball went pale. "Ex-excuse me?"

"You heard me. Put on this stuff already!" LSP pointed to the stash of items he ordered and flopped into an overstuffed chair. Gumball sighed and took the clothes into the bathroom to get dressed.

Before he could even finish, LSP burst into the bathroom with the can of dye and packs of piercings. "Why are you taking so long? Are you ready for – wait, you wear panties?"

"LSP! Please! This is awkward enough as it is!"

"Oh, I see. You're getting yourself all sexy for your one night stand. Good idea."

"I am n…you know what, I don't even care what you think anymore. Just do your worst. However, I am concerned about the dye and piercings…"

"Dude, I'm not crazy! It's for one night. It's totally temp dye and fake piercings. After a hot shower and some easy removals, you'll be back to your boring old princess self."

"Prince."

"Whatever. Hold still."

With surprising care, LSP worked on Gumball's hair. He didn't want to admit it, but he rather liked the colors he had picked. Half of his hair had been dyed jet black while the other half was bright pink. To his relief, all the piercings were false as LSP had said. Who knew he would look good with so many piercings?

"So, what do you think? You don't look like the pompous, high and mighty princess prince anymore. I think I did a good job."

"To be honest, I can agree. Not only does it not look bad, but I barely look like myself unless I really look."

Gumball stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had on a long black hoodie with bright cyan flames on them and torn grey jeans. He wore sneakers and covered his hair with his hood. He had stick-on eyebrow piercings, a nose ring, and snake bites. Just in case his hood was removed, LSP had also given him several earrings that either stuck on or slid on the cartilage.

"Are you wearing lip gloss?"

"Shouldn't we be going?"

LSP turned in a huff and headed out the door. Unknown to him, Gumball had added several…enhancements to himself, some of which were caught already by his rather loud friend. He hated to admit it, but his subconscious screamed at him to pretty himself up in preparation for the prospect of getting dirty for the night. He tried his best to hide his secret excitement behind the very slight smile he always wore in case a picture was snapped of him.

Before he knew it, he was standing outside of LSP's car. It could not possibly have passed inspection, but he tried his best to ignore it. He definitely didn't want to get in, but he tried his best to hide his discomfort and got in. LSP probably lived in there for all he knew. He was surprised he had a car, even if it was an awful one. As the engine sputtered to life, he couldn't help but look back at his palace with a longing look on his face. How would this night turn out?

"Let's go party!" Gumball gripped the seat as LSP suddenly sped off over the speed limit and got onto the interstate. What had he gotten himself into?

Loud. That's all that Gumball could think of. Loud. "Will I go deaf?" He thought to himself. No matter how hard he tried, he could not seem to keep track of LSP! He would lose him for minutes on end and then find him with his eyes attached to a miniskirt.

"Have you even spoken to anyone yet?" LSP asked after Gumball lost and found him for what felt like the millionth time.

"Um…no. I don't know anyone here and I don't want to cause unwanted attention to myself."

"Lame! Dude, your backstage pass is your ticket to getting laid. Find a piece of booty you like and just offer your pass to them. She'll love you forever and do whatever you ask. I know what's what I'm doing with my pass. I'm getting my D wet tonight!"

Gumball groaned and turned away in disgust. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew LSP was right; how was he ever going to get laid at that rate? No matter how hard he tried, his subconscious kept screaming at him to get some. In order to calm himself, he tried his best to focus on the music. As he peered up to the singing, guitar playing star on stage, Gumball felt himself getting lost. A small smile crept onto his face as he listened to what he believed was a demonic angel sent to sing for the masses. As warmth rose to his face, he the noise of the crowd seemed to subside to almost nothing. Just as he was about to be completely lost to the music, he felt a huge smack on his back. He yelped and turned around to find his friend standing behind him with a girl attached to him.

"Dude, I thought I lost you. I was calling you for ages. You looked like you were freaking in love. I wanted to introduce you to Makenzie."

The girl stuck to his friend, or rather his back stage pass, gave a small wave before looking down and freezing up. "Oh my God."

Gumball raised one eyebrow and followed her gaze. To his horror, he had been happier than he thought when listening to the music. With haste, he pulled down his hoodie and blushed madly. "S-sorry! It happens!"

LSP chuckled, but it was lost in the sounds of the crowd and the music pouring from the speakers. "Man, and I thought the only hard and rock thing was the hard rock he's playing. I guess I was wrong! Anyway, if you need a ride back, just follow Mackenzie back to me when she's done being back stage." He smirked when the girl under his arm squealed in delight and kissed his pass.

Gumball gave a slight eye roll and turned back around to face the stage.

"Hey guy! I don't think I caught your name. You want to see the band?" Gumball turned around to find LSP's date looking at him in confusion. When she gave him a quick once-over and peered into the face under his hoodie, she seemed to come to a realization. "Oh, my bad. I didn't know."

Gumball raised a falsely-pierced brow. "You didn't know what?"

"About…you know. What you're into."

Gumball jumped slightly. "W-wait, you think I'm – I'm not - !"

"Dude, it's fine. It's 2015. You don't have to be afraid to admit what you are!"

Gumball groaned. Soon, a security guard motioned for the many girls to walk through the back stage door. LSP's date let out an inhuman screech and was the first to burst through the door. Gumball felt himself grow shaky as he, the last person, walked through the door. To his embarrassment, he appeared to be the only male there who had come to see the band. When he followed a small line, he saw that none other than Marshall Lee was signing autographs. To his greatest surprise however, he gave each and every girl a big wet kiss.

"That's right, Marsh kisses all his fans." Marshall winked at one girl and chuckled as her friends had to catch her when she nearly fainted. Soon, it was Gumball's turn for an autograph.

"Um…could you sign my phone case please?" Asked Gumball.

"Sure, no prob." Marshall stopped for a minute to peer into Gumball's hooded face for a minute and looked him from head to toe. "Actually…do you mind if I see your phone for a sec? I know how to work it; I've got the same one."

"My phone? Sure I suppose..." Marshall signed Gumball's case and smirked evilly as he entered something into the hot pink phone. When Gumball took it back, he nearly fainted. Marshall had entered himself as a new contact and wrote "call me~" next to his name. "W-what is the meaning of this?"

"What's the meaning of this? What, do you live under a rock? It means that I want somebody to hang with and…stuff." Marshall smirked devilishly with the last word. "I can drive you if you want. We can order something and watch some movies."

Gumball froze. "Um…you mean tonight?"

"Tonight would be great. I need someone to help me relax and shit. These guys all have dates, so I'm left with no friends for the night to hang with."

Gumball gulped. Should he go with him? He couldn't mean that he just wants a friend. Is this really happening? What does he say when he wants to go back to the palace? Gumball thought things over in his head for what seemed like forever to Marshall.

"I know you're going to say yes, so let's just go."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on Snake Bites. You know you want to hang with the coolest person on the planet. I didn't catch your name by the way."

Gumball was caught by surprise, but made a quick recovery. "Actually, my friends call me Snake Bites. You can just call me that."

"Cool. Well, I'm ready if you are."

"O-Oh, I'm ready too."

After a relatively quiet car ride, Gumball found himself at a very comfortable apartment. He expected a rock star like Marshall to have roaches crawling out of pizza boxes and underwear on the table, but to his greatest surprise there wasn't a single item out of place. His kind of guy. Marshall turned on a lamp as Gumball took a seat on the couch.

"I'm gonna order us some pizza." Marshall plopped down on the couch and stretched out his arms. "Do you eat meat?"

"What?!" Gumball screamed in his mind. His jaw dropped as he felt all of the blood rush to his cheeks.

Marshall's smirk faded. "Dude, what did you think I meant? I was asking if you were a vegetarian."

"Oh! Oh! Of course! No, I am not. I'm fine with whatever you order."

Marshall chuckled. "Great. You thought I meant something else, didn't you? Sounds like someone's brain is stuck on Hump Day."

"Oh, honestly!" Gumball crossed his arms in a huff. "It was a simple mistake. My mind is not in the gutter!"

"Dude, chill out. Don't get your panties in a twist. It was funny! You need to get the stick out of your ass and chillax."

Gumball blushed. Was LSP actually right about the way he acted? He hated the thought of LSP of all people being right. "I'm sorry. I just…I'm just very tense and uneasy. I usually don't do things like this. I'm um…an introvert! Yes. I just am not used to concerts and hanging out. My friend dragged me out to your concert practically against my will after he found out that I love your music."

Marshall's smirk grew. "You are adorable. Don't worry, I'll take care of you. Go ahead and pick out a movie while I order us some grub." Marshall walked into another room with his phone after gesturing to a tall stack of DVD cases. "White Chicks? Is this a porno?" Gumball blushed. What kinds of movies were these? After a quick read through disk synopsizes, he found out that Marshall was apparently into African American comedy. The first movie he saw apparently wasn't even porn at all.

"K, pizza should be here soon. Hope you like the junk I ordered. Oh, you wanna watch Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood? I love that one! Let's."

Gumball jumped when he awoke feeling too comfortable. How did he end up in Marshall's arms? "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I pass out?"

Marshall smiled at him. "Yup. A couple movies in, you passed out and I kept you warm. You were out for a while. It was cute." Gumball felt the blood rush to his face once more. "You know…I have a rule that I kiss all my fans, and I don't think I got a kiss from you. We need to fix that."

Gumball's face reddened even more. "Excuse me? Wait, you're – "

"Pansexual?" Gumball mentally smacked himself for automatically assuming that Marshall, or anyone for that matter, was heterosexual. How rude of him. "You have to move the hood though. I want to see your face."

Gumball felt the excessive blood drain from his cheeks. "That is not a good idea."

"Why, did you lose a bet and get a bad haircut? It's cool. I'm sure you'll still be adorable."

"N-no, it's just-"

"Snakey. Hood. Off. Now."

Gumball's anger bubbled over. "Don't order me around! I give orders!" Gumball covered his mouth. Whoops. He felt like a vampire in the sunlight when Marshall suddenly flipped his hood back.

"You're totally that faggy prince, aren't you? That last outburst kind of gave it away."

Gumball sighed. "A normal prince, yes. My friends really just call me Gumball."

Silence filled the room for what felt like hours until Marshall finally broke it. "So, can I still get that kiss? I'm clean you know if that's what you're worried about."

"Wait, you're not angry? Shocked? You don't feel deceived? You're ok with this?"

"Sure I am. As long as we're spilling secrets here, I'm a king who is living a double life. The rumors are true." For the second time that night? – morning? -, Gumball's jaw fell on the ground. "So, technically, I can give you orders. I order you to pucker up and get ready for a ride."

Gumball sighed and did as he was told. He didn't expect anything, but he could barely contain his surprise when he felt a pair of oddly cool lips on his own. Even more surprising, he felt a tongue. He let out a small whimper at first, but then he all but melted. Just when he was about to get more, Marshall pulled away.

"Dude, are you wearing flavored lip gloss?"

"Perhaps."

Marshall's smirk deepened. "You dirty little thing. That means yes. How did you know that I love strawberries?"

"I just happen to like strawberries is all."

"Sure, sure. You know, I really like your disguise. Who did it? All that stuff comes off, right?"

"Yes; all of the piercings are false and the dye is temporary. The friend that dragged me to the concert did my disguise.

"Well, he she or they did a damn good job. You know what really make tonight?"

"What?"

"Dress up."

Gumball raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I want you to try on some of my stuff so I can see how you look in it. I think you could get away in some of my other concerts in some of my awesome stuff. My wardrobe is amazingly sexy." Gumball was skeptical. "Come on, no buts. I know you're thinking of excuses right now. Clothes time!" Gumball yelped as Marshall grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him into his room with surprising strength.

"I'm telling you, I refuse to come out of this room!"

"Come on princess, it's cool! We're both dudes. Whatever it is can't be that bad."

"I'm telling you that these pants are entirely too small!"

"Nah, you've just got an ass that's too big for them. Booty is good though; I like it. Come out already."

Gumball groaned and shuffled out of Marshall's bathroom. He was holding Marshall's jeans up by the crotch to cover himself, but his back side was left partly exposed.

"Very sexy."

Marshall was right. Other than the obvious issue with his pants, he thought he looked amazing. Gumball's face flushed when he felt a pair of thin arms encircle his waist. Gumball was looking into Marshall's closet doors, which were all a bunch of mirrors. He couldn't believe the sight of the arms around his waist.

"You know, you smell really good." Gumball felt himself shiver as Marshall gently kissed, then licked his neck. "Are you wearing body butter?"

"Perhaps."

"That means yes. How'd you know I love cherries too? I swear, you are my fetish."

Before Gumball could nervously blurt out anything else, he felt teeth on his neck. The tiniest of moans escaped from his mouth before he could close it. He knew he would have to wear high collared outfits after this. With each love bite that he received, a shiver ran up and down his body and blood began to collect in a place other than his face that time. Marshall's hands trailed under Gumball's – or rather Marshall's – borrowed shirt and firmly rubbed the tender skin underneath before trailing downward.

"Come on. Lose the hands, hun."

Gumball did as he was told and let go of his pants. His posterior was indeed too large, so the pants stayed up regardless.

"You wear panties too? Well, I guess you have to in order to contain all of this." Gumball yelped after feeling a firm smack on his buttocks, earning a chuckle from Marshall. "I just want you to relax, alright? I know came to see me so you could get out of that stuffy palace. Marshy has just what you need." Gumball sighed in contentment as he felt a hand slide across his buttocks and another hand firmly stroke him. Marshall began to move forward until Gumball's hands were firmly pressed onto the glass in front of him. He then felt a great warmth on his buttocks that slowly slid up and down.

"Can I ask you something awkward?"

"Mhm…" Gumball replied, too in shock to use real words.

"Are you fine with this?" Marshall pressed his fingers just above his entrance.

"Mhm…"

Gumball heard the snap of what sounded like a cap before feeling warm, wet fingers gently slide in and work themselves in and out of his entrance. As he began to feel more and more heat, he began to squirm slightly.

"You ok?"

"Yes…it's just hot!"

"Yup, this is hot."

"No, I mean…back there."

"Oh. This is warming lube."

Gumball frowned slightly when he felt Marshall remove his fingers, but his disappointment faded when he felt something else press against him. He felt more wetness before ever so slowly, Marshall began entering him. Gumball held his breath until Marshall was all of the way in, and then he took a few deep breaths. He opened his eyes wider to look at himself in the mirror as Marshall began to move.

"Damn Gummy, you're tight!"

"Marshall! That's too distasteful! And…it's my first time being on the bottom."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to keep taking good care of you."

Gumball's thoughts began to fade into mush as the heat began to rise once more. He had to put one hand over his mouth to hold back what lewd noises felt needed to escape from his mouth. When he looked up in the mirror, his eyes widened. He couldn't believe what was happening, but watching the scene before him unfold only made the pleasure rise more. He had to remove the hand from his mouth and replace it on the mirror to brace himself when Marshall began to move faster while stroking him. To his displeasure, very lewd noises and words began to slide from his throat.

"Dude, are you ok?" Gumball tried to tell him that he was fine, but then Marshall stopped. "You're kind of freaking me out." Gumball became confused yet angered by the pause, but then realized that Marshall may not have understood him. He managed to stutter out that English wasn't his first language, and Marshall began to move again. Gumball looked back at himself in the mirror at his reddened face. This all felt wrong. He was a prince, and here he was having sex on the first date with another man! Was it even a date? He felt disgraced, degraded, and utterly ruined. However, at the same time it all felt so right. He didn't want it to stop.

Just as he was about to spill over, Marshall groaned and stopped. Gumball turned around to look at the surprisingly embarrassed Marshall. "Sorry babe; I won't leave you hanging." Marshall stood Gumball up and then got on his knees in front of him, eying what was presented before him. "Damn." Gumball's eyes went as wide as saucers when Marshall took Gumball into his mouth and got to work. Gumball's hands went up to his mouth to cover what noises threatened to escape as he watched. Marshall looked up at him as he worked and gently kneaded the soft orbs underneath. Gumball thought he'd melt from both the pleasure and the heat.

In a split second, found he could not take it anymore. With a muffled scream, Gumball exploded and gripped Marshall's hair tighter than he meant to. He shivered and shook as his climax wore out before falling backwards on Marshall's bed.

"God! What was that, like six years' worth?" Marshall chuckled. "You really did need my help. Feel free to come back any time." Marshall's smile faded when he realized that the barely conscious Gumball probably didn't hear what he had said. After stretching, Marshall got up and dragged Gumball into bed with him. He gently kissed Gumball goodnight before he saw his heavy eyes close. He smiled before falling asleep himself.

"Good morning, Booty Call." Gumball jumped slightly and turned around only to see Marshall standing in the kitchen in nothing but his boxers.

"Booty Call? Excuse me?" Gumball then jumped when he realized what panties he was wearing. He wore a black and white striped pair of underwear with peach colored lace, a keyhole at the top, and "BOOTY CALL" written on it in big glittery blue letters. Why had he bought these again? Oh, right. His subconscious is a dirty person. "Oh…right. Sorry. I made eggs. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave or not, but then I just decided to wash my clothes first and-"

"Leave? I'm not that kind of guy! Man, I thought I came off as better than that. We had so much fun last night that I think we should do it again if you want. Not often I have that kind of fun when sober. What do you say?"

Gumball smiled. "I'd like that. Could we be friends?"

"Aren't we already? I didn't mean just butt buddies. That's cool too though. Oh, and don't worry about the prince thing; your secret's safe with me. But I have to ask, what's with the hole in the back of your underwear? Easy access?"

"Oh, honestly! Just eat and hush."

Marshall let out a hearty laugh as he took a plate of eggs to the couch. Boy, LSP sure wouldn't believe this!