Chapter 1
"Ron! Ron!", It was Ginny yelling his name. He was hoping it'd be Hermione. Also to his dismay Ginny was running towards him, not with a smile and relief that he made it through the war, but in fear and sadness. He sped his steps up slightly to meet her halfway, but she denied his hug and dragged him into the Great Hall. Filled with dead bodies and wounded the Great Hall had become the medical headquarters for the time being. But Ginny led him past the wounded and past the white sheeted bodies, towards the hospital wing.
"Ginny, what is going on? Where are we going?" she suddenly stopped and faced him for the first time all night.
"Something happened. After you left Hermione on the staricase." Ron's mind drifted back to the moment, which had only happened less than two hours ago, when he kissed Hermione for the first time. But soon after the kiss, Ron knew he had to find Harry. He had left Hermione by the staircase; she had waved to him as he made his way to the outside world.
" She's dead isn't she?" he asked knowing deep down that he wouldn't be able to live without her.
" No, but she was attacked by a Death Eater. He stunned her and. . . .and" she couldn't say it. The thought sent shivers up her spine. She couldn't get the picture out of her head. She had been the one to find Hermione, she saw the Death Eater lingering over Hermione's half naked body. She tried to kill the Death Eater with one flick of her wand but he ran, and she had more important things to do. So she revived Hermione from her stunned state and took her to the only safe place she could think of; the hospital wing.
"Ron, he forced himself on her, he. . ." Finally the words clicked in his mind. The bloody git had put his hands on Hermione, his Hermione. Ron's entire body shook with anger and frustration. Suddenly his mind began to wonder, he saw himself tracking down the pathetic excuse of a man who did this and killing him slowly and painfully. But it was Ginny who pulled him out of his thoughts and towards the giant doors.
" I have warn you, she's not in good shape. But she's been asking for you. She needs to know that you love her and that you can be there for her. She's in bed. Now go." and Ginny was gone, most likely went to go congratulate Harry. Ron stood there, looking at the doors, preparing himself for what was about to go down. For, right now, he was the most scared he had ever been. He had to be strong for Hermione, but he was the one to be blamed. He had left her alone, to fend for herself, in one of the most dangerous situations they'd ever been in. How could she possibly want him? He had let her down the most.
He finally conjured up enough courage to open the doors into the wing. He could now see why the Great Hall was the medical headquarters, the back left corner of the room was completely destroyed and the windows busted out. Most of the cots were broke and all the curtains torn down. All except the bed that Hermione was sitting on, her head buried in her hands, her body violently shaking with her sobs. Ron didn't know if she'd heard him come in but he quietly sat beside her and ran his fingers through her hair while he carefully rubbed her back. It surprised him that she didn't retreat or push him away. Instead she leaned closer to him, gently laid her head on his shoulder.
" Ron." she breathed and he kissed her head.
"I am so sorry, Hermione. I am so sorry" tears began to trinckle down his face as he pulled her into him, wrapping his arms all the way around her, encircling her in his warmth.
"No, Ron. You had to go, you had to find Harry. I should've been more careful. I didn't even hear him come up behind me. I watched you leave and I headed towards the courtyard and he got me from behind."
" You know what he did to you, right?" he asked, he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Right now all he wanted to do was to get her to stop crying.
" Yeah, I know. I've showered three times and I still feel dirty." she said this with a smile, not the beautiful Hermione smile he was used to but a smile nonetheless.
Two months later.
Hermione sat up in bed. For the fifth time she had woken up feeling nauseous. So she made her way to the nathroom and for the second time today proceeded to puke her guts out. She knew what was happening but she had to hide it. She'd known for some time now that she was pregnant but she just couldn't voice it yet. She made her way back to Ginny's room and laid back down, she knew her secret wouldn't stay hidden much longer.
Ron hadn't slept through an entire night since the end of the war. Every night he would wake up due to the same nightmare he's had ever since that wretched night. It always started and ended the same way. So it became his routine to go for a walk when he wakes up. As he made his way around the Burrow and past the pond, he headed back inside to make it appear like he had been asleep the entire night. But as he made his way up the stairs he heard someone exit the bathroom. He then saw Hermione emerge and wipe her mouth. This was the third morning in a row he had seen her on his way back to his room. And she was always wiping her mouth.
He lay in his bed, guessing it was around six in the morning, deep in thought. For the past two months he had been wishing for things to have ended differently. Yes, the war is over and yes, everything has calmed down but Hermione wasn't the same. That night changed her; it made her skittish and nervous, always waiting for something bad to happen. He decided today would be the day he changed that.
Hermione starred at the ceiling, wishing she had courage. Wishing she could tell Ron, he of all people deserved to know. He still blames himself, she knows he does, she can see it in his eyes when he looks at her. She had to tell him. To tell someone. So when Ginny stirred and sat up, Hermione plopped down beside her, ready to spill her secrets.
"Ginny, I need to tell you something. Something important, but you can't tell anyone. Not Harry, not Ron, not even your mum. Can you do that?" Hermione whispered, she knew Ron's room was right above them.
"Yeah of course Hermione, you can tell me anything." Hermione sucked in her breath and tried to calm her nerves.
"I'm pregnant." Ginny just looked at her. For a second Hermione thought that maybe she hadn't said it loud enough. " I'm.. . ."
"Yeah I heard you" Ginny said interrupting Hermione. " When did you and Ron do that? I mean, the entire house is filled with people who'd hear you, unless it wasn't in the house." Ginny raised her eyebrow at Hermione and gave her a smile.
" No, it's not Ron's. It's the Death Eater's." Ginny's face slowly but surely creased into a very concerned, understanding look.
"Oh, I forgot about him. Are you sure? Maybe it's the flu or something. Or maybe homesickness!" Ginny's face lit up with ideas that would explain why Hermione was getting sick but deep down she and Hermione knew that it wasn't the flu or homesickness. It was a baby. A teeny tiny baby is growing inside her.
Ron slowly and reluctanly got out of bed, changed and headed downstairs for another boring day of Hermione ignoring him. He wasn't even sure if they were together. Sure they had kissed but sometimes that doesn't mean anything, to some people a kiss is nothing special. But he sure thought it was. It took every ounce of courage he had to kiss her, it was something he had wanted to do ever since fourth year, when she descended down the stairs in her dress at the Yule Ball. So when he entered the kitchen and saw her sitting at the table he knew he had to find out how she felt.
The entire day went by so slowly and just as Ron's luck would have it, Hermione kept herself cooped up in Ginny's room all day. But as the end of the day approached and dinner was wrapping up, Ron saw his opportunity arise. Ginny and Harry, right after dinner, decided to go visit Teddy and Ron knew Hermione would be in Ginny's room. He knocked on Ginny's door and waited for Hermione to answer. She opened the door and Ron could tell immediately she'd been crying.
"Can we talk?" he asked, wanting to wrap her in his arms and never let go.
"Yeah, we really need to" she said. Hermione expected Ron would try something tonight, but she had to tell him.
"Hermione, are we together? I mean I know we kissed but. . . " Hermione drifted. She thought they were together, that kiss meant everything to her.
Flashback:
Everything rested on them, the war, the fate of Hogwarts, Harry's fate, all depended on destroying thknell. They had everything they needed, but as Ron and Hermion went to strike the cup a voice came put of it. It was a shrill voice, whispering all of Hermione's fears and nightmares. She began to lose her confidence. Hermione promised Harry to do whatever it took to kill it. She silently lifted the fang and with Ron's help slammed it down destroying it. A thick black smoke filled the air, and a screeching sound blared. Hermione jumped back, and tripped over a slab of stone. Once the smoke cleared, Hermione stood up and looked at Ron. His grin, from ear to ear, shone upon his face and she knew. He was her everything. And fortunately Ron drew the same conclusion and grabbed her by the waist. He brushed the hair from her face and kissed her. It was a simple, but passionate kiss, lingering on their lips.
Hermione managed to refocus on Ron.
". . .but it's your choice. I just want to know." he said looking at his hands. She loved the face he made once he was done talking. She could she his low self-esteem linger in his eyes as he bit down on his lip. She loved everything about him, the way he blushes when he's trying to have a serious conversation, the fact that he was like a giant teddy bear, and the way he makes her laugh. She couldn't imagine not being with him.
" Ron, I thought we were together. I love you." but this time it was Hermione's turn to blush and stare at her hands.
" I love you too, Hermione. I always have. And always will" he lifted her head and slowly leaned in to kiss her. But as her luck would have it, she fled to the bathroom, Ron trailing after her. While she was retching in the toilet, Ron held back her hair,and stroked her back.
" Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked, when she finally stopped puking and brushed her teeth.
" Nothing, stomach flu, I think." she answered and made her way back to Ginny's room.
" Oh, well as long as it isn't too serious." he sat on the bed beside her, he let out a huge sigh of relief and stretched as he placed his arm around her.
" What was that? Was that a move, Ronald Weasley?"
"No, I am just glad were together" his face red, he knew he wasn't as smooth as he wished he was. "You've kinda been ignoring me for the past few weeks, and I thought we were through. I'm just glad we aren't." He explained to her smiling. Hermione loved it when he smiled like that. She almost opened her mouth to tell him her secret, but she couldn't. It would break his heart, and would cause so many problems. For right now she just wanted to be with him and in the moment, for it wouldn't last much longer.
Then, as midnight neared, Harry and Ginny came home and Ginny walked in, smirking at them.
" Um, not to be rude but, Ron get out." Ginny said and pushed Ron towards the door.
"So how is Teddy?" asked Hermione, once Ron was out of the room.
" He's fine, growing. Looks just like his dad. So did you tell him?" she asked, lowering her voice at the end.
" No, I couldn't. He was worried that we weren't together anymore. When I told him that I love him, he looked so happy and relieved, I couldn't ruin that." She looked at Ginny. Hermione could tell that Ginny was disappointed.
"Hermione, you know he'd take care of you. And it." she said, nodding her head towards Hermione's belly.
"I know, but I'm scared."
"You need to go to a Healer. Just to make sure. I'll go with you." Ginny said, in her most comforting voice.
"Yeah, I know. Do you think we could go tomorrow?"
" We can try. I'll tell mum that we want to go shopping. And instead we make our way to St. Mungo's."
"Perfect" said Hermione. Ginny soon turned out the lights, and went to sleep. But Hermione laid on her bed, thinking about her future. She laid her hands across her stomach, thinking about the baby growing inside. She knew Ron would take care of them, but she didn't think everyone else would be as understanding. But Hermione closed her eyes and they all slept quietly through the night, for the first time in weeks.
It took a lot of energy to get Mrs. Weasley to let Ginny and Hermione leave the Burrow. She didn't want them wandering around aimlessly, so Ginny claimed they would be hanging mostly at George's shop. They left around nine, not even telling the boys bye. They apperated from the Burrow to St. Mungo's. Hermione just stood there, starring at the building. What she finds out today could change her future forever. Ginny reached towards Hermione and gently rubbed her shoulder.
" We have to go in. The faster you go in, the faster it wil be over with." Ginny said trying to comfort her friend. Hermione began to move her foot, slowly but surely, towards the entrance.
Once inside, Hermione went to the main desk, asking which direction the maternity ward was. A blonde nurse quickly pointed to the left, Hermione whispered a "thank you", grabbed Ginny, and walked. She made sure she was walking fast, she was afraid if she walked at normal pace that she'd chicken out. Once they reached the maternity ward's waiting room, she signed her name to the list and sat down next to Ginny. Hermione, starring constantly at the clock hanging directly above the nurse's station, watched as the seconds slowly ticked by.
"Hermione Granger?" a gray headed healer called her name and Hermione got up.
"Good luck," whispered Ginny. Hermione followed the healer, who introduced herself as Maggie, past several rooms, until they reached the one she'd be in.
Ginny sat silently in the waiting room, picking at her cuticles. It had taken all her strength not to tell Harry about this visit. She hated to keep him in the dark, but if Hermione's theory was correct, then he'd find out soon enough. But as Ginny thought of Harry her thoughts also roamed to Ron. He should be the one sitting here, he should be the one pacing back and forth, waiting to hear the fate of his girlfriend. But Ginny also knew that Hermione had her reasons for not telling him. She wouldn't have told Harry. But as Ginny began to imagine what that conversation would have been like, Hermione exited the hallway and made her way towards Ginny. Hermione tried to smile as she approached Ginny, tried to stay calm, but when she saw Ginny's face, Hermione's smile vanished and was replaced with tears.
They'd been in the Leaky Cauldron for almost an hour before Hermione could talk.
"So I guess this means you're gonna be a mummy?" Ginny asked slightly smiling. If she smiled maybe Hermione would also. Hermione only nodded and sipped her water.
"Ginny, I don't wanna tell Ron yet." she said running her finger around the rim of her glass, she couldn't look at Ginny.
"Hermione, don't you think he has the right to know? What if he's happy?"
"Yeah I'm sure he'll be really happy to know that he gets to be an eighteen year old father, and he didn't even get to do the act. Yeah he'll be thrilled." Hermione could see the hurt in Ginny's face.
"Ginny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I know you're just trying to look on the brightside but after the year I've had I doubt I'll ever think positive again."
"How far along are you?"
"Seven weeks." Ginny just looked at her. There was a baby growing inside of Hermione. An actual human being.
They left the Leaky Cauldron an hour after their talk and had to take the Knight Bus, which wouldn't take them far and they ended up walking most of the way. Which was perfectly fine with Hermione. She knew that as soon as she stepped into the Burrow, Harry and Ron would ask questions. But Hermione knew that Ginny wanted to be back, being away from Harry for an extended amount of time made her nervous. It's like she expects him to just vanish one day. But, as Hermione thought about it, Ginny had a right to feel that way. The sun was beginning to slowly sink behind the tree line and too soon the Burrow came into Hermione's line of vision. Part of her wanted to run straight into Ron's arms, to cry into his chest and tell him. But the other part of her, the more rational part, knew that she, herself couldn't process this news, how was Ron suppossed to?
They pissed him off. Ron spent the majority of his day pacing his bedroom, ranting to Harry, wondering what Hermione was keeping from him. They had left first thing this morning, not telling anyone where they were going (except his mum) and it hurt him. Why couldnt he be her partner in crime? Why is she pushing him away?
" Where do you think they went?" he questioned Harry, who was getting quite tired of Ron's pacing. Harry looked up over the edge of his Qudditch magazine to just shrug at Ron.
" Well you're a lot of help" muttered Ron, wiping the dust off his bedside table.
" Well, how am I supposed to know? Ginny told me just as much as Hermione told you"
" So nothing then?" Harry nodded and went back to reading. Harry understood why Ron was upset, but he honestly was glad Ginny was even speaking to him. He wasn't about to get all paranoid and accusing, it would ruin their relationship. So Ron was left to his pacing, walking from the window to the door, listening for any sound that she was back and that nothing was wrong. But in his life he knew better than to hope for such things.
Hermione could see the light in Ron's room lit, along with every other room in the house. She knew that the house was warm and filled with people who would take care of her and her baby. She couldn't understand why she was so scared. She had an amazing boyfriend, two of the best friends anyone could ask for, a very experienced mother(having seven kids definately qualified as experience), and several other people who would love her baby as much as she did. Because, even though Ron isnt the dad, Hermione loved the baby. It is her light in a dark place, a chance to start over.
"Hermione, we have to tell mum. She'll be able to help you with all the prenatal things. Plus with the fact that you can't apparate or Floo anywhere, she'll get suspicious." Hermione knew Ginny was right. The thought of telling Molly terrified her. She felt as though she was disappointing everyone. She was the one who always had it together. She always thought rationally and always saw the effect of her actions. But this time she was unsure of everytmotherland this time she wasn't the only one who would be affected.
" Yeah, we can tell her after dinner." and with that Hermione started up the path, into the only house she had ever truly called home.
Ron and Harry made their way down to the dinner table only to be welcomed by Hermione and Ginny already sitting there. Ginny got up and practically leaped onto Harry, encircling him in a hug, whispering in his ear. Hermione slowly got up and slide her arms around Ron, burying her face in his chest, her tears threatening to overflow. He ran his fingers up her back, lacing his other hand in her wild mane of hair. He knew something was wrong. It took all of his self-control to sit there during dinner, he wished so badly to wisk her away to his room. Just to hold her tightly until she spilled all her problems out to him, then he would spend the rest of his life trying to fix them. During dinner she kept her left hand on his knee, rubbing her thumb around in circles. She did this unintentionally, trying to mentally organize her thoughts, determining what she would say to Molly. But all too soon her moment had finally come.
After dinner, Hermione and Ginny stayed behind to help with the dishes. Once everyone had cleared out Hermione opened her mouth.
" Molly, can Ginny and I talk to you privately?" Hermione asked, wishing her voice wouldn't shake like it was.
Molly looked from Hermione to Ginny and nodded. She led them up the stairs to Ginny's room, closing the door.
" What's the matter, Dears?" Molly sat on the bed, looking expectantly at Hermione.
" I have something I must tell you. But it cannot be said to Harry or Ron. At least not right now." Hermione swallowed the lump which was forming in her throat. Molly nodded in agreement, so Hermione continued. " Two moths ago Ron found me in the hospital wing, the night of the battle. Ginny had put me there because Ginny had found me. . .um in need of help." Hermione took a breath it quivering as she once again began to speak. " Ginny had found me being raped." she stopped letting the words sink into Molly brain. Molly gasped at Hermione's words, knowing that something had gone on without her knowledge. " And now, two months later, I'm pregnant." the last word flew out of Hermione's mouth and she immediately flinched.
Molly's eyes locked upon Hermione's, Ginny stood quietly in the background, looking anywhere but at her mum. Molly slowly got off the bed and embraced Hermione in a tight hug. Hermione's tears fell freely now, landing on Molly's shirt. Hugging Molly reminded Hermione of her own mother, her mother didn't even know she had a daughter. Hermione had meant to bring them back from their excursion in Australia, but she knew they 'd be happier there. Mrs. Weasley stroked Hermione's hair, telling her how everything was going to be all right.
" Well then, we have a lot of preparations to make. I'm going to go look for my box of prenatal potions and spells. Trust me you'll need them." and Molly walked out the door with a smile on her face. Hermione and Ginny both stood there, their months hanging open in shock.
" She was happy?" Ginny said rubbing Hermione's shoulder.
" She's actually happy. Maybe this isn't a bad thing, Hermione." and Ginny left the room. Leaving Hermione, who was now rubbing her tummy, smiling down at the tiny bump that was beginning to form.