Shortly after Thane's death, Shepard learns that she is pregnant from their last tryst.
Then, something like the following:
Chakwas: Drell+Human pregnancies never make it to term because of [science]. You may as well end it now and save the trouble.
Shepard: this baby is all I have left of him, and I want to hold onto it for as long as I can.
Then angst, morning-sickness, crewmates knowing or not-knowing, etc.
Dr Chakwas words began to blur together. Shepard sat on the med bay bed, legs draped over the side. She looked down and fixed her eyes on her uncovered feet, sticking out from underneath the hospital gown.
She was so sure the test was wrong. It had to be. Maybe she was sick or something. Stressed. That had to have messed with her hormones. The only intimacy she had in the last 6 months was with her dying alien lover. A quick, bittersweet tryst. How could this have happened?
Chakwas was comming back into focus, bouncing from theory to theory, trying to come up for an explaination for how she could have been impregnated by a member of another species. Was this a once in a cycle occurance? Did Cerberus mess with her reproductive system when they rebuilt her? Were the galactic species evolving to allow cross species births, and she was the first?
Chakwas only seemed sure about one thing; the baby would not survive.
"I am sorry, Shepard" She said quietly, one hand resting on the slouched woman's shoulder. "My recommendation, as a doctor, is to terminate the pregnancy."
Shepard did not visibly react. Her eyes stared down at her feet.
"With everyone relying on you in this war, and the unknown implications of a cross species pregnancy, I can't see this having a happy ending, Commander. I do not believe this child will make it to term, given the differences in Biology not to mention the stress you will be under. I am sorry Shepard. I recommend termination."
Shepard's back straightened. She slowly lifted her head up to look Dr Chakwas in the eyes.
"No."
The toilet seat felt cool against the side of her face. She closed her eyes and let the nausea run it's course. She had just managed to lock the door to the female toilets before she dropped painfully to her knees and wreatched heavily into the dull steel bowl.
Shepard had been making her way to the mess to steal some of Vega's nachoes that she swore she could smell him cooking from up in the CIC. She was debating what sauce to use as she stood in the elevator, when a tiny jolt sent her from uncontrollably hungry to violently ill. It had been three weeks since she had used a whole packet of pregnancy tests and then rushed straight to Chakwas, completely expecting the doctor to laugh at her and tell her she had peed on the sticks wrong. Three weeks since her world had been turned upside down. Again.
She silently laughed to herself at the thought. Her life had been turned upside down so often, she had no idea what was the right way up anymore.
Chakwas had warned that pregnancy was usually a rough ride, something Shepard had already figured. But neither of them knew what a cross species pregnancy would be like. Shepard had nothing to compare it to, but she was surviving. She had told no one else in the crew, although she knew some of them suspected something. Tali had eyed her with suspicion in the war room when she caught Shepard resting her hand on her still flat stomach, vacantly staring off into the distance while the admirals squabbled over fleet numbers.
Garrus knew something was wrong. Once someone knows how to read you on a battlefield, they pick up on the subtle signs. But he also knew her well enough to know not to pry.
She didn't want them to know. Not just yet, at least. She knew there would come a day when she could no longer hide it. For now though, she was happy to have no one talking about it. It made her job easier.
The nausea had subsided enough for her to reach up and flush the toilet. She gingerly made her way over to the sink to wash her face and rinse her mouth out. Looking in the mirror, Shepard saw the heavy bags under her eyes. Her skin was pale, and her nose was red. At least she could blame it all on the stress of her job.
She straightened up and tried to make herself look presentable. Brushing her hair back and practicing a smile. Convincing herself she was feeling better, Shepard marched over to the door and opened it with what she hoped was the same amount of force and purpose she usually moved with.
The smell of Vega's lunch hit her like a biotic charge, and she sunk a little as she felt the saliva pool back into her mouth. Her head began to spin and her stomach churned.
She slammed the door shut again and fell to her knees before the sad, grey bowl.
At four months she was having trouble hiding it. Joker had bought her a hooded jacket when she came back onto the Normandy. Not usually her thing, but it's baggy front was a godsend these days. Her armor was beginning to press uncomfortably against her swollen belly during her missions. Right now it was piled up in the corner of the shower as Shepard stood naked with her forehead against the cool, steel wall. The water was cool, but she was still burning up.
She had just returned from Chronos station. Kai Leng was dead. Gutted like the pig that he was. She could see spatterings of his blood on her armour, slowly being washed away by the stray steams of water from the shower head. Down the drain it went.
The brutal death of a hated enemy would normally be a cause for celebration. But here she was, naked and alone. Filled with equal amounts of desire and despair. The desire burned through her in a way she had never imagined. Her hormones were electric and demanding. She could feel the relentless heat throbbing through her core as she stood under the cold shower, pining for her lover.
Shepard closed her eyes as hard as she could and tried to remember. She tried to think back to before she returned to earth. All those nights they spent together, panting and entwined in ecstacy. The feel of his skin against hers, the slight euphoria from his lips. The whispers in her ear, the feel of his fingers through her hair.
It was all so far away. Shepard opened her eyes and was greeted by the cold, emotionless grey of her bathroom wall. She needed that memory right now. God how she needed him. She remembered how he could slip back into his own memories, something she always felt would be uncomfortable. Oh how she envied him now.
Her hand fell on her stomach. She wished she could keep the memories and fall back into them. Of course, she wanted to remember Thane for their daughter. She deserved to know the type of man he was. But right now she needed the memory for herself.
She breathed deeply as her hands snaked down below her belly. Her eyes closed again as she abandoned her search for a glimpse of her former life. Instead she tried to think of him here. What would he say to her? Knowing she was carrying his baby, standing alone and wanting him so much it hurt.
He would be at the doorway, smirking at her. He would take her in his arms, brush the hair out of her face and gently kiss her. He would let his hands run down from her shoulders, to her breasts. Then to her belly, stopping to revere the miracle that she carried within her. He would let his hands slip further down, and gently part her legs. His skin would feel warm and playful as he stroked her, kissing her neck and whispering in her ear. He would tease her for a bit, keeping his pace slow and torturous.
But soon his pace would quicken. He would apply more pressure and kiss her more intensely. The electric jolts would all combine into one terrifying explosion and she would cry out his name desperately, repeatedly until she came back from the brink of the brilliant insanity that he brought her to.
The shower was too cold now. She had tried biting into her own hand to stop from calling out, but it didn't work. His name still echoed through the tiny room in her own quivering voice. Her legs were shaking and weak. Her head was a mess. Her thrashing had sent enough water splashing onto her discarded armor to leave no traces of blood.
She took a moment to compose herself, picked up the pieces of her hardsuit, and set them somewhere they could dry. She cleaned herself properly and dried off with the coarse military issue towels. Walking from the bathroom, she noticed the timer on her terminal. They would be at the relay to the Sol system in several hours. She had enough time to get some sleep, if it decided to come.
It would not be long now. One way or another, this would all be over soon.