Title: Property Of
Author: Bastard Snow
Rating: Er… 13? Something like that.

Summary: Dawn, Willow and Xander settle a bet.

Author's Note: Yeah. Again, a Drake-inspired fic. So thanks to him for that, and for beta'ing. He also tried to get me to be more realistic in my portrayal of the process, but I fought him at every turn. Because for a story, for comedy, I will utterly destroy facts.

Feedback: Yes, please!

Three intrepid warriors stood at the entrance to their destination. One was quietly determined not to be afraid. The other two were quivering in their not-so-metaphorical boots.

Xander Harris stood before the tattoo parlor and looked at his companions. "Are you guys sure we want to do this?"

Dawn looked up at him and glared. "We're doing this, Xander. We all lost the bet, we all follow through with it."

"Can't we just declare the bet null and void? I mean, no need to punish us all," he said.

"I'm with him," said Willow, looking at her two friends. "I just don't see the need."

"Guys," Dawn said, "we're doing it. End of story."

"When did she get so forceful?" Xander asked. "I think I liked her better when she was a shy little made-up thirteen-year-old."

"Come on!" Dawn said, grabbing their hands and dragging them closer to the shop.

"How do we know this place is safe? I mean, clean, and all that stuff?" Willow asked. "We could get tetanus."

"This is where Faith goes," Dawn said. "She said if we mention her name, we can get a frequent flyer discount."

Willow looked up at Xander. He shrugged, and together they followed Dawn inside.

Behind the counter, 'reading' a porno mag, was a very large man with many piercings and tattoos. Xander was afraid. The man swept the skin mag under the counter and smiled at them.

"Welcome to the Jim's Tattoos and Piercings," he said, smiling. "I'm Jim. What can I do for you?" The smile didn't make Xander feel any more comfortable. The guy looked like you could smash a 2x4 over his head, and he'd look around trying to find the fly that just hit him.

He was big, you see.

"Um… hi," Dawn said, staring at the monstrosity of a man in front of her. "We want tattoos?"

"Well, that's what we're here for," he said. "How'd you hear about us?"

"Our friend, Faith, said this is the place to go."

Jim cocked an eyebrow at them. "Y'all know Faith?"

"We kind of work with her," Xander said. "In a sort of… way."

"Th-the way in which we, you know… work in the same building?" Willow said.

Jim nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said, "that's usually how it happens. So, what do you guys want?"

"It's like this," Dawn said, releasing Xander's arm. "We had a bet. And we decided that whoever lost had to get a tattoo."

"Reasonable," said Jim.

"But there's more," Xander said. "The two other people would choose. One would choose what it was, and the other would choose where it would go."

"That could be fun," Jim said, nodding.

"There's more," said Willow. "Cuz… we all lost. And Dawn over there is sticking by the wording of the bet."

"Because it was a punishment imposed on the loser, not a reward to the winner," said Jim.

"Yeah," said Dawn. "You got that faster than most people do."

"I watch The Simpsons."

"Ah," said Xander. "The miniature golf episode."

Jim nodded. "So, each of you gets a tattoo, and the others decide what and where."

"Right," Dawn said. "That sound good?"

"Absolutely," he said. "Tell ya what. Since you're friends of Faith? I'll give you a discount."

"Hey, thanks," Xander said. "And we'll recommend you to all of our friends for their tattooing needs."

The man nodded. "Appreciate it. I'll need you to sign consent forms, first." He turned to Dawn. "You're eighteen, right, kid? Otherwise I'll need the consent of a guardian."

"I've been eighteen for almost two years," Dawn said, defiantly.

"Liar," Willow coughed. "Ooh. Wow. I seem to have something in my throat."

Dawn glared at her. "Fine," she said. "Two weeks."

"Whatever," Jim said, with a shrug, collecting the forms again. "Who's first?"

Willow took a deep breath and raised her hand. Jim looked surprised.

"Wouldn't've pegged you for the daring type."

Willow shrugged. "Wanna get it out of the way," she said. "Cuz then I get to enjoy the rest of the day while they're waiting in anticipation."

Jim grinned. "Lady, I like the way you think. I'll take you in the back and explain everything while these two decide what's to be done."

"I know what to give her," Xander said, grinning evilly.

"And I won't decide where until I know what it is," said Dawn.

Jim nodded. "Okay. Well, I'll just explain everything here, then," he said. "Saves me from havin' to do it three times."

Jim explained all of the procedures he'd go through, the health precautions he'd take, and how they should take care of their tattoos afterwards, so they wouldn't get infected. He reminded them that it was permanent, and gave them one last chance to get out.

"We can't," Dawn said. "It's a bet."

"Understood," Jim said. "So, if you guys will tell me what to put, and where, we'll get this started."

"Oh," Xander said. "Right. There was uh… one other thing. If it's against your policy or whatever, then that's cool, but… uh…"

"The other two get to watch," Dawn said. "That was in the bet."

Jim looked at them. "All right," he said, shrugging. "Your bet, your rules."

He led all three of them into the back, and had Willow get up in the chair.

"Okay," he said, looking at Xander. "What's it gonna be?"

Xander grinned. "A frog," he said. Willow's eyes shot wide open. She whimpered.

"Gotta face the fear sometime, Wills," he said.

Jim nodded. "Actually, a tattoo of something feared can be a powerful aid in overcoming it. I've had people get tattoos of what they were afraid of, just to prove it had no power over them."

"Okay," Willow said, putting on a brave face.

"Great," said Jim. He looked at Dawn. "Now. Where?"

Dawn pondered for a moment and smiled. "The inside of her thigh," she said.

"Dawn!" Xander and Willow shouted.

"What?" she said. "The bet said it could be anywhere!"

Willow sighed. Jim turned to her. "That okay with you?"

"Hey!" Dawn said. "It's a bet! She doesn't get any say."

"I don't ink anyone who doesn't want to be inked," he said.

"It's okay," Willow said. "I made a bet."

Jim nodded. "And this is always the awkward part. Are you um… trimmed? Or will I need a razor?"

Willow flushed red, a color Xander was doing his damnedest to match. "I… uh… no… no razor."

Jim nodded and prepared his tools.

Dawn grinned at Xander. He shook his head at her, but was barely able to conceal a smile.

"You're cruel," he said, as Willow pulled her skirt down to reveal her thighs. Jim frowned.

"If I'm gonna put it on the inside," he said, "you're gonna have to take the skirt off."

Willow closed her eyes for a second. She opened them and glared at Dawn. "Xander," she said. "I know we were going to switch off, but do you mind if I choose where Dawn gets her tattoo?"

"Not at all," he said.

Dawn opened her mouth to protest, but said nothing. She didn't really have a choice in the matter.

Willow grinned and pulled her skirt the rest of the way off. She tossed it to Xander and spread her legs.

"You don't seem surprised by any of this," Xander said as Jim began working.

"This ain't even the weirdest by far," he said, not taking his eyes off of Willow's thigh. "Hell, Faith's got some stuff in more intimate places."

"I'd pay to see that," Xander said.

"She'd probably let you," said Dawn.

"Dawn, that's mean," said Willow.

"What? I didn't mean like she's a slut. She just doesn't care about that stuff. Probably show you for free."

"Yeah, well, I like my life, so I'll not ask, thanks."

"Wuss," said Willow. She winced.

"Hurt?" Xander asked.

Willow nodded. "Not the most pleasant feeling in the world," she said.

"Can't be helped," said Jim. "After all, it's a needle plunging into your skin. Bound to be a little unpleasant."

They continued idle chatter through the entire process, asking Jim about some of his stories, telling a few of their own (although nothing about what they actually did at 'work'). When Willow was done, the tattoo was inspected by both Dawn and Xander and given their official seals of approval. Jim handed Willow a mirror so she could get a better look at it.

"Hey," she said. "That's kinda cute. And not at all terrifying."

"See?" Xander said, smiling. "Told you."

Willow grinned at him, stood up off of the chair and slipped back into her skirt.

"So," said Jim. "Who's next?"

"I'll go," Dawn said. "Let nobody say I was afraid of my own bet."

Jim turned to Xander. "So what's it going to be?"

Xander took a deep breath, and let it out. He looked at Dawn. "Now, you were really cruel to my best friend," he said, rubbing his chin evilly. "What to choose, what to choose…"

Dawn leveled a warning glare at him, and Xander grinned. "I've got it," he said, raising one finger in the air. "You know those old brass keys they use in all those movies?" Jim nodded. "Two of those, forming a cross."

Dawn grinned. "That's so sweet," she said. Xander inclined his head once, and turned to Willow.

"So," he said. "Where's it going to be?"

Willow glared straight at Dawn, who met her gaze and returned one just as solid.

"Right…" Willow started. She paused, and Dawn cocked one eyebrow. "Breast," Willow finished.

Dawn showed no reaction, but Xander's eye bugged out.

"Well?" Jim asked. "You up for it?"

Without taking her eyes from Willow, Dawn pulled her shirt up and over her head. Calmly and slowly, she raised her hands to her chest and unhooked the clasp between her breasts. She pulled the cups away, revealing her breasts for all who cared to see.

Interestingly, nobody looked away.

Dawn continued her eye-lock with Willow.

"I dare you," Dawn said, "to tell me they aren't perfect."

Willow kept her mouth shut, but was visibly reddening. Xander swallowed hard, once, then shook himself. He leaned over to Willow, opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it, and instead wrapped her in a hug and kissed her on the head. "I love you," he said, wiping a false tear from his eye.

Dawn glared at him. "Perv."

"Nah," he said. "Just male."

Willow shrugged. "Same thing."

Jim got to work. He worked with care, moving the needle around with experience and care. He was trying, he told Dawn, not to hurt her, but it was kind of a sensitive area. Dawn, to her credit, didn't wince nearly as much as Willow. And when Jim was done, Dawn held her breast up for inspection.

"What do you think?" she asked, without so much as a hint of embarrassment.

"It um… looks good," said Willow.

Dawn grinned. "Which part?"

Willow reddened, and Dawn took mercy on her and put her shirt back on, stuffing her bra into her jeans.

"Last one," Xander said. "Can't back out now."

"You can always back out," Jim said.

"Oh no," Xander said. "I may be scared, but what manly pride I have left won't allow it."

"Fair enough," said Jim. "So, what's this young man gonna get?"

"I think," Dawn said, "that we should both agree on what it is, and where it is. Since we both only picked places…"

Willow was still too embarrassed to do anything except nod.

Dawn and Willow put their heads together and whispered.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" he asked Jim.

"Dunno," said Jim. "Two ladies, who obviously aren't above a little mischief, deciding what to permanently engrave somewhere on your body. Can't see how that might scare you."

"Thank you," Xander said. "Very comforting."

"Okay," said Dawn, a minute later. "We've decided. Jim, do you have a piece of paper?"

Jim cocked an eyebrow at them. "Why?" he asked.

"We want to write down what tattoo he's getting," Willow said. "It's going to be a surprise."

"Wait a second," Xander said. "I don't want any surprises. I get veto power, remember? Jim said so. And anyway, it's not like I won't know where it's going… wait, where is it going?"

"On your ass," said Dawn.

Xander blanched and shuddered. "Fine," he said.

"Them's the rules," said Jim. "Let me go get a razor."

"Won't need it," Xander said.

Jim looked confused. "But I usually –"

"Won't need it," Xander repeated as Willow and Dawn snickered.. "Don't ask."

Jim laughed. "All right. So what's it going to be?"

Xander glared at his friends. "I still get to approve."

Willow looked at Dawn, who nodded. Willow grinned. "We'll show you our tattoos again," she said.

Xander stared at the two women for a moment, then closed his eye and groaned. "I'm going to Hell," he said. Then he waved one finger in a circle, telling them to continue. Dawn again bared her breasts for his viewing pleasure, and Willow exposed her thighs.

Xander shook his head, groaned, and flipped over, pulling his pants and boxer shorts down.

"Further," Dawn said. Xander slumped down a little, but complied. Dawn inspected his butt with pleasure. "Now that," she said, "is a nice ass."

Willow handed the piece of paper to Jim who looked at it, shook his head, and began working.

"This is going to be bad for me," Xander said. "I can tell."

"Oh, don't worry," Dawn said, kissing Xander's forehead. "We would never harm prime real estate like that."

Willow giggled. "Yeah," she said. "It wouldn't be wise for our… investment."

The two of them broke down into a fit of giggles.

"Jim?" Xander said.

"Yeah?" Jim asked, pausing his work for a moment.

"Am I going to be regretting this in thirty years?"

Jim looked up, and at the two girls again, then at Xander. "Nah," he said. "This one you'll like."

Xander smiled and relaxed. When, eventually, Jim was done, Willow and Dawn inspected his work, and greeted it with applause.

"Can I see?" Xander asked.

Jim shrugged. "Don't know how," he said. "But you're welcome to try."

Xander stood up and tried his best to get a look at his butt, but all he saw was a glimpse of green.

"Hold on," Dawn said. "I've got a digital camera."

"Uh uh," Xander said. "No way am I letting a digital anything get near my butt. I don't want this ending up on the Internet."

"Oh please," Dawn said. "I tell you what, just so you feel safe, I'll take a picture of my boob, too, okay?"

Xander squinted his eye, but nodded. Dawn dug into her purse to retrieve her camera, then lifted her shirt yet again, and snapped a picture of her breast. Xander turned his back to her, and allowed her to photograph his tattooed buttock.

"Here," Dawn said, handing the camera to Xander. "You take a look and settle up, we're gonna go check out the Wet Seal next door. Meet you over at Best Buy in half an hour?"

Xander looked at his watch. "Sure," he said. "But we gotta get back soon. I'm on phone duty tonight."

"Okay," Willow said. "See ya soon."

Xander nodded and waved goodbye. He handed Jim his credit card and checked out the pictures on the camera.

"Wow," Xander said. "That's… actually kind of cool."

"Yeah," Jim said. "Kinda symbolic. Mind if I…?"

"Not at all," Xander said. He handed the camera to Jim, who looked at the display screen. There, in full color, was Xander's ass. On it was a tattoo of the sun coming up over a lush, green hill with a billowy but oddly colored tree on it. Above it were written some words.

"Property Of," Xander said. "A Summer Dawn and a red Willow. I can think of worse things."

Jim handed him the camera and his card, and Xander signed the receipt, and accepted a couple of pamphlets about caring for the tattoos, and a couple of tubes of Vitamin E to put on the tattoos. Xander nodded his thanks and waved goodbye.

"Hey," Jim said. "You know she can just delete her picture and do whatever she wants with yours, right?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah," he said. He popped a panel on the camera and pulled the memory card out, and slipped it into his shirt pocket. "But not if I have the card."

Jim smiled. "What are you gonna do with that?"

Xander grinned at him. "Whatever I want."

Xander left the store and walked across the parking lot, whistling happily the whole way.

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The End