Title – Late lunch
Fandom: Hercules: The legendary journeys
Author: Ceindreadh
Genre: Humor
Characters/Pairing: Hercules/Iolaus
Rating: NC-15
Summary: Another day, another fight, but Iolaus has more important things on his mind!

Word count: ~ 650
Disclaimer. I don't own the characters, I'm only borrowing them, no copyright infringement is intended.

Hercules punched one of the bandits in the face, sending the man somersaulting backwards. A second bandit who had had the idea of sneaking up on Hercules received a backward kick that sent him careering towards a few of his friends knocking them down.

Hercules spun around and grabbed an arm, pulling it and its owner around sharply before letting go, watching in satisfaction as the man ended up in a pool of muddy water. Taking a deep breath, Hercules turned to the side of the road, where Iolaus was perched on top of a rock. "Little help here?"

Iolaus took a bite from the pastry he had in his hands. "I'm eating here," he said through a mouthful of crumbs. "Besides, you look like you have it under control." He nodded towards Hercules's right hand side. "Incoming."

Without even looking, Hercules reached out and grabbed the man who was running towards him, and shoved him in Iolaus's direction where Iolaus, without missing a bite, kicked him soundly in the face, sending him crashing to the ground.

"Now, Iolaus?"

Iolaus sighed theatrically and crammed the remains of the pastry into his mouth before jumping down to the ground, wiping his hands on his vest as he joined Hercules in the fray.

"You know I'm going to get indigestion," Iolaus grumbled as he took up his usual position, back to back with Hercules. "It's not good for me, rushing my food like that."

"Next time we get attacked," said Hercules, "I'll ask them to wait until you've finished eating." The two men circled around as the bandits regrouped and started advancing towards them.

"And fighting on a full stomach, that's not good either," added Iolaus.

"Funny, all the times we've fought together," said Hercules, "I'm pretty sure most of them were on a full stomach, and it never bothered you before. Maybe you're getting old."

"Now wait a minute," said Iolaus, indignantly as he turned to face Hercules. A bandit took advantage of his momentary distraction and ventured close enough to hit Iolaus in the back with a staff, sending him staggering forward. Hercules turned just in time to catch Iolaus before he fell. "We'll finish this conversation later," said Iolaus as regained his balance.

"Fine by me," said Hercules as he turned Iolaus around and shoved him gently back into the fray.

Later, when the bandits had beat a hasty retreat, and – Hercules hoped – had learned a salutary lesson about attacking apparently defenceless travellers, he and Iolaus continued on their journey. Iolaus had complained long and loudly about the rudeness of people who interrupted other people while they were eating. He'd complained even more when they'd discovered that one of bandits in his haste to escape had trampled the bag containing the remainder of the pastries.

"No," said Hercules, as they'd picked up the rest of their belongings. "Keti gave us those pastries as thanks for fixing her roof. We are not going back to her village just to get some more. She'll go out of business if she keeps giving you free food."

"Spoilsport," muttered Iolaus under his breath as he slung his carry sack over his shoulder. "You know," he added, as they walked down the road. "Maybe I'm not the only one getting old. I seem to remember a time when you could handle a group of bandits by yourself, without needing my help." He patted Hercules gently on the shoulder. "You just have to pace yourself a bit better."

"Very funny," said Hercules. "Yes, I could easily have dealt with them on my own..." He paused for a second before continuing, "But I like it better when I don't have to." He wrapped his arm around Iolaus's shoulders, pulling him close.

"Me too, Herc," said Iolaus.

"Come on," said Hercules. "Keti said her sister has a bakery in Hellespont. How about we see if she's having trouble with her roof."

"Best idea you've had all day!"

The end