Hello! This is The American Psycho, with a new story after what seems like forever. As i'm putting the finishing touches on this, it's about 4 in the morning, so i apologize for any spelling errors that you may find. That's all i'm going to say for now, please enjoy! Let me know in a review if you think i should continue it or leave it as a one-shot, thanks!

Oh, and the links to the outfits will be in my profile, if you're interested in seeing what i'm talking about.

Since i have put this up, i have added polls for pairings on my profile. Please vote, or the characters will be at my mercy.

Toodles!

~The (Incredibly Tired) American Psycho

"Do you mind, darling?" Crowley asked, feeling the Winchesters attempt to summon him.

"Do I have to? I mean, from what i've heard they think they're entitled to everything. Everyone says dealing with them is so aggravating," I sigh as I lounge in a leather chair situated across the room from him, by the window (lovely view of hellfire and tortured souls, by the by), with my favorite hellhound, Persephone, curled up by my feet.

"And you don't think I know that?!" Crowley snarks at me, "I'm the one who deals with Moose and Squirrel," he grimaces before putting on his version of an innocent smile. "Please, dear?"

"Ugh," I roll my eyes, running a hand through my curly (somewhat frizzy) brown locks. "You owe me a big one, daddy dearest." With that, I flick my wrist to answer Crowley's summoning, finding myself in what, a dungeon?

There was the mandatory devil's trap, of course, but the whole demon-proof chains deal was new to me- I'm very curious to see if they'll actually work on me. My black eyes (not fully black, mind you, they look like normal human eyes) with the irises flecked amber flick up from examining my surroundings to the people standing in front of me- Sam and Dean Winchester.

"I can really see why he calls you Moose," I smirk, laughing shortly and sinking gracefully into the wooden chair placed behind the boring wooden table. It was rather uncomfortable, so i flicked my wrist, changing it into a leather chair like I have in hell, and kicked my feet up onto the table.

"I thought we summoned Crowley," the Moose whispered to Squirrel, giving me a bitchface. Whatever they were expecting, it certainly wasn't a twenty something year old woman with wild brown hair and strange eyes.

"Hi, demon of sorts here, I can hear you, by the way," I smile sarcastically, giving a small wave. "And yes, you did, but my *ahem*, colleague, has more important matters than the Winchesters to attend to at the moment, so you get me to deal with instead."

Squirrel pulled a knife from inside his jacket to attempt to threaten me, or something. "Who the hell are you, then, princess?"

I threw back my head, laughing. "Right on the money, Squirrel! Colour me surprised, damn." I took this moment to leap onto the table, snapping myself into a bloodred ballgown with a slit up to the thigh, ensemble complete with matching strappy heels, my hair going into an elaborate updo, topped off with a golden tiara burning with hellfire(1). I curtsy from atop the table, smirking at the Winchesters' stunned faces. "Princess of Hell, at your service, although i'd prefer if you didn't really take me up on that." I flick my wrist, momentarily vanishing, only to reappear back in the leather chair, feet propped up on the table, in the same outfit as before- ripped black jeans, black combat boots, and a red crop top that showed off a few of my old battle scars (the ones on my arms and torso, if you didn't get that already), with the only change being the tiara, now perched crookedly on my hair, which was now flowing down to the small of my back.(2)

I have to admit, it was kind of hilarious, watching both of them falter for a few minutes, before spouting out entirely different things at the same time.

"Princ-"

"How-"

"Of HELL-"

"Devil's trap!"

Really, you couldn't hear yourself think if you tried with both of them going on shouting like that. So, I flicked my wrist, casting a wandless, wordless Silencing Spell on both of them, and they went on for another good minute before realizing they weren't making any noise. Their faces were priceless.

"One at a time, boys. I can assure you, I have plenty of time. Crowlers has made sure of that," I scowl, "Alright, you first, Squirrel, since you've got pretty eyes. One question, for now, and make it good- I get bored easily." I cancelled the spell on him, leaving it on Moose, who shot me yet another bitchface.

"Alright, you said you're the princess of freakin' hell, yeah? How the hell does that happen?! I mean-" I flicked my wrist, silencing him again.

"Yes, keep up," I state, getting glares from both of them as I turn my attention from Squirrel to Moose. "Don't give me those looks," I mock acting offended, "I did say one question from him, for now, and i did answer that question. He asked, "You said you're the princess of freakin' hell, yeah?"" I mock his gravelly tone. "And I said, "Yes, keep up." Am I in the wrong, Mr. Pre-Law?"

Moose looks terribly shocked that i mentioned that, attempting to talk (unsuccessfully, of course), and looking a lot like a fish gasping for air.

"Okay, okay, you may speak now, but remember, be careful with your phrasing, unlike the ever idiotic Squirrel here," I smile sweetly, ignoring the glare from said idiot.

Moose purses his lips, looking at Squirrel, considering his question, I suppose. He looks back towards me, and I flick my wrist, giving his speech back.

"How are you doing this? Silencing us, changing clothes, teleporting, changing the chair..?" He lets the rest of what he's saying trail off as I think of how to answer, while Squirrel just stood there and rage-pouted (little did he know, I took off his Silencing Spell at the same time as Moose). It wouldn't do to give the whole backstory, no, not yet, where's the fun in that? They didn't even have my name yet. I decided to settle with a vaguely truthful answer as I made a dramatic exit. After all, as hilarious as the pair were, I had better things to do.

"Why, didn't you know Sammy?" I stand up while he looks confused, stepping around the table and casting two modified body binding hexes (Petrificus Totalus), so they couldn't move from where they were, but stayed upright. Now, I was at the very edge of the devil's trap, and I watched their eyes dart around, wondering both what the hell had happened to them, and what the hell was I going to do? I have to say, it was quite amusing. I stepped over the edge of the devil's trap, watching their eyes widen, and put a hand on each of their chests. I leaned close to Moose, going up on tiptoes to have my lips brush against his ear. "It's magic, darling," I was sure to add just enough sarcasm to make sure he thought I was lying before snapping into the main room of wherever we were (a bunker?). I grinned, thinking of how great the reaction would be when they discovered the nice surprise I was going to leave them.

I raised my finger, employing a technique similar to that of the late Tom Riddle, writing words in fire, left to hang in the air.

I'll be seeing you soon, boys ~The Princess

I smiled, pleased with my work. I took a final look at my handiwork and snapped, simultaneously vanishing and cancelling the spell on the boys.

"Such a drama queen, aren't we?" Crowley tutted at me.

"You're just jealous," I grin, "Aren't ya, Crowlers?" I fall out of my chair, laughing, while he scowls, making Persephone whimper.

"I believe you said you were over calling me that," he attempts to act indifferent (unsuccessfully).

"Never, daddy dearest!" I shout defiantly.

"You should have seen their faces," I cackle, changing the subject, "Brilliant, I tell you! Squirrel's a riot, just like you said, and Moose! His hair is majestic as fuck, by the way, and his bitchfaces are even better! You should really send me to deal with them more often. Oh! And i left a nice memo of my visit too."

"And what might that have been?" Crowley raises an eyebrow at me.

"It might've involved floating fire writing," I giggle.

"Wonderful," he cracks a grin.

"I know! The best part is it won't disappear for at least a week!"

Both of us sit there, cracking up not-so-quietly for a few minutes.

"Hermione, you'll be the end of me, now shoo! I have work to do; go torture some particularly awful souls or something," he suggests, which is really not a suggestion for me. I do what i want, you see. Crowlers doesn't really care, as long as I don't start an Apocalypse or something.

Sorry for the abrupt ending.

As i said above, outfits, marked (1) and (2) are links on my profile

Please vote on my profile for pairings!

If there's any questions, i'll answer reviews in the next chapter (if you think i should continue) or i'll shoot you a PM

MMkay bai