Phil straightens his hair in the mirror, tilting his head to the side. That'll have to do.
He can't really believe that he's doing this. He's really going to go to a gay bar for a while now, just to… explore? He isn't sure. Just wants to find out more about the side of his sexuality that doesn't involve girls, which has been kinda neglected since… well, since forever.
He goes to the hallway, putting on a coat and stuffing his phone and keys into his pockets, pausing as he hears the sound of Dan, his roommate and best friend, editing a video in their living room. He should probably tell Dan he's going out, at least, so that Dan doesn't freak when he finds out he's been left alone in the apartment later.
"Dan!" Phil calls hesitantly.
"Hmm?"
"I'm going out, 'kay? See you in a few hours!"
Phil starts moving quickly down the stairs to their front door, really hoping Dan doesn't ask awkward questions.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
No such luck. He hears Dan coming out of the living room to see him. Then he just stands on the landing, looks Phil up and down and raises an eyebrow knowingly. Damn them being friends for so long.
"And where exactly are you going, without me, dressed like that, Phil?"
Phil hesitates. He doesn't want to admit it to Dan. He's not sure if he's comfortable with admitting what he's actually doing to himself, let alone to someone else.
"Is it a secret date I'm not allowed to know about?" Dan asks, leaning closer and looking pointedly at the shirt Phil chose to wear. It's not one he usually wears for everyday occasions or just meeting friends.
"N-no..." Phil stutters, taking a couple of steps back up towards Dan without thinking.
Dan just pouts at him and gestures for him to continue his explanation. Phil never was good at denying those brown eyes anything, anyway.
"Fine. But if I tell you then you have to promise not to laugh!"
"Where are you going that you're so worried about?" Dan asks, tilting his head curiously.
Deep breaths Phil. He's your friend. He won't be a dick about it. Oh no, wait, this is Dan, master of sarcasm and sass, and this would be such an easy opportunity for him to take the piss. But he usually is actually good if he knows that it's serious, and not just an opportunity for teasing. And it could be useful to have someone to talk to about it afterwards, however it goes…
"I'm going to a bar."
It comes out quickly, Phil watching Dan for a reaction, but then realising he left out the key word: 'gay'. Oops.
Dan's face splits into a grin.
"Awesome! Give me a minute and I'll come too," he says cheerily, striding off towards his room.
"No!" Phil shouts, squeaking and covering his mouth when he realises how loud that was. "I mean… I don't think you want to come," he tries to repair.
"We haven't been out for ages, Phil. It's about time for another club night!" Dan says, voice trying to be teasing and confident, but it's easy to hear the confusion, hurt too, that Phil doesn't want him. They are best mates after all.
"I don't think it's really your kind of place," Phil says, going back up all the way to the landing so he's on a level with Dan, who approaches cautiously from the other end of the hall.
"Why not?"
"It's a gay bar," Phil spills out, not sure whether he should try catching the words before they fall out, but he's too late anyway.
He holds his breath as Dan freezes, eyes widening slightly, but only for a second before he's moving, walking right at Phil and putting his hands on his shoulders, staring him right in the eyes.
"You sure?"
Phil nods, avoiding Dan's gaze until Dan squeezes his shoulders, making him look up.
Dan doesn't seem to be gearing up to be a sassy bitch yet, which Phil is grateful for. Dan has always known about him being bi, and he's totally cool with it, didn't even think it was really worth knowing about, almost. He just laughed and told Phil as long as he didn't jump him, he was fine with whatever Phil wanted to shag, before adding in the subclause 'as long as it's within our own species. No animal weirdness'. Typical Dan.
"Phil… Those places can be dodgy. Why not just go to a normal bar and meet a guy like that, and then I can come with you and we can try and pull together?"
"Because," Phil says, shrugging Dan's hands off, though the brunette doesn't move back. "Because I'm sick of the girls attention, which is mostly for you anyway, while I sit sadly in the corner," Phil ignores Dan's frown and pout that he knows means Dan wants to contradict him, and ploughs on instead, "and so I want to see what it's like being with a guy for once and it's so much easier when you go to a place where the sexual orientation of everyone there is pretty much guaranteed."
"I don't want you going there alone," Dan says bluntly. "Are you meeting someone there? Someone you already know?"
"No," Phil says hesitantly. It's true that it would be better to go out with someone, but none of his friends are 'that way inclined', none that he's close enough to, both emotionally and geographically, so he just decided to go it alone.
Dan stares at him for about a minute straight, clearly thinking. Phil fidgets under his gaze, scratching at his arms and shifting his weight until Dan whirs into action again.
"Stay there, exactly there, until I come back. Don't you dare go anywhere," Dan says threateningly, pointing at the spot of floor Phil's standing on, disappearing into his room.
"What?" Phil asks incredulously. He seriously loves Dan, but he acts so weird sometimes.
It only takes maybe two minutes of waiting impatiently before Phil sees Dan re-emerge from his room, hair brushed and dressed in his 'going out' clothes, which makes Phil look questioningly at him.
"I'm coming with you," Dan says by way of explanation, swinging a coat around his shoulders and pushing past Phil to get to the stairs.
It takes Phil a second of processing Dan's sudden change of attitude before he spins and follows him down the stairs.
"What?! You were telling me how much you hated the idea just now!"
"Yeah, well, maybe I can turn some hot lesbians while you're finding some hunky bloke to get it on with," Dan says, unlocking their door and pulling it open, grinning at Phil. There's something off about his smile, not quite reaching his eyes. That's not his real reason, Phil knows.
"They won't do that, and also, if that were true, you would still be trying to persuade me to go to our usual club and hope for the best," Phil says, poking Dan in the shoulder to make him look back before they leave the apartment.
Dan turns, poking Phil back with a pout, hesitating before he answers.
"Phil. Please don't make me admit how much I really care for you and want you to be happy so you can go to some seedy bar to pick up guys, which is really not my style, but I want you to be safe and I am worried for you so I also won't let you go alone so that I can make sure that you are okay whilst following your dreams of touching some guy's dick while I desperately try to work out how many STDs you will get from him and fighting off the more disgusting ones whilst possibly being a wingman for you with the ones I approve of in pursuit of your eternal happiness," Dan says clearly, looking right at Phil, who feels the breath catch in his throat. Dan isn't really one for saying how much he cares, so for him this is… really…
"Plus maybe we'll get to see some actual lesbian chicks making out, "Dan adds, with a knowing wink and cheeky smirk.
Phil sighs, hitting Dan in the arm, but pulling him in for a hug before the noise of protest can leave Dan's lips, holding him tight. Sometimes he thinks how much they've both changed since they met each other. Dan was just a gangly seventeen year old, trying to finish his A-levels, and Phil had already finished one university degree and was starting a postgrad to help him work on the YouTube videos he'd been making even before then. Dan had just watched Phil online and wanted to meet him, despite living hundreds and hundreds of miles away from each other. And now they were best friends, flatmates, and co-workers. And so much more to each other than there were words for.
"Thank-you," Phil murmurs, Dan's hair tickling the side of his face.
"Anytime," Dan says squeezing Phil back.