The day DARU made much badness

by C-Puff

A robot know as the D.A.R.U. Destroy And Retrieve Unit Comes to Earth and basically demolishes the place. Dib wants his planet Saved and Zim wants to destroy the planet himself. Just your typical Zim and Dib reluctant team up Story

Hey all! Gah this took way longer than it should've considering it's size xX

Anyway, This is my first Invader Zim Fic and although probably not the most original plot line ever I hope you'll still enjoy it as a light read 83

Sorry for lack of chapters but I've divided the paragraphs to at least have some structure. I may chapterise it later if it bothers people.

Also, ALthough there is no ZADR in this fic if you're a fan of it feel free to twist it that way XD I really have nothing against it 3

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Space.

Picture it for a moment.

An endless ocean of stars, dotted with worlds and planets like uncharted islands, some inhabited by the most amazing, intelligent, beautiful, cunning and cruel beings that I wouldn't dare make up. Some so distant and alone they have no idea that they are just a metaphorical drop in a vast river of cultures and backgrounds some of which a person couldn't even dream of.

And somewhere, lost among the galaxies and nebulas there is the ship 'The Massive' the finest of all galactic starships, slowly roaring through the void, flanked by thousands of tiny destroyers. The masterpiece of technology sailing forth to where-ever interest and priority take it.

But the ship we should focus on isn't this Ziggurat of irken science. No the ship we need to focus on is very different.

Nothing near the grandeur of The Massive, it was clear it had not been built with vast intergalactic conquest in mind. If this ship was to approach a planet its inhabitants would probably hardly notice, and in that lay its efficiency. Because this ship carries in its bowels a deadly force, independent of the ship itself. This ship doesn't need to charge forward ready to pulverize. No. All it needs to do is silently approach, and deliver its cargo. After that, all that is needed is patience. Many times all the stricken planet would remember is the carnage left behind, not even aware the ship was ever there.

No-one knows who the creators of this deadly approach are, but no-one has ever really made the effort of finding out. Any-one who could come up with something so ingeniously simply and ruthless are not a people the rest of the galaxy would like to get to know better. You could almost imagine them planning and calculating as they lay awake at night.

But although all else is a mystery, there are two facts that is known by all who have heard of them and their methods. The first is that when they want something, they will not ask for it first, they will take it. And not stop until they have it. The second is that they tend to leave the larger, more successful alien races alone.

But then, the larger, more successful races have never had anything they needed.

But this was one of the many things the galaxy didn't know.

---

The second one hit him in the head. Zim glared across the class with as much vengeance written on his face as he could manage without making a scene for the second time today. Dib smirked at him from behind the straw and shot another spitball at him. The little bastard wasn't even trying to be sneaky about it! Zim glowered at him.

"Zim!"

"YES?!" He swung around to find a very angry, ancient face a mere few inches from his own.

"Nice of you to join us Zim! Now if you'd be so kind as to answer the question so we can get on with our miserable lives?"

Zim blinked. He hadn't a clue what Miz Bitters had just asked him. To be honest he hadn't been listening to a single word the whole lesson. And the teacher was towering over him so much he couldn't see anything that might have been written on the blackboard to give him a hint. He could almost feel Dib sneering at him in satisfaction. Damn him.

But he'd have to wait. Miz Bitters was the only thing in this universe worth any attention at this moment.

He tried remembering anything he might've picked up, but to no use. Eventually he decided to settle for an inspired guess;

"Doom?"

Miz Bitters continued to loom over him for a few seconds.

"Nice to se you paying attention for once Zim." She said before returning to her seat.

Zim would've sworn he heard angels sing but he didn't know what an angel was.

Dib was giving him a jaundiced look. He shot him a grin in return.

Dib opened his mouth to start something but he was interrupted by the bell.

The class stampeded towards the cafeteria.

Zim took advantage of this to put some distance between him and his adversary. He really didn't feel like hearing whatever Dib had wanted to yell at him.

The cafeteria brought forth the usual humdrum of chaos he'd grown use to. The filthy earth children had already formed their different social groups as if an invisible obsessive compulsive hand had reached down and sorted them into specific categories. He grabbed his tray, loaded it with a various assortment of random food he knew he wasn't going to eat and found himself an empty table.

He started his usual ritual of poking the disgusting slop in a way he hoped was convincing.

But his chance of a quite lunch wasn't likely to happen.

"You were lucky today Zim but you're luck won't hold forever!" Said an apparition in front of him.

"I have no idea what you mean." Zim said waving a fork in the air.

"HAH!" Dib smacked his hands down on the table. "You think you're so smart!"

"Yes. Yes I do actually." Zim said.

"Well….! ….You're not….!" Dib retorted. Rather lamely.

"I may not be a bio-tech engineer Dib human, but I am defiantly smarter than your pathetic little planet! The irkens were building computers before the first human monkey fell out of his tree! Oh he we built!" He waited to see what effect this would have. Not the one he'd hoped for.

"And yet you still haven't been able to conquer us tree-fresh monkeys!" Dib smirked.

"I've just been stalling while I work on an amazing plan is all!" Zim snapped.

"Yeah?! And what would that be huh?!"

"Oh you just wait filthy tree-faller! You will be so amazed by my plan! So amazed that you will weep when you think of how you tried to stop me in the past!"

They glared at each other.

"Oh yeah?! Dib yelled and slapped the 'meatloaf surprise' into his face before running away.

Good thing for Zim the meatloaf surprise doesn't have any meat in it.

"You just wait Dib! I'll show you you…you…Stinky Pig stink!!"

He grabbed something off his plate to chuck back.

Unfortunately the sandwiches defiantly have meat in them.

Somewhere far above this miniature intergalactic war, something was approaching the wet rock we know as Earth. The ship slowly circled the moon, finding the best vantage point from which it would deliver its package.

No-one noticed it.

No-one ever does.

---

"Stupid, filthy, disgusting, annoying, pig DIB!!" Zim cursed as he rubbed his throbbing hand. "Well, he may have won this time but Vengeance shall be mi-ine!" He shook his fist in the air.

After a while he sopped and went back to nursing his hand.

"Still, I am becoming annoyed by his constant interference. I shall have to get rid of him soon!" He said to himself, as if the idea of getting rid of Dib had never crossed his mind before.

Some-one hammered on the stall door.

"Hey!! Are you making dooky in there or what?! Some kids out here hafta go too ya know!"

Zim growled.

He kicked open the bathroom stall door getting much satisfaction when it smacked the door-hammerer in the face, bloodying his nose.

He goose-stepped his way out of the bathroom and back to the hallway.

"Perhaps if I fuse him with a slice of bread I can get pigeons to eat him." He continued.

The plan was stupid but it made him feel a little better to picture Dib in something of a Hitchcock movie.

"Maybe I can change his gargantuan head into a very large ice cream cone…" He continued as the bell rang for class. "...and leave him in the horrible Earth sun." He grinned to himself as he pushed open the door that led back to the classroom.

"That would be neat."

---

The ship had reduced its power, using only enough to keep it in the air. It wasn't going to need much for what it was about to do. The only real power-absorption was from the planetary scanners that were slowly making silent sweeps across the globe. Thin invisible tendrils, streaking across the surface of the blue sphere. Searching, probing. Seeping into crevasses and stroking the tops of sky-scraper. Gathering the information they'd been designed to track down.

The reports they sent back kept flashing across the control screens deep in the ship.

Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

So far it didn't look too promising. The unknown occupants had reached the point where a deadline had been placed. A few more days of searching, if they didn't find their prize by then, they'd have to move on and look for more promising hunting grounds. But they weren't getting frustrated. This was all part of the routine for them.

A single report came back from one of the probes. It flashed across one of the screens, a single word in green among thousands in red.

Positive.

The scans slowly diminished. The probes died down.

The ship hummed as it hung in empty space, preparing itself for the next move.

---

Arts and crafts.

Probably the only lesson in the whole school day that Zim, if not enjoyed, at least didn't feel horrendously bored in. Of course Dib always made sure he was at the same desk as the invader and tried to make his life as miserable as possible. Today they were supposed to paint a scene depicting how they see the world in 10 years time. Dib was contemplating all the strategic possibilities paint offered as a weapon. Zim was trying to figure out what colour to paint Dib's guts in his picture.

Dib had finally decided on his next move. He dipped one of the thicker paintbrushes into the navy blue. Once it was dripping wet in the goo, he bent his wrist back and took aim.

He flicked the piece of wood sending a bullet of liquid through the air which delivered a double whammy by smacking Zim between the eyes and then ricocheting tiny shrapnel droplets all over Zim's, for lack of a better word, artwork.

Dib had hoped the paint might have a chemical reaction to his skin, but the outburst that followed was almost just as good.

"You rotten filthy earth maggot!" Zim practically exploded. "You dare to attack me with pigmented alkalines?!!" He punctuated his sentence by swinging his own brush, sending an arc of red which streaked across Dib's face and clothes.

Zim laughed triumphantly, navy paint still dribbling down his face.

"You shouldn't let your guard down so easily Zim!" Dib yelled.

He let fly another missile of paint. His taunt had caught Zim by surprise and the alien was unfortunate enough to open his eyes just as the dark blob hit him.

What followed consisted mainly of Zim rolling around on the ground screaming his fool head off in pain.

"Dib!" Came the cantankerous yell from the teacher's desk. "What have I told you about using paint in an argument?! Unless you want to spend the rest of the day cleaning the class with an ear bud I suggest you cut it out and get that desk in order!"

"Yes Miz Bitters" Dib sighed.

He went over to the sink to clean himself up. The world blurred as he took off his glasses to wash the paint off of them, but his hearing worked fine on its own. So when a green and navy smear pulled itself upright and spoke he heard every whispered word perfectly.

"Enjoy this victory Dib human, because when the bell rings we end this on the playground."

---

A hatch opened.

Light streamed out of it.

Somewhere inside, a capsule made of unknown material was preparing to launch itself for Earth.

It started to hum ever so slightly as coils of power started to build up behind it.

Its surface vibrated.

And then, suddenly, it shot out, slicing thru the air as it torpedoed towards Earth.

As it ripped thru the stratosphere its casing erupted into flame as the air itself burnt with the friction.

And deep inside this hurtling projectile, a figure lay curled. Not asleep, because sleep wasn't something it was programmed to do. But dormant.

However the increasing heat of its shell and the earsplitting whistle of the wind shredding around it was slowly pulling the trigger.

It didn't wake up, it couldn't wake up if it couldn't sleep, but it was activating.

---

The playground was to be the next battlefield.

Dib stepped out of the school building and scanned the area.

Zim was sitting at one of the benches, hands folded in front of him.

This was a little unexpected. Zim based his attacks on the element of surprise. It unsettled Dib.

What could he be up to?

Zim smiled challengingly

Well! Whatever Zim was up to Dib wasn't going to let him win at childish mind-games!

He marched over, determined to face whatever Zim was ready to throw at him.

"I see you were foolish enough to show up pathetic earth child!" Zim grinned once Dib was close enough.

"Whatever you plan on doing Zim, I can guaranty you I'll put a stop to it!" Dib sneered. "Just like I always do."

"SILENCE!" Zim yelled. "I have no time for your worthless pleading!"

"I wasn't pleading…"

"BE QUIET! Soon you shall see just how amazing your demise will be! Prepare yourself Dib human, for soon you shall be facing The Doom of a Thousand Pigeons!!"

"The What??" Dib blinked.

"YES! That's it! Cower at the thought of being picked apart piece by piece by your very own earth sky monsters!" He carried on, ignoring Dib's obvious confusion.

"Ok I think I'm starting to get the picture." Dib said. "You're going to get pigeons to attack me or something am I right?" Half the fun in sparring with Zim was to try and figure out what the hell he was actually saying. "What exactly could pigeons do? Poo on me?"

"Fool! You're just proving once again my superiority by showing your ignorance!" Zim grinned as he calmed down. "The problem with you Dib, is that you lack vision. Creativity is an important tool and clearly you seem to be at the shallow end of the gene pool."

Dib flinched. Zim was starting to get too personal.

The alien noticed this.

"I seem to have hit a nerve." He smirked.

"No. You're just getting on them!" Dib snapped.

"Well no matter!"

Zim got up onto the table.

"For soon your nerves will be nothing but starchy bird food goodness!"

Nature saw its cue and the wind picked up slightly.

"And once you are out of the way there will be nothing between me and the annihilation of this horrible rock!"

Dib was gritting his teeth, ready to launch his own string of threats and promises, but something a little above and to the left of Zim's head caught his attention.

The sun's light was reflecting off of something in the sky, making it look like a star in the middle of the day. Dib squinted at it.

Zim misinterpreted his expression.

"I see you are stupefied by my brilliance! I should expect no less from an inferior being such as yourself!"

The sparkly sky thing was getting bigger, and the wind had picked up a little more speed.

Dib wished he had a telescope her or something.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!" Zim yelled, suddenly aware he'd lost his audience.

The thing was starting to get shape. It looked like a diamond…or a crystal rather, one of those long thin ones.

"Hey! … Dib!!" Zim yelled.

A soft rumbling could now be heard. The other kids had also noticed it and had stopped their various games, fights and bullying to see what the noise was.

Zim had finally caught on as well and turned to see what exactly was so interesting behind him.

The sound had changed. It was no longer a distant rumbling but had changed to something between an ear splitting whistle and the sound of silk tearing.

The shell on the thing had gone from being a hard casing to a malleable liquid jacket around something else that had been nestling inside the hurtling object.

It was impossible to make out what it was though partly because it's liquid sheath distorted it but mostly because of the incredible speed at which it was traveling.

Zim gave it one look and then a yell.

He jumped off the table, skidded in an arc and dived down under it.

The kids on the playground decided that Zim had the right idea and started to scatter in all directions, screaming and yelling. Some of them dove under whatever was nearest them for cover while others ran back into the school building, some just ran in circles screaming like ninnies.

Dib threw himself under the table he was still facing. Once safe under the wood he turned around so he could see the playground in front of him.

The noise of air rushing to fill the gap left in the wake of the falling object was almost defining now.

"Zim! You idiot what did you do now?!" Dib yelled at his shelter partner.

"You think I have something to do with this?!" Zim yelled back.

"Surprisingly, yes!"

"Well I don't!!" he yelled.

And then the playground exploded.

---

Pieces of black-top, jungle gym, trashcans and obliterated picnic tables were thrown into the air.

Dust shot away from the scene of impact at break-neck speed.

Dib covered his head with his hands and shut his eyes.

After a few seconds the noise died away some and he opened them again.

Something was crouched in the middle of a large black snowflake of melted tar and cement but he couldn't make it out clearly. His glasses her frosted with dust. He whipped them off, gave them a polish, knowing very well he was probably scratching them, and put them back on in record time.

Now he could see.

The crouching figure was slowly rising. Mechanical muscles and bones unfolding and contracting as it rose up to its rightful height. It's thin, expressionless face raised itself and two orange-red lights went on and blinked.

Two spiraled rolls on its back unfurled into a pair of twisted vine-like tentacles which immediately began to twitch and roll over themselves.

It's long, bird-like legs, its smooth face, its long needle like hands; all of it spelt a machine designed to make a very serious point. What the point was exactly was 'I will make the rest of your life extremely painful but don't worry, the rest of your life will probably be very short.'

"What is it?' Dib asked by default.

A gloved hand slapped itself shut over his mouth.

"Ssht Earth boy!" Zim whispered sharply. "Or it'll be the end of us both!"

The robot turned its head from side to side, taking in the destroyed school-yard.

It took a step forward.

Some of the kids who had been running around in circles decided that that was enough for one day and ran back to the school building.

The robot stopped and watched them as they bid a hasty retreat.

Its eyes narrowed.

It then spoke, however what with was unclear as it had no features besides its eyes.

"I am D.A.R. Unit number 37448. Scans have indicated that this planet is host to a small amount of Clanynites. You will surrender these Clanynites or suffer the consequences."

It scanned the vicinity slowly.

"What are Clanynites?" Dib whispered.

"Ssht!" was all he got in return.

"I await response!" The robot said loudly. A mechanical version of a yell.

"What are they?!" Dib whispered again.

"Dib-human I beg you to keep quiet!" Zim replied desperately.

Dib did as he was told. The fact that Zim had just come closer to a 'please' than Dib had ever heard clearly meant Zim was not joking around.

He turned his attention back to the large machine.

It took a few strides forward, swinging its head from side to side.

Suddenly and without warning one of the coils on its back shot forward and dragged a child who'd been hiding towards the robot.

It hoisted the screaming child into the air in front of its face.

The kid was kicking and screaming, trying to wriggle free of the tendril wrapped tightly around his legs.

"Where are your planet's Clanynites?" The robot said bluntly.

The kid screamed and shook his head so hard it almost fell off.

"Respond!" the robot commanded.

Eventually the kid shrieked an 'I don't know!' as loudly as he could.

"Response not acceptable." The machine said.

It slowly retracted an arm backwards; its pincer-like fingers level with the hysterical boy. And then with lightning speed, shot it forward.

Dib could only watch with horror.

The robot raised its head again.

The remaining hidden children decided they'd had enough and ran screaming in all directions away from the devastated playground.

The robot watched but didn't attempt to chase after them.

It did another visual sweep of the area.

Its gaze fell upon one of the few remaining picnic tables, under which Dib was frozen stiff.

It stared hard and cold at it for what seemed like the rest of time.

It then turned and strode away slowly and full of purpose into the city, causing car crashes and panicked people as it did so.

Dib's lungs felt like they were on fire. He suddenly realized he'd been holding his breath. He took a strangled mouthful of air. Movement beside him nearly gave him a heart attack.

Zim had crawled out from under the table. He was jogging towards the hole in the fence where the robot had torn through it like paper. He stopped and watched the destruction the machine had left in its path.

Slowly, Dib forced his legs to move and he too got up although personally he felt like staying under the table for the rest of his life.

He found himself walking to stand next to his rival, using all his willpower to stop himself from looking at the crippled figure lying in a slowly growing pool.

"…" He said.

He tried again.

"Wh…what was that?"

"A D.A.R.-Unit, or a DARU." Zim said. "Destroy And Retrieve. It's programmed to find and retrieve specific things for its masters. And if it can't find what it's looking for…" His voice trailed off.

"Oh this is terrible!" He burst out loudly.

Dib blinked at the alien.

"Unless that thing finds these Clananynites it's going to destroy the whole planet!"

"But I thought you wanted the Earth destroyed?" Dib said.

"I want the human race to be eliminated but it is Zim who should be doing the eliminating!" Zim spat. "I am suppose to destroy the humans! I am suppose to become the slave master of this planet! I am suppose to be the one credited with the conquest of this planet! Not some crazed homicidal walking toaster!! What will The Tallest think if I tell them all I did was sit around and wait for some-one else to do my job?!!"

He spun around and started marching off away from the school.

"Hey wait!" Dib yelled scurrying after him. "Where are you going? What are you gonna do?!"

"Any-one standing in the way of an invader and his mission needs to be gotten rid of." Zim said. "I'm going to my base."

Dib watched him leave.

He realized he was now standing all alone on ground zero.

The Playground had been a battlefield all right, but far from the kind he'd had in mind.

He turned and ran.

He didn't stop till his own front door was in front of him.

---

"It was horrible!" He yelled throwing his arms in the air. "It came out of the sky like some kind of meteor and POW! It crashed right in the middle of the playground! And then it got up and it was this giant robot with these huge tentacle things on its back!" Dib was pacing back and forth waving his arms like a windmill on crack. Prof. Membrane was having a hard time sifting the hard facts out of the frenzied recount his son was giving him.

"And then It's standing there like all calm and it says a whole bunch of stuff I can't remember! And then it says it's looking for something called Clanynites!" Dib stopped. "What are Clanynites?" He asked. He'd memorized the word in case he could find some-one who'd know something about it. In his shock after the robot left the playground he'd forgotten to ask Zim about it again.

"I have never heard of These 'Clanynites' before son. However the word 'Nites' at the end of the word would indicate them being a collection of something microscopic. Anyhow that's not important right now. I need you to tell me what happened next."

Dib was slightly annoyed that his dad just wrote the Clanynites off as 'unimportant' but adrenalin was still pumping thru him and he welcomed this chance to burn some of it.

"Well no-one said anything because we were all hiding. So it walked forward a bit and then it grabbed one of the kids by their ankles with one of the tentacle things! It was like a whip it was so fast! And then it's dangling this kid in front of its face and it asks him where the Clanynites are but of course the poor guy didn't know so it…!" Dib faltered.

"Go on." His dad instructed.

Dib swallowed.

"…It killed him."

Prof. Membrane said nothing.

"Anyway," Dib went on. "Every-one else got so scared they ran away but it didn't try to chase 'em or anything. It just watched them and then it left and went somewhere into the city. And then I came out and came home." He finished.

"Sounds like you had a pretty bad day." Gaz remarked from her position on the couch.

Dib gave her a vexed look.

Prof. Membrane was staring at the empty space above Dib's head.

"Describe this robot." He said eventually

"It was really tall." Dib said. "about 7'6". It was a sort of black grey colour. It's face only had two orange lights for eyes. Its head, chest, pelvis and feet were the only real encased areas, the rest was made up of wires and a metallic skeleton. Its knees bend the wrong way round, like a bird's. Its feet are huge compared to the rest of it. Its hands are useless as hands…they have these two long blades for fingers. That's what it used to…to attack with. It also has these two very long tentacle things coming from its back which it grabbed with. They're always moving slightly. It was sorta hunched. Its neck, waist and arms all kinda bend forward slightly but its knees bend backward like I said so it's not off balance."

Prof. Membrane thought about this. "So it's not heavily armored?"

"Didn't look like it." Dib shrugged.

Prof. Membrane got up from his chair.

"I must discuss this with my fellow scientists. Perhaps we can get some footage of this machine from the media. In the meantime I want you kids to stay here. A devastated city is no place for children to run around in."

"But Dad I must go talk to..!" But the Professor had already left the room.

Dib grumbled and climbed onto the sofa next to Gaz where he proceeded to sulk.

"Giant robots huh?" She asked as she pummeled her Game Slave 2.

"If we could just find out what these stupid Clanynites are we can figure out what's going on exactly!" Dib said.

"A homicidal robot is tearing the city apart. What's so hard to understand about that? Now leave me alone, I'm about to fight the Giant vampiric Capybara." She said.

"I bet Zim knows." Dib went on ignoring her. "He knew what it was I bet he knows why it wants these Clanynites."

Dib got up from the couch.

" I gotta go to Zim's house and find out what he knows!"

"Dad said to stay indoors." Gaz said matter-of-factly.

"Dad doesn't understand what's going on!" Dib said. "We're facing an invasion from who knows where! And the best person to ask about alien invaders is an alien invader!"

He slammed the door behind him as he ran out.

"Well if it'll shut you up be my guest." Gaz said to the empty room.

---

The City wasn't looking its best.

The various monitors on Zim's base showed a losing battle between building and demolition derby. The DARU was doing its best to, not only dispose of any-one unhelpful i.e. every-one, but also level as many buildings in its path as possible. Every few minutes it would announce that unless its demand was met it would continue destroying everything and every-one in sight.

The local news station had sent a whole army of news reporters in helicopters and on foot to cover the story. Every now and then an unfortunate reporter would get too close but he was soon replaced by some-one else.

Zim was in his base going thru every scrap of resource his computer could give him about this DARU menace.

The information was pretty thin.

"So you're telling me no-one has ever successfully attacked one of these things?!" he yelled.

Most offences were unsuccessful due to the robot's fast counter attacks and dense armor.

"But this DAR machine has no armor!" Zim pointed out.

Although the visible casing is limited, its robotic skeleton and wiring is made from an extremely enduring substance.

"And what is that substance?"

I...I don't know.

Zim growled.

A slice of bread suddenly appeared right in front of his face.

"Looky looky!! It's gone BAD!" Came the shrill voice from the top of his head.

"Gir! Get off my head!" Zim yelled trying to pry the robot loose.

"BAD BREAD! BAD BREAD!" Gir slapped the offending slice against Zim's head.

"Gir!!" Zim wrestled his evil minion off his head but lost his balance and fell off his chair.

He found himself on his back with Gir sitting on top of him still waving the now pulpy bread slice around.

"Alright! I give in! Why is the slice of bread bad?" Zim sighed.

"IT'S GONE FURRY!!" Gir exploded with every sign of happiness.

"Bread doesn't have fur Gir!" Zim argued.

"This one does! It's all green and fuzzy like a kitty! I like kitties!"

"Well that's great Gir but I'm kinda in the middle of a crises here so…"

"WHYYY IS IT FURRY?!! WHYYYY?!!" Gir started to jump up and down crushing Zim's ribs in the process.

"I don't know I don't know! Will you get off me?!" Zim pushed the maniacal robot off him.

"If it's really that important to you why don't you just scrape off a sample and have the computer analyze it or something?!" He said rubbing his chest.

"Okeedokee!" Gir yelled and ran off.

Zim sighed and shook his head.

Suddenly his antennae shot upright as he realized what he'd just said.

"Wait a minute that's it!" he cried. "If I can get a sample of that robot's wiring I can do a diagnostic on it and find out what it's made of! Once I know that I can figure out how to destroy it! INGENIUS!"

And how exactly do you plan to get a sample if I may ask? His computer piped up.

"Easy! I simply rip off one of its wires!"

You're kidding right?

"Zim does not kid!"

But that's suicide! That thing'll rip you apart before you're anywhere near enough to…

"SILENCE! Do not interrupt me when I'm being brilliant!" Zim yelled.

"Now, where would I find that over-sized blender?" He turned to his monitors and started to search.

---

Dib was pounding across the pavement as hard as he could. He knew getting some information off Zim was important but the main reason he was traveling at full gallop was because he was terrified.

'I must be crazy!' He thought as he skidded round a bend.

'There's a psychopathic robot loose trying to turn the city into a landfill and here I am running around all by myself because I think I might be on to something!'

Not that it mattered. At the moment the main focus was running. As fast and as hard as he could. Zim's house just gave him something to run to.

Usually the trip took him around 10 minutes; he reached the front door in less than 5.

He banged on the door wit his fist.

"Zim open up! We need to talk!" He yelled.

The house stayed surprisingly quite.

He banged on the door again, harder this time.

"Zim will you listen?! I need to know what that machine's after!! Open this door!!"

There was a crash from inside that sounded rather expensive.

The door finally opened.

"HI!"

"Oh. It's you." Dib said rather disappointed.

Gir took a bite out of the donut he was holding sending a squirt of Jam thru the air.

Dib ducked the sticky assault and said; "Hey is Zim home? I need to talk to him."

"He's not here!" Gir grinned thru a mouth full of jam and lard.

"Where is he then?" Dib said impatiently.

"He gone to find the big bad robot thingy! He's doomed WOOHOO!"

"He's gone looking for it?! Why?!"

"He needs ta get the big strong wiring so's he can blow it up like this KABLAM!!" Gir threw his donut in the air. It promptly landed on the biggest target around i.e. Dib's head.

"Okay…well do you know which way he went?" Dib asked wiping jam and crumbs from his head and face.

Gir pointed. "He went thataway!"

Dib followed the pointing finger into the city.

'Ok now I know I'm crazy!' He thought.

'Why on Earth would Zim go looking for the stupid thing?! He must be crazy too!'

---

Finding the DARU turned out to be a lot easier than he thought. All you really had to do was follow the screaming. Following the damage could've worked too but it was starting to accumulate and there wasn't a clear trail anymore.

Dib turned a corner past an ironic Ice cream store that was on fire.

He soon wished he didn't though because standing in the middle of the street was the DARU.

Dib skidded, fell, scrambled to his feet, did a U-turn and hid behind a car that had wrapped itself around a streetlamp.

He poked his head over the bonnet to see if he'd been spotted.

If he had been the DARU hadn't taken any notice. It swung out with a tentacle and ripped a 10 foot gash in a truck.

As it did this its other tentacle shattered a nearby bank's pillars as if they were made of chalk.

People came stampeding out of the crippled building.

The robot lunged and brought forward a woman in stiletto heels who couldn't get away fast enough.

He made short work of her.

Dib slid down behind the car again and pressed his back against it.

'What the hell am I doing here?!' He thought while he tried to get his heart to pump some blood to his hands. They felt like ice cubes.

He knew he should just get up and run as far away as fast as he could. But he also knew that if he did so there was a very good chance he'd get his lungs ripped out through his navel.

"Hey Spoot-head!" Came a yell from somewhere over the car.

Dib shut his eyes. "Oh no."

He forced himself to get up and look over the car bonnet again.

His worst nightmare was unfolding as he watched.

The DARU had stopped mutilating the masses and turned its attention to a little green kid who was standing in the middle of the street with his arms crossed.

"This planet is mine! I was here first you know!"

"Zim you idiot what the heck are you doing?!" Dib whispered to himself.

The DARU stared at this new challenger. It was use to things running away from it so when a two foot nothing person stood in front of it with a defiant stance looking ready for a fight it wasn't sure what to do. Its confusion wouldn't last forever though.

Zim took a few steps forward.

"Why don't you just go on home to wherever the heck you came from?! Otherwise I'm gonna have to destroy you! It would be so much easier if you just left!"

Dib was chewing his knuckles raw.

The DARU seemed to have worked itself out and was now regaining its menacing composure. It took a step towards Zim.

Zim seemed oblivious and took his own step forward.

"I see you want to do this the hard way." He said. "Fine! But I warn you; you will rue the day you ever messed with ZIM! Now, BEGIN RUEING!"

The DARU wasn't giving him much attention. At least not his speech.

It strode slowly towards him.

With a flash one of its tentacles shot forward, ready to twist itself around Zim.

But surprisingly Zim had anticipated its move and dove out of the way. He dove to the left, took the ground at a roll and got to his feet just in time to jump away from the second tentacle as it buried itself into the tar street.

Dib was watching in fascinated horror. He had to admit, as suicidal as this was, Zim was incredibly fast on his feet.

The DARU spun on its own axis, trying to find where its target had gone. Zim had rolled behind it and had been about to attack the robot from the back when it spotted him again.

It whipped out with its tentacles and it was by a hair's breath that Zim wasn't slashed in two. Zim rolled, got into a crouch and launched himself towards the machine. But it threw a razor sharp hand forwards just as Zim was about to make a grab for the exposed wires around its middle. Zim saw the danger just in time and changed position so he slid between its legs instead. But one of the blade-like fingers slashed his left cheek as he did so.

Zim slid, got to his feet and turned to face his opponent again.

It was fast. Too fast. The only reason he hadn't been shredded like paper was because he'd been lucky.

He needed to get a sample now, otherwise he never would.

The robot held his gaze as it waited to see his next move, its tentacles lifted menacingly above its head like some sort of spider, ready to attack again should Zim try anything.

Zim kept his ground, scanning the robot's surface for any exposed wires he could grab and make off with before he got himself killed.

The only places he could get a good gripping from were its arms, legs, middle and neck. However its tentacles could reach any and all of these places so he needed to pick a target he could attack quickly.

The robot was getting impatient. Soon it would make the first move and then Zim would have to try another approach if he wasn't torn apart first.

Zim took a deep breath and launched himself straight for one of the robots arms.

He figured the DARU would be expecting him to attack its middle or head instead so he would surprise it by going for a less obvious target.

It was a good plan considering the options, and it worked up until the point he grabbed hold of the DARU's right arm. He gripped the first thin wire he could feel under his fingers and yanked with all his might. Never once had he considered the possibility that he might not be strong enough to rip it off.

He should have let go as soon as he realized this but his shock made him hesitate for a fraction of a second. And that was all the DARU needed.

A tentacle shot over its head and wrapped itself around Zim's torso before any-one could blink.

It twisted tightly. Not so tight as to do any damage but tight enough to prevent Zim from moving too much.

The other tentacle shot forwards as well and appeared to also wrap itself around Zim's waist.

Zim realized he still had his fingers wrapped firmly around a wire in the robot's arm. He wasn't about to give that prize up no matter what the thing did to him next.

But the robot just held him which was in itself a huge surprise, but nothing, absolutely nothing could've prepared Zim for what it said next.

"You are not native to this planet." It said matter of factly.

Zim gave a choke and then said; "Yes I am! I'm normal! SO NORMAL!"

"You are not." The robot said harshly.

Zim tried to wriggle free but to no avail.

"You are Irken." It carried on.

Zim stopped and boggled at the robot intelligently.

"How…how…why do you say that?" He spluttered.

The DARU's tone took on a hint of amusement.

"You are bleeding." It said.

Zim freed one of his hands and touched his cheek.

His fingertips felt damp and sticky and when he bought them into his range of vision they shone a dark emerald green.

He looked back up at the robot who was watching him with interest.

"So what?!" Zim snapped.

"You have interfered with my search young one." The robot said. "And my masters do not take kindly to outside interference."

Zim started to struggle again. He didn't like where this was going.

"I have heard of you irkens;" The robot carried on, and Zim felt its tentacles tighten slightly. What was that other one wrapped around? "You think you are invincible with your technology. But often, our greatest weapons are our greatest weaknesses."

And then Zim realized exactly what the second tentacle was wrapped around. But the realization came a single second before he would've found out anyway.

The DARU's first tentacle had itself firmly locked around Zim's waist while the other one had wormed itself around his Pak.

As it finished its sentence it tightened the grip on both of them, tensed, and then pulled.

Pain tore all the way up Zim's spine and exploded around the two plugs designed to connect the Irken pak to his cerebral system.

White light exploded in front of his eyes and he felt his throat burst into flame. He realized this was because he was screaming.

And then it didn't matter anymore because the only thing left existing in the world was Pain.

Dib couldn't watch this anymore.

Enough was too much already!

He picked up the nearest thing his hand could wrap around and threw it as hard as he could at the DARU's head.

The rock smacked against the hard metal with a 'Klop'.

The robot turned to see where the attack had come from.

Dib felt like a massive target had been painted on his forehead and all the world's weapons were pointing directly at it.

The DARU glared at him, and then was distracted by a noise in the distance.

It tossed Zim aside and sprinted away.

Dib watched it leave with muted shock.

He was sure he'd seen his last sunrise just then! Whatever had caused the machine to run off, he vowed to burn a small offering to it everyday from now on.

Zim was gulping down more air than his lungs could hold.

The stabbing pain was quickly becoming a slow throb. A few seconds later it had gone slightly numb around the plugs as the pak's auto-repair sprung into action.

Only now did he become aware of a shoe gently nudging him. Soon after a voice followed it.

"..Hey. Hey are you dead?"

Zim frowned in annoyance.

"No." He said irritably. "I'm not dead."

He opened his eyes and pushed himself upright onto his elbows.

"I wish I were though." He said, gingerly touching his pak.

"That really looked like it hurt." Dib said stupidly.

"'Hurt' doesn't come close to describing it." Zim said as he wobbly got to his feet. He wished his heart would stop trying to punch its way out of his chest. He needed something to drink, and a week long sleep.

"Where'd the walking waffle-iron go?" he asked groggily.

"I don't know. He just stopped and ran off. I think he heard something."

"Great" Zim said more to himself than any-one else.

Dib took a deep breath. He was about to do something very rash.

"Zim…I think we should talk about a truce. Just for now!"

Zim glowered at him. He would've yelled but he didn't have the energy just yet.

"Why on Irk would I agree to something like that?!" He spat.

"Because there's a giant robot running around!" Dib yelled. "He's destroying my planet and chances are he's not gonna forget about you either! My enemy's enemy is my friend right?!"

Zim said nothing.

"I don't like the idea any more than you do! But we haven't exactly got a choice here!" Dib said.

"We were lucky today Zim, but our luck won't hold forever." He added.

Zim sighed, and gave in.

"Ok." Dib said. "Now where do we go from here?"

"Zim is one step ahead of you Human." Zim grinned painfully.

He opened one of his palms to reveal a thin white coil of wiring, sparks still flaking off its ends

---

"FURRY BREAD! FURRY BREAD!!!"

Paf paf paf.

Dib sighed.

"What's taking so long?!" he yelled once again trying to pry Gir off his head without much success.

I'm going as fast as I can!

The computer retorted on Zim's behalf.

Gir was still hitting Dib over the head with the now dismally small piece of bread.

"IT'S SO GREEEN! WHYYY?!"

"Will you quit it?!" Dib yelled.

Gir showed no interest in stopping though.

"Look!" Dib yelled grabbing the bread slice. "It's just Mold!"

"IT'S GOLD???!!! WAAA!!"

"NO! Not gold! MOLD! Pusstolonifer! The name given to any of various fungi that often cause disintegration of organic matter!!"

Gir stopped. He held up his piece of bread and stared at it. He then proceeded to eat it.

"It tastes reeeeal bad!" He said happily.

Dib groaned. "Is it done yet?!"

"There's another thing you lack Dib-meat. Patience." Zim said from his position by the work table.

"So what are we gonna do once the computer finds out what the wire's made of?" Dib asked rolling his eyes

"Isn't it obvious?! Once I know what it's made of I will know how to destroy it and which of my AMAZING weapons to use!!" Zim said turning around for a minute to wave a tool above his head.

Dib decided not to voice his opinions of Zim's amazing weapons. "You still have to tell me what these clanynites are." He said instead

"I should've guessed your planet has not even discovered them! You seem oblivious to everything else!" Zim smirked.

Dib pulled a face. Zim was obviously feeling much better.

"Clanynites are small microscopic beings that originally came from a planet the size of..." He paused trying to think of a decent Earth comparison Dib would understand. "…an apple."

"That's ridiculous!" Dib said. "No planet can be so small!"

"How can you Dib, who has never known any planet but your own know what is out there?" Zim said smugly.

"It doesn't make scientific sense! No planet that size would be able to sustain itself for more than a few hours! Let alone support life of any size!!" Dib said.

Zim smiled widely at Dib. "Do you know who you just sounded like?" He said with satisfaction dripping off every word.

Dib stumbled over his words, unable to think of a come-back. For all his moronic qualities Zim had an uncanny way of surprising him. This subtle reference to Dib's father not being the least of these.

Zim had in the meantime turned his back to his worktable. his pak lifted, turned, and gently re-plugged itself into Zim's back.

He winced slightly; the area around the plugs had taken an awful lot of strain and was still tender.

But he was determined not to let Dib see this weakness.

"Despite what you think you know about the laws of physics that is where the Clanynites came from originally. At some stage Vort scientists discovered that the microscopic beings living on this planet, because they were so… concentrated, they gave off a large amount of energy for their size. Of course, because their planet was so small this didn't mean much since there wasn't a lot of space for their population to become very large. However the Vort scientists extracted some of these from their planet and, by duplicating their environment in a lab, were able to create a vast population of them."

"Skip the lecture and get to the part where there's a crazy robot destroying Earth!" Dib said impatiently.

Zim grumbled but decided to cut it short.

"The Vort discovered that in large amounts, these Clanynites were a vast source of untapped energy. Soon they were using them in all power-sources. Weapons, ships, basically anything that requires energy. The Vort kept their clanynite technology mostly to themselves although they did share it with some of their allies. Once they were conquered it fell mainly into disuse."

"So why would this DARU thingy come looking for some on Earth? Before the whole Massive remote control thing we did I'd never heard of the Vort before so I doubt any-one on Earth knows about them or their technology." Dib said.

"From what I've heard the DARU doesn't attack randomly. Some people say the masters of the DARU do a preliminary search of the planets they attack first because the planets it does attack always have its looking for." Zim said.

"But how could there be Vort energy on Earth?!" Dib said angrily.

"How should I know?!" Zim snapped back, suddenly annoyed. "I don't live here!!"

"Yes you do!!" Dib yelled back.

"I'm not exactly here by choice Stink-Meat!!"

"Then maybe you should just leave!!"

"FINE! Then you can deal with the homicidal maniac by YOURSELF!!"

They lapsed into a static silence as they each tried to stare the other down.

Somewhere in the background Gir threw up.

"You're not going to though are you?" Dib said finally.

Zim turned his back on him and walked over to one of the Computer screens.

"I have a job to do. And as much as it pains Zim to stay on this wet rock the mission must come first."

Dib couldn't think of a decent reply to this.

"WHAT?! THE RESULTS ARE IN?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!" Zim exploded.

I didn't want to interrupt. I hardly get any entertainment

Zim gave the nearest control panel a kick. He then proceeded to jump up and down rubbing his foot.

"So? What is it? What's it made of?!" Dib asked anxiously.

Zim, still grumbling, inspected the specs displayed by the computer.

"I know this material." He said eventually. "I do not think your planet will have come into contact with it Dib human."

"Well tell me what it's called and we'll see if my planet has heard of it." Said Dib, desperate to defend what was left of the Planet's honour.

Zim told him.

There was a pause.

"Say what?" Dib blinked.

Zim told him again.

Dib merely stared at him.

Zim rolled his eyes, or at least did as much as a pupil-less alien could. "It's Irken. Roughly translated it means 'really really strong metal stuff.'"

"Don't you know how to say it in English?" Dib asked annoyed.

"No I don't." Zim retorted equally annoyed.

Dib pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ok ok that's not important. What's important is do you know how to destroy it?"

Zim grinned. "If there is one thing my knowledge is unmatched by, it's destruction."

---

Dib was saying a prayer of thanks to every God he knew of that Zim was stupid if not insane. The sheer magnitude of arsenal Zim had in his base was enough to turn a small island into Earth's most powerful fighting force. Dib silently smirked. Good thing Zim preferred the outrageous and dramatic to the obvious and practical or the Earth would be in a lot of trouble.

Dib sighed. Well. More trouble than it was in already.

Zim was currently going through the ritual of picking up random devices of doom and tossing them over his shoulder saying things like ; 'Too small. Too inaccurate. Too small. Too expensive. Too small. Too much backfire. Too small. Too small."

Dib was getting impatient. "At this rate we might as well wait for it to die of rust first! Can't you just grab one of the biggest ones and blow it up?"

"If I really felt like melting my face off in the process Stupid-Dib!" Zim snapped.

"Actually that doesn't sound like such a bad idea." Dib grinned.

"Come to think of it you're right." Zim said scratching his chin.

"Buh??"

"I'd melt my Zim-face off yes but I should also be able to flatten this stinking city in the process."

Dib grumbled something. "Just get a move on will ya?"

Zim shot a hand into the large pile again and pulled out something that looked like a gun but instead of a barrel had a very large claw on the front.

"What's that suppose to be? A grappling hook? Oh yeah that'd help!" Dib said irritably.

Zim shot him a dirty glance.

"For your information this here is one of the finest examples of weapon engineering! State of the art Irken technology!" He stopped. "Well…Vort scientists actually but it doesn't matter! It has mass destruction and bringing of doom-ness power!"

"It looks like something you make smoothies with." Dib said.

"Would you like me to demonstrate on your enormous forehead?!" Zim hissed.

"My head's not…!!"

"It's a plasma coil!" Zim interrupted.

"Plasma coil? I think I've heard of those. Plasma coil. Hmm." He gave the large claw-like front a good inspection.

In the centre of the three large metallic hooks has an opening into what looked like a tube. It was lined by hair-thin needle points, each one slightly glowing at the tip.

"What are those?" he said sticking his head closer for a better look.

Zim removed the temptation of showing Dib exactly what they were by aiming the gun at the roof.

"They're power channels. The gun works from a main power-core which channels into them, when the gun is fired the lower coil turns clockwise and the outer coil, the part with the spikes, turns counter-clockwise. The collected energy is sent forward from channel to channel collecting more energy as it does so to eventually be released in one powerful blast. The spikes at the front are to stabilise the blast and make it go forward instead of exploding as soon as it leaves the barrel."

Dib tapped a spike with a finger-nail. "And this should work against Mr. big and ugly then?"

Zim shrugged. "Well, sorta."

Dib pulled an annoyed face "What do you mean 'sorta'? Will it work or not?!"

"Look! All I was looking for was something splodey that might actually put a dent in our little robot problem!"

"Well that's the idea isn't it? So what's the problem?"

Zim pulled an exasperated face. "There's more to blowing something up than just….blowing something up stupid Dib-child. Did you happen to try and figure out how long it might take this gun to power-up enough to shoot such a powerful blast?! You'd most likely be turned into mince-meat before you even pull the trigger!"

Dib clenched his fists to prevent himself from lunging forward and throttling Zim. "Then why on Earth did you even bother giving me that whole lecture on how it works?! We don't have time!!" He said in a strained voice

Zim grinned widely. "Because my dear simple-minded boy-child…this gun is gonna be yours." he said as he dropped it into Dib's arms.

"What?!" Dib said as he struggled under the gun's weight. "I thought you just said this gun wouldn't work!"

"Correction!" Zim said as he once again started to rummage around the big pile of arsenal. "I said it takes too long to shoot. It works fine!"

"But I'm likely to get killed before I actually do anything aren't I?!" Dib snapped back. "I see what you're trying to do! You're trying to kill two birds with one stone!"

"Zim does not use stones to kill things! They're clumsy and hard to throw accurately!!" Zim said angrily.

"That's not what I..! ..wait hold on," Dib dropped the gun on the ground as it seemed to magically realise he was finding it hard to keep holding it and was making itself as heavy as possible.

Dib pointed an accusing finger at Zim. "You're trying to get rid of me in the process of getting rid of the robot thing!"

Zim turned to him annoyed. "Oh yes! Brilliant! I invite you here to my home-base and tell you everything I know about the current situation to try and get rid of this stupid hunk of scrap metal off my soon-to-be-conquered planet with the soul objective to just get rid of you!! If I was planning all that do you really think I'd have wasted my breath telling you all this?!" He yelled as he waved the gun he had just picked up around in the air.

Dib rubbed his eyes under his glasses exasperatedly. "Then why the heck did you give me this gun if you're not trying to kill me.. ..today?"

"Because," Zim said jumping down from the pile with another gun in his possession. "That gun may take a while to shoot but it's got semi-automatic aiming and doesn't do much damage to the surrounding area. I just assumed some-one like you aren't very use to using a weapon. I've seen you shoot Dib! You stink! You stink so bad it makes the nasal cavity of Zim cry in grief!"

Dib blinked at him in surprise. "So.. ..you were actually thinking about me?"

Zim pulled a disgusted face. "I was thinking about how we could get this all over with as fast as possible! Unfortunately this seems to require me working with you, so I might as well try and find a way for you to actually be useful!"

He marches past Dib dragging the gun he had picked from the pile on the floor behind him.

Dib wasn't sure what to make of all this. Zim was actually thinking this over, and not only that he was making sense for once. Dib shifted his weight from one foot to the other. A crazy megalomaniac Zim was already hard to deal with, he wasn't sure he liked the idea of Zim being able to think things through tactically.

He shook his head. He'll deal with this later. There were more pressing matters at the moment.

"And you're using that?" He asked to divert his own attention away from such disturbing thoughts.

Zim lifted his own gun. "It's lighter, fast to shoot and deals more damage." He said ginning.

Dib gave him a look one might give a packet of jellybeans upon finding all the red ones were missing.

"And you're keeping it for yourself naturally." He said annoyed.

"Personally I wouldn't trust you within 10 feet on this gun!" Zim said waving it around haphazardly. "It goes off too easily."

"You don't say." Dib said following the waving barrel with his eyes.

"You just stay back and make sure you shoot whenever you can. I'll take care of dealing the important damage." Zim said as he started to trudge out the room.

"Wait a minute!" Dib said picking up what was now his gun and scrambling after the green-skinned soldier. "What's the plan?! Are we just gonna run around it and shoot?! What about a defensive strategy? What about surveying the battleground? What about..?"

"What about you keeping quiet and actually getting there?!" Zim snapped.

"We can't just charge at it guns a-blazing! We'll be killed!" Dib said frantically.

"Zim has no need for over-elaborate plans!" Zim said rounding on him.

"You're kidding right?"

Zim ignored this comment. "If we stand around talking all day we might as well sit back and wait till this whole planet is blown to bits!"

"But but..!" Dib wracked his brain miserably trying to find some way to convince Zim otherwise. Eventually he sighed and gave up.

"I guess you're right." he said bitterly. "Or rather you make sense. I doubt you ever do anything that's actually right" He said straightening himself up.

"C'mon." He said marching past Zim who had clearly started on firing a retort. "Arguing isn't exactly taking up less time either."

---

To say the city was a wreck would be like saying Noah's flood was 'a bit of ghastly weather'. If it had been the setting for a movie the 'Best set design' Oscar was in the bag.

Everything was on fire. And the things that weren't on fire clearly had been on fire a few minutes ago. Smoke was billowing from everything. It curled up from black twisted remains of trees and from empty voids in buildings where windows use to be, even the tar from the street was letting off a foul smelling white mist that stung the eyes and burned at the back of the throat.

The buildings however, weren't the hollow shells of destroyed buildings in all those post-apocalyptic movies. Their scars and wounds were still fresh and panic and fear were still seeping from them into the surrounding area. this was amplified by the screams and cries of people who were even now running in all directions. The 'stampeding cow-herd' kind of terror had long ago died away and they were now gripped by the much more horrifying fear of having lost touch with where they should go, where they were now, a loved one or, in some cases, sanity.

The afternoon had died long ago and the sun it seems had tried to get away as soon as possible. Night had already fallen. However the smog and dust had blotted out all signs of any stars and the blazing city gave everything a demonic red glow, lighting the area so that it was possible to see just how ruined everything was.

Scrambling down what was once a pavement and cradling his gun nervously against him, Dib was trying hard not to let the situation get the better of him. He had a job to do! He was the planet's self-proclaimed messiah after all! He couldn't let something like extreme loss of life and the scouring of everything he's ever known get to him! He was twelve years old; He wasn't a child any-more!

He swallowed to try and clear his dry, acrid throat and looked at his for-the-moment companion who was walking purposefully ahead of him. Dib couldn't help noticing, with the fires casting dramatic shadows over his face and his eyes glowing in the hard light, Zim was flourishing in the destruction.

It was as if it had lit a light up inside him and all that was the Irken Empire was reflecting off him. Power, hatred, violence and cruelty.

Dib shivered.

"So." He said trying to press the current reality from his mind. "How are we gonna find the DARU with all this…erm…" He waved his hand around at the scenery. "…badness."

Zim opened his mouth to answer but before he could say anything the night sky was sliced with long straight white lines in the distance.

First one, then two, three, eventually 5 glowing blades of light streaked the horizon ahead of them. The started to sway aback and forth. one of two of them fell down and disappear among the silhouettes of the buildings and the smoke but two remained swaying backwards and forwards as if caught in a breeze.

"Searchlights!" Dib exclaimed.

"You don't mean your Earth Militia is actually gonna try confront this thing do you?!" Zim scoffed with mortified amusement.

Dib watched the duo of lights.

"Well too bad for them." Zim said as he started to walk again. "At least they've shown us where it is."

Dib started to walk as well. A very bad feeling was growing in his stomach but he tried not to think about it. Easier said than done though as he could feel it squirming around like a venomous snake.

"Or rather where it's going to be." Zim said casually. "I don't hear any explosions yet."

"I have a bad feeling about this." Dib finally said.

Zim scoffed again. "Afraid of an over-sized toaster? Pathetic Earth creature."

"It's not that!" Dib snapped irritably. "It's…something else." He stared off at the lights again

Zim cocked an eye at him. Eventually he shrugged and turned his attentions back to the task at hand, which was trying to find their target.

The beams from the searchlights were coming closer and closer as they walked towards them.

They were about to turn a corner when Zim's hand shot out and pressed Dib against a wall stopping him.

Dib was about to protest by force of habit but stopped himself.

He peered past Zim who had also flattened himself against the wall and was staring at the street ahead of them.

There, tentacles writhing above and behind, was the DARU. Fire was reflecting off its steel plating making it look as if the robot itself was ablaze. The black of it's covering mixed with it's orange eyes and the mirrored flames made it looked like some sort of hell-spawn. The fact that it was currently standing over a freshly disposed of "unhelpful", blood and who knows what else connecting its bladed hands to the crumpled figure at its feet in long strings, didn't exactly lessen the effect.

Dib felt his heart start to race again. 10 years must've been taken off his life in this single day alone.

For a single fleeting instant he was very grateful to feel a living arm pinning him against the wall. Remembering it was Zim spoiled this a little though and he wished Zim would let him go already. It wasn't like he was gonna run out at the stupid thing like a berserker or something.

He wriggled slightly to try and give Zim this message.

His movement seemed to remind Zim what he was doing and the alien withdrew his arm.

"What now?" Dib whispered hoarsely

Zim nodded at the DARU. "Your planet's militia is situated down the street from here. They haven't spotted it yet. If we act now we can try and cripple it enough so that your pathetic Earth technology might actually be useful."

"You want us to just start shooting at it?!" Dib whispered back slightly panicked.

Zim pointed towards the other side of the street. "I'll distract it from this end, you keep shooting at it from behind. Your gun's slower than mine so hopefully he'll be more interested in me than you."

Dib pulled a confused face at this.

"Because two can do more damage than one! I need you so we can get this over with faster!!" Zim said annoyed. "Now focus! I'll lure it towards the blockade or whatever it is they've got waiting for this thing. You shoot from behind. Aim for it's armoured areas. If it needs to armour those areas it obviously means there's something it needs to protect under there."

Dib nodded. It sounded easy enough. Yeah. No big deal. They were just about to try and attack a robot from who knows where which has killed who knows how many people 2 of which he was personal witness to while trying not to get killed in a burning city that looked like a scene from Resident Evil with less Zombies and more fire. Simple.

So then why were his hands shaking?

"Steady…" Zim said, his knees bending slightly and his body visibly tensing

Dib clenched his hands around his weapon, his knuckles white.

"Steady…" Zim said again in exactly the same, monochromatic tone.

Dib bit his lip.

Zim stood stone-fast. The blazing surroundings feeling warm and almost soothing against his skin. Wretched planet with it's wretched humidity. May it always burn.

His eyes narrowed.

But he'd be damned if it wasn't him doing the burning. He'd been trapped in its twisted, primitive, ignorant, arrogant bowels for what seems like an eternity. He'd earned the right to its destruction. He'd earned the right. And no-one, not merciless robots or its unknown masters or it's damned Clanynites will take that from him.

"Go!" He commanded in a hoarse whisper before shooting forward, away from the wall and into the open, Dib left behind, his gun pinned to his chest.

---

The DARU knew perfectly well there was a blockade waiting for it at the end of the street, but as with everything else it would only focus on that once it becomes an immediate threat. They were not shooting yet, so they were not a problem right now. However, this planet's extreme lack of cooperation was starting to get on its, not nerves as it had none but something similar, circuits maybe. It was as if these primitive beings didn't care how stricken their planet became, or how many people it kills, as long as every surviving person was not a killed person they do not care about their brethren. It was a chaotic menagerie of selfish parasites, each looking out for themselves and no-one else. This had a sort of double blade effect, on the one hand it made it very easy to wreak complete and utter havoc and cause as much confusion and fear as possible, but on the other hand it meant that actually getting results was almost impossible. So far the robot had not received one scrap of information that'd get it closer to collect its prize. The amount of clanynites on this planet were miniscule at best, the scans had confirmed this, but how is it that no-one, not one single person, had so much as even heard of them? Forget what it was programmed for, the DARU was annoyed. It was a new sensation… and it didn't like it. The sensation was, frustrating.

It needed something to destroy, something fresh.

Perhaps that blockade could be useful to it after-all.

And then something scorched it's back

---

Zim mentally punched the air. Direct hit on the first try! Granted it didn't do any significant damage but Zim wasn't concerning himself with that right now. The DARU turned itself slowly, bending and placing its feet in position to face him. It regarded him without surprise or anger, it merely regarded him.

"Again you challenge me young irken." It said simply..

The smart thing to do at this point would be shoot the robot again, but Zim had never backed down from a verbal conflict before in his life and was sure as hell not about to start now. It wasn't so much a question of pride, or principle, or even anger. It was more habit than anything else. He'd never let dib win before.

Problem was, and Zim seemed to have forgotten this, Dib was only a child.

"Stop calling me young you… stupid… Stupidty Robot!!" And with this he fired again.

The DARU swished and sunk, dodging the bullet which carried on its course past its target and tore itself deeply into the building opposite. Brick and mortar crumbled and billowed down, causing the building to moan as if in agony.

Dib squeaked, rather embarrassingly, and backed off from the what was the safety of the wall, staring at it wide-eyed, the gun pressed tightly to his chest like some childhood teddy bear. He blinked at the stricken building just once before he returned his attention to the developing fight.

The DARU seemed to flow in place for a moment before it turned and struck forward at Zim with one of its coils. Zim swung himself out of the way, turned full circle, and brought the gun up to fire again. This time the glowing orb hit home, directly in the DARU's face with a blinding white throb. The robot was blinded for the smallest of instances, but Zim was ready to seize it and fired again, catching the robot on its exposed middle.

This was going well! Perhaps some fire-power was indeed all Zim had nee-

The second coil came arcing down and dug itself down into the dip between shoulder and neck. Zim gave a cry, more out of surprise than pain, and was knocked to the ground.

Curses! The second tentacle! He'd forgotten all about it.

He twisted himself onto his back painfully quick, swinging his gun onto his chest, aiming it at the DARU again and firing right away. It slid backwards on its feet and the shot missed its mark, leaving nothing but a smouldering line across its chest. The first tentacle writhed in the air like a dying eel before it suddenly seemed to gain purpose and threw itself at Zim.

The alien threw himself to his side, feeling a hot thread slip across his back as the tendril left a hairline cut before digging into the street.

He rolled over to deliver a shot at it. He needed to get back on his feet! But again the opportunity was lost as the other tentacle tried to skewer him. Zim reacted just in time, the panels on his pack sliding open and his long metallic Spider-legs smoothly slid out and pushed against the tar, allowing him to gain his footing.

There was a sound of fluid metal stiffening, and he lost his balance. One of his ankles was being pulled sideways by a coil that had found its mark.

Zim, for the very first time since the robot identified him an irken, panicked.

The free tentacle his snaking closer, going for his neck.

'It's going to strangle you.' The calm, barely listened to voice in his head told him. That was his pak wasn't it? 'it's going to snap it like a bread-stick.'

But instead the robot did what can only be described as a stumble, the advancing garrotte thrown off target as a blue crackle collided into the protective casing of its chest.

His ankle was loosened and Zim pulled it free immediately. Instinct over took curiosity and he delivered his own assault.

The machine staggered.

Zim crouched and sprinted for a better, less dangerous position. He turned his gaze just enough to get Dib into sight.

The boy was holding the gun under one arm, staring at the slightly steaming robot in absolute disbelief. He'd actually hit it! And he was still alive!

Luckily for him Zim wanted this little miracle to carry on longer and shouted at him. "Run or shoot but don't just stand there taking root Dib-filth!"

Dib tore his gaze from the twisting metal frame to blink stupidly at Zim.

"huh??"

"Get down!" Zim yelled suddenly wide-eyed.

This seemed to have the desired effect and Dib sprung aside just as the pavement where he stood was shattered in two.

"Fire again!" the green alien ordered, delivering another shot from himself as if in demonstration.

Stupid Earth creatures! For irkens battle was like opening every door in the system, every nerve, fibre and thought ran as if oiled and they become peaked in their efficiency. Humans it seems, merely became stupider. Although he had to admit, perhaps it was indeed the same thing. Irkens got more amazing, humans got more pathetic. It made sense.

Either way Dib seemed to gain some focus and nodded, getting ready to deliver another blow. The barrel of his gun starting its slow gyration a second time, growing in speed, the strange unearthly metal warming against him. Dib was sweating.

The gun went off .

The machine however had realised it was dealing with multiple targets and pounded out of the way, a scorched chrysanthemum burnt into a stone wall of what failed to be a clichéd gas station and what was instead a post office.

Dib drew a small breath at the failure.

Zim was about to give him another verbal kick but the robot was quicker.

The plasma coil was sliced into. Dib's hands fumbled and the weapon fell, hopelessly bent out of shape. Dib gave a cry and gripped his hand, one of the blades had given him a decent cut on the palm. But it was nothing compared to the cut he was about to get.

"Dib! Watch out for the-!"

The air tore, the coil thundered down, and then the world went white.

---

And… stayed white.

Dib flinched, his arms shielding his face and his eyes squeezed tight.

He was probably dead. I mean that's what happens right? A blinding white light, clouds, angels, the whole bit.

Funny though, he wasn't sure his wounded hand should still hurt if he was dead. Not to mention the smell hadn't improved much.

"You there. Offensive attacking force. Stand down now or we will be forced to return fire."

Dib frowned. He was definitely sure his dad wasn't supposed to be here if he was dead. Perhaps he should open his eyes.

He did so.

The world was still white, but it was also casting contrasting black shadows. The tentacle that was about to slice him in two was hovering in place a mere few inches above his (large) head. The DARU Had turned its attention away from him, staring at the blockade at the end of the street.

Dib turned to do the same but found he had to shield his eyes to do so.

A Search-light, military class, was flooding the scene. That's what the blinding white was, as for what had saved him…

"I repeat! Stand down or prepare for fire!"

Dib made a small strangled noise, partly out of fear but also out of great relief. Prof. Membrane was there! He was there! He said he was going to find a way to stop this thing and now he was here, threatening it!

It was a strange feeling for Dib, being so happy to see his father, but right now he really didn't care.

"Dad!" he cried as loud as he could, praying his voice would carry far enough. "Dad Shoot it! Shoot it now!"

The DARU twisted it's middle and withdrew its tentacle away from Dib, preparing to face the blockade. At the blockade a third warning was being yelled, but the low throb of machinery warming up had joined it. The Cannon was preparing for fire.

The white light seemed to intensify as the searchlight was joined by another rapidly growing light-source.

The Next thing Dib heard though was not his father giving the last warning, nor the DARU's mechanical limbs grating as it attacked, it was a cry from Zim, almost forgotten.

"Dib get away!!"

He started at the realisation that the Irkling was still there and turned to face him. "What?!"

Zim looked almost panic-stricken as he appeared to be scrambling out of the street to the nearest still-standing wall.

"Get away!! They're going to shoot! They're going to shoot and we're in the way!"

Dib's legs reacted before his brain caught up with what was happening. He turned and, following Zim's lead, slammed his back against the nearest building that appeared to more or less still be a building.

There was a deafening tinny scream from the unknown weapon and a river of blue and white light ripped through the street right where he had been a few seconds before. His eyes stung with the light and forced themselves shut. His coat gained a life of its own and writhed around him in the wind with a painful flapping noise, his Dib-swish on his head following suit. He could feel dust and smoke bombard his face and hands and any other skin-exposed area. Like the beach on a windy day when you're wearing nothing but shorts. It was loud. It was bright. It was painful.

It was over.

Dib hesitantly opened his eyes and blinked in the over-whelming silence. His breath seemed reluctant to work properly and insisted on coming out in small, sharp rasps. He looked to the street. The tar had been uprooted and thrown around so that bare earth marked a line from the blockade to the horizon opposite it. The blockade stood silent and still, it's occupants frozen in anticipation. Zim was standing staring at the street himself. Something had cut a bloody line along his jaw but he seemed oblivious to it. Dib could feel one of his own cheeks heating up and starting to prickle. But all this was being ignored. It wasn't important. Not now, not yet.

In the street lay a small disjointed heap.

It was steaming.

It was moving.

It uncurled and got up.

Dib's shoulders spasmed. "That's not fair…"

---

The DARU shook itself dog-like. Soot smoke and dust rained off of it. It pulled itself up to its full height. A small, trilling metallic noise was heard coming from the back of its throat. Resistance! Never, on all the worlds its ravaged has it ever encountered such stubbornness! Such arrogance! To think that they, these primitive ingrates, could even begin to think that they and their weapons were any sort of match for it would've been laughable if it wasn't so infuriating! And now they've had the gal to challenge its strength! And not only that but they sent their younglings, younglings, as a distraction! This was unheard of! And that wasn't the only thing that was unheard of. This feeling, this itch it was feeling. Yes Feeling! Not simply processing or contemplating but truly feeling. It knew it had a built in stress simulator that enables it to do the job as fast as possible but this was stress simulation gone hay wire! And maybe Hay wire was exactly the word. But that didn't seem to matter right now. All it wanted to focus on was relieving this anger inside it. This was not a good feeling. It wasn't productive!

It swivelled its eyes around angrily. Something to tear! Something to break!

Zim was staring at this writhing new anger the DARU seems to have found. His heart was racing in his chest and in his pak. The whirring of the mechanical pump adding to his rapid breathing. It wasn't dead! How could it not be dead that blast was harder than an Irken Battle tank! …well, obviously not THAT powerful but it was pretty impressive. Especially for these filthies! It wasn't suppose to be alive! It wasn't suppose to be alive! It wasn't suppose to.. be.. looking right at.. …him….

The DARU made an infuriated noise, like metal grinding over itself. This Green child, who wasn't even suppose to BE in this quadrant had been pestering it and hampering it and simply defying it since it got here! If anything was going to act as a stress reliever it might as well be him.

Zim fumbled with his weapon, swinging it in front of himself and aimed directly at what was very fast becoming a great threat to his immediate, and frankly mortal future. The DARU's bird-like legs rose and fell as it pounded towards him, tentacles arching and twisting above its head. Zim Pulled on the trigger, and amazing and almost astounding amount of nothing happened.

He blinked and squeezed the trigger again with the same result. He muttered some harsh irken words to himself and turned the gun on its side, inspecting the gauge which read empty. Taking his eyes off the robot probably wasn't the best idea though as the next moment something entangled itself around his neck, rather tightly, and pinned him against the wall which a moment ago had been his support against the blast. Pinned turned out to be the wrong word though, because what the bladed HAND did next more accurately displayed how something is "pinned". The two long razors were thrust into his collar-bone, piercing skin and slicing deeply into him. Zim didn't scream. He gave a breathless yelp before gritting his teeth but he did not scream. He wasn't about to give the robot the satisfaction. He could feel his uniform start to cling around the wound as it bled out. He tried to wrench himself free but the scraping sensation this caused along with a deep burst of pain forced him to stop faster than any words from the DARU ever could. Zim forced his eyes to focus themselves and turned as spiteful a gaze as he could on his captor. The DARU's yellow-gold eyes shone back. It made another metallic warble, but this time out of amusement.

"You continue to hamper my progress young Irken."

Zim tried his best to put as much venom into his voice as he could. "I told you to stop calling me young! I'm not a," He winced "a child! And further more that large cannon was not Zim's idea because if it were … you'd be dead!" He gritted his teeth again against the pain.

The DARU, in response, twisted its arm slightly to the left. Zim couldn't hold it back this time. He let out a constricted cry.

Dib was watching this in mute horror from his spot on the opposite side of the ex-street. What the hell was his father doing! Not that Prof. Membrane's cannon would help Zim much with the DARU practically attached to him but Dib was way past the point of rational thought. The Robot was still alive. His dad had let him down, failed him. Not only was the alien machine still fully functional it was going to go off and kill people again. It was going to kill people and this time it was going to start with some-one he actually knew. Yes there was the kid at school but that was just a kid at school. A random face in a background of identical faces who only grew into individuals when they moved forward to taunt and sneer at him. But this wasn't just a bully he knew by name this was… Zim. No he did not like him. He could barely tolerate him on the good days. But Zim wasn't a mindless bully he was… what was he exactly? A challenge perhaps? He wasn't going to use the word "rival". There was too much comradery in that word and if there was one thing Zim was not it was his frie-

Zim's cry interrupted his thought train and he snapped back to reality.

Whatever Zim was he was a person who Dib knew. probably better than any-one. And if Dib did not intervene he was going to be dead. The mangled remains of his gun were nowhere to be found and Zim's own weapon was currently lying directly in-between his attacker's legs. But from what Dib saw it was out of ammo anyway. He scanned the immediate area frantically. The yells and calls of the blockade had caught up with him and he could hear the arguments and possible fist fight that only a failed plan can bring. A second cannon blast wasn't coming to their aid. There had to be something he could use! He dared to look back to Zim and the robot.

The blades were still buried deep into him. A black-green liquid was soaking more and more of his red shirt. Zim was bleeding and badly by the looks of it. His face was paling, becoming ashen. His hands were shaking on the robot's arm where he was making a futile attempt to pry it off of him. Dib ducked down and grabbed the first thing his hand wrapped around before he straightened and hurled it as hard as he could at the metal face. It hit its target perfectly. Dib made a victorious noise, he might as well have cried out "I did it!" and painted a giant X on his giant forehead.

The DARU whipped its head around so fast it was in danger of snapping its neck. Dib's victory was cut short as he realised he'd just gained the thing's undivided attention. It tore its blades out of the small irken and left him to fall to a broken heap. Dib's eyes flickered on him fo a moment. He was too late. Zim lay unmoving where he'd fallen, his antennae were dangling limply from his head and the patch of blood had grown to cover the whole half of his right side. Dib felt sick.

The Robot thrusted forward with a coil but Dib instinctively flattened himself against the ground but the second coil was already on him, twisting itself tight around a wrist and hauling him off his feet into the air. Dib flailed panic stricken but to no avail. His gaze locked itself on that of the robot. His glasses were clouding up as he panted. One of his eyes suddenly stung sharply as blood from his cut cheek trickled into it. He struggled again, shutting his eyes and screaming at the top of his voice. "Dammit Zim you can't die after I've saved your life!! YOU OWE ME!"

The DARU pulled back its arm, blades level with his eyes. Dib could feel his throat tie knots in itself. Blood was throbbing in his ears. And he could feel tears sting his eyes. There was a swift but brutal movement and an ear-splitting crack.

---

Dib's eyes sprang open at the noise just in time to see the shattered remains of Zim's gun fall from the alien's hands. Zim fell of his leap ill balanced and collapsed to his hands and knees. His gun broken to its very core whose amber liquid was spilling into the dirt. Dib felt the moment slowly unfreeze and the coil around his wrist letting him go. His legs gave out when he hits the ground and he fell to a sit, staring at the DARU who was turning back to Zim. It was doing so slowly as Zim was still on his hands and knees, his antennae quivering in sync with his arms. The DARU stood facing the irken's curved back and for a moment a morbid recollection of a move entered Dib's mind where executioner stood before a kneeled victim. Zim didn't make any motions to defend himself and Dib knew there were no more heroics left for either of them to pull. At least he could say he died saving the planet for the umpteenth time. That was bound to give him some credit with…. Whoever he was going to meet up with.

The DARU stood over Zim and for a moment Dib thought it was merely trying to decide the best and quickest way to finish him off, but it appeared that the robot was more interested in the fragments of his gun than with Zim himself. Dib couldn't help but find himself curious. He doubted the machine was marvelling at the craftsmanship.

The DARU turned its gaze back to Zim.

"…So. It appears my target has been eliminated." It said monochromatically.

Dib made a nonsensical noise in confusion which Zim mirrored by raising his head to look at the DARU, one of his eyes shut tight as he struggled to keep himself conscious. The DARU straightened itself and took one or two steps away from both Zim and the broken weapon.

"However, we are still in need or a Clanynite supply, but I feel confident that my masters will be pleased with my discovery"

Zim spat and Dib couldn't help but be impressed that, despite a crippling wound and severe blood loss Zim managed to give the DARU the same look of testation he was use to getting at least 3 times a day.

"Should I be feeling proud to have smashed every ounce of sense from your filthy head?"

The robot paused, regarding Zim calmly. He then turned his eyes to the liquid seeping from the gun. "…Your weapon's power supply, who designed it?"

Zim gurgled a reply but Dib couldn't make it out. The lights in Zim's eyes where busy blurring.

The DARU didn't seem to care though, it took another step away from them. "I feel thanks are in order… young Irken" It added with cold smugness. "When we learned the Vortian nation had been decimated we really had a hard time finding another species who used clanynite technology as a power source." And this is the point of the story where the villain gives an evil grimace, which the DARU could not do with no face. "Irk, Ally to the Vort and partner to its scientific methods. Oh yes. My masters will be pleased."

There was a synthetic noise and the DARU dissolved into a green lined grid before disappearing.

High above the planet, unknown and undetected, the sinister ship reclaimed its cargo and prepared itself for departure.

Dib stared blankly at the now vacant spot where the DARU had only moments ago been standing, not daring to believe it was gone. He half expected it to reappear and slaughter them all, but it failed to do so. Behind him he could hear things that will later be labelled as "a great victory for Membrane enterprises" happening. Soldiers were moving towards the spot where the robot had stood, most likely wanting to get into a good position before any surviving paparazzi arrived. Dib's shoulders sagged. Let them. Please just let them. All he wanted now was to have the adults handle adult matters. Leave him to go home and crawl to bed, preferably under it, an d just lie there for the rest of eternity and trick himself to thinking none of this nightmare ever happened.

As the soldiers ran closer something suddenly grabbed hold of his coat. In a flash of panic he almost smacked it away but caught himself in time. Zim's large, mauve eyes were boring into him as the irken clutched at his clothes imploringly.

"Hide me!"

Dib raised his eyes from the green-skinned, pink eyed, bleeding alien to the fast approaching Earth Militia and their big guns. He gave a quick nod.

"Put your arm over me."

---

told you so

"Shut up." Zim grumbled at his computer with as much annoyance as he could gather. He flinched as a sudden jab of pain shot through him. "and be more careful!"

The computer pulled back in its robotic arm slightly, retracting its instrument from the wound.

Well if you'd listened to me in the first place I wouldn't have to be so careful!

It retorted bad temperedly.

Zim merely grumbled and lay his head back down on the medi-bed, leaving the computer and his pak to their work.

Too many things had happened today to his liking, not least of which was the humiliation of passing out and having to be carried home by the Dib-filth. Oh such filth that boy had! Still. He did carry Zim home despite having a clear advantage over him. He could've easily captured him, or even better just left him at the mercy of the Earth Elite. He frowned lightly in confusion at the memory. No matter how he tried to wrack his irken brain he couldn't see any reason for the pig-stink to have done this. Even more frustrating was the question as to why he saved Zim from the DARU when he could easily have made his escape while it was finishing him off? In fact why did he save Zim the FIRST time before they'd even agreed to call a truce? Zim made a growling noise. He knew why Dib did it! He did it to frustrate Zim to his very core in trying to figure it out! Damn him.

What was he expecting? That Zim suddenly have a moment of soul searching at having his moral positions on Dib and the Earth challenged and thereby perhaps, just for a moment, consider giving up his mission and betray the Irken Empire??

The Irken Empire which was, at the moment, targeted by a devastating force wanting to harvest their power source.

Zim groaned. He had warned The Tallest of the threat the minute he'd regained consciousness but they didn't seem highly concerned. They'd been snickering.

Of course, it must be that the Irken Empire already had a weapon to stop the DARU and its masters in their tracks. That must be it.

The computer interrupted his thoughts.

So, How come the monkey was dragging you home?

Zim swore silently. He was not in the mood for this.

"I asked him to."

and he just agreed? Last I saw the two of you were merely not killing each other. Now suddenly you're having him roll over to help you?

Zim gave an exasperated sigh. "He did what I asked because I saved his ass-meats from the walking sparkplug."

Oh. That was nice of you.

"I did it because he saved mine!" He winced and lay down again. "Zim will not be in debt to any alien-monsters."

…So, why did he save you?

"Just shut up and finish. I have some serious sleep to catch up on."

---

The second one hit him in the head.

Dib turned his head to the other side of the class where Zim was grimacing at him from over a straw. He wasn't even trying to be sneaky about it!

Dib muttered to himself irritably before turning back to his textbook and tried to force his brain to accept a typo Miz Bitters was refusing to contradict. A blimp floated across the city-skape with a large picture of Prof. Membrane on it and the neon words "Our Hero" flickering underneath it. He'd gotten a lengthy lecture about leaving the house after being told not to as well as a few snippy remarks from Gaz once he'd returned home that day two weeks ago. He'd been to tired to care. He didn't even write a report of the incident to the Swollen Eyeballs. He'd simply flopped down ontop of the bed and slept. The next few days saw his father away receiving heroic medals from the Mayor and giving interviews for TV chat shows which left him and Gaz to their own devices. Gaz was treating the incident as nothing more but an interesting story that had been on the news. Interesting but not important. Dib had spent the time searching the database of Tak's ship for any information on the DARU Zim might have forgotten but had found nothing useful. He'd eventually settled for merely enjoying the few days off of school and watching the restoration of the city on TV over whatever take-out was sufficing for supper that evening.

He hadn't seen Zim in all this time, not had he heard from him. He'd also been absent the first three days of school once it re-opened and for a short time Dib had wondered if he hadn't died of his wounds after all. He was still out cold when Dib had left his base and made back for home that day. But here he was, back in his normal seat an d pestering Dib's existence as if nothing had happened. The only evidence that he'd received so much as a scratch was, Dib had noticed, he was writing with his left hand. His right was obviously still bothering him.

The Bell rang for lunch (Causing one or two of the other children to start and one of them to wet their pants).

Zim exited the classroom and started to make his way to the cafeteria.

Dib pushed past him, giving him a small jab with an elbow as revenge for the spit ball.

Zim made an angry noise.

"Don't push your luck Dib! My arm still hurts but my spider-legs work fine!"

"Really?" Dib retorted.

"Yes!"

"Well then…" Dib gave a flippant shrug. "I'll have to watch my step won't I?"

He sped up and hurried to the cafeteria alone.

"By the way Zim; Arts and Crafts next period."

Zim grinned menacingly at the boy's back.

"Wouldn't miss it for it for the world Dib"

Dib trudged on, walking into the only partly completed cafeteria, hoping that taste of plaster wasn't going to be too strong in the food today.

So, Zim was not going to play any "in debt" cards for saving Dib's life. Then again he didn't seem to show any interest in acknowledging Dib saving his either. It was probably better that way. It kept things uncomplicated.

He'd been calling Dib by name recently though.

It was hardly gratitude, but for Dib, it was still highly gratifying.

"Sandwiches again today" Gaz complained when he sat down next to her.

"Make sure we've got a good view of Zim then." He replied.