Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Hogwarts belongs to J.K Rowling, but Pinkie the Squirrel and all his Squirrel buddies belongs to me. Dont steal.
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It all started one day when Harry Potter got bored. It was a Saturday afternoon at Hogwarts and he had nothing to do.
Harry had been stuck in the 5th year for three years now. Harry had usually been a good student, but he had requested to stay behind. Graduating bored him. After all, this was the only place he had been truly happy. His friends, however, were long gone. Instead of holding back, Hermione Granger had skipped ahead and Ron Weasly had simply dropped out of school to join his two older brothers in opening a joke shop. So, for the moment, Harry was alone.
He decided to go for a walk. Grabbing his cloak, he dashed down the Griffyndor corridor and through the grand hall. Out on the grounds, Harry paused briefly to say hello to the squid that lived in the lake, and headed off to the Forbidden Forest.
Harry had become great friends with the squid of Hogwarts. He spent hours at the lake's edge, talking to it. Lately people had been giving him quizzical regards, so he had taken to wearing his Coat of Invisibility. Harry spent hours on end chatting pointlessly about the most retarded of subjects. He was well aware that the squid wasn't listening, but that was besides the point.
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Pinkie the squirrel was having a normal day. Bouncing around in the trees, annoying the Unicorns, eating and collecting nuts. While digging a hole to bury his prized stash in, he was deeply, DEEPLY startled when a boy came and stomped on his tail! The boy was wearing a Hogwarts scarf. Yes, thought Pinkie. It must be that trouble-making school again. Numerous times, mischievous students had come invading his snooze hour giggling and looking all fussed up about something. Anyway, his tail was sore now, and Pinkie wanted revenge.
He rounded up his gang of squirrel and chipmunk friends and told them his plan.
A minute later, Pinkie and friends had gathered in a bush, watching Harry's every move. "Okay, it's affirmative. He suspects nothing." Pinkie took a moment to laugh insanely. Some of his rodent friends started to back away nervously. "So, when I say so, Perky and the others will lead the leg attack. All you have to do is scratch on his legs as hard as you can. Chippy, stop acting like a turdmonkey. I know perhaps you're all a little nervous. Squeakie, you and the rest can pelt him-HARD-with our backup supply of acorns. And I myself will take the pleasure of gouging his eyes out!"
"Uh, sir, you know the Squirrel's code of conduct. We are not allowed to touch the human's eyes. It will most certainly cause a war between the two races. You do not want to be held responsible, do you?" A knowledgeable squirrel enquired.
Slightly disappointed, Pinkie said: "Very well, carry on with the attack. THREE TWOONEATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And after that, all was a blur of flying acorns and biting, scratching squirrels. Hours later Harry emerged from the forest, vowing never, ever to go into that forest again. And for weeks to come Harry stayed locked up in Gryffindor Tower , muttering about the squirrels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It all started one day when Harry Potter got bored. It was a Saturday afternoon at Hogwarts and he had nothing to do.
Harry had been stuck in the 5th year for three years now. Harry had usually been a good student, but he had requested to stay behind. Graduating bored him. After all, this was the only place he had been truly happy. His friends, however, were long gone. Instead of holding back, Hermione Granger had skipped ahead and Ron Weasly had simply dropped out of school to join his two older brothers in opening a joke shop. So, for the moment, Harry was alone.
He decided to go for a walk. Grabbing his cloak, he dashed down the Griffyndor corridor and through the grand hall. Out on the grounds, Harry paused briefly to say hello to the squid that lived in the lake, and headed off to the Forbidden Forest.
Harry had become great friends with the squid of Hogwarts. He spent hours at the lake's edge, talking to it. Lately people had been giving him quizzical regards, so he had taken to wearing his Coat of Invisibility. Harry spent hours on end chatting pointlessly about the most retarded of subjects. He was well aware that the squid wasn't listening, but that was besides the point.
*******************************
Pinkie the squirrel was having a normal day. Bouncing around in the trees, annoying the Unicorns, eating and collecting nuts. While digging a hole to bury his prized stash in, he was deeply, DEEPLY startled when a boy came and stomped on his tail! The boy was wearing a Hogwarts scarf. Yes, thought Pinkie. It must be that trouble-making school again. Numerous times, mischievous students had come invading his snooze hour giggling and looking all fussed up about something. Anyway, his tail was sore now, and Pinkie wanted revenge.
He rounded up his gang of squirrel and chipmunk friends and told them his plan.
A minute later, Pinkie and friends had gathered in a bush, watching Harry's every move. "Okay, it's affirmative. He suspects nothing." Pinkie took a moment to laugh insanely. Some of his rodent friends started to back away nervously. "So, when I say so, Perky and the others will lead the leg attack. All you have to do is scratch on his legs as hard as you can. Chippy, stop acting like a turdmonkey. I know perhaps you're all a little nervous. Squeakie, you and the rest can pelt him-HARD-with our backup supply of acorns. And I myself will take the pleasure of gouging his eyes out!"
"Uh, sir, you know the Squirrel's code of conduct. We are not allowed to touch the human's eyes. It will most certainly cause a war between the two races. You do not want to be held responsible, do you?" A knowledgeable squirrel enquired.
Slightly disappointed, Pinkie said: "Very well, carry on with the attack. THREE TWOONEATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And after that, all was a blur of flying acorns and biting, scratching squirrels. Hours later Harry emerged from the forest, vowing never, ever to go into that forest again. And for weeks to come Harry stayed locked up in Gryffindor Tower , muttering about the squirrels.