Friday's Mail
Ash 2001/09/18

Author's Notes:
Welcome to my one-shot outer senshi fanfic.
Unless you've been subjected to a game called "Pass the Pigs", its doubtful you'll enjoy this one. But hey, what do I know? People enjoy Yugioh, and it's a show about how to play a card game. So I guess people will look anywhere for entertainment these days-- and it's that kind of "anywhere" entertainment I offer you below.
Review at your leisure.

Begin story now.

The sun shone happily on the outer senshi home in Japan one friday morning. Normally they'd all be going to their respective weekday destinations, but, for the sake of the story, it was a holiday, observed by all school, fashion, science, music, and racing (both car and other) related facilities around Japan. It was the feast of Maximum Occupancy, I do believe.

Early in the morning, at about 8:30am, Haruka wandered out to get the mail. The postal service was efficient; a fresh pile of envelopes, flyers and such were stacked neatly in the shiny mailbox. She pulled the pile out, shut the box door, and wandered back inside in the same unhurried manner as she'd come.

Back inside the house, Haruka set the mail on the kitchen counter and, while sipping her morning coffee, began sorting junk from goodies: water bill, electricity bill, concert tickets she'd ordered, a letter for Setsuna from work, an advertisement for the opening of a clock shop, a small brown package, a magazine Hotaru had a subscription to, a newsletter from--

"What's this?" Haruka asked herself, staring at the brown package on the counter.

"What's what?" Michiru asked, entering the room, tea in hand.

"This brown package was in the mail this morning."

"Hmm... well, it's addressed to you, so..." Michiru pointed out. "Did you order anything from... Canada?"

"I don't think so." She pondered it for a while beside Michiru.

"Ohayou, Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama!" Hotaru greeted, skipping in. "Did the mail come yet?"

"Yes. Your magazine arrived." Haruka told her daughter, handing it to her.

"Yay!" Hotaru beamed, clutching her prize. "Thank you! Hey, what's that?"

"We don't know. It came for your Haruka-papa this morning."

Hotaru peered at the package, interested.

"Ohayou gozaimasu." Setsuna wandered sleepily into the kitchen and headed for the coffee maker. "Anything interesting in the mail?"

"Sort of." Haruka told her, still visually inspecting the parcel.

"Hmm." The guardian of time said, acknowledging her reply, pouring her coffee into a mug. Straight black, as always.

"Ah, and a letter came for you!" Michiru informed her, sifting through the rest of the mail on the counter.

"Ah." Setsuna said, as if expecting to have received a letter that day. Knowing Setsuna, she probably had. She joined the other three in looking at the plain brown package addressed to "Tenoh Haruka-sama", sent par avion all the way from Canada.

Ten minutes went by.

"You think it's a bomb?" Haruka asked, eyeing it more cautiously now. "You know, from a crazed fan or something?"

"It's not a bomb." Setsuna said with all certainty.

"Maybe it's a book or a video, or a box of chocolates?" Hotaru suggested, poking the parcel.

"Why is there no customs sticker on it?" Questioned Michiru, unaware, as everyone else was (except for maybe Setsuna-sama), that the author has no use for customs processes when sending gifts to anime characters, and thus chooses to omit said processes entirely.

"Hmm..." Haruka gazed suspiciously at the parcel.

Ten minutes went by.

"Why don't you just open it, Haruka-papa?" Hotaru poked it again.

"Yea, I could--" Haruka said, moving to open it, when Michiru snatched it out of her hands.

"Wait, wait!" She said, shaking it up near her ear. Slight rattling, but not much. Haruka went to grab it, but the aqua-haired girl moved away, shaking near her ear again.

"Michiru, let me open it." Haruka failed to retrieve it again. "Michiru, what are you--"

"No no, wait!" Michiru called, running to the other side of the kitchen. Shake shake shake, she shook it again. She tried feeling through the paper for any kind of form. She dodged Haruka again, but the next time the blond managed to catch her around the waist.

"Michiru, give me my package please."

"No, wait, I--"

"Michiru, just give her the thing." Setsuna said, an air of premonition around her. "It's not that."

Michiru stopped.

"No?"

"No. That will come in 3 weeks, addressed to YOU, and Haruka won't see it for another 2. Yes, Michiru, I'll conveniently work late that night, and Hotaru will stay over with ChibiUsa-chan. Buy more maple syrup."

"Ah." Michiru blushed. "Thank you, Setsuna."

"And while we're on the topic, the blank tapes are on the SECOND shelf, not the first. Stay away from my X-files tapes!"

"Y-yes. Thank you, Setsuna."

"Michiru?" Haruka asked. "Why are you blushing? What's in 5 weeks?"

"Anniversary, baka." Michiru replied, tapping her lightly on the head with her parcel.

"... ah."

"Anyway, open the package." Setsuna told them, sipping her coffee.

"Do you know what it is?" Michiru asked.

"I know what it isn't."

"Haruka-papa!" Hotaru urged, impatient.

Haruka carefully tore the paper, emptying the contents onto the counter. A small case skittered out, a note taped to it. Michiru peeled the note off and opened it.

"'Haruka-sama'," She read out loud, ""Here's a cute little game I think you'll enjoy. Simply write your names above one score column respectively on a score sheet, then using the score card, roll the pigs like dice and score yourself accordingly. Try it out with Michiru-tachi. Enjoy! -Ash'"

“’Pass the Pigs?’” Hotaru examined the inside of the case, “Hey, cute! I want to play! Can we?”

“I guess so…” Haruka replied, still a bit confused.

“Who’s this ‘Ash’ person?” Michiru teased, “Ne, ‘Haruka-sama’?”

“A fan, most likely.” With a slight mockingly-arrogant air Haruka brought the game to the kitchen table. Michiru poked her in the ribs for it as she sat in the chair next to her.

“Come play, Setsuna-mama!” Hotaru was already seated with her other two parents and was bouncing with anticipation. She smiled at the groggy one in the robe across the room. “Come on!” Setsuna sighed.

“Okay, but I already know the outcome.”

“Yay!” Hotaru held the little rubber pigs in her hand happily. “May I go first?”

“Sure,” Michiru said to her daughter as she wrote the names of the players on the score sheet. “I’ll keep score.”

Hotaru rolled the pigs. One stood on all four legs on stopping. The other lay on its back.

“That’s… a ‘trotter’ and a ‘razorback’. 10 points!”

“Alright!” Hotaru squealed, passing the pigs left to Haruka. “Your turn!”

Haruka rolled—one pig standing and one pig on its side. 5 points. Michiru rolled next, who got the combination Hotaru had, earning herself 10 points. Setsuna’s turn came next, in which she scored a pig on its back and a pig on its side.

“One razorback… 5 points.” Michiru announced as she marked on the score sheet.

“Hooray for me.” Setsuna took another sip of her coffee and handed the pigs left to Hotaru. “Go, sweetie.”

Hotaru rolled as Setsuna had and, pleased, passed the pigs again to Haruka.

“Okay, here we go!” The blond tossed the pigs to the table and watched as both landed on their sides, one displaying a little black dot.

“Oh no, you lost all your points,” Michiru informed her, picking up the pigs and taking her turn. “Ooh, razorback for me. 5 points.”

“Let me see that!” Haruka grabbed the scoring guide and scowled at it. “Che…”

“Setsuna rolled, getting a trotter double, earning herself 20 points. Hotaru followed with a 5-point roll. Haruka, still casting angry glares at the scoring guide, managed a razorback and won her original 5 points back.

“Ah, an oinker.” Michiru sighed as the pigs stopped for her. She added a single point to her score and passed to Setsuna, who distractedly tossed the pigs to the table.

“Sugoi, Setsuna-mama! Another trotter double!” Hotaru beamed, “That’s another 20 points!” Hotaru then continued with her turn, rolling both pigs onto their sides. No black dots were visible and her score was therefore left the same.

“Mou, unlucky.” Pouted hotaru.

“Not as unlucky as me, Hime-chan.” Haruka commented, rolling a 1-point combo. Michiru rolled next, landing one pig leaning on its nose.

“A snouter. That’s 10 points.” She said, marking it down. Setsuna only got one trotter this time. Hotaru, however, landed a double razorback, a combo worth 20 points.

“Yay!” She exclaimed, clapping her hands in celebration.

“Woo!” Haruka shouted, rolling a snouter as Michiru had. “I’m catching up to you, Michiru!”

“Not for long, you aren’t.” Michiru countered, mirroring the blonde’s roll.

Setsuna rolled a zero-pointer and handed the pigs to Hotaru, who earned another 10 points. Haruka’s turn yielded another 1-point addition.

“I can still win!” Haruka assured, passing the pigs to Michiru, who only smiled. They were past the half-way mark in the game; the only way Haruka could win would be for everyone else to lose their points. Or perhaps for Haruka to score obscenely high while the others scored poorly, which, quite frankly, wasn’t happening.

Michiru rolled a double razorback, adding 20 points to her previous score of 36. Setsuna rolled a trotter, as did Hotaru after her.

In some miracle Haruka rolled a snouter, adding 10 to the 17 points she’d managed to keep.

Michiru rolled a trotter.

Setsuna rolled a 1-point combo.

Hotaru followed her Setsuna-mama’s trend again.

Haruka gained another 5 points.

Michiru rolled a snouter.

Setsuna acquired another 10 points.

“And that’s the game.” Michiru announced, already adding up the totals.

“Wow, that was quick.” Haruka commented, leaning back.

“Hotaru, you got 56.” Michiru told her daughter, who looked pleased at her results. “Setsuna, you got 66. I got 71… and Haruka, you rang in at 31.”

“Congratulations, Michiru-mama!” Hotaru hugged the woman in question before making her way to her low-scoring parent. “You did good, Haruka-papa. It was a good game.”

“Thanks, Hime-chan.” Haruka smiled, hugging her daughter. “You did good too.”

The moonlight shone through the window of the large bedroom Haruka and Michiru shared. Other than that faint light the room was dark as dark could be, as it should be at 2 in the morning. The rhythmic breathing of sleeping persons was all that could be heard.

Suddenly the bedside lamp clicked on.

“Michiru,” Haruka whispered, tapping the aqua-haired girl on the shoulder. “Michiru.”

Michiru stirred. She winced at the harsh lamplight and turned over in bed.

“Mm… what is it?”

“Oh, Michiru, you’re awake.” The blond feigned surprise.

“You turned on the light and tapped me.” Michiru stated, her lack of amusement evident.

“Well, since you’re awake… one more game?” Haruka pleaded, the small black case in from the morning before in her hand. “I’ll win this time, I know it.”

“Haruka, it’s two in the morning!” Michiru groaned, turning out the light. “We have school in the morning. Go back to sleep.”

Click. “But Michiru, I’m feeling lucky.”

“Apparently.” Click.

Click. “Please?”

Click. “NO!”

Haruka snuck down the hallway stealthily, avoiding the known creaky spots in the floor. She came quickly to Setsuna’s door. Switching the case to her other hand, she raised a fist to knock.

“No, Haruka. Go back to bed.” Setsuna called from inside, not bothering to let her knock before turning her down.

Haruka knew better than to try again. She also knew not to try Hotaru, as she had violin lessons later on. That, and the Michiru factor. Haruka sighed, and decided to watch a video instead to try to get her mind off the game. Maybe something Sci-fi.

“And stay away from my X-Files tapes!”

Owari.