Disclaimer note: I don't own it. Nor do I own Tourniquet, Evanescence does.
Summary: "My brain teases me. I daydream often that I am with Ginny. I can't handle it anymore. I can't take the pain of seeing her with him. She would never love me." He wrote those words alone in the common room. No one would ever understand. ONE SHOT, COMPLETED
Tourniquet
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
'My brain teases me. I daydream often that I am with Ginny. I can't handle it anymore. I can't stand seeing her with him. She would never love me. I can not get the courage to tell her how much I love her. She's my world, but a world that is only in my mind. How could I tell her when she doesn't even know that I don't hate her? I've been in love with her ever since I first saw her, and I've decided that I can't take the pain anymore. She doesn't even notice me, which hurts the most.'
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
'I had my chance to ask her out. It was before the Yull Ball, but I couldn't get the courage to do so. People would look at me and think that because I'm Draco Malfoy I can get anything or anyone that I want; however this situation is different. I can't stand not knowing what she thinks of me. I can't take it anymore, and I have finally found the answer to my situation.'
My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
'In fact, I'm holding the answer in my right hand; a dagger that I bought in a Muggle shop. I can't go on knowing that she will never love me as much as I love her, and so crying inside just thinking about it. Scratch that; I'm crying out loud. I thank the gods that no one is around me. I would be teased if they came in and saw me crying. They just wouldn't understand. Pansy wouldn't either she's just a Slytherin slut. Wait, I take that back, she's the Hogwarts slut.'
Do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me?
'The dagger's my best friend. It's the only one that truly understands. It won't ridicule me for feeling this way for her.' He realized he couldn't handle it anymore after reading what he wrote, and he took the dagger, placing it to his left wrist.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
'My last thoughts are for Ginny. If someone finds this, please make sure it is given to her, because I couldn't find out how to tell her my feelings in spoken words. I couldn't take the pain anymore.'
My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
He gathered up his strength and allowed the dagger to dig into his left wrist, making a small hole about the size of a sickle. He let out a short scream from his mouth, shut his eyes, and scrunched up his face. Tears continued to flow. 'So this is what death feels like.' His hand began to go numb.
My wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
He tried to cut the right wrist, but he realized that had to put one more thought down in his journal.
'To Miss Ginny Weasley,
I have loved you ever since I first met you. Please don't cry for my death. You never knew how much you meant to me, and I'm sad to say that is my fault. I couldn't tell you; I feared that you would just laugh at me and walk away; I can't handle not having you as my own any more.
I loved you with all my heart until the day I died.
Love forever and always,
Draco Malfoy'
With that, he cut his right wrist and watched his own blood fall like rain to the floor making a pool around him. 'Only a few more seconds to life; I will be taken away from this hellhole and never be able to be tortured again. Three more seconds. I can see the light; I can feel pain no more. I love you Ginny Weasley forever and always.'
Will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
Draco's body lay in his Slytherin bed chambers. A pool of his own blood surrounded him. He finally surrendered to his pain; his lifeless body eagerly waited for someone to find it.
Author's note: I'm sorry it was so sad; I just had to write it. I was really sad when I wrote this story and reread it. I was inspired to write it with the first paragraph forming in my head. I felt that Draco could play the character that kills himself. If you're wondering, Ginny never finds out how much he loved her. Please let me know what you thought by reviewing.