To put it simply, Sakura was weirded out.

When she had finished her mission, healing this Village out in the middle of nowhere, all she had wanted to do was go home, take a long warm shower and sleep in her soft mattress. Then wake up at the crack of dawn to help out at the hospital as she was the head-medic after all (Booyah suck that Sasuke)

Instead she was stuck here. With a old, creepy lady praising her every move and shoving a bottle of "Super-Duper Romantic Empowering Love-Capturing Cupid's Kiss Sure to assure that your Love Interest is Captured" and wanting her to take it.

Sakura was fed up.

"Miss. I don't need that….perfume. You see I'm a Shinobi. There is no need for something like that especially as I am not seeking" Sakura paused, looking disgusted. "…Love right now. So thanks but no thanks. The payment for the complete mission is enough."

"But its special! And Rare! 100% guarantee to work, one spritz and everyone will fall in Love!" The Creep replied, sounding like a corny ad as she uncapped the bottle.

"Last one, totally free just for you!" She finishes, thrusting it closer and practically hitting Sakura in the face.

"No. Thanks. Now I must go as the mission is complete." Sakura says dryly. "Save it for yourself." Heavens knows she'll need it right!? Inner Sakura laughs.

Sakura shoves her back into that tiny, locked up box she had escaped. She had a large enough headache without Inner helping.

"but..but" The lady replies, tears appearing in her eyes.

She needs to be at least 50 years younger for that to work. No way would it help her.

Sakura bows, internally sighing before readying herself to leave. She just wanted to go home now.

The lady made a move forwards, leaning as if to hug Sakura. Then she poured out the neon pink liquid all over Sakura.

"uhoh" she giggles, fanning her wrinkled hands. "I'm sorry I'm just such a klutz especially at this old age. You know I can barely see anything. You must forgive me, honest mistake."

Sakura just stares. The liquid was dripping through her hair, and the overpowering smell of sakura blossoms filled the air. She couldn't find the irony funny.

"Miss." She starts, deadly fury tracing her voice. "I am a Shinobi. I have enemies. Enemies have noses and I am doused, covered, enveloped in enough perfume to kill a horse! Now tell me how on earth will I be hidden now?"

"Tut tut don't worry dear girl." The hag waves it off. "Its special, the scent will fade away in minutes."

Sakura continues to glare.

Ughh if that, that bitch wasn't our client I would strangle her. So fucking hard. She can't help but imagine it, perhaps a little love tap that went wrong?

But then Shisou would definitely get on her ass and that old hag was a civilian even though she moved pretty fast.

Sakura sniffs the air, surprised as the scent did seem less overpowering. Glancing down, she realised that the liquid was fading away, almost as if it was seeping into her skin.

"Now. This ultra-special perfume works on all those of the opposite gender, in this case men, with strong enough noses, or enough chakra to register it! Thats why its special" the Bat continues, unaware that the Sakura had been planning her death. "I mean we can't have every guy chasing you right?" The hag laughs, waving her hand around.

"Normally one spray only lasts a day but, well somehow the whole bottle landed on you! I do wonder how, its bad for young ones to be clumsy no?"

Sakura stares in disbelief. Really? She was passing off the blame?

"Now its just an adventure! Have fun honey!" The lady finishes, shining her yellowed and cracked teeth.

Sakura glances down again, noticing that all the liquid was gone and she was dry again. And the scent had disappeared. Quickly scanning herself with medical jutsu she realised that there was nothing abnormal with herself. Well at least that perfume wasn't poison.

"Miss what the hell was in that?"

"Oh you know just the regular: moonshine, spider silk, unicorn hair, the souls of a thousand crying children. You know the works!" Sakura can't help but stare at this completely insane old bat.

"Now now chop, chop. Off my property I'm sure your just dying to go home!" The Crazy Lady says, shooing Sakura away like a pesky dog.

Well a bath would be nice and we could wash off that horrible perfume that crazy bitch threw on us. Inner Sakura points out, reappearing again.

Sakura stops, thinking. Well it would be nice. And she hated confrontations with crazy people even though they were allies of Konoha.

Mind made up, she bows slightly towards the aggravating village leader before leaping off the porch. After quickly checking her surroundings and sending a warning glance towards the elder, she turns and quickly leaves the village.

Going home at last.

End of Intro. Now I'm on a roll! Two stories in two days darn my muse is flowing. Alright chapter two should hopefully be up soon, please be aware that this is all written with no beta. SO there will most likely be grammar problems, plot holes ect. This story is a Crack!fic and not to be taken seriously!

Anyways thanks for reading.