Payphone

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Criminal Minds. (Though I do wish that I owned Reid.)

Summary:"What if I had started using again?"JJ finds Reid doing Dilaudid after Emily 'died.' One-shot. Friendship. May continue. Dedicated to Namira O.O

Spencer had his cellphone in one hand and a needle filled with Dilaudid in the other. He barely comprehended dialing JJ's number, he just did it subconsciously. He heard her caring voice on the other end, but he couldn't speak.

"Spencer? Spence? Are you alright?"

"JJ?" His voice cracked with emotion. It just hurt so bad...

"Are you injured?"

"No."

"Where are you?"

"At-At my apartment."

"I'm on my way."

He couldn't fight back the urges anymore. The demons won. He gave in and emptied the needle into his arm. Time didn't matter anymore. He just had to stop hurting. Emily would be so disappointed in him.

"Who cares what she thinks? She's dead!" He screamed to himself. "No... She just can't be..."

JJ pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of the car. Anxiously, her fingers tapped at her side as she flew up the stars.

"Reid? Please, open up," JJ called softly outside his apartment door. Never had she been so torn before. He was hurting, and it was all her fault...

Somewhere in Reid's drug-hazed mind, he heard the familiar voice outside his door. From where he was laying on the ground he reached up and unlocked the door shakily. The needle was still gripped in his hand when JJ opened the door.

"Oh my gosh!" She exclaimed, dropping to her knees.

"Jay..." His voice was slurred, confirming her fears. She could barely understand him, but she distinctly heard her name in his mumbling.

"Spence," her voice choked on a sob. With shaking hands she dialed Morgan's number. She didn't know what else to do, but he would know.

"Hello?" He had been sleeping, his voice was groggy and thick.

"Morgan?"

"JJ, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He was instantly alert. He could hear how upset she was in her voice.

"I'm at Spencer's..."

"I'm on my way," he hung up. Reid had passed out by now, and JJ took the needle from his hand and threw it at a wall. If he continued with this, it would be all her fault. It already was.

Emily, I could really use you right now...

JJ heard Morgan flying down the hall and he entered the apartment without knocking. His face paled considerably when he saw her and Spencer.

"Dilaudid," was the only word she could choke out. He cussed under his breath. After a moment of thinking he swiftly picked up Spencer.

"I'm gonna put him in his room. When he wakes up, get him to sober up. Then I'm gonna beat the living crap out of him," he said angrily. "He's going to be feeling the effects of withdrawal, even after all of this time."

At least I hope it's been a long time, he added in his mind.

JJ felt so helpless watching Morgan carry Spencer to his bed. She was just standing there, useless. She couldn't make it right. The marks on his arm proved that she was too late to help him.

I wish I could talk to you, Emily. You always know what to do. The team is breaking without you here. We are gonna catch him, I promise.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to Spencer, but he couldn't hear her.

—

The next morning, when Spencer woke up, JJ was there next to his bed.

"Hey, Spence, talk to me. How you feelin'?" She greeted.

"Horrible," he croaked. He felt like vomiting. His stomach was tight and his head pounded. He felt like he had a severe case of the flu or something.

"That's withdrawal."

"I'm not even to the worse part yet," he groaned.

"Do you wanna talk?" JJ asked.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"I don't want you to get to the point where the only way you cope is to shoot up! We all miss her," JJ said. "But she wouldn't want this for you."

"Don't tell me what she would want. She's dead," Spencer snapped. His walls were crumbling. Tears slipped down his cheeks against his will, but he was still trying to fight it.

"Let it out," JJ told him.

"When I was little, my mom would freak if she saw tears. She couldn't help it, it just sent her into a frenzy. I learned from a young age not to cry, not even when my dad left. Not around her," Spencer opened up.

"You don't have to bottle up your emotions around me, Spencer," JJ said. Slowly, Spencer's tears turned into sobs. JJ wrapped him in a tight embraced, and that's how they remained for hours. As they hugged and cried, Spencer's pain began to lessen and JJ's guilt began to subside some. But they both missed their friend immensely.

A/n: I might continue with Emily finding out that he took Dilaudid while she was away. Please review!

Stay gold lovelies,

- Alee XxX