"That's it! I swear to God you are the worst roommate in the history of…rooms!"
"Well you're no peach to live with either!"
"At least I don't leave my pubic hairs lining the bathtub like a frickin' carpet!"
"You don't even clean the bathroom I do!"
"You call that cleaning? I've known farm animals cleaner than you!"
"Oh really name one!"
"Chino only poops in one corner of her stall and yesterday she stomped most of the mud off her hooves before going into the barn!"
"…..Okay, but can you name five?"
Lizzy threw her hands up in the air, "Seriously Billie, what is wrong with you? You said you'd find a job, you haven't. You said you'd get a car, you haven't. You said you would be out of here in a month!" she pointed to the various piles of her friend's belongings that lay scattered around the living room, "I think you're trying to bury me in your crap at this point! Well I say no more! I'm sorry you got fired and I'm sorry you're having a hard time getting back on your feet but if you stay here any longer I'm going to punch you in the face. You need to leave."
Billie took a step back, pressing her hand to her chest, dramatic as ever, "you really want me to go?"
Lizzy nodded, Billie felt the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. "Really?" Lizzy looked resolutely at the wall, she knew this ploy, and she was not being tricked with the poor, poor pitiful me act again, it was what had got her into this mess in the first place.
"Okay then," Billie grabbed her purse, from where she'd dropped it earlier on the coffee table, "I'll just-" She didn't finish her sentence, just walked out the door, already crying. Lizzy wanted to call after her, to say they would make it all work, but instead she went into the bathroom and looked down at the black, curly hairs coating the white porcelain of the tub.
"So gross," she thought. She sat down on the floor and rested her chin on her knees, her foot bumped against something hidden under the bathmat, she picked it up without thinking and sighed. It was Billie's book, 'Love in the Time of Dragons,' inside being used as a make shift bookmark was picture Billie had drawn of the two of them dressed up as characters shooting bolts of power out of their hands and laughing.
A drop of salt water landed on the picture, smudging the ink, Lizzy rested her chin on her knees again, cursing her stupid, messy, infuriating, best friend.
(Meanwhile)
"No." Kili said not even looking up from his phone.
"Just give it a chance," Thorin pleaded with his nephew, "I think it has real potential."
"No it doesn't," Kili said, still not looking up.
"He's right," said a voice from Kili's phone.
"See Fili agrees with me," Kili said.
"Are you two facetiming from the car to the backyard?" Thorin raised an eyebrow and then the other one. In response Kili leaned his seat back and put his feet up on the dashboard.
"The princess refused to leave her chariot," Fili said from the phone, over the connection came the sound of breaking wood, "Uncle, the foundation is rotten." More breaking wood, "in several places. We cannot live here."
"Everywhere else we looked was too expensive," Thorin reminded him, grabbing the phone from Kili so he could see his face.
"Hey!" Kili protested. Thorin ignored him, walking towards the 100-year-old house they were parked in front of. The front door was askew so he slipped inside. Looking up to take in the stairs, the twenty-foot ceilings, the hand-carved banister. "This place is really something."
"Correction it really was something once," Thorin started, he hadn't realized he had voiced his thought out loud. He held up the phone to see his oldest nephew scowling back at him.
"So we'll make it something again," he wheedled, "I'm sure the rest of your uncles would be happy to help."
"Okay, first of all I'm not seven years old anymore, it's weird to keep calling your old college buddies uncle. Secondly, why do you want this place so badly? Mom, isn't here anymore it would just be the three of us, living in a huge place that's falling down around our ears."
Thorin walked into the kitchen, he could hardly say the true reason he wanted this particular house, but gazing about the room he could see them. His wife would stand there, laughing at him as he cooked dinner and his four kids would sit at the table he would put, right there, (were the hole in the floor was currently,) to do their homework.
"THORIN!" Fili shouted. Thorin jumped, almost dropping the phone down the hole.
"What? Sorry, I spaced out for a second."
Fili rolled his eyes, "clearly." Heavy boots sounded behind him, Thorin turned around and seeing who it was pressed end. Fili came into the kitchen, frowning. He looked down the hole and then stood with Thorin at the edge of it for a minute before letting out a long sigh.
"We're getting the house aren't we?"
"Yeah."
"You want to tell Kili or should I."
"You better do it, he's not as likely to murder his twin."
Fili sighed again turning to clomp from the room, "Fine but I want cheeseburgers for dinner!" he called over his shoulder.
(…And then)
Billie sat at her booth in the Under the Mountain truck stop restaurant thinking hard. Whose couch could she crash on for a while? Maybe Aunt Stacie's? No, Aunt Stacie hated her. Kristen? No, she'd just had the baby, doubtful she'd want a house guest.
"You want another root beer love?" Bombor, the fry cook asked, waddling over to refill her glass. Billie smiled up at the fat man, when she's first got in here, her eyes all red from crying and covered in sweat from walking for so long in the Texas summer sun this man hadn't asked her what was wrong. He'd just ushered her into a booth and put a basket of fries in front of her. That had been almost three hours ago, and about every twenty minutes he refilled the fries. She hoped thirty dollars was enough of a tip to say how grateful she was because that was all the cash she had on her.
"Nah, I better get going," she said, unsticking her legs from the vinyl seat as she stood up, "Do I pay up front?"
"It's on the house sweetie," Bombor said, crossing his pudgy arms, "You walked here didn't you? Need me to give you a ride somewhere?"
"Oh no, really I can pay," she held up her wallet. Bombor laughed.
"We made too many and were going to throw those fries out anyways honey. Don't worry about it."
"You're sure? I mean I ate like five basketsful, that's got to be a lot of money and- she trailed off. Bombor smiled at her.
"Don't worry about it," he said again, "you sure you don't need a ride?"
Billie shook her head, "No, but thank you for the offer, and the fries… and the root beer. I needed to just sit for a while."
The fry cook nodded, "I understand, sometimes that's all you need, to just, sit."
"Thanks for everything," Billie said walking away and giving him an awkward wave as she did, she pushed open the door almost taking out a tall man who was trying to come inside.
"Oh my God, I am so sorry," she gasped, "are you alright?" The man's grey eyes flashed at her, the tips of his ears went red but he didn't get a chance to say anything before two men with ponytails came up behind him and started talking non-stop.
"What's the hold-up Uncle Thorin?"
"Uncle Bombor is on shift tonight right?"
"You know he's not really our uncle."
"So? He's like an uncle. Quit trying to be so grown-up all the time Fili."
"I'm 18, I am a grown-up, so are you according to the American government."
"You're only as old as you feel you are, so for you that would be what? 56?"
"Sorry for almost taking your nose off," Billie said, sliding past the odd threesome and out into the Texas twilight. Thorin watched her walk away.
"Uncle Bombor!" Kili cried, giving the fat cook a hug, "It's been too long." He pulled back and put on a serious face, "Fili says you're not his uncle anymore."
"I did not say that!" Fili said, irritated, "it's just weird to still refer to Uncle Thorin's friends as uncle when they are not actually related to us!"
"I may be his twin, but I have my own opinions and I think that's stupid," Kili said, then added in a stage whisper, "so please don't scimp on the bacon in my cheeseburger."
"How you been Thorin?" Bombor asked his old friend, ignoring the twins.
"Who was that girl?" Thorin asked, staring out the window, watching her walk down highway.
Bombor frowned, "I don't know. Came in here crying a couple of hours ago, said she needed a place to sit for a while. I gave her some fries on the house and offered her a ride, but she wouldn't take it. Cutie, wasn't she?"
Thorin nodded.
"Oooooooo Uncle Thorin's got a crush on a drifter." Kili mocked.
"Can we stuff him in the walk-in freezer until dinner is over?" Fili asked, "Please, I require peace to digest."
"You require me to take the stick out of your butt," Kili laughed, flicking a straw at him.
(Meanwhile)
Billie had pulled out her cell phone a dozen times all set to call Lizzy and apologize. It was a stupid fight and she was right, it was revolting that she had left her shaved pubes all over the tub. She hadn't meant to, but she'd gotten so wrapped up in her book that she had forgotten to push them down the drain after she let her bath water out. She sighed, her mom was right, she was a disgusting girl. No wonder she didn't have a boyfriend.
She pulled out her phone again pushing in Lizzy's number, she held it to her ear, Lizzy picked up on the first ring.
"Hi."
"Hey," Billie sighed, "look I'm sorry I know I'm a mess, a hot goofy mess, and I don't really see that changing anytime soon, but I'll work really hard at not being such a slob I promise and I really am sorry."
Lizzy looked around her, it had taken all day to get her apartment clean and she knew the minute Billie came back all that hard work would disappear. She didn't want to be a jerk but she knew if she let her best friend back in, they probably wouldn't be best friends anymore by the end of the month.
"I forgive you," she said into the phone, "but I was serious earlier. Billie we cannot be roommates anymore. Either I'm going to kill you or one of your piles is going to topple over and crush me to death."
Billie's chest tightened, she knew Lizzy was right, but where was she going to live? Who was going to take in a jobless, carless, messy freakaziod like herself.
"I understand," she said, shielding her eyes from the lights of an oncoming car, "I'll find somewhere else."
"You can sleep here tonight," Lizzy said, starting to sound panicked, "I don't want you to have to stay in the gutter or anything."
Billie laughed, "Liz it's okay I'll just get a hotel for the night."
"Well do you want me to drive you there?" Another car rumbled by, flashing it's brights and honking, "Where are you anyways?"
"Walking along the side of the highway," Billie hopped over a long, skinny something that was either a stick, or a sleeping snake. She couldn't tell in the dark and wasn't about to take chances.
"At night? By yourself? Billie there could be creepers out there! I'm coming to get you right now!"
"Lizzy I'll be fine-
"Right now!"
"Okay, okay I'm about halfway between your house and that truck stop with the restaurant in it." She could hear Lizzy's keys jingling as she walked, could hear her open the door.
"That's like six miles away, why'd you walk so far?"
"I just started walking and next thing I knew I was there." Billie shrugged, even though Lizzy couldn't see her.
"Okay, I'll be there in like five-ten minutes, eleven tops. Don't talk to strangers alright, or wave at trucks."
"Why would I wave at tr- Billie started only to remember all the times she had waved at truck drivers trying to get them to honk their horns, "right, sorry I promise not to wave at trucks."
"Love you, don't die before I get there."
"Love you too," Billie hung up and shoved her hands into her pockets doing mental calculations. How much money did she have left from her last paycheck? 100 dollars? She remembered the fry cook's kindness, no 130. Damn, she probably couldn't stay the night in a hotel. Which brought her back to her original problem, whose couch could she crash on for a while. So lost in thought was she that she didn't notice the headlights steadily creeping up on her until the truck they belonged to practically ran over the backs of her shoes.
She whirled around, a large man was squinting at her through the windshield, the passenger door flew open and another equally large individual started advancing towards her.
"What'cha doing out here in the dark girly?"
(…And then)
Thorin was driving home when he saw the girl again, she was walking along the side of the road, hands in her pockets, apparently not at all afraid to be on the side of the highway at night.
"It's your cute drifter Uncle Thorin!" Kili said.
"Do you think we should give her a ride?" Fili looked concerned.
"Will she take one is the question we are a bunch of guys in a truck." Kili said. They zipped past her, Thorin shook his head.
"We'd just freak her out." He decided aloud.
"I think someone else is already taking care of that," Kili said, alarmed Thorin glanced into the rearview mirror. Another truck was creeping up on the oblivious woman. Without thinking what he was doing he turned the wheel violently to the left and preformed a completely illegal U-turn in the middle of a Texas highway. Luckily it was only a two lane Texas highway and no one else was coming at the moment, still Fili started muttering curses under his breath.
Someone had gotten out of the other truck and had the girl by her arm, she was trying to pull away but the other person was much bigger than her and simply towed her along. Thorin skidded the truck to a halt only a few feet away and leapt out to do? He had no idea what. The girl screamed at the man to let her go.
"Hey!" Kili shouted, he and Fili had jumped out too and were running up to the captor and his victim armed with rocks they had scooped up from the ground. Thorin joined them rushing forwards and yanking the girl free, shoving her behind him.
"You leave her alone!" Kili continued, while Fili stood there looking menacing.
"This don't concern you," the large man said, spitting out a stream of tobacco juice, "We was just going to have us a conversation."
"Sure you were," Fili growled, "But now it's time to be on your way." The driver's side window of the other truck rolled down.
"Henry, come on," a man's voice said, "she's not worth the trouble." Henry let his feelings be known by spitting another wad of tobacco juice at Thorin's shoes, but he turned around got back into the other truck all the same. The other driver pulled out with a roar of a broken muffler and a cloud of dust.
Thorin turned to the girl meaning to ask if she was okay, but for some reason she was lying on the ground with her eyes closed. The family gathered around her prone figure.
"Did we kill her?" Kili asked.