Author's note:
A Tim Drake fic, with an angsty Tim. Tim Drake is one of my favorite characters in the comic book universe, and presently, I feel like he's underrated. This story came to mind when I thought about how Tim deserves more credit.
This fic also features those who are close to Tim because the whole focus is not only on Tim himself but his relationship with others. (Ex: The batbros will be seen and there will be a little bit of TimKon).
In terms of Tim's background, I based it off of current comics (new 52-present). Everything else, I'm basing it off of pre-new 52.
I know that the new 52 erased key points that contributed to Tim's character. However, I liked how the new 52 showed him as a character who came from good beginnings, unlike the typical hero arising from trauma in his/her past. To me, it made him unique.
His background won't be the focus of the story though. This is a fanfic of Tim Drake going through a rough time. Now on to the story.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to DC Comics.
Chapter 1: Prologue
Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.
Tim Drake for short.
High IQ, great with advanced technology, unique detective skills, good at martial arts, pro at gymnastics, and a warm heart. What more can someone expect? He was a unique young man that was raised by loving parents. For sure, his parents would never stop bragging about their child. He succeeds in everything he does, and they would always continue to cheer him on. Any parent would be proud of having a son like Tim, and Tim himself couldn't be any more thankful for having them.
Moreover, to prove that he was skillful, he single-handedly uncovered Batman's identity. Being Robin was what he wanted, and was what he thought Gotham needed. Though Bruce was unwilling to take him in as a sidekick at first, especially since he lost Jason at the time, Tim was able to convince him otherwise. Unfortunately, in order to gain that attention from Bruce, he nearly got his parents killed for his actions. At that time, stealing $100 million from the Penguin and giving it to the poor seemed like a bright and heroic idea when it comes to gaining the attention of the Batman. However, Tim learned his lesson when the Penguin sent his men to murder his family.
It was then when his family was put into a witness protection program, and Tim himself was placed under the care of Bruce Wayne. As much as he missed living with his parents, he got along well with Bruce and the rest of his friends and family. Not to mention Bruce was like a godfather to him. In addition, he even gained some brothers as well. Surely there was some serious tensions at first, but they all began to look at each other as one big family even though some of them won't admit it.
Being part of Bruce's family was surely satisfying. When Bruce took him in, he was able to become Robin, and soon, Red Robin.
And being Red Robin was a blessing. He couldn't be any happier.
So why isn't he happy now?
Tim thought that to himself all night. It was hard to go to sleep when negative energy kept him up. The emotions he felt the past months were weighing him down.
It was the feeling of loneliness.
The feeling of being neglected.
He felt like he was left out, and it just made him feel lonesome and insecure.
Did no one care about Red Robin?
For the past nights, he had been plagued by bothersome thoughts that were preventing him from getting adequate hours of sleep. For example, it was a joy to be welcomed into Bruce's family, but did Bruce want him only because Tim would never give up fighting to garner his attention? Was he just an annoyance? He wants to believe these feeling to be untrue, but why does Red Robin seem to be pushed to the side?
Though not biologically, Bruce was a father figure to him, especially since he rarely gets to see his own parents anymore. He just wants to be wanted.
To be cared for.
To be relied on.
To be loved.
Not just from Bruce, but everyone else too.
Bruce and Dick are always in communication.
Bruce always expresses sorrow over Jason.
Bruce was able to create a stable and loving father-son relationship with Damian.
Though Bruce never really shows emotion, Tim can see it through his eyes that he is happy to have them. So how come Tim never saw it when Bruce was around him? It's like he rarely feels like a son to him anymore, the way the other three are to him.
One of the others notions that bothered him was the fact that Jason and Damian had practically tried to kill him in the past. In the beginning, they were horrible to him. That included insensitive insults and brutal beatings. And yet, Bruce seemed to find some sort of way to welcome them into open arms. No matter how much Jason tried to hurt Tim, Bruce always wanted him back. No matter how disrespectful Damian was to Tim (and still is), Bruce was still determined to get close to him.
Them, not him.
Tim wasn't going to lie, Bruce did a good job. Jason and Damian changed a lot over the years. On the other hand, the connection between Bruce and Tim himself began to diminish. That's the thing that bothered him, especially since Tim was never initially a problem with Bruce unlike Jason and Damian.
Aside from that, he's been getting more distant from his Teen Titans friends as well. After each member of the Titans went their separate ways, busy schedules kept everyone apart. It was another reason why his relationship with Kon ended. Though the break-up itself wasn't bad, the effect took a toll on him.
The sour emotions and heartache were becoming unbearable. To Tim, it felt like he was walking around with a chain of cement blocks tied to his back. He can only go so far, only to be worn down eventually.
It was like a sign of depression.
The feeling of emptiness and being unwanted are common triggers of such a condition. Needless to say Tim is already on that path, and who's to say he hasn't already succumbed to it.
What's the point of trying his best if the others could really care less? What's his relevance in the family anymore? And was he ever relevant?
As much as it pained him to think, maybe he wouldn't feel this way if he never even tried to figure out the identity of the Batman in the first place. His own parents made him feel special, and the fact that he made them proud was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Maybe the thought of wanting to become Robin was the most foolish thing ever. After all, he always blamed himself for almost getting his parents killed by the Penguin's men. If he had never pushed himself to obtain the role of Robin, his parents wouldn't be in the in the witness protection program they're in now. He would have stayed in his original home the whole time, where he felt special. Where he felt acknowledged.
It was a scary thought. Throughout his life as Red Robin, he gained a family and best friends. Now, it sounds like he's regretting that role because it doesn't seem significant anymore and no one seems to think he matters. Gotham has Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Batgirl, Robin, and even Batwoman. Outside of Gotham, the whole world has the Justice League and the multiple sidekicks who work with them.
Why become Red Robin then?
Sure, he always wanted to be a hero. He wanted to be the sidekick that Batman needed. He wanted to be the hero he thought Gotham deserved. He wanted to make his parents proud. And of course, he wanted to be happy with his life.
But now, he's not happy.
He feels invisible.