The Space Corp Institution of Learning
Written for The Rooms 2016 PROMPTAPALOOZA. Challenge 4: You need an education
Set between Series 8 and BTE
The small crew of five paced around the small room in the Space Station they'd entered waiting to hear back from the computer system to find out if they were able to explore the rest of the ship.
"The Stations computer has completed background checks for all of us. I'm afraid I have some bad news." Kryten informed them, reading the data back from the computer system. "Due to regulation changes in the late 23rd Century, everyone serving on board a Space Craft and Space Stations require to be educated."
They'd gone in to explore since they hadn't come across any other planets or wrecks they could explore for over two years so all were itching to get out of the confinements of Red Dwarf and stretch their legs.
"I am not going to be staying with you three," Kristine said to the boys. "If you cannot leave because you cannot pass the test, I am going back to the Red Dwarf, I don't want to stay on this station forever."
"You also don't want to stay in this dimension forever," Rimmer reminded her. "Yet here you still are."
"Hey I'll pass," Lister told her. "It's these two that will be the problem."
"I do have some good news," Kryten informed them all. "Mr Rimmer is exempt, so we don't need to worry about him getting left behind because he keeps fainting during his exams."
"Excellent," Rimmer beamed.
"Is anyone else exempt?" Kristine enquired.
"I'm also exempt, as for the rest of you, I'm afraid that no you will need to attend school," Kryten replied.
"Why is Rimmer exempt while the rest of us aren't?" Lister asked.
"Mr Rimmer graduated high school and attended two Universities. He didn't do well at school, but he did manage to pass and graduate." Kryten informed them. "As far as the computer is concerned he is educated to the standards."
"What about Kris? Lister asked. "She completed school and more to a high standard, far greater than all of us combined." He referred to the rest of the misfit clue, excluding Kryten. Cat and Rimmer both nodding in agreement, there was no denying that the astronavigation office was more intelligent than they were.
"Well yes, she is," Kryten replied. "Her issue is she was educated in another dimension. The computer detected enough of a difference in the DNA between Miss Kochanski of this dimension and our Miss Kochanski that she shows up in the database as having no records. As a result, we need to register herself and Mr Cat, since neither have any records."
"I finished school, plus I went to Art Collage." Lister pointed out. "Why do I have to attend?"
"You never actually graduated from high school, you just stopped going. You didn't even attend Art Collage for one full day." Kryten replied. "Mr Lister, the computer wants you to start at high school level. Miss Kochanski and Mr Cat, you I am afraid will need to start right from the start, in primary school."
"Well since I am excluded, I am returning to the Red Dwarf, toodle-pip," Rimmer said to the three others cheerfully. The Station allowed him to leave the room.
Cat smiled, happy that Rimmer was gone.
"As I can see it, the biggest issue will be getting the Cat to understand a schooling system; he's never been to school before," Kristine told them. "Dave, my Dave that is, he was intelligent but never used his brains until after the crew was dead. You are the same as him in that regard, I know that you can do this. If you don't put any effort into passing, I will leave you here, on your own."
"You wouldn't leave me behind," Lister grinned at her.
"Wouldn't I?" She asked him in a serious tone. She turned around and walked out the room with the Cat so they could both be registered.
"She won't leave me behind," Lister said to Cat.
"When I pass we'll be leaving you behind Bud," Cat grinned at him.
"You pass? Cat you've never been to school before." Lister pointed out.
"How hard can it be?" Cat asked leaving before Lister could reply.
- Red Dwarf -
Kristine and Cat watched and made sure Lister was plugged into virtual reality before going too far away.
With the registration process, complete Kristine and Cat were also plugged into virtual reality. Since they were starting at the same level, they were attending school together. Kryten went to find Mr Rimmer.
"This is different than the Virtual school I attended," Kristine commented as they walked around the classroom. "It's so old fashioned, this looks like something from the 1800s instead of the 2200s Considering this ship was built in the 2500s. You'd think it would have a more modern looking setting for the school environment instead of something so old fashioned."
They took seats with the virtual children who all wore uniforms.
"They are so tiny, what are they?" Cat asked.
"They are children, human children" Kristine replied.
Cat was the youngest living Cat on the ship and there had never seen another Cat child himself. The only human children he'd seen were Jim, Bexley and Dave who had only been around for a short while and he'd only seen when they were babies. He'd missed Jim and Bexleys instant growth spurts.
Kristine was scolded by the virtual teacher several times as she explained to Cat what he needed to be doing for school and that he could not have Cat naps.
They did test after test to determine their learning level. Kristine passed everything with ease. Thankfully Cat knew enough from being around humans for the past several years that he was also able to graduate from Primary school in one day.
"That was easy," Cat told her.
"Tomorrow you may not say that. High school is a lot harder than primary school," Kristine informed him. She looked up and saw Dave was leaving virtual reality with them.
"How did it go?" Kristine asked him.
"It was awful, we had so many exams. I was surrounded by teenagers who acted like ... teenagers. The computer has me starting on Grade Nine course work tomorrow." Lister told her in a dejected tone. "I'm going to be surrounded by twelve and thirteen-year-olds in virtual reality."
"It could have been worse; you could have started in seventh grade," Kristine told him. "Cat and I start high school tomorrow."
"School was easy," Cat smiled. "They had this big round thing and a long stringy thing to play with at lunch time."
"Recess was his favourite lesson," Kristine told him.
- Red Dwarf -
Cat and Kristine spent another day in exams. They found the high school virtual reality program was more up to date then the program for primary school.
"This is very different then the program I attended school in. I had the perfect virtual friends and the perfect virtual teachers. This isn't perfect. The teacher is not focusing all her attention on us, which is what she should be doing. The students are so annoying instead of helpful like the program I went to school in." Kristine complained to Cat during recess.
"These little monkeys are annoying. Even more annoying then flared nostrils and the monkey." Cat complained. "Do I really have to come back in here every day?"
"Everyday till you pass," Kristine replied. "Hopefully, they have low expectations. If they have the expectations that my school had you and Dave have no chance of passing."
Kristine passed high school on her first day. Cat was placed into seventh grade so he and Lister were both still in separate instances of virtual reality.
"How did school go?" Kristine asked Dave.
"I hate school," Lister complained. "I got detention for talking back to the teacher.
"I'll be back in a couple of days," Kristine told them. "I'm going to check on Rimmer and Kryten and make sure the Red Dwarf is still functioning. You both need to make your best effort to pass, otherwise, I may agree with Rimmer to leave you both behind if you don't put any effort into school."
They boys nodded. She lectured them like a mother before she'd left on what they could and couldn't do in and outside of school.
- Red Dwarf -
Cat looked around the classroom for his first day of solo lessons. The students paid more attention to him now that he wasn't taking exams to see what level of study he needed to start at. Without Kristine around that also meant he could do whatever he liked. He'd stopped listening part way through her lecture the day before. He didn't care about completing school, he'd never paid attention to the old preacher when he was a child and he certainly wasn't going to pay attention now. This time, he was going to be the teacher and he was going to teach these monkey children about clothing and fashion. Making sure he was still the most stylish one around.
- Red Dwarf -
Kristine had returned back after her couple of days away with Kryten.
"How are you both doing?" She asked.
"I've gone up a grade," Lister informed her.
"Well done David, you've done better than I thought. At this pace, you should be able to get out of here in a few days." Kristine congratulated him.
"I'm the coolest Cat at school," Cat informed Kristine.
Kristine sighed. "You're the only cat at school." She'd expected that from Cat.
"Kris, it's the weekend, I need a break," Lister whined.
"We will be studying over the weekend. Once you've passed, we can work on helping Cat as much as possible to pass." Kristine told him. "Besides you've practically done nothing for the past couple of years, will studying for a few weeks really kill you?"
"Yes," Both men replied together.
"Once you pass you can go back to being the lazy bums you are," Kris told him.
"I'm not a monkey, I don't need to know any of this stuff." Cat pointed out.
"We'll focus on you David, and worry about Cat passing later," Kristine whispered to Dave. "Now both of you sit and pay attention."
- Red Dwarf -
Despite all the work Kristine and Kryten had done with Cat, he was still in the seventh grade. Instead of working on schoolwork, he had worked on becoming the most popular person in the school, which he'd succeeded in on his fourth day at school, but insisted he needed to keep working to stay the top cat.
Dave exited virtual reality with a big grin. "I've done it, I graduated high school."
"Congratulations, I knew you could do it." Kristine kissed Lister on the cheek.
"It's about time," Rimmer told him. "Now we can leave this hell hole for a new hell hole."
"What about Cat?" Lister asked.
Kristine and Kryten had a sheepish look while Rimmer just looked smug.
"Well you see, we found a loophole in the system the third day we were here," Kristine told him. "I took an extra exam to register as a Space Corps teacher. I'm now registered to teach - which is enough to satisfy the computer and allow yourself and Cat to be registered at my students. But you passed, so we don't need to do that for you now, my only registered student will be Cat."
"Then why did I have to deal with that load of smeg for the past two months?" Lister asked in frustration.
"Because I knew that you could do it," Kristine replied. "If you didn't complete school here, I knew that you would not do it underneath myself as your teacher once we are back on the Red Dwarf, without incentive."
"Why did I have to still go to school when he was the only one that needed to finish?" Cat asked. "I could have been doing something more useful with my time."
"Your more useful is taking cat naps, looking at shiny things and admiring your suits, which you did in your classes anyway." Rimmer pointed out.
"Yes, but it would have been in my own time and in my favourite places," Cat replied.
"If we told you, you would tell him. Where would the fun in that be?" Rimmer asked.
"We should finishing registering Mr Cat as Miss Kochanski's students, then we can leave. Mr Rimmer, Miss Kochanski and I have already loaded Red Dwarf with everything that we deemed useful while you were at school.
"I'm not going to forget this," Lister told them. "Making me pass high school when I didn't have to. I was proud of my lack of education, now I don't even have that."