Chapter 1
Hello again...I just can't stop watching these so I've decided to write my first long future story instead of one shots.
So enjoy & know that this will be a Hanna/Caleb fic despite how it starts off. I'll work him back into the picture in further chapters. Just be patient.
It was another night when she sat in front of the mirror powdering her nose anticipating the night's festivities. To her it seemed like another boring fundraiser for some one else less fortunate. Her creamy legs tucked beside one another, like a lady her silk dress flowed down her body and draped on the floor beneath her.
She placed the powder brush down and looked into the mirror at herself, wondering exactly when her looks began to fail her.
She was still one of the most beautiful and most elegant women in Rosewood and yet somehow she couldn't see what other people saw in her, even her fiancées compliments did nothing to boost her confidence.
She felt so lost of late, but she neither knew what was taken or what she had lost. The panic attacks had become more frequent over the littlest of things but mostly she hated when his family, more specifically his mother spoke of their upcoming nuptials.
She loved Sean to bits; he'd always been there for her through good times and bad. He provided her with everything she ever needed, not that her family didn't have their own wealth but Sean wanted Hanna to have everything she deserved.
The big house, the white picket fence, a gorgeous white dog and the car of her dreams, a lavish wedding and Sean hoped one day they would bear the most beautiful children.
His baby face and blond looks mixed with her beautiful smile and eyes he was sure one day they would be the image of a perfectly happy family.
Wriggling her wrist she struggled to clasp together the two ends of her pearl bracelet, her patience grew thin very quickly when all of a sudden she screamed and threw the pearls behind her and looked into the mirror once more at the woman she didn't recognize.
" You want some help Hanna Banana? " Sean smiled from the doorway, picking up the pearl bracelet. He walked across the room toward her sitting on her favourite white fluffy chair, her make up sprawled over the table Hanna turned around and plastered that fake smile she mastered months ago.
" What's wrong Hanna? Talk to me." Sean looked up at her as he placed the pearl bracelet around her wrist closing the clasp.
" Its nothing Sean really...I'm just having one of those days."
Sean pulled his fiancée from her chair to stand before him, he twirled her in front of him even the smallest glimmer of a smile was all she could give him. She felt like a show pony and he was controlling everything she did, although he was nothing but the perfect partner it was she who was damaged inside.
" Did you see the dressmaker today?" He cautiously asked. Hanna shook her head and looked back at Sean with guilt in her eyes.
" No.I got busy...I'll make another appointment tomorrow I promise." She half smiled.
Sean swallowed the lump in his throat, making a figure eight with his left foot he tucked his hands in his pockets and swayed in front of her.
" That's what you said last month Hanna...I'm starting to wonder if you really..." She interrupted him tired of the constant nag.
" Want to get married? " She snapped. " For god sake Sean...I've told you I do want to get married I just want to do it our way...and not because your mother is forcing us too!" She walked away into the en suite of their room slamming the door behind her.
Hanna quickly locked the door; Sean barely had time to smooth over their argument.
" Hanna come on...Don't do this...Don't shut me out...What ever it is we can work through it... We always do right? " He pleaded with her at the door.
" Just go wait downstairs I'll be out when I'm ready." She yelled from inside the bathroom.
She pressed her ear against the door, listening for the shuffle of his feet until she could hear them no more.
She stood in front of the mirror bracing herself against the basin; there in front of her was that woman. The one she didn't recognize.
Taking deep breaths she attempted to calm herself, staring into her own green eyes she tried to think what would make her feel so empty? Why does she keep panicking like this? And why was she so hell bent on making Sean feel guilty when she was the one in the wrong.
She brushed her dress over her body and took a deep breath looking at herself in the mirror.
" Pull yourself together Hanna...You can do this...Stop worrying about the past."
Exiting the bathroom she stopped at her mirror again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she snarled at herself and continued out the door to where Sean was waiting downstairs.
With her arm linked around his Hanna & Sean entered the ballroom for the nights gala. A fundraiser for The Children's Hospital, Hanna couldn't imagine anything worse.
She never liked children, couldn't stand how brutally honest and random they were, she disliked unpredictability and grubby fingers, it was something she hoped she would never have to endure.
Together they approached a young girl in a wheel chair with most of her hair missing, her skin as pale as paper Hanna faked her enthusiasm once more.
" Hello...My name is Hanna what's yours? " She bent down to her level as best she could without stepping on her dress.
" Natalie..." She said with the softest of voices. " Your hair is really pretty " She stroked it between her fingers.
Hanna couldn't help but feel for the little girl enduring chemotherapy; she let her touch her hair for as long as she wanted. What harm could a little girl in a wheel chair do? She looked innocent enough.
" Why thank you Natalie...I bet your hair will grow back nice and long..." She tried lightening the awkward conversation they were in.
" Maybe...Who knows..." She shrugged and smiled. Hanna smiled in return, before being called away to deal with the functioning of festivities.
Behind a closed door Hanna was raising her voice, things weren't going as planned. Important guests hadn't arrived & they were due for a rehearsal well over an hour ago, to make matters worst the valet service has lost the keys to the car they were giving away.
Pointing to the doors she scolded the young shorter female manager of the event.
" You get out there to that board and find those keys or so help me that wont be the only thing you'll have to worry about!" When she ran out of the room almost in tears Hanna braced herself against the island in the kitchen.
Uh oh. Not again.
She could feel her heart racing, at times like this she felt like her heart was going to jump right out of her chest. Her breathing became shallow, her knees becoming weak Hanna felt the room spinning around her, before she could sit down everything went black.
His voice echoed around her as she opened her eyes, cradling her head Sean tapped Hanna's face with his palm once more.
" Hanna! Wake up Hanna! What happened?" Sean asked, panicking, as he'd just found his fiancée lying out cold on the tiled floor.
" What..." She mumbled rather groggily. " Where am I? " She asked looking around the kitchen at the staff staring down at her.
" You're at the fund raiser for the Children's Hospital remember? " He helped her up from the floor bracing her arms.
" Oh yes...that's right...How much money did we raise? " She asked faintly, her vision was still a little hazy as she tried to look around the room but that spinning feeling came rushing back.
Sean grabbed her by the arms as she began to wobble at the knees again.
" Whoa easy there girl... The auction hasn't finished yet Hanna. How long were you out? "
Hanna looked at Sean her brows furrowed she tried to figure out what he was saying, his lips were moving but the words just weren't syncing in time.
" Five...two minutes...I just fell." She mumbled. Sean took the liberty of wrapping Hanna's arm around the back of his neck, assisting her out of the side door Sean told the staff to continue the auction without them as he was taking her to the hospital.
When they reached their car outside Hanna insisted she was fine, but Sean knew better. Hanna seemed like a person who had suffered a concussion.
Sean placed her in the car pulling her belt over her & drove to the hospital.
Pacing the waiting room Sean waited for over two hours as the doctors ran tests and made sure it was nothing serious. Sean informed the doctors this was not the first time this had happened. Lying on the bed Hanna opened her eyes to the bright lights above her head, the glare was too much for her to bare, throwing her arm over her face she listened to the doctors talking beside her.
" Yes...there seems to be no bruising or any swelling to the brain or immediate area nor surrounding the skull...if I were to see anything I'd say Miss Marin suffered a panic attack and loss consciousness ".
" Miss Marin can hear you, " She said under her hand. " Now can I go or not? This place gives me the creeps ".
Hanna looked at the doctors from underneath her arm, waiting for their response, she rolled off the bed standing herself up and looked them both in the eyes and said.
" Whether you say it or not I'm walking out of here...Right now!" Hanna turned on her heels and walked out from the emergency room to find Sean pacing the room with a coffee in his hands. He turned around to find Hanna walking out as if nothing had happened.
" Hanna...they're letting you go? ". He held her by the arms.
" Yeah...I just have to take it easy. " She lied. She linked her arm around his and started to walk out when the doctor was calling her name.
" Miss Marin! Miss Marin! We need your signature if you're exiting the hospital without our consent". The doctor finally met them in the hall holding a clipboard to their bodies with a release form attached.
" Hanna! You're leaving against the doctor's advice? " Sean asked, concerned she was leaving when something could be seriously wrong.
" Sean...I had a panic attack and fell...I hit my head. I've recovered & now I want to go home! I don't want to stay here...plus these two medical students couldn't tell the difference between where their Asses are and where his head begins." She pointed to a third doctor across the room.
Hanna left the emergency room as Sean apologised to the two men for her language, outside Hanna searched for their car in the parking lot.
Sean pressed the remote to their car, never had he seen Hanna so urgent to get home. This wasn't like her, something was up and he knew it, if only she would tell him what it was.
If there was one thing Hanna knew how to do, it was lie and keep secrets.
Arriving home Hanna went directly to their bedroom, taking her jewellery off she threw them on the side table and walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her.
Sean could only stand outside their bedroom door and shake his head wondering what kind of marriage could they have if she shut down like this every time something bothered her, he was trying his best to get her to open up but Hanna was just as pig headed and stubborn as she was in high school.
Inside the bathroom Hanna felt the room beginning to spin once more, taking the brown paper bag from the draw she lowered her head between her legs and took deep breaths into the bag until she felt her anxiety leave her.
Exiting the bathroom an hour later she changed into her pyjamas and climbed into their empty bed, something that wasn't unfamiliar. Sometimes she wondered exactly what her and Sean were doing with each other. There were times when they were really affectionate and life seemed happy & perfect then lately nothing seemed right and it all seemed like a waste of time.
Resting her head on soft pillows Hanna looked at the piece of paper sitting on her side table.
Bright colored paper lit up the photos of old classmates; on the inside of the pamphlet there was her panic attack.
Class of 2012 High School Reunion - 10 years!
Closing her eyes she remembered that day she shared with him, the happiness and the heartache.
" Hanna! I got my letter! " He happily greeted her at the side door of her home.
She welcomed him inside smiling from ear to ear, she was happy he had finally bought his grades up enough to apply for scholarships into a university of his choice.
Caleb constantly thanked The Gottesman's for their hospitality and their stability to encourage him to further in his life, for the world was his oyster and he could accomplish anything he put his mind too.
Tearing open the envelope, he pulled the letter out and began reading quickly through the paragraphs until he seen the words he needed to see.
" You have been accepted."
Caleb picked Hanna up off the ground and spun her around kissing her; he put her back down and asked where was she attending University.
Hanna lied through her teeth and said she hadn't got her letter yet, but she was sure it would arrive any day now.
Tearing through the other two envelopes Caleb added more excitement to the day with a trifecta. He had been accepted into three Universities.
The University of Chicago, Roosevelt University in Chicago and The University of Texas at Austin, each offering full scholarships, which were his ticket out of Rosewood.
Hanna hugged Caleb and kept up pretences, who was she to ruin his day. He earned this, so much he even proved her wrong that he couldn't completely put all of his time and effort into schoolwork.
Hanna wanted to go out and celebrate his academic achievement, to show him how proud she was that he had gained high marks in all of his exams and schoolwork to get into a good university.
Walking out the door she was glad he didn't see her letter sitting on the table near the door, she could barely look at it herself let alone tell some one she cared about that she had failed to be accepted into her University of choice.
Disappointment was not something she took well...well maybe Hefty Hanna took it well. She was used to disappointment, but the new Hanna vowed to never be that girl again.