The Diary of a Dramatic Asshole: Kyo sohma
Monday
Already today it has been a great day…notice the sarcasm in that. That cock-gobbler Yuki was supposed to wake me up, and he forgot! I thought that he was supposed to be the smart one. Goddamn it! I glance in the mirror and what I see makes my eyes fall out and land on the floor. While I am picking up my eyeballs and wiping them off, Yuki comes up behind me. "Oh, good you are up, Kyo. I was just going to wake you up." " Where the fuck were you?! I don't want to hear it if you were at an all night circle-jerk. God! I look horrid! I look like I am wearing your mother's muff on my head!" Yuki is awake now. "My mother's what?!" "You heard me! Your mother's muff!!" Yuki shoves me into the sink. It is on now motherfucker! I shove him back and he trips over my pants that are laying on the floor. "Eat shit!" Yuki rubbed his elbow. "You eat shit!" he shouts back at me. "I am not the one that eats Tohru's cooking!" I shout at him and slam the door in his shit eating face.
Thank God that I cannot hear his voice through the door. Hearing his voice makes me want to sow my ears shut. I won't give him the satisfaction! Damn rat… Rats! Come to think of it he probably likes to have rats shoved up his ass when he fucks Haru! pause for obnoxious laughter Oh, I love myself. I glance at my watch (which I stole from Yuki). Fuck me! I am late again. I grab my bag and flee the house.
Holy shit on a cracker! I got ready for nothing. I am on my way home, as I have been suspended. Second time this semester. Akito is going to be pissed when he hears about this. This one really wasn't my fault. And no, I am not going to blame cunt-much Yuki. As it just so happens I was peeling down the hallway when that asshole guidance counselor steps out and stops me. He tells me that he "pulled me over" ( I wasn't even fuckin' driving!! Moron…) because I was running in the halls and that I have to change my hair color. It is not "accepted" here at school. I told him that it was my natural color and he told me that I was a shitty liar. The inhumanity. Me? A shitty liar?! Come on. Well, I lose my temper and tell him that he can blow it out his ass and that I would rather go home than have to change my color for such a low-life uneducated piece of vermin. That is when he tossed me out of the school doors and told me that I could come back when I learned how to talk out of my mouth, not my ass and dyed my hair to a natural color.
That guy can suck on it! I am not changing it. He has to get all county because he cannot have sexy hair like me. Oh, I just realized that Yuki will never let me hear then end of this, Now I will have to live with his bullshit as well as Akito's. "I must have been an asshole in a past life." I just has to say that out load. Yuki heard it while he was out for a walk before his class began. "You are an asshole now. How could you have been one in a past life? Oh, that's right. I forgot that you were a cat. Let me do some math here…so you have had at least nine chances to fuck it all up." I take a swing at him, but my fist makes contact with the pole of the fence, not his head. He walks away laughing while I am on the group rolling around in pain. Some day I am going to kill that motherfucker!
And to put the topping on the cake, I have been grounded. Not for the shit that I pulled at school, Akito has not caught wind of that yet. Anyway, I am in trouble because I was caught smoking on the roof and I accidentally set fire to some shit. This was not my fault either! Here I was sitting on the roof having a smoke, not in the way and that asshole Yuki had to come up on the roof to see what I was up to. Nosey fuck! He sneaks up on me, scared the shit out of me and I drop my fuckin' cigarette. My cigarette rolls off of the roof and sets fire to the bushed below and Yuki's garden. He has smoke blowing out of his asshole, but I see it as an opportune time to add to the flames. I turn to Yuki and smile. "At least it was not your bush that was on fire." He pushes me off the roof.
God, I hate my life. Maybe I will get hit by a car! Now that is some positive thinking!