Disclaimer: Alrighty, I'm sure everyone knows that I don't own the characters or storyline associated with the cartoon Saint Seiya/ Knights of the Zodiac. I'd like to be so lucky and as such, I am not making any money off of this. I am just borrowing the characters for a good ol' run around the park.

Author Note: Why me? Why me? Why me? * Ahem * oh hello there, don't pay attention to the screamin'... It don't mean a thing... Anyways, this is another attempt at humor on my part. Hahaha I'm trying to put all the obvious fics in this section before anyone else... Although I haven't read all of the fics and well, that could just blow my plans out of the water. Yippee! I finished making a great Saint Seiya Hades music video :) Maybe I should put it on Kazaa or something... What do all of you think? I just wanna share with the fans :) Finally, I wanted to thank FireEdge, Tatara Rose, Frontier of Darkness, and all the fans and fanfic writers for inspiring me beit with your own great works, words of wisdom, and just plain addiction to Saint Seiya (or is that just me?).

Anything But That

By: Rekkanotara

The dimly lighted room was quiet except for the occasional beep that came from the computer in the middle of the room. It was enough solitude and quiet to drive anyone crazy.

Tatsumi rubbed his hand over his melon of a head as sweat began to build up. He growled in frustration as he glared at the computer screen, "Damn it! Who really cares what the public thinks about those little brats? Ms. Saori doesn't need them; I mean I am perfectly capable of fighting off anyone who would dare to harm her." He sat back in the chair and heard a slight rustling behind him which caused him to turn around to see who was there. Finding no one, Tatsumi returned to his original position in front of the monitor with his head in his hands and elbows placed firmly on the desk.

Little did he know, Seiya had placed a small sign on the man's back which read, 'Whistle if my head is blinding you.' Seiya had slapped it on his back earlier that morning and for most of the day, Tatsumi couldn't understand why so many people felt like whistling today.

Down the hall in Saori's office; Seiya, Shiryu, Shun, Ikki, and Hyoga were all awaiting the report detailing how the public felt about the saints. They had originally gotten curious about it a few minutes ago as Shun was surfing the internet and discovered stories about the saints which he recalled were titled fanfiction. Of course he hadn't gotten the opportunity to read more than a couple stories as he was currently intrigued by this one particular author's story on Seiya's relationship with Saori.

Ikki and Seiya were busy off near the window of the room having a very heated arm wrestling match. Hyoga and Shiryu were watching the two intently as one of them would likely have to go up against the winner of this match.

Saori was sitting at her desk next to Shun and her personal computer reading a book. Occasionally, she would glance at the screen to see her name paired quite a few times with Seiya's. It was enough to make her blush; of course the others couldn't tell as she was doing a very good job at hiding her face within the book she held. Any second now, she'd probably discover that the book she held was upside down.

~*~

The reports had finally come in and the last few pages were now being printed. Tatsumi let out a strained breath as he was getting rather tired with such tedious duties. He picked up the first page of the report and began to skim over the information gathered from the internet. He got even more frustrated when his suspicions were shown to be true every other line on the page read, 'Shun, Shiryu, Seiya, Hyoga, and Ikki are so cute.' Tatsumi merely grumbled as he noticed his name was clearly mentioned even less in the fandomonium. He roughly slapped the page back on top of the pile and began to dig deeper into the stack of papers. At that point, his eyes couldn't get enough information and his mouth twitched into a disconcerting smile. Two words kept running through his head as he bounded off to Saori's office; angst and yaoi.

Shiryu and Ikki were now wrestling as Hyoga was helping to cool the pain in Seiya's fist. Seiya knew Ikki just got a bit carried away and didn't mean to slam his fist through the edge of the table, breaking off a small chunk of the table with the force, but somehow, all of Ikki's apologies did nothing to relieve the pain he was feeling.

Shun had just finished reading the finale to his story on the computer and was getting ready to click on another when a rather evil looking Tatsumi flew into the room, flinging the door wide open and carrying an arm load of papers in his arms.

Seiya quickly walked casually over to the larger man and swiftly removed the sign that was still attached to the man's back. The Pegasus saint knew that it was only a matter of time before the ogre of a man discovered the note and went after him. Seiya didn't feel like dealing with Tatsumi at the moment with his hand hurting as it did. And besides, Tatsumi seemed to be in an overly and eerily happy mood.

Saori was the first to speak up as everyone else continued to stare, "Is that all of it Tatsumi?"

Tatsumi replied, "Yes lady Saori and I believe you will all find page 47 very interesting and from then on, it only gets better and better." He extended his arm to relinquish himself of the heavy load onto the desk in front of his employer Saori Kido.

~*~

Tatsumi moved to stand besides Saori as everyone except for Shun had begun whistling a disturbing set of whistles indeed which caused the larger man to become uncomfortable and seek refuge near his boss.

Saori's face lit up as the others gathered around the desk eager to learn the results of their analysis of the stories gathered on the internet about them. Hyoga couldn't wait for Shun to finish reading because he to was interested in how the fans viewed him and all his glory.

Shiryu spoke up hoping to gain more information about why Saori was now smiling and had a goofy look in her eyes, "So what's it say?"

Shun couldn't help smiling also as he watched curious scene unfolding before him.

Saori began, "Well, it says that all of you are seriously hot babes." She flipped from page to page to page as they all basically said the same thing. Skipping ahead, she began to read aloud, not realizing what she was reading; "There needs to be more Shun fics and more Shun torture please..."

Shun stepped back slightly, taken aback by the comments just made about him. He couldn't believe it, the fans actually wanted to read more about him, but they wanted him to get hurt. Scrunching up his nose as tears threatened to slide down his cheeks, Shun whined, "What have I ever done to them to make them hate me so much?"

The large file was now split up; a small portion in each of the hands of the bronze saints.

Shiryu blushed a little as he had read the summary of a story in which he and Shun seemed to be a pair. He stepped away from the desk so that Shun wouldn't have an easy way to read his papers as well as Saori's.

Seiya seemed to be grumbling as he paced in front of the desk, "Why are there so many stories about me and Shaina?" He thought to himself even more complex thought processes coming into play.

- - - -

Well, I didn't want to stop here but I keep falling asleep. Is 2 hours of sleep per night enough to keep me sane or not? There is definitely another part to this story for those of you who are interested and I will try incredibly hard to get it up as soon as possible.