Oddly Comfortable Truths
~FawkesRises
Disclaimer: standard applies – I did use a phrase from OotP but in no way do I own it so nobody sue me
AN: I think it's time we got to know Sirius's little brother. He's become one of my favorite characters, why? I have no idea. I just think there's more to Regulus than he's getting credit for. It's mostly about his and Sirius's relationship. Plus I threw in the tiniest (and I mean tiny) hint of slash (not incest), I just couldn't resist. ^_^ After all a little harmless experimenting never hurt anyone.
Warning (kind of): Okay so I learned something from Seek, Keep, & Chase…for the Sirius lovers who might be offended, take it easy! I love Siri as much as the next person. But my Sirius is younger than in the books (eta: the fic is a look back for Regulus) so it's not like Sirius didn't learn to be a little more mature, understanding, etc. since then. There. That should appease the easily offended, if not-flame me! I bat .406. Just like Ted Williams baby.
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The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
~Oscar Wilde
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Everyone assumes they know all there is to know about Death Eaters.
Death Eater: noun. A follower of Voldemort. Evil. Cruel. Heartless. Easily manipulated…
Maybe I was all those things.
Maybe I wasn't.
I only know why I became what I am, what I was.
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I grew up in the shadow of my brother - Sirius was always older, better, braver.
Everything Sirius was, I wanted to be. Everything he had, I wanted. I suppose it's the curse of all younger brothers.
And like all younger brothers I tried to be like Sirius for a while. I copied his every move. This lasted up until he went off to Hogwarts and left me behind. After he came home that first summer, he didn't make a lot of time for me. I was his little brother. He'd made friends; he had other things to do.
So I turned to the only other people I knew. Our parents.
And I learned I could be noticed too.
I'd never been noticed before.
Mother and Father had always been preoccupied with Sirius. He was firstborn - so naturally he needed more attention to make sure he grew up with the capabilities to carry on the Black legacy. As second in line, I just wasn't the main concern.
It had never bothered me before.
But once Sirius was at school, Mother suddenly remembered she had another son. And once I got the slightest hint of her interest I found I didn't want to go back to being invisible.
So I worked on being the perfect son.
I did everything Mother and Father asked of me. I swallowed every belief, opinion, and affectation without question. It never seemed to be a bitter pill back then.
However while I was busy learning, Sirius was busy un-learning. Hogwarts opened up an entirely new world. And Sirius loved all of it.
Everything was fine until he started bringing his new world back with him in the summer. Mother and Father were furious. Sirius was in the wrong house. He associated with muggle borns and half breeds and who knew what else. He no longer listened to Father's long lectures on the importance of wizard purity.
That in itself caused enough quarrels.
Only Mother found out she could use me to taunt Sirius – 'Why can't you be more like Regulus?', 'Regulus doesn't cavort with Muggle lovers and werewolves', 'Regulus isn't a Gryffindor.'
The funniest thing was, I looked just like Sirius – the same hair, the same eyes, the same everything.
But neither Mother nor Sirius seemed to remember that when they were busy screaming at each other.
And so, by the time I went to Hogwarts in Sirius's third year, he'd pretty much stopped talking to me.
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By the time Sirius was sixteen, he was my parents' biggest disappointment. Their son, the heir of the noble and most ancient house of Black, a traitor to purity.
So he left.
I almost missed him.
I know he thought I was Mother's little lapdog. He probably thought I hated him just like our parents did.
I didn't.
It was amazing though because after he left home, it was the same as the years before he went to Hogwarts. All my parents talked about was Sirius. I don't know how they found out everything he did but they knew and meticulously evaluated bit by bit - over and over and over.
I don't know what they were looking for.
For a while they even interrogated me. Did I know why Sirius had turned? Was it because of that dratted Dumbledore? Had I seen anything suspicious?
I knew plenty. I knew what made my brother tick – I'd seen it my third year, coming back from supper.
My brother and the werewolf.
My parents were livid thinking they were friends.
If I had even hinted at what Sirius and his 'friend' really were to our parents…
But I didn't.
I never told them anything about what I saw. I kept my brother's secret. Heh, makes me sound like one of our house elves.
With my silence, pretty soon Mother and Father got bored with me. They just rattled on and on about blood traitors to themselves and whoever else was around to listen.
Needless to say the perfect son card didn't get me so much as a second glance during dinner.
So I did something bigger. (And now I realise it was incredibly stupid.)
I joined up with Voldemort.
Yep, what better way to impress your parents and completely alienate yourself from your brother – become a Death Eater.
When they found out, Mother practically fawned over me. Father threw a party. He walked around smoking his cigars and nodding. "Yes, yes we're very proud of Regulus. He's got the right sort of wizarding pride, he has."
What a joke.
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end.