A/N: I do not own Twilight. No infringement is intended.

Previously:

"Edward, don't," Bella said, her eyes full of compassion. "Please, don't. I know what you're going to say ..."

"I have to. Just ... let me, please." Edward took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, different now that she was a vampire, but still the lovely aroma of Bella. "I love you. I've never loved anyone before. Never thought I was even capable of it, but somehow, you opened my heart." He paused for a moment to cup her face. "my heart is not the only change you wrought in me, Bella. For the first time in an absurdly long existence, someone else matters more to me than me. Your happiness is more important than my own. I'm asking for you to come away with me now, to give me a chance to prove how much I've changed, how much I've grown just in the short time since I met you. I swear that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy."

Bella said simply, "Edward, I'm sorry. I love Emmett."

Tears spilled out of his eyes down his cheeks, contrasting with the smile he tried to force onto his face. "I know. I just had to try." He met her eyes and leaned in to press a lingering kiss to her forehead. "I meant it when I said your happiness is more important to me than my own. I've watched you these past few days and I can see that Emmett makes you happy, and I love you enough to let you go. But if you ever need me, know that I'll be there for you."

...

"I need your help," Edward repeated. He hunched over, rubbing his face, his elbows propped on his knees. He didn't look at her as he spoke. "I can't live like this any more. It eats at me day and night until I think I'll go mad. Nothing helps ... alcohol, drugs, sex. I can't escape it no matter how hard I try."

"Escape what?" Alice asked.

He pulled another paper from his pocket and handed it to her. It was a folded, crumpled wedding invitation still in its envelope. Alice had gotten one in the mail just like it, inviting her to the nuptials of Isabella Swan and Emmett McCarty. The invitation Edward handed her had someone else's name on the envelope, so he'd apparently swiped it.

"I love her," Edward said hoarsely. "I've heard all the bullshit about how time heals a broken heart and the pain would fade. Well, it hasn't. If anything, it's worse. Please, I'm in hell."

"I'm sorry," Alice told him, "but I don't know how I can help you."

"I want you to erase my memories," Edward said. "Not all of them, obviously, but the last four years should do it ... One last thing. You do have to make me a promise ...You have to promise that if it doesn't work, you'll kill me."

Chapter 1

..

"Canst thou not minister to a mind diseas'd,

Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow,

Raze out the written troubles of the brain,

And with some sweet oblivious antidote

Cleanse the stuff'd bosom of that perilous stuff

Which weighs upon the heart?"

Macbeth Act 5, scene 3

..

Edward watched Bella crawl up slowly from the foot of the bed, slinking toward him like a jungle cat, her chocolate eyes piercing as they stared into his. She straddled his hips and stripped off the brief negligee she wore, pulling it over her head and throwing it to the floor. Her dark hair floated back down around her face.

"Ah, fuck, Bella," he groaned, taking in the perfect alabaster expanse of her lush body. Her breasts, the most perfect pair he'd laid eyes on in far-too-long an existence, were full with petal-pink nipples that stiffened under his gaze.

"I love you, Edward," Bella said, arching toward him as he reached up to roll one of those gorgeous nipples between his fingers.

He reached under her body to position himself as she-

The door opened and Bella vanished.

"Jesus!" Edward snapped, yanking the covers up over himself. He glared at the intruder balefully. "Don't you knock?"

Alice seemed unperturbed by his anger. She hopped on the foot of the bed and sat there, Indian-style, wearing a purple tunic over black leggings, her feet clad in the most god-awful purple sequin-covered sneakers he had ever seen. On her lap, she held a small pink purse with a huge purple flower attached.

"Good evening, Edward! Come on, get up! Get up!" She bounced, shaking the bed.

Edward groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. The little imp had ruined a perfectly good fantasy, as well as the first erection he'd had in weeks. Alice was chattering on in an excited voice- scratch that, her normal voice, because she always seemed excited. Edward stood, wrapping the bed sheet around his waist.

"- least invasive method," Alice finished.

"What?" Edward asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Haven't you been listening? I said, I think I have found someone who can synthesize the drug compound we need for the first experiment."

"Great, that's great," Edward said, trying to muster some enthusiasm but failing dismally.

Alice rolled her eyes again. She hopped off the bed, looking around the room. "Are you packed?"

"Yeah."

"I'll wait for you to go shower," Alice said, pointedly, "But hurry, I want to get home."

Edward took his suit bag in with him into the bathroom. How long had it been since his last shower? He couldn't remember. It's not like he stank or anything because vampire skin didn't carry those kinds of odors but he did look a bit grimy. He turned on the water and stepped under the spray, washing quickly and leaning his head back under the spray to soak his hair. It was way too long. He needed to get it cut and-

Bella's hands slid around from his back to his chest. He let out a soft moan. He turned to look at her, her hair wet and slicked back, trailing in a dark river over her shoulder, hiding one nipple from his gaze. Well, that wouldn't do. He uncovered it and bent to lick the droplets of water from it. Her hand slid from his chest down, over his stomach, down-

Someone pounded at the door. An evil little someone. "What?" he snapped. Cockblocked again by that little demon!

"Come on, Edward." Alice came unbidden into the bathroom and started scooping up his dirty clothes. "Hurry up. You've been in here almost twenty minutes."

"Hey! A little privacy, please?" Edward threw a hand over his naughty bits to shield them from her gaze. Not that he was modest or anything, but he didn't want her to see the state his Bella fantasy had left him in.

"Jeeze, just think of me as your doctor," Alice said. "Come on, finish up. Rose is waiting for us."

"Tell Rose to go fuck herself," Edward muttered.

"I heard that! Are you always this grumpy when you wake up?"

"Generally, worse." Edward shampooed his hair, wincing when his fingers caught in the tangles and matted snarls. Conditioner. He was going to need a fuckload of conditioner. He slathered it on his head and let it soak for a minute before combing it through his hair with his fingers then rinsing it away.

Alice had departed, leaving some folded clothes on the counter top, a toothbrush and a comb. Where the hell had the toothbrush come from? Vampires didn't have to brush their teeth or worry about halitosis. Their breath was always sweet, alluring to their prey. The toothbrush wasn't his, and it was still in its packaging. Did she always carry emergency toothbrushes in that little purse of hers?

He purposely ignored the clothes, selecting his own from the suit bag. He didn't need the little monster laying his clothes out for him like she was his Mom. Maybe that was her problem, she'd never had a kid to devote her energies to. Back in the Victorian era, doctors had theorized that women needed to have children in order to avoid hysteria and disorders of the female parts. He smirked in the mirror as he combed out the last of the tangles. He ought to tell her that. He was sure Alice would just love it.

He dressed in his dark blue Brioni suit, the only one that was clean aside from the one she'd laid out for him. He stuffed her choice back into the case. He needed to buy some more clothes. His closets at the apartment he'd shared with Emmett had been overflowing but he'd abandoned them when he'd walked out of there with only his box and the clothes on his back. He wondered what had happened to them. He supposed the landlord had cleared out the apartment, selling the contents or perhaps donating them to charity. There could be a bum somewhere walking around in one of his tailor-made Jay Kos suits. Or perhaps Emmett had cleared out their things and put his in storage. It was the type of thing Emmett would do, being kind to someone who didn't deserve it.

Emmett. Just thinking his name sent a sharp bolt of pain through him. His best friend for nearly 500 years, his only friend. He missed Emmett so much sometimes. He shoved those thoughts away because thinking of Emmett would lead to thinking of Bella, something he tried to avoid unless it was one of his lurid fantasies. Soon, if all went well, he'd never have to think about her again.

He emerged from the bathroom with the bag slung over his shoulder. "Got everything?" Alice asked.

"Almost." The room had a small safe in the closet wall. He punched in the combination and opened it, retrieving a plain wooden box which he tucked under his arm.

"What's that?" Alice asked.

"Nothing," Edward said, shutting the safe. "I'm ready."

"Seriously, what's in the box?" Alice's curiosity was piqued.

"None of your business," Edward retorted. "It's private. Trust that I am not shitting you when I say that if you touch it, I will make you very, very sorry."

Alice shuffled her feet. "Sorry. I won't pry and I won't touch it, I promise."

Edward gave a tight smile. "Good. Let's go."

Edward held the door for her. They walked out of the room, Edward shutting the door behind them and went down the dark hallway. Edward had been in many vampire clubs and they all seemed to have two color schemes, Red Whorehouse or Goth Black. This one had gone with the latter, the walls covered in a dark blue and black Victorian wallpaper.

The hallway led to a large lobby with a blood bar in the back. Low, pulsing music played while vampires and their evening meals writhed on the furniture. Other humans, bite junkies or fang bangers watched the action with lust-filled eyes, waiting for vampires to choose them, some addicted to the pleasure of a vampire's bite, others hoping to sell their blood for money to buy their next fix. Some were simply drawn by the eroticism of their kind like a moth to a flame.

Edward noted Alice's avid curiosity. "Want to stay for a bit?" he invited.

If Alice could have blushed, she would have, quickly looking at the floor. "Uh, , um, we need to be getting home."

"As you wish." Edward opened the door and they exited into a regular human bar, a rather dismal one, a place where the torn vinyl seats were repaired indifferently with strips of duct tape and the mirror behind the bar was opaque with grime. It was sparsely patronized by a few doleful customers who had no idea what went on in the back. Edward and Alice slipped through unnoticed, turned a corner and went down a flight of stairs to the underground garage. Edward's Bugatti occupied a space near the front. "Did you bring a car?" Edward asked.

"No, I took the bus," Alice replied. Edward stopped himself from snorting. He had never ridden a bus, himself. Too much of a snob for public transportation.

"Ride with me, then," he said, opening the passenger door. After she was seated, he went to the front of the car and popped the hood where the trunk was located, stashing his suit bag and box in the small compartment.

"How fast will this thing go?" Alice asked as Edward started the engine.

"Two-sixty," Edward replied, pulling out of the garage onto the London streets. "Believe it or not, it handles better at higher speeds."

He punched a button and classical music poured from the speakers. "Ah, Canon in D Minor," Alice said. "I love Pachelbel."

"Hm. I wouldn't have figured you for a classical music fan."

"I like all types of music," Alice said. " In every genre, there are pieces of musical merit."

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged. "Country."

"Johnny Cash," she retorted.

He arched a brow. "Touche."

They drove in silence for a minute or two before Edward asked her another question. "What brought you to London, anyway?"

"The Queen," Alice sighed. "She insisted that Rose and I stay nearby so the patrols could keep an eye on us if we wouldn't stay in her castle. There have been some incidents over the past year where some of the Queens allies have been targeted. But it's not exactly a sacrifice to live here. I love London with all of its museums and art galleries."

Edward, who remembered the city when it was nothing but a fishing village on the banks of the Thames, wasn't much interested in museums. If anything, they tended to irritate him with the erroneous assumptions and incorrect interpretations of historians.

Edward found his way back to her house without directions. Alice lived in a small, two-story Tudor Revival cottage with mullioned, diamond-paned windows. Ivy covered part of it, the windows peeking coyly from under it.

"Sorry, I don't have a garage. I don't have a car, So I never needed one." She hated the thought of leaving this lovely car out in the rain and bird shit.

Edward shrugged. "It's just a car," he said.

Rose was waiting for them in the living room. She looked Alice over as if checking her for damage he might have inflicted. "I got her home in one piece," Edward smirked. Rose, as usual, said nothing. Rose was obviously not thrilled that Edward would be staying with them while Alice tried to find a way to erase his memories.

Alice showed him upstairs to a small room tucked under the eaves. Like every room in her house, its walls were hidden behind rows of bookshelves, sagging under their weight A twin-sized bed sat under the window, which was covered with thick, heavy drapery. The floor was bare wood with a light blue braided rug atop it.

"This is the only guest room I have," Alice said, apologetically.

"It's fine," Edward replied. "Trust me, I've stayed in far worse." He gestured to the shelves. "At least I'll have plenty to read."

Alice smiled and a pair of dimples appeared in her cheeks. "Rose and I are going to watch Dr. Who downstairs in the living room. Join us, if you'd like."

"I think I'll stay up here and rest this evening," Edward said. "But thank you for inviting me."

"If you get hungry, there's always bottled blood in the fridge. You, um, you know how to work a microwave, right?"

Edward nodded. He was not offended. Many Ancients rejected or were confused by modern technology.

"I don't usually, um, drink from live donors, so there's always blood in the fridge." Alice looked a little uncomfortable, as if dreading that Edward would ask her why she didn't use live donors when she fed. He decided to be kind, in spite of the two cockblocks, and refrained from questioning her along those lines.

"After came up with the formula for preserving bottled blood, really, why did you just give it away? I've heard rumors, but I'd like to hear it from you."

Alice sat on the bed and plucked at the blanket. "I didn't do it to get rich. I did it for all of us. That's what the queen changed me for, it's what she hired me to do. To figure out things that would help our people. The formula didn't belong to me."

"'Can you patent the sun?'" Edward quoted.

"Exactly. Jonas Salk worked to create a polio vaccine to help people, not to become wealthy off of it."

"How did you come up with the idea?" Edward asked. He was curious about how her mind worked.

"I was reading a book about Egyptian burial rituals. I found an apocryphal story that archaeologists had found a pot of honey in a tomb that was still edible after thousands of years. Honey doesn't spoil and if it clumps, all you have to do is warm it up. It didn't take me long after that to figure out the formula. Honestly, I'm surprised no one ever thought of it before."

"You have a very interesting mind," Edward stated.

Alice smiled, showing those dimples again. "Thank you."

He surveyed her with an appraising eye. She was inches under the five foot mark and she probably wouldn't have weighed ninety pounds soaking wet. He felt large and awkward next to this tiny sprite. "If I may ask, how old were you when you were changed?"

"Twenty-three," she said, plucking again at the blanket. "I know I don't look like it. I was really sick when I was kid, so I suppose that might be why I'm so short. Both of my parents were on the tall side, so go figure." She said it in a matter-of-fact tone, but he knew it bothered her a little.

After she left, Edward unpacked his case and then lay down on the bed to daydream about Bella. For some unfathomable reason, the vision of her wouldn't come. Frustrated, he got up and decided to explore the rest of the house.

Down the short hall from the room he'd be occupying was a small bathroom that held a clawfoot tub and a shower attachment on a hose. He briefly wondered if she'd allow him to remodel it for her and put in a proper shower. The toilet, unused in a house of vampires, had an arrangement of dried flowers in the bowl.

He opened the next door. Alice's room by the scent of it, and by the look of it as well. He couldn't imagine Rose would live in a frilly, pink bedroom that looked like it had been drawn straight from a Disney princess movie. Alice's bed had a white canopy with pink embroidered flowers and a matching coverlet. All of the furniture had been painted white with pink trim. The rug was also pink, shaped like a heart.

Good God, he needed to give this woman Dr. Carlisle's phone number.

On the bedside table, there was a picture of a younger Alice with a man and woman who appeared to be in their late forties. Likely, her parents. Alice must have been a mid-life surprise or she'd been adopted. Both of them were kind-looking with genuine smiles and Alice had the bright, healthy look of a happy child.

He put the photograph back in its place and moved on to the next room. Catching Rose's scent at the door, he thought the better of it and moved on. That woman scared him a little and he doubted she would take kindly to his snooping.

He went down the stairs quietly, avoiding the living room to the left. He could hear the television and see the bluish light it cast. To the right was the dining room, used as Alice's office, by the look of it. A computer was perched on the table and it was surrounded by papers, handwritten notes and books in no apparent order. Beyond it lay the kitchen. It had the normal appliances for show, and there was a minimal selection of food, all canned or bottled, nothing perishable. The china plates and bowls in the next cupboard that had never been used. Vessel virgins, to make a pun.

He opened the refrigerator which was full of dark bottles. He scanned them quickly. Apparently, Alice did not buy blood laced with alcohol or drugs. It was all ordinary AB, not even a sugary diabetic blood among them.

AB ... that was Bella's favorite.

He closed the refrigerator door and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Rose standing there, watching him silently.

She said nothing and Edward could think of nothing to say, either. They stared at each other for a moment.

"Er ... Well, goodnight," Edward said and exited the room with as little haste as he could manage. He took the stairs by twos and retreated to the safety of his room. Damn woman was creepy as hell. Alice seemed to adore her, though.

He lay on the bed and checked his watch. 10 PM. Fuck. The night wasn't even half over yet. He examined the book shelves, searching for something to read. Apparently, Alice wasn't a fan of fiction. History, sociology, biography, science ... she had a wide range of interests. He plucked out one volume and stared at it in disbelief. What kind of woman read a book on the history of salt?

He chuckled and put it back, selecting one of Carl Sagan's books to take back with him to the bed. He propped himself up against the pillow and began to read, hoping to escape or at least pass the time more quickly.

"He's really not that bad," Alice said to Rose during a commercial. "He's been very polite to me so far."

Rose gave her a skeptical look.

"If he turns into a pain in the ass, we'll put him up at the nearest hotel, okay?"

Rose turned her attention back to the TV. The show had started again. Alice had a sneaking suspicion that Rose had a crush on The Doctor. Alice's attention wasn't on the television. She was reciting in her head the things she needed to do tomorrow to prepare for the first round of testing. Edward's image kept popping into her head, interrupting her train of thought. His eyes were so sad.

Had Bella been his true mate? If she was, getting over it would be almost impossible. Vampires felt everything more intensely than they had as mortals. Love, hate, pain, pleasure, all of them were magnified and intensified. The grief of losing a mate was horrifying. Many killed themselves. Others went into long, hibernating sleep, hoping that when they awakened decades later, time would have dulled the pain to a bearable level. Others went mad and had to be executed by the Volturi.

The Queen was a true rarity. She'd lost her mate, James, three years ago in the Battle of New York but persevered. She had to, else her people would suffer. Alice could not imagine what it must have cost her to rise every evening and rule her realm, with agony her constant companion.

But maybe there was a solution, something that could help Edward and the Queen and others who went through this pain. Alice had only been researching since last night when Edward made his proposal but she'd already found some promising options.

She had to find a solution. Edward's life was on the line. She'd made the promise she'd kill him if they failed, but Alice really didn't think she could go through with it.

She'd have to find the answer because failure was simply not an option.