I just had to do a toddler twins story. I don't care if the ages are correct or whatever. It's Tonks babysitting Fred and George for god's sake, don't complain! OK OK, I don't own any of these characters. Please review!
"Err . . . hi, Mrs Weasley," Tonks said nervously, shutting the door behind her. Molly was clearly not in a mood to be tangled with.
"What? Oh, it's you Nyphadora. Come in."
Tonks wasn't sure if she wanted to come in, but did so all the same, looking apprehensively round at the paint-smeared walls, accidentaly bewitched objects (indluding what might once have been an old-fasioned Muggle camera that was now hovering near the ceiling and giving her a look Tonks didn't like at all) and thin coating of mucus that seemed to cover everything. She decided not to ask and followed Molly into the living room.
"Now dear," said Mrs Weasley, fastening some sort of triple lead to her three eldest sons. "I'm just taking Bill and Charlie to get their school things, and Percy's coming along too. We'll be back by tonight. Normally I wouldn't ask, of course, but . . . well, Arthur's busy at the Ministry and I'm afraid the two little ones just chew through the leads. They won't be any trouble at all, just don't let them near your wand." She batted away the camera, which had been attempting to maim her with a large tablespoon. "Ron shouldn't be a problem, he just sleeps mostly. If he starts crying just give him some milk, there's a bottle in the fridge. Well . . . have fun!"
Tonks got the distinct impression that Bill and Charlie were giving her looks similar to the sort you might give a small furry rodent who has just asked the Viscous Triple-headed Gutsucker Beast of Death for the time. Oddly enough, that was exactly how she felt. How had she got herself into this mess, anyway?
Flashback . . .
"Hey, Mrs Weasley."
"Hello, Nymphadora! Lovely day, isn't it? How are you?"
"Fine thankyou, Mrs Weasley."
"Say, Nyphadora, could you do me a favour? Me and Arthur would be terribly grateful. I mean, we'd pay you too, of course."
"Sure thing, Mrs Weasley. What was it you wanted me to do? I'm free all Summer."
"Oh, thankyou, Nymphadora! We really are most terribly grateful. It's just . . . well, we've been having a bit of trouble trying to find someone to babysit Fred and George, and . . ." It was at this point Tonks had stopped listening and started mentally writing her own will. She was just deciding who should get the remains themselves when Molly interupted her thoughts. "Well, I know you've never met them," thank god, she added mentally, "But I'm sure you'll get on just lovely."
Just lovely. Hmm. Well, the would soon see about that. True, she had never had the pleasure of meeting the boys, thank god, she added mentally, but their reputation was way ahead of them. Tonks had met many lucky souls who had been left alone with the twins for even a second, most of them in St. Mungo's muttering unhelpful things like "the knuckles . . . the horrible knuckles . . ." (Note: People who have read Discworld know I copied this.)
And now she must join their ranks. Who knew what terrors lay in store for her? All she knew was that they had red hair and were cackling madly in a cage on the top floor . . .
What do you think? I know it's short and probably really inacurate, but who really cares anyway?