Also, I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.
~*Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood: Chapter One*~
Once upon a time, long, long ago, a young woman lived with her sister at the edge of the forest. Her sister's name was Victoria Lord. The young woman's name was Tina, but ever since she had been a very little girl she had gone by the name of Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood. She had earned her nickname because of the beautiful strawberry-blond wig she often wore over her real hair which was just a mousy brown. Tina was so kind and sweet, but unfortunately just a wee bit ditzy. She was always dressed in the pretty red cloak and hood her sister had made for her with her cute little dog at her side by the name of David Vickers.
One day, Tina's sister called for her and said, "Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood, your evil bitch of a mother is very ill. Please take her these poisonous cookies, so hopefully the old bat will choke and die."
"Very well, Sister," responded Tina, taking the basket containing the cookies from her older sister.
"Now be careful, Tina," Vicki said to her sister as she kissed her cheek. "Don't stray from the path. You know you have a tendency to get lost. Also, do not stop on the way either as you have a habit of staring off into space and doing nothing for hours. And whatever happens, NEVER, EVER talk to strangers."
"Ohhh I promise, Vicki, I'll be very careful... and I won't eat even one of the poisonous cookies although they look sooo tasty. I'll save every single one of them for my evil bitch of a mother!" Tina promised.
"Alright. Hurry along then, Tina," Vicki encouraged.
Tina skipped out the door, the basket on her arm, and her little dog followed along behind her.
Tina's witch of a mother lived all by herself in a cottage on the other side of the forest. Tina had walked through the forest many times, so she knew her way. And if she got lost, her tiny little dog, David Vickers always knew where to go. Tina skipped along the forest path, singing to herself and enjoying the sunshine. "Ohhh David Vickers, isn't it a beautiful day?" she exclaimed happily to her cute little doggy.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a Big Bad Wolf popped out from behind a tree. "Well, hello there, sweet, sexy little thing," growled the Big Bad Wolf. "Now, just where are you going on this mighty-fine Spring day?"
Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood was feeling so happy and cheerful that she had forgotten what her older sister had said to her about not talking to strangers on her walk through the forest. She smiled sweetly at the Big Bad wolf and said, "Hello to you as well, Wolfy. I am going to see my evil bitch of a mother, Irene, who lives on the other side of this forest. She is feeling like crap today, so I am taking her a batch of poisonous cookies baked by my older sister, Victoria Lord. Maybe that will make the old hag keel over and die."
"Ohhh dear," spoke the Wolf, rubbing his hairy chin. "How very sad that your nasty, ole mother isn't feeling so well! I shall go and visit her as well. I'm sure she'll be quite pleased to have a visit by such a hairy beast such as myself!"
"Ohhh thank you kindly, Wolfy," spoke Tina. "That would be so very thoughtful of you."
"We must hurry then," said the Big Bad Wolf. "You go this way, and I'll go the other way, and let's see who reaches your bitch of a mother's house first!"
With those words, the Wolf had disappeared into the forest. He ran as fast as he could, taking all the shortcuts, until he reached Irene's little cottage before Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood.
He stood at the door of the cottage, huffing and puffing. He was quite pleased that he had beat Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood to her mother's house. The Wolf then rapped at the door, waiting for Tina's mother to answer it.
"Who the hell is knocking at my door?" called out Tina's nasty mother.
"Why it is I, Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood," the Wolf lied, making his voice sound like a young woman's. "Aren't you going to let me in, Mother?"
"What do you want, you annoying little cunt of a daughter?" Irene exclaimed hatefully.
"Please let me in, Mother. I have brought you some cookies," spoke the Wolf.
"Alright then," responded Irene with a heavy sigh. "But I am too evil and lazy to open the door, so lift the latch and come on in."
The Big Bad Wolf did as Irene requested and entered the cottage. And there was Tina's mother, feeling like hell as she lay on the bed upon a pile of blankets. The Wolf jumped on the bed and began licking Irene repeatedly, slobbering all over the old hag.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Irene screamed at the hairy wolf.
"I like to play with my food before I eat it," responded the Wolf. Despite Irene's screams, the Big Bad Wolf began to eat Irene.
"Agent Kent!" the old hag cried out, but no one came to save her.
In a single swallow, the hungry wolf devoured the rest of Irene. "Quite tasty!" he said as he put on Irene's clothes along with a blond wig and crawled into bed. There, under the covers, the Big Bad Wolf pretended to be Little Strawberry-Blond Riding Hood's mother.
Meanwhile, Tina was skipping as fast as she possibly could through the forest with little David Vickers trotting along right next to her. "Hurry up, David Vickers!" Tina called out to her dog. "We must get to Mother's cottage right away and give her these tasty, poisonous cookies!"
As she was walking, she spotted some ugly-looking weeds along the edge of the path. "Would you look at that, David Vickers," Tina spoke to her pooch as she stopped to collect a handful of the repulsive weeds. "I am sure Mother would just hate these! I think I shall pick her a bunch!" Tina had forgotten that her older sister Vicki had said not to stop along the way or to leave the path. She ran into the forest, collecting a great, big armful of rotten-smelling weeds to give to her wicked mother.