Fic Description: an intense look into Beca's mind starting in the first movie, moving into PP2. Beca thinks she's straight, but like a lot of things at Barden, Chloe makes her question that. Bechloe end game. Basically my attempt to write what I feel like is reflective/realistic progression of the characters in the story to an end that would satisfy me, since I am not hopeful that the franchise will ever do anything more to us than shipbait us.

This is also the first fic I've written in 10 years (I was 13). I'm definitely a better writer than I was then, but I have a lot higher standards since I've read a lot of amazing fics since then, so I'm highly critical of my own writing, any reviews or constructive criticism you guys could give would mean a lot to me.

Her head buzzed as she walked away.

What had just happened?

That crazy girl from the activities fair had barged into her shower and forced her to sing with her. In the moment her thoughts had mostly been occupied with trying to reveal as little of her body as possible, hiding, getting the girl to leave.

Where was that rape whistle when you needed it?

She was gone now, and Beca was left with a strange feeling. Everyday she went to class, walked around campus, looking past the faceless crowds of people rushing past—each with their own plans, friends, dreams, and agendas that had nothing to do with her.

"You know Beca, DJing is not a profession, it's a hobby"

The look on her father's face when he stood in her dorm room on the first day and said that squeezed her heart and hardened her. He was just another person who didn't get it. Music was everything to Beca, it was her constant companion, and it certainly had been there when her father had not.

She walked back into her room, set down her things and grabbed her headphones. Lying down on her bed, she flipped through her iPod and nestled in, closing her eyes. As the music began to wash over her she felt it—the resonance of the soul in the beats, the melody, between the words of the song that always brought her home. She was alone, but she never felt alone when the words in her ears could say exactly what she knew.

The world was full of people who were missing it. Her dad, Kimmy-Jin, her professors—everyone looked at her like she was some lost puppy that needed to be fixed. What they didn't know is that she was looking back at them seeing what they couldn't, that there was something in this world worth fighting for, worth taking the hard road for—beauty, music, hope. To fight to feel what she did when she found the perfect mix for a song, to listen back to something amazing and beautiful and know that you were in it, a part of it.

Beca woke the next morning; light was streaming through the window, to the sound of Kimmy-Jin leaving for class, the door shutting behind her as she rushed out. The headphones had awkwardly slipped off one of her ears and the band was jabbing into her neck. She sat up and felt the cable under her back and felt around for her iPod to see what time it was—8:57AM. Her first class wasn't until 12 today. She took the headphones off and pulled the cable out from under her and lay back down closing her eyes. The events of last night replayed in her mind. What could only be described as the sound of gravel personified into feeling crunched around the bottom of her stomach. The bright blue eyes staring at her through the foggy haze of steam, even the panic replayed in her body of being exposed, nude in front of this stranger. Her words bouncing off the hard tiles around reverberated in her mind.

How high does your belt go?

You have to audition for the Bellas!

The smirk on her face, the wink, and the way she stood there patiently, and she opened her mouth and sang.

Beca squeezed her eyes harder, burying into her bed, the way their voices had blended in that shower, the beating of her chest. She felt like her whole body was vibrating, but she was still.

… I am titanium

Her stomach was doing back flips, jumping, fingers twitching.

I'm pretty confident about, all this.

Her eyes snapped wide open, and she let out a breath. Her last words echoed in her mind—See you at auditions!

What the fuck.

Beca lay there for a few more minutes and then got up. Looking around she thought, Kimmy Jin is gone, time to actually listen to some music. She went to her desk and pulled up Kanye's "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy". Making her bed, getting her books together for class, putting on her clothes, she grabbed her toothbrush for a quick rinse before hurrying back to catch "All of the Lights"

Bouncing a little, her head nodded as she slung her bag on, grabbing her iPod to pull up the rest of the album while she closed the laptop to slip into her bag and turned of her speakers, headphones on. She locked the door behind her.

Her classes were finished, and now she was trying to figure out where this damn auditorium where auditions were. She stood in front of a map of campus trying to find the "Performing Arts Center" feeling self-conscious.

I must look like such a noob freshman. It's a month into classes, and it looks like I still don't know where the fuck I'm going.

Her eyes scanned down the building list on the bottom.

Where the fuck is this damn building. This is turning into way more trouble than this is worth—She spotted it finally. It would be on the other side of campus, and she was running late already.

Why is this damn University so big.

She marched across the quad past the student activities center towards a long set up steps.

Seriously? Why am I still doing this?

Eventually she arrived, the building had several entrances, and she weaved her way through the lower levels, a number of music classrooms and practice rooms before hearing the distant echoes of Fat Amy's bellowing rendition of "Since You Been Gone".

The singing became louder and louder as she followed the sound of voices. She opened a door and walked into the backstage, standing in the wings awkwardly. Had she just heard some dude say that the auditions were finished?

I guess it wasn't meant to be. If only I could find some way to slink away without anybody noticing-oh hey!

Beca caught the eye of the redhead that had accosted her in the shower and waved sheepishly. She dragged her feet across the stage. The redhead with the big blue eyes looked straight at her, and the moment they had shared flashed in her mind.

Beca knew she couldn't do this with her looking at her like that, she dropped her eyes and saw the cup on the table and grabbed it. She kept her eyes down on the yellow cup before her, terrified to look up at the people in the audience, most of all the redhead. If she had, she would've seen Aubrey's face, filled with uncertainty, disappointment at the corner of her eyes, and curiosity, and Chloe's face shining.

When she went home that night and lay down in bed. Maybe for the first time she thought that it might be kind of fun to be a part of something, but she tried to push it down

I probably won't make it anyway.

So with an unexpressed amount of surprise, Beca found herself kidnapped with a pillowcase over her head, dragged with all the too much ceremony to what she discovered later to be a practice space.

The weird initiation ceremony confirmed all of Beca's suspicions that everyone else in the group took all of this a lot more seriously than she was comfortable with as evidenced by her frequent eye rolls. The girls were jumping and cheering around her. Beca feigned excitement; clapping her hands and awkwardly smiling at the estrogen fueled screeching women celebrating next to her. They made their way to the amphitheater where the party had obviously already started.

So this was college, it was everything one would have expected from all the media depictions-dancing, a keg, and lots of people looking to make some regrets. She didn't belong here with these light hearted happy singing people, she had dreams, she had goals, she didn't have time to be wasting guzzling down beer and grinding on drunk tenors just to wake up with another night lost in the morning.

"I don't know what I'm doing here," said Beca, more to herself than anyone else.

Fat Amy replied, "Living the dream! Still can't believe they let my sexy fat ass in here."

Beca turned away, this might be the dream for them, but this wasn't what the dream looked like for her-this was just high school 2.0.

She heard her name being yelled like a terrible bird cry and turned to see that Jesse kid approaching her with so much hope on his little face. She shuddered as his volume failed to decrease while his proximity to her face increased. This kid was drunk, and now he was trying to flirt with her.

This isn't your all American coming of age college boy meets girl falls in love story, Jesse. I'm not that girl; I'm not your girl, your acagirl who will have your acababies.

Best to let him down Beca thought.

I'm not going to let him get any grand ideas that I would be that girl. Poor kid, let's save him some heartache, and maybe a hangover if possible.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure."

It'll give him something to do.

If I'm here, I might as well play along and participate so that I can say that I tried, though I'm sure that underage drinking wasn't what my father meant when he told me to "get involved".

As Jesse made his way towards the keg to get her a drink, Beca saw Chloe approaching her as well with the spring in her step that she was learning all too quickly was so distinctively "Chloe" when the ginger grabbed her two hands pulling her in, almost causing her to lose her balance. Her face was inches from hers. Obviously, Jesse was not the only one who had had something to drink, but as Beca looked down into the face of the beaming senior she caught no whiff of drink on her breathe. She couldn't help but smile at the wide-eyed enthusiasm and innocent hope she was coming to know all too well. Chloe's affection was there leaning in without any aid of alcohol.

"I'm so glad that I met you.."

Despite the events of the evening so far feeling reluctant and potentially regrettable, Beca knew in that moment that she was glad to have met the redhead too. She was certainly making things interesting. She leaned in even more,"…I think we're going to be really fast friends"

Beca half laughed, "Yeah!" this girl certainly knew how to grab you and pull you in-"Well, you saw me naked!" She gave her a wink. What else could you do in the face of someone so affectionate but play along?

She tilted her head and smiled incredulously unsure of where any of this was going. Chloe ran her hands down her arms, pulling back a little, telling Beca she was going to get a drink and slapping her own ass. Beca shook her head a little in a daze, who WAS this girl?

She felt like the only sane person in a crowd of people trying to get their crazy on, as evidenced to her when Jesse came over and screamed about being king of campus. Beca looked around, was she the only person witnessing this boy make a compete fool of himself? It was a bit surreal. The music came back up and the whole crowd proceeded to sing together as one drunken mass.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,

And you can let your hair down, eh

You gotta keep your head up, oh,

And you can let your hair down, eh

Beca smiled, something she wouldn't have admitted to anyone, least of all Jesse. It wasn't so bad. Even if all these people are crazy, at least they really do love their music.

The next morning the Bellas had their first rehearsal; she sat down in as far in the back as she could. When Aubrey kicked out that poor girl for hooking up with a Treble, she leaned looked around in disbelief.

How is it possible that these people take all of this so seriously, it's just a bunch people doing awkward choreography while making music with their mouths?

Her disbelief was only extended when Aubrey began to outline their intense rehearsal schedule and "extra cardio" to her.

Beca spent the rest of the grueling rehearsal weighing whether all of this was worth it, worth trying to convince her father that she had really tried. She would look around at all the other girls and see Chloe, looking peppy and perfect and smiling. Beca'd catch her eye and Chloe would nod back at her with an encouraging look.

Things were trudging along until they got kicked out of their first gig. As Aubrey began to chew Chloe out, Chloe revealed that she had nodes. For the first time, when Beca searched for Chloe's reassuring face she was hit with a sense of intense dread. What nodes were, Beca had no idea, but from the look on everyone's faces it was like Chloe had just uttered that she was dying.

Beca- "What are nodes?"

Aubrey- "Vocal nodules. The rubbing together of your vocal cords at above-average rates without proper lubrication. "

"They sit on your windpipe and they crush your dreams." Interjected Chloe. Beca was confused," Isn't that painful? Why would you keep performing?"

Chloe, "Because I love to sing."

When Beca walked away that day and headed to the radio station for her shift of CD stacking, Chloe's words echoed in her mind.

Because I love to sing

What would she do if the thing she loved so much caused her pain? What if every time she sat down and mixed a song she got a terrible headache, would she still do it?

She stepped on an extra crunchy leaf, opened the door to the station and walked in. Jesse was already there, looking at her with that goofy look. She wasn't really in the mood for this—cheery flirtyness. She couldn't help but give him a small smile; he really was trying so hard. Beca couldn't figure it out, was this some sort of attempt to meet cute his way into her heart.

Why had this guy not gotten the picture yet, was he just that dense? I'm not here to be your college sweetheart; I'm not even planning on staying here for more than a year.

This was confirmed to her when she was sitting on the quad one day working on a mix and he assaulted her with a caprisun and tried to show him how he was a happy shiny music movie lover too with ambitious dreams that were supposed to make her swoon.

"I want to score movies when I grow up"

Beca sucked on her juice pouch, when you "grow up". She wasn't a kid; she wasn't waiting around so that one day she could grow up. There was no magical land of when you grow up, but she couldn't bring herself to step on the happy go lucky cheery kid sitting before her.

"Yeah. You must really sweep your girlfriend off her feet."

"I don't have a girlfriend"

"But you have juice pouches and Rocky" she said sarcastically.

Though Beca wouldn't have admitted it, it was kind of nice to hear that she wasn't the only person around here who wanted to make music, but Jesse was just that, another person caught in the saccharine of Hollywood.

"The endings are the best part."

"No, the endings aren't the best part," thought Beca, "They're just setting you up for a let down because let's be real, there are no endings, life just goes on from one heartbreak and disappointment to another and go round and round again in the circle game"

Real music told the reality of pain and sorrow and suffering, when a song ended it didn't lie to you and tell you everything was alright, it just moved onto the next track. An album wasn't an emotional manipulator, as a part of a larger scheme to convince you that the same old story you were watching wasn't going to end predictably. Music just was.