Okay, this was just a little idea that came to mind. I was a little iffy about the song, which is Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne, because some people find it shippy. I assure you, that is not my intention!
This just came to me when Calvin was in last night's episode. And I wanna wish a big congrats to Mariska and Peter for adopting a baby son named Andrew Nicolas! They now have their own little trio! So go them!
Calvin Arliss had never really lost anybody close to him.
Except for Olivia Benson.
He had spent the majority of his short life living with a drug addicted mother, who was always busy with her own mother when she wasn't snorting cocaine or drinking a bottle of beer. Then he had lived with Olivia for all of two months, and had finally felt like he had a place in the world before his father sent him to his grandparents.
It wasn't that he didn't like his grandparents. They were okay. But they were a little too strict, and they didn't take time out of their schedules for him. They just lived their own lives.
So seeing Olivia again for the first time was incredible until she had been called into work. Of course he understood and even admired her job, but he had spent the rest of the day in a lonely solitude of sorts.
But seeing her again the second time was a whole different story.
Na na, na na na
I miss you, miss you so bad,
I don't forget you,
Oh, it's so sad
Soft music wafted through the air as he stood near a casket, uncertain as to if he should step closer or stay planted in place. Olivia lay so still that she looked like she was in a very deep sleep, her face pale and her hands crossed over her abdomen.
Finally the young boy mustered enough strength to take a step closer, tears springing to his eyes. He tried to blink them back, but they stayed stubbornly and his vision blurred.
Calvin shakily reached out to her. His hand lingered a few inches above her face for several agonizing moments before it finally gently brushed her cheek. He shuddered and pulled his hand away as if he had been stung.
It had taken a lot of persuading to coax his grandmother and grandfather to allow him to visit the funeral. But now he felt scared and wanted to run away.
I hope you can hear me,
'Cause I remember it clearly,
The day you slipped away,
Was the day I found it won't be the same,
He had only lived with her for two months before he was taken away, but in those two months she had shown him more love than his own biological mother had in twelve years.
He closed his eyes and briefly went back to the day he had been taken from her. He had cried out to her, but it did no good against the social worker dragging him away.
Opening his eyes, he choked back a sob. "Olivia…"
He felt a hand land gently on his shoulder, and looked up to see Olivia's former partner standing behind him, his eyes red.
"Hey, kiddo," Elliot said gently. "Wanna go sit down? They're about to start."
Calvin nodded weakly and sat down near the front, leaning miserably against the side of the pew. The preacher spoke, but the boy barely heard a word.
One of the biggest things that hurt him was he had been torn away without saying goodbye to her. And now it as too late.
I didn't get around to kiss you,
Good bye on the hand,
I wish that I could see you again,
I know that I can't
He had always known how dangerous her work was. But when Elliot had called him to tell him Olivia had been shot, he couldn't seem to understand why or how it had happened. She was the toughest person he had ever met, and he looked up to her for that.
He was tempted to run up to the front of the church and throw his arms around her. She was the only person who had ever really cared about him in his life, and he already missed her.
By the time he had gotten to the hospital, she was gone, and they wouldn't let him see her. For one hour he had locked himself in a bathroom stall and sobbed to himself.
Finally the casket was closed, and Elliot and Fin helped some other men carry it. Calvin trembled, wanting to run up beside the mahogany coffin and try to wake Olivia up.
But he couldn't.
I hope you can hear me,
Because I remember it clearly,
The day you slipped away.
Okay, I'm sort of mixed on how this turned out, but oh well, I posted it anyway. LOL. I'm considering doing another very similar, but Olivia lives in it. Haha. Please review, and maybe I'll get to work on that soon. And by soon, I mean sooner than three months :P