The Aphrodisiac potion
disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise, and I'm not the founder of the aphrodisiac potion. Thank JK Rowling for that. I don't make money with this, I just like to write.
Chapter 1: What the hell is going on here??
He was late again. Every year was the same. He would always fall asleep several hours before the Sorting Feast, and he would always wake when the students and staff were already eating. He cursed again, and put on a bit more speed, his robes billowing behind him. He was almost there.
He opened the doors of the Great Hall with a great bang and strode inside, satisfied in seeing all those petrified faces. Those students thought every year he had finally left, but then he would come in, smashing their hope in having an EASY potion teacher this year. He sneered at some students, not his own lovely Slytherins off course, but those annoying Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.
He wondered how many of them would get a nervous breakdown this year, and allowed himself a little smile.
Approaching the staff table, he noticed something was wrong. Albus and Minerva were on the verge of kissing *do NOT go there please, bad mental image* and Hagrid and Flitwick were batting their lashes at each other *it looks like opposites attract, but IIIEEEUWWWWW!!*.
On the way down to his chair, he noticed that several of his fellow teachers were trowing the students lusty glances. The ones who were not engaged in kissing, fumbling or leering at students were gazing at HIM!
He took his chair between the annoying Sybil Trelawny and the sex machine on legs, Helena Hooch, who were fighting over the pumpkin juice. He looked more closely and saw that the others were repeatedly filling their glasses with the beverage. He grabbed the can with pumpkin juice from their hands and filled his glass.
Sybil and Helena threw him a weird look, like they were on the verge of ripping his clothes off and ravaging him here on the table. He sneered at them, it always worked before, but today, it didn't seem to work. It was quite unnerving to see them leering at him, since they had never, ever done it before.
He took a sip of his glass and looked at the students. They were making a lot of noise as usual. Nothing looked amiss, the little brats were no doubt talking about how wonderful their vacation was, or about how great is was to be back, and what they would do this year to make an ass out of themselves.
He noticed that the Granger girl was stuck with her nose in a book again. He looked more closely and saw that the book was dealing with 'tampered potions and what to do with them?'. Miss Granger would be starting her seventh year, and no one was surprised when Albus made her the Head Girl. She was a perfect choice.
She had been offered an apprenticeship last year, by the whole staff, and the teachers were more than happy to give their favorite, and most brilliant student the apprenticeship. There had been quite a fight among the staff, but he had won and so she had become his apprentice. They got on quite well, and he found her to be an excellent person to talk to while working.
He turned his attention back to the pumpkin juice he was drinking. It tasted funny. Like there was a -... He slammed his glass down on the table, the juice spilling on his hand (the glasses are unbreakable, you know. Dealing with kids and breakable things...*shudder*) .
He whipped his mouth on his napkin, trying to get most of that horrible draught out of his mouth. Luckily he had not drunk the whole glass.... Now he knew exactly what was wrong with his fellow teachers. The juice at the staff table had been spiked, and the results would not be pretty. He looked back at the Flying Instructor and inched his chair back... right in the waiting arms of the Divination Fraud. She looked at Helena and grinned.
"I told you a willing man would find his way into our arms tonight. The Eye does not lie"
He tried to get away from the Evil Twins, who were now sporting identical evil grins, which told him exactly what they were going to do with him... and he didn't like it ONE BIT!!!!
He quickly freed himself from the seer's arms and pushed his chair back, careful not to harm Minerva and Albus, who had fallen out of their chairs and were now snogging behind his just-vacated chair. He avoided their grasping arms and walked to the front of the Head Table. He cast a forcefield, blinding and silencing charms on the table behind him, to make sure they would not hear one bit of what he was about to say to the students.
He pointed him wand at his throat, still casting nervous glances at the -now encased in spells- Head table. This really was a disaster. And the school year hadn't even properly STARTED yet!!
"Sonorus!"
The students who had not already looked up to watch the spectacle the Teachers had made did now and looked with huge question marks in their eyes at the Head of Slytherin, who was fidgeting at his robes (not a thing they had seen him do before)
*damn, the potion is already beginning to work !!* he swore silently
"Everyone, go to your dormitories immediately!! , lock your doors and tell the paintings not to let any of the teachers in. Don't go outside of your Common Room until further notice. You'll see red sparks above the Quidditch Pitch when it's safe to come out" his voice boomed through the Great Hall.
The students just looked confused and began to mutter nonsense. One voice rang out clearly and asked "But....why professor, we have only just started on our meals?"
Of course the only one to ask that question was Granger.
"For your information, miss Granger, and everyone should better listen, since I'm not going to explain things twice" the whole hall was silent, even his adorable Slytherins "The drinks at the Head table have been tampered with. Someone found it funny to mix a great amount of Aphrodisiac Potion with our drinks." There were gasps all around the hall, mostly from the older students, who had already covered this specific potion. "That should explain their...weird...behaviour. So just GO to your dormitories and don't come out!!! If you see any teachers on your way, which you will, since my little forcefield isn't going to last much longer, just run as fast as you can to your house....hell, ANY HOUSE.... And block the door." He concluded
"What about you sir? You've also drunk of that potion"
"I didn't finish my glass, so I don't have the huge quantities in my body like my colleagues have. It takes a few more minutes before it will have an effect on me. I know there's an antidote so that's what I'm going to do: brewing " He paused, looking at the shocked faces in the hall. "More questions, miss Granger, or have you finally ran out of questions for the first time in those 6 years you've been here??" he asked smugly
She tried to sneer at him, but failed miserably. Finally she stood up, and ordered all the students to go back to their Houses. There was a mad scramble for the door, since nobody was eager in staying within the same room with all those sex-craving teachers. Snape sighed when he saw the lovely Headgirl leave, but shook his head when he noticed it was the potion which began starting to work.....
N/A: I don't know when I'll have the time to update, because I'm practically DROWNING in my work.... But I'll try. I absolutely love reviews and don't give a damn about howler-like reviews. I know my grammar is not perfect, so pointing out little mistakes would be appreciated, and I will see what I can do about it
Until my next update, stay tuned (
greetings from Chibidaima ยงยงยง
disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise, and I'm not the founder of the aphrodisiac potion. Thank JK Rowling for that. I don't make money with this, I just like to write.
Chapter 1: What the hell is going on here??
He was late again. Every year was the same. He would always fall asleep several hours before the Sorting Feast, and he would always wake when the students and staff were already eating. He cursed again, and put on a bit more speed, his robes billowing behind him. He was almost there.
He opened the doors of the Great Hall with a great bang and strode inside, satisfied in seeing all those petrified faces. Those students thought every year he had finally left, but then he would come in, smashing their hope in having an EASY potion teacher this year. He sneered at some students, not his own lovely Slytherins off course, but those annoying Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.
He wondered how many of them would get a nervous breakdown this year, and allowed himself a little smile.
Approaching the staff table, he noticed something was wrong. Albus and Minerva were on the verge of kissing *do NOT go there please, bad mental image* and Hagrid and Flitwick were batting their lashes at each other *it looks like opposites attract, but IIIEEEUWWWWW!!*.
On the way down to his chair, he noticed that several of his fellow teachers were trowing the students lusty glances. The ones who were not engaged in kissing, fumbling or leering at students were gazing at HIM!
He took his chair between the annoying Sybil Trelawny and the sex machine on legs, Helena Hooch, who were fighting over the pumpkin juice. He looked more closely and saw that the others were repeatedly filling their glasses with the beverage. He grabbed the can with pumpkin juice from their hands and filled his glass.
Sybil and Helena threw him a weird look, like they were on the verge of ripping his clothes off and ravaging him here on the table. He sneered at them, it always worked before, but today, it didn't seem to work. It was quite unnerving to see them leering at him, since they had never, ever done it before.
He took a sip of his glass and looked at the students. They were making a lot of noise as usual. Nothing looked amiss, the little brats were no doubt talking about how wonderful their vacation was, or about how great is was to be back, and what they would do this year to make an ass out of themselves.
He noticed that the Granger girl was stuck with her nose in a book again. He looked more closely and saw that the book was dealing with 'tampered potions and what to do with them?'. Miss Granger would be starting her seventh year, and no one was surprised when Albus made her the Head Girl. She was a perfect choice.
She had been offered an apprenticeship last year, by the whole staff, and the teachers were more than happy to give their favorite, and most brilliant student the apprenticeship. There had been quite a fight among the staff, but he had won and so she had become his apprentice. They got on quite well, and he found her to be an excellent person to talk to while working.
He turned his attention back to the pumpkin juice he was drinking. It tasted funny. Like there was a -... He slammed his glass down on the table, the juice spilling on his hand (the glasses are unbreakable, you know. Dealing with kids and breakable things...*shudder*) .
He whipped his mouth on his napkin, trying to get most of that horrible draught out of his mouth. Luckily he had not drunk the whole glass.... Now he knew exactly what was wrong with his fellow teachers. The juice at the staff table had been spiked, and the results would not be pretty. He looked back at the Flying Instructor and inched his chair back... right in the waiting arms of the Divination Fraud. She looked at Helena and grinned.
"I told you a willing man would find his way into our arms tonight. The Eye does not lie"
He tried to get away from the Evil Twins, who were now sporting identical evil grins, which told him exactly what they were going to do with him... and he didn't like it ONE BIT!!!!
He quickly freed himself from the seer's arms and pushed his chair back, careful not to harm Minerva and Albus, who had fallen out of their chairs and were now snogging behind his just-vacated chair. He avoided their grasping arms and walked to the front of the Head Table. He cast a forcefield, blinding and silencing charms on the table behind him, to make sure they would not hear one bit of what he was about to say to the students.
He pointed him wand at his throat, still casting nervous glances at the -now encased in spells- Head table. This really was a disaster. And the school year hadn't even properly STARTED yet!!
"Sonorus!"
The students who had not already looked up to watch the spectacle the Teachers had made did now and looked with huge question marks in their eyes at the Head of Slytherin, who was fidgeting at his robes (not a thing they had seen him do before)
*damn, the potion is already beginning to work !!* he swore silently
"Everyone, go to your dormitories immediately!! , lock your doors and tell the paintings not to let any of the teachers in. Don't go outside of your Common Room until further notice. You'll see red sparks above the Quidditch Pitch when it's safe to come out" his voice boomed through the Great Hall.
The students just looked confused and began to mutter nonsense. One voice rang out clearly and asked "But....why professor, we have only just started on our meals?"
Of course the only one to ask that question was Granger.
"For your information, miss Granger, and everyone should better listen, since I'm not going to explain things twice" the whole hall was silent, even his adorable Slytherins "The drinks at the Head table have been tampered with. Someone found it funny to mix a great amount of Aphrodisiac Potion with our drinks." There were gasps all around the hall, mostly from the older students, who had already covered this specific potion. "That should explain their...weird...behaviour. So just GO to your dormitories and don't come out!!! If you see any teachers on your way, which you will, since my little forcefield isn't going to last much longer, just run as fast as you can to your house....hell, ANY HOUSE.... And block the door." He concluded
"What about you sir? You've also drunk of that potion"
"I didn't finish my glass, so I don't have the huge quantities in my body like my colleagues have. It takes a few more minutes before it will have an effect on me. I know there's an antidote so that's what I'm going to do: brewing " He paused, looking at the shocked faces in the hall. "More questions, miss Granger, or have you finally ran out of questions for the first time in those 6 years you've been here??" he asked smugly
She tried to sneer at him, but failed miserably. Finally she stood up, and ordered all the students to go back to their Houses. There was a mad scramble for the door, since nobody was eager in staying within the same room with all those sex-craving teachers. Snape sighed when he saw the lovely Headgirl leave, but shook his head when he noticed it was the potion which began starting to work.....
N/A: I don't know when I'll have the time to update, because I'm practically DROWNING in my work.... But I'll try. I absolutely love reviews and don't give a damn about howler-like reviews. I know my grammar is not perfect, so pointing out little mistakes would be appreciated, and I will see what I can do about it
Until my next update, stay tuned (
greetings from Chibidaima ยงยงยง