A/N: Obviously, the characters aren't mine. For the sake of my story, Violet never spoke to Matthew in his room about Mary.

The music played sweetly from the gramophone while Matthew and Mary danced in the foyer. The steps were simple, but the two moved so gracefully they hardly seemed like separate steps at all.

"We were a show that flopped," said Mary.

"Oh Mary, I am so sorry. Do you know how sorry I am?"

"Don't be. It was no one's fault. Or if it was it was mine."

"I suppose that story has ended. I'm marrying Lavinia, you're marrying Carlisle, and we've managed to remain friends." He tried his best to hide the disappointment in his voice, but his sad eyes betrayed him.

"Yes, it's all been very civil, hasn't it?" She smiled, consciously ignoring his eyes and determined to keep the conversation pleasant.

"So have you and Sir Richard set a date yet?"

"Not yet, but he's already bought Haxby, that awful, gaudy estate near Downton." She had to stop her eyes from rolling at the thought.

"You don't like the idea?"

"I suppose it's not so bad. I'll be close to Downton and heaven knows the house is large enough. Sir Richard and I will hardly have to spend a minute in the same room together. And he's got his newspapers; we may even go days without each other's company." As soon as she said it she knew it was a mistake. She had revealed too much already and couldn't bear the thought of Matthew pitying her. Still, it was too late to take it back now.

"Are you happy with him, Mary?"

She thought for a moment. "Sir Richard can give me power and a position. I suppose don't have the right to be unhappy."

They remained silent for a moment, the music still playing lightly in the background. Matthew's brow was crinkled in thought, as though he was wrestling with his own thoughts.

When he finally broke the silence, his internal conflict became clear. "I know it's none not my business, but…do you love him?"

She sighed in frustration. "Not everyone can be a romantic, Matthew! Not everyone gets to marry for love! I wish I could say differently, but that is not the world we live in."

"What are you going on about, Mary? You know as well as I do that you can marry anyone you wish."

"Not anyone," she replied, her eyes pointedly locking with his. "In any case, I'm afraid that was the old Mary. The new one has far fewer prospects and isn't getting any younger."

"I do hate to hear you talk like that. I just want to see you happy."

She knew he was telling the truth. She knew he really did wish only the best for her. The thought alone was enough to break her heart. He was so good and so sweet, in spite of all they'd been through and all the heartache she had caused them both. Her smile slowly began to wane.

"Don't worry about me; I'm never down for long."

He gave her a skeptical look, but did not push the subject. "You know I'm glad to hear it. It's getting late. I should probably go check on Mother and Lavinia; make sure they're not ready to go."

She watched him turn to walk away. His fiancé would be waiting; the fiancé he would be marrying in only a few days. Her dear Matthew would be a married man, never knowing what her pride would never permit her heart to tell. She felt a desperation come over her, realizing it may be the last time she saw him before the wedding.

"Wait! There's something I need to say to you. I know I shouldn't. I know it doesn't matter and I know I don't have the right. I'm afraid you'll think me very forward and this is all against my better judgment, but…"

"What is it, Mary?" He walked back to her and smiled warmly.

She hesitated. Her heart was racing, her palms were sweating, and her all the sense she was screaming at her stop. Still, she continued, the point of no return had already passed. "You're right, I don't love Sir Richard. I stay with him because…because it doesn't matter to me that I don't love him."

"I imagine love isn't always the deciding factor when it comes to marriage, but I always thought you were warmer than that."

"Then you're the only one," she nervously smiled back at him. It was much too late to turn back now. She could feel tears well her eyes, but willed her voice to remain steady. "Please, let me finish."

He nodded.

"I have been called many things, but never sentimental. I never thought I was but…you see, the reason it doesn't matter to me, the reason I stay with him is because I'm settling. If I broke our engagement and married the richest, most handsome duke in England, he would still only be second best. No matter what, I'll always be settling."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand."

Why would he understand? She hadn't said anything clearly. Taking a deep breath, she met his puzzled gaze with her tearful eyes. If she did not say this now, then it would never be said.

"The truth is…if I live a thousand years, I will never love anyone the way that I love you, Matthew Crawley." He was silent. Panic set in and she now felt his blue eyes to be more piercing than ever. If she did not look away, they would surely burn right through her. "And I know that you don't feel the same, and I know I had no right to…"

Before she could complete her thought, Matthew's lips were on hers. Their bodies were flush together and his strong arms wrapped around her waist in a tight embrace. The kiss was filled with so much passion, so much longing, that Mary's knees went weak. She held on to his neck, her fingers messing his neatly combed hair, eliciting a small whimper from him. She opened her mouth slightly, granting his eager tongue entry. It was her turn to whimper as their tongues frantically glided past each other.

Just then, they were interrupted by a voice entering the room. "I certainly hope I'm not interrupting anything."

To be continued.