Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, and all of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
Edward's arm tightened slightly around my shoulders and pulled me closer. He was laughing along with Alice and Jasper. As we sat around a small round table in the cafeteria, Edward looked at me and jostled my shoulders a bit. I knew he wanted me to laugh at Alice's joke along with the rest of them but it just didn't seem very funny.
"Are you okay?" Edward whispered.
"I need to get to English," I said as I squirmed out of Edward's cold grip.
"I'll walk you to class," Edward said as he stood up to follow me.
"No, it's okay. I'll see you later," I called while I hurried out of reach.
Even without looking back I knew Edward's eyes were following me.
I exhaled while I raced around the corner and stumbled into Mike.
"Hey, Bella!" Ever since my return from Italy, Mike had been all too eager to talk to me just like when I first arrived in Forks during my junior year. In the past, his lame attempts at getting my attention had annoyed me to no end. Lately his antics hadn't seemed so bad. I found him annoying only part of the time.
"Hi, Mike," I responded with a slight smile.
"I'm really looking forward to this new unit in English class," Mike said as we entered the classroom.
"Gothic novels?" I responded.
"Yeah, we're starting out with The Hunchback of Notre Dame."
"Oh."
"You don't sound too excited," Mike replied.
"I had to read it back in Phoenix. It's okay."
"We're also reading Frankenstein," Mike continued.
"I can't wait."
"But what I'm really looking forward to is . . . Dracula!" Mike said with a pathetic Bela Lugosi impersonation.
Oh, please.
Mike was back to annoying me full time.
I practically ran to my truck after the last class of the day. I knew there was no way I could get out of the parking lot before Edward saw me, but I hurried anyway.
"What's the rush?" Edward said as he walked toward me.
"I have to get to work," I answered.
"I didn't know you were working today," he said, frowning.
"Well I am," I said, deliberately.
"Bella, what's going on?"
"I am going to work," I said, emphasizing each word.
"Bella," Edward sighed.
"What?" I snapped.
"You seem upset."
"Do I?"
"Yes, all the time. I think we need to talk about it."
"Talk about what?" I mumbled.
He paused. "Italy."
"Oh, not again."
"Bella, Italy was terrifying. We've never really discussed it."
"I have to go," I said as I climbed into my truck.
"I'll see you . . ." Edward started to say. I turned the key letting the roar of the engine drown him out.
As I pulled out of the parking lot I willed my eyes to look straight ahead and not watch the receding figure in my rearview mirror.
My shift at work ended a little later than usual and I drove home thinking that Charlie would be upset. He had every right to be angry with me after what he referred to as "that crazy stunt." He told me I was grounded until doomsday and shouted, "that Cullen boy will never walk through this door again." In typical Charlie fashion he never said one word about how he felt or what it was like for him while I was gone. But I knew I had truly frightened him and he needed to do something to feel like things were under control again. I was relieved to be home and looked forward to a getting back to a normal life. At first the familiar routine of school and work seemed so comforting. I didn't even mind being grounded. My days were busy and my nights were quiet. Since Charlie had laid down the law about Edward never entering our house again, I thought it best to honor his wishes in every way. Edward reluctantly agreed.
As I approached my house, I looked for Charlie's police cruiser. My grip tightened on the steering wheel when I noticed a silver Volvo instead. I sighed as I parked in the driveway.
"How was work?" Edward asked as opened the door to my truck.
"You shouldn't be here," I answered without looking at him.
Edward paused. "Can we talk?"
"About Italy?" I said as I got out of my truck, my head down.
"No, about Charlie."
I looked up. "What about Charlie?"
"Is he still angry?"
"I don't know. We really don't talk about it."
"Well, what do think?" Edward pressed.
"I think he doesn't want to talk about it," I answered flatly as I turned my back to him to close the door.
"Bella, you know what I mean," he countered.
I quickly turned to face him, taking a step forward. "No Edward, I really don't know what you mean. Go ahead and tell me what you mean. Come on, tell me right here and now just exactly what you mean," I exploded.
Edward stared at me with his lips pressed together.
"Well, I'm waiting," I said, impatiently.
"I want to see you tonight."
"You're banished, remember?"
"I'm coming over. I'll see you later," Edward said, not giving me a chance to answer as he walked towards his car.
Brittle as ice, I glared as he drove away.
I fixed a meal of meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. Since coming home, I had tried to make all of Charlie's favorite comfort foods. As usual, Charlie and I talked little during dinner and were not bothered by each other's silence.
"I'll clean up," Charlie offered.
"No, Dad. I can do it."
"You've been doing all the cooking and cleaning around here lately. I'm giving you the rest of the night off."
"I don't even have that much homework tonight. I can do it."
Charlie looked at me with questioning eyes.
"No really, Dad. You go relax and catch a game on TV. I've got this covered."
"Okay. But tomorrow night I'm on kitchen duty."
"It's a deal."
I actually had more homework than I said, but wanted to stay downstairs as long as possible. After drying the last of the dishes, I thought about doing my homework at the kitchen table, but knew that I would never be able to get anything done with the sound of a game invading my ears. I paused at the bottom of the stairs before heading up with my backpack.
As I entered my room I saw Edward sitting in his familiar place in the rocking chair.
"What are you doing? Charlie's still up," I hissed, irritated that he would be brazen enough to arrive so early.
"I told you I was coming over," Edward said evenly.
"What if he hears you?"
"I'll talk quietly," Edward answered. "Will you?"
"Is this why you came over so early? So I'll have to keep my voice down so Charlie won't hear?"
"Bella, this afternoon you were getting a little . . ."
"A little what?"
Edward paused. "Out of control."
"You think that if I raise my voice a bit I am suddenly 'out of control'?"
Edward looked at me. "Bella, I need to say something to you. I hope you can hear me."
"You're sitting right there. Of course, I'll hear you."
"I mean I hope you can understand me."
"Well, what?"
Edward closed his eyes for a moment then continued. "Bella, ever since we got back from Italy you have not been yourself."
Oh, please, not Italy again, I thought. It's behind us, let it go.
"I don't know if you can see it in yourself, but you are increasingly irritable and angry. It seems like everything I do and say is upsetting to you."
You really don't know why? I clenched my teeth as a surge of anger rushed through me.
"Carlisle thinks you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome."
"You have been talking to Carlisle about me?" I said, infuriated to think my feelings had been a topic of conversation.
"I'm very worried about you. You really need to talk about this."
Let. It. Go. My knees began to shake.
"What happened in Italy was terrifying. It's only natural that it would have an affect you. I think you need to talk about it," he continued.
How can you be so oblivious to what's really going on? My head started to pound.
"Bella, can you understand me? Do you know I mean?"
My voice, steely and hard, answered, "You think I need to talk to a therapist?"
"You need to talk to someone."
"You really think Italy is the problem?"
"Yes."
I stared at him, not believing that he could be, so blind, so unfeeling.
"You are totally clueless," I said, my head pounding.
"What do you mean?"
"You have no idea what I've been through."
"I was there, too," Edward answered softly.
"But you weren't here."
"What?"
"Italy is not the problem," I hissed.
"Bella, I know this is hard to face . . ."
"Hard to face?" I shouted. "You don't know anything about hard to face."
"Bella, shhh."
"Hard to face is being thrown down a black hole with no way out."
"Bella, Charlie will hear," Edward pleaded.
"A big black hole full of nothing."
"You're not making any sense."
"You still don't get it."
Like a flame-thrower, my anger shot across the room.
"You left me!" I shouted.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I've given you a thousand apologies. I'll give you a thousand more if that's what you need. Please, just tell me what you need."
"Nothing. We both know you're pretty good at giving that."
"Bella, please don't do this."
"Don't do what? Say it out loud? You walked out on me!"
I could hear Charlie running up the stairs.
"Leave!" I snarled.
"Bella," whispered Edward.
"Bella, are you okay?" called Charlie from the other side of the door.
"Get out!" I yelled, glaring at Edward. "GET OUT!"
Edward's face was knotted with fear and confusion as he quickly climbed out the window.
"Bella, what's going on?" shouted Charlie as he charged into my room.
I caught my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. The blazing anger roiling inside made me almost unrecognizable. But my expression was one I had seen before. It was the same look of furious rage Edward had given me on the first day we met.