A/N: My entry for the NedCan Secret Tulip Exchange, huzzah! I wanted to post this on May 4th on here, but I had to be in Germany this weekend without access to the interwebs. But I'm back again, and now you fine people who haven't read it on tumblr can read it too. This one is for you, Panoramicc, I hope it's to your liking. Enjoy.

Warnings: Rated M just to be safe for the following things: fingerlicking, Johan and Maddie being silly, the word fucking gets used a lot, and some non-descriptive sex. Sorry y'all, my fingers still refuse to co-operate properly with what my mind thinks up. I'll get it eventually.

Disclaimer: Hima still hasn't married me yet, so no ownage of Hetalia for me.

Not a lot of people know this, but Johan does in fact use his kitchen on a regular basis. Just not for cooking. He sucks at it. He makes a mean stamppot and boerenkool met worst though, but as Romano has told him a million times: "Mashing shit together and covering it in gravy doesn't count as cooking, you wannabe potato bastard!"

So cooking in his fancy, fully outfitted kitchen is out. Baking however, is not. He has spent countless hours making all sorts of sweets and baked goods, either by himself, with his sister Margot, or with the little princesses whenever he was babysitting them. But as much as he loved baking with them, his absolute favorite baking buddy was Maddie.

Ah, Maddie. With her beautiful honey blonde hair tied up in a bun to keep it out of her face and her equally beautiful violet eyes which were closed in concentration at the moment as she was tasting the latest batch of cookie dough. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't incredibly turned on by the way she was sucking on her finger. After giving it a final lick (causing him to bite his tongue to prevent a moan from escaping, he knows better than to disturb her while she was busy perfecting a batter) she scrunched her eyebrows a bit and added some more ingredients. After mixing the dough again she dipped her finger in it, covering it in a new coat. She was about to taste it when she felt a strong arm grabbing her by the waist and turning her around. She was about to protest when Johan took her hand and started licking the dough off himself.

"If you wanted a taste you could have just dipped your own finger in it you know."

"I know. Buuuuuut..." he said before twirling his tongue around a final time and biting the tip of her finger before he backed away, smirking when he noticed how her cheeks reddened a bit by that final move. "...it just tastes so much better if I just use your finger instead."

"Oh? And what if I told you that I had been picking my nose beforehand, what then?" She inquired after she willed her blush away, giving him a cheeky grin.

"Then I'd say you need to do it all the time, because I can honestly say that I haven't had cookie dough that good in a long, long time." He answered with a straight face. Maddie burst out laughing at that.

"Eww, you're so gross!" She said when she was finally done laughing.

"I'm gross? You're the one who brought it up."

"I didn't think you'd go along with it, ya freak." She gently smacked his nose with a plastic spatula, still grinning a bit. Johan grinned back as he closed the distance between them and grabbed her by the waist again, dipping her.

"Baby, if you're involved I go along with anything. Especially if it's freaky," he managed to say in his best sleazy porn actor voice, wiggling his eyebrows for an added effect. Maddie burst out laughing again.

"Good God, where do you come up with this stuff? And please don't say it's from a bad porn movie you starred in."

"Bad porn movie? Clearly you haven't watched Salesman of Seduction, otherwise you wouldn't be saying that." He said, sounding a bit insulted. Her eyes went wide. "You actually starred in a porn movie?! I was just joking!"

Her cheeks immediately flared up again, and she averted her eyes, finding a newfound interest in the spotless kitchen floor. Johan gently grabbed her by the chin, locking eyes with her. A mischievous smile escaped him.

"I was joking too."

He could see how her blush intensified, with anger this time, and quickly leaned in for a kiss to prevent her from yelling at him. She decided to bite his lower lip instead to get her point across. He smiled against her lips before pulling back, licking his lips and enjoying the view of her red face.

"I hope you enjoyed tasting me as much as I enjoyed tasting you."

"You're just impossible. I should have bit you harder."

"Oh baby, yes! You know I like it rough." He replied with a wink before kissing the tip of her nose and letting her go. Maddie let out a defeated sigh as she poked him in the chest, pushing him back a bit. "You're hopeless."

"Hopelessly in love with you, tasty little stroopwafel of mine," he cooed as he pinched her cheeks, making her laugh again.

They continued their antics for a while before Johan noticed a suspicious black cloud coming from the oven. He quickly rushed over to try and salvage something, but was too late. The brave little gingerbread men didn't make it.

"Such a waste," he said with a sigh as he dumped the charred remains in the trashcan. "Sorry, Maddie. I know you were looking forward for these." Maddie just smiled as she hugged him from behind.

"I don't mind, Johan. Your antics made me laugh so much that my mouth cramped and started to hurt, so I wouldn't have been able to eat them anyway." A smile escaped him.

"Don't go blaming it all on me missy, you were just as guilty of that. What do you propose we do then?" He said, putting his hands over her arms.

"Well..." she started before she removed herself from him and went to grab the bowl of cookie dough, "...we can always use this." She held the bowl in front of him.

"Oh yeah. The dough that started this whole mess."

"Now, now, Johnny. Don't go blaming the innocent cookie dough for the fact that you can't keep your hands to yourself."

"You're right, I blame it on you and your erotic finger licking."

"Oh please, I was just tasting the dough! There was nothing remotely erotic about it!"

"Oh no? This is what you were doing!"

He dipped his finger in the dough and brought it to his lips. Staring intently at her to make sure she was watching him, he gave his finger a slow lick. When that didn't get a reaction out of her slid his entire finger in his mouth, sucking the rest of the batter off. A small 'pop' sound filled the kitchen when his finger came out completely clean from the batter and glistening with a layer of saliva instead. He closed his eyes as he licked his lips for a final taste, letting out a content sigh. "Fucking fine piece of cookie dough, Mads. Fucking fine."

A mischievous grin escaped him when he saw her biting her lower lip and clenching her fists. Bingo. Now all he needs to do is close the deal. He dipped his finger in the dough again, covering it in a new layer and moving it towards his mouth. But before he could work his magic again Maddie grabbed his hand, staring him down. Johan raised an eyebrow in amusement. Of course she wouldn't just go down without a fight.

"Like I said, that wasn't erotic at all." She said, still staring him down.

"Oh?"

"Not even in the slightest. For starters, you need to use your tongue more. Like this."

"Wha-ah!"

He couldn't help it. The second she took his finger in her mouth and started working that silver tongue of hers he pretty much lost it. It took all of his self-restraint to let her continue without tossing her on the kitchen table and having her right then and there. But it was getting harder and harder. (And yes, that applies to both the situation and the Solid Snake in his pants.) (Johan named it Solid Snake. You should see his face whenever someone mentions the game and character. It's extremely hilarious. And he's secretly just immature like that.)

Maddie noticed, and with a smirk almost evil enough to rival that of Ivan she gave his finger a final lick and bit the tip of his finger, mimicking his actions from earlier. She then leaned closer towards him and whispered in his ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine. "Fucking fine cookie dough indeed, Johnny. Fucking fine indeed."

Now, if she had just moved away after that and gave him a little time and space to pull himself back together he would have done just that. Pull himself together, make a snappy comeback, continue with the baking. But no. As if getting a pseudo blowjob and some sexy whispering wasn't enough, she had to fucking go and lick the shell of his ear and squeeze his ass too. Maddie wasn't too surprised to find herself pinned against the fridge while a hot mouth was ravishing her lips and strong hands were helping her out of her clothes. Those same hands then continued to touch and caress her, sending waves of pleasure through her entire body. That same hot mouth moved from ravishing her lips to ravishing her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her sex, all the while telling her how much he loved her, over and over and over again. And just when she thought things couldn't possibly get any better he drove her over the edge, holding her close as he came undone as well.

After a few moments their panting became steady breathing again. Johan had pulled Maddie in his lap in the meantime so she wouldn't have to sit on the cold, hard, and now messy floor. He should probably clean that up soon. He ran his fingers through her hair as she snuggled up to him and planted a small kiss on his collarbone. A smile escaped him.

"Have I ever told you that you're my favorite baking buddy?" He said, tightening his grip on her. Maddie smiled and put her arms around his waist in response.

"Have I ever told you you're mine?"

A/N: Is it me or was the fingerlicking actually sexier than the actual non-descriptive sex? *reads those parts again* Nope, the fingerlicking was definitely better. I need to try and write more sex(y) scenes to improve, dammit.

Well, this was my attempt at writing a fic for someone else. It was fun :D. I hope you guys had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.