Author's notes: I want this to happen on the show. Would make up for so much this season.
Listen to Kevin Garrett's 'Coloring' for the tone, as it inspired this fic.
Timing
By Atheniandream
There's no coloring around us anymore
You either know
Or you don't
He hears the words come out of his mouth in measured syllables, watching as her face turns to stone in an instant.
Paula,
I made a mistake with us.
For such an understanding woman, she is livid, picking up on his intention and his insinuations in an instant, like he expected she would. He feels out of body, blinking at a half pace as she reams off a tirade at him that seems to come at him in slow motion, a mixture of colourful words, with her pointed English tone, all fired cleanly at him with ammo she seems to have saved up for a moment just like this.
I'm Sorry. I can't do this with you…
Not when he's thinking about her.
It takes fifteen minutes, and a swift slap across his face, until he nods, turning to leave at a pace.
He knows he's an asshole. He's no hero to anyone in this, but it's not his priority right now.
All that matters is getting to her.
Finding her.
Telling her that he's worked it out. All of it. Finally...
His heart is beating ten to the dozen, the combined adrenaline of racing across the city.
He looks up and over Ray's shoulder, noticing the lined up traffic, a blur of yellows amidst black. It's Friday evening and the city isn't pulling any punches tonight.
He taps his foot, willing the traffic to spread around him and allow him passage.
How can the city be so against him in this, when he's tried for so long to ignore every moment it threw at him and now when he chooses to move with the tide does it step in? Are the fates pressing at him for a bigger gesture? To see the bigger picture?
What can be bigger than this?
Than her.
He feels it. They are reaching her neighbourhood now, but not quite there yet. The traffic is starting to form into one single celled organism, an amoeba of wall like metal, bonnet to boot in front of a now ochre spattered sky.
He groans, a sharp, an almost painful sound as he looks out onto the calm sea of cars.
"Ray," He says, swallowing pointedly, the flight in him as he gains the man's attention. "I'm gonna get out here. Meet me there?" He asks.
He watches his driver nod, as he pushes the car door open, grasping at his long woolen coat against the gust of wind that streams along the wide space between city buildings as he shuts the door of the car with a push.
"Harvey?" He hears Ray call for a moment, as the front passenger seat window rolls down to show his face.
He looks to his long time friend.
"Go get her." Ray orders softly, a warm smile filling his face.
Harvey half smiles, nodding, before making his pursuit on foot.
He's tired. He's tired of all of this, not just the running. The whole gambit of him and them and the mention of the 'us' in the room like it's his personal pink elephant.
He had made a bad choice. Fuelled by fear and by the unknown. He didn't know that she'd rip away from him in the midst of it all. That she wanted more, and wasn't taking no for an answer anymore.
All he had ever done was try to keep their little world together. For all the good and bad reasons.
He had been terrified of losing the very thing that he had lost anyway.
He thought he could fill the void. Stem the flow that was them, breaking down at the very seams. Thought he could fool himself into moving on, and having both.
But she told him.
If you were ever lucky enough to have me, you wouldn't want to share.
She had been right. But the outcome had transpired differently. He couldn't have a relationship and expect to keep her. He had been selfish. He knows that now. Had learnt it to his own detriment.
He's only got two blocks left, as his dress shoes pound the ground heavily, he takes each hurried step against his unsettled heart as it beats to the promised rhythm of high heels and flame red hair.
He sees the trees, recognises that her apartment block is a mere step after them. It gives him hope. It fuels the last leg of his journey.
He stops himself, spotting vibrant copper hair draping out of a cab along her sidewalk.
He swallows, his face twitching at the sight of her, a kind of relief at her own black coat swooping around her calves as she steps over the curb. He breathes in, his mouth filling with words that he's suddenly ready to say. Words he's been keeping for her, all this time.
In the next moment, he's hit with a brick wall.
A man, tall and enviable springing out of the car behind her, grasping at her to spin her round, his hands finding the curves under the heavy fabric that she wears. He kisses her lavishly. Fully. It means something, when she smiles against his mouth.
He is rooted to the spot, blinded by the sight like an oncoming train.
He sees her pull back, looking into the man's eyes.
"I love you," She tells the man.
It's not him.
"I love you, too." He hears the man reply.
It's not him.
He feels his chest implode, like all the lights in his world have gone out, swiftly laid waste to the gusts of wind that brush against his suddenly shaken form.
She doesn't spot him, a mere fifteen maybe twenty feet away, as she pulls the man towards her building.
Six months ago she would have.
When he follows after them, limply, he watches her not miss a beat, taking in everything but him, as he stands there, the door to her building shutting with a clank and leaving him alone.
He's too late.
Like always.
He's always had always had a problem, with her,
With timing.
Stay for the night, tell you why nothing's right if you're gone
Stay for the night, if it's all a lie, I wouldn't mind if you're wrong
Stay for the night, we've been alright for so long
There's no coloring around us anymore
You either know it or you don't - 'Colouring' By Kevin Garrett
I literally can't help it.
I'd stop writing if they gave us something tangible that was cohesive in a character way. But look at season six? And now with seven...
#rewritingthefuture
As always please feed the kitty xo