Snape and the Mirror of Erised
Summery: Whilst searching for a student out of bed one Christmas night Snape discovers the mirror of Erised and sees the woman he loves. Companion piece to the chapter "The Mirror of Erised" in the Philosophers/Sorcerers stone. Snily. Canon compliant
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from this story nor am I making any profit from it. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling
AN: Some points in this story are marked with "*". at the bottom of the page it will tell you where exactly in the book this relates to should you wish to follow it in the book (this is not necessary and to my knowledge nobody has ever done this, but i wanted to make the option available)
I was sitting in an old classroom that me and Lily had used for meeting in back in our school days. (being in different houses we had to have somewhere), I was thinking about Lily and the Christmas's we spent together before the war, before I called her... that disgusting name, when Filch found me. "You asked me to come directly to you, professor, if anyone was wandering around at night, and somebodies been in the library Restricted Section."* he said. I almost smiled, only in my head of course, here was something to distract me from my own wretched thoughts "The Restricted Section?" I said "Well, they can't be far, we'll catch them." Filch had always sucked up to me a little, complying with my little requests. It wasn't hard to get on his good side, just talk about longing to torture the little brats like in the "good old days" and he was loyal for life. He hadn't even realised that the "good old days" about which we reminisced happened before I was born.
I wandered the castle for an hour, thoroughly checking the library and all the classrooms on the floor. I knew there was little chance of catching the miscreant at this point, if they had any sense they'd be back in their beds and relating their nights fun to their dorm mates. But then again I doubted that many of my students possessed even a modicum of common sense or logic so there was hope yet. Besides the longer I looked the longer I had something with which to occupy my mind. Christmas and Halloween were the worst night for me, Christmas reminded me of the happy times I'd once had, and which, due to my own foolishness, I would never have again. And Halloween was the day she died, I was so distraught this year that I was almost thankful to Quirrell for the troll, and fluffy!
As I was checking a classroom I knocked a box over** and shortly afterwards I fancied that I heard footsteps running down the corridor but a quick glance out of the door told me that I was hearing things. I walked down the hallway to the final disused classroom, its door was ajar and all that it contained was a large ornate mirror with the words "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on woshi" inscribed in its frame. It was odd, they weren't for any language I recognised, and I spoke quite a few, having little to fill my time, other than potions and learning, and contrary to popular opinion even I can not brew constantly.
I looked in the mirror, something I usually avoided doing but something drew me to it. What I saw in there made me gasp, for it was not my reflection but that of the woman I loved. She was as beautiful as ever and smiling at me with a face full of love and forgiveness. The feeling of longing that rose up within me was enough to make me sink to my knees. I reached a hand out to the mirror, wishing I could somehow slip through it into the world that it presented me with. As I stared at her the tears rolled down my face and for the first time in many years I allowed my self to cry and mourn my lost love.
After many hours of kneeling there I rose, knowing I had to leave. Though I wished to I could not sit in front of the mirror forever. As I turned away the pain that I always felt when thinking of Lily resurfaced, more powerful than it had been in a long time and I vowed not to return. The pain of seeing what I could not have was too much for me to bear. Over the years I had perfected the art of burying my emotions, both to preserve myself from Voldemort and to stop myself drowning in my sorrow. I couldn't afford to harrow up my feelings like this again.
*this is a direct quote from page 152
** on page 154 harry leaves the mirro room after hearing a "distant noise" which brings him back to his senses