Title: Feeling
Author: DhampyrX2
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG, just to be safe
Summary: Just some of Theodora's thoughts sometime after the end of the movie as everyone begins to settle into their places in the new Oz under the rule of the Wizard.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Don't sue me, I'm poor.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to still be able to feel. That was what Evanora had said wasn't it? That her heart was shriveling away? Then why did the space where her heart had been still hurt? Why did the Wiz- no, Oscar. He had told her his name was Oscar Diggs when she first found him. Why had his offer to return if she found the good inside of her hurt so much? Why did part of her want him to call out to her?
To embrace her again.
To dance one more time under the stars?
Not that it mattered. He would never embrace anyone again. He had said it himself. He had shed his mortal form. That was her fault. Her fireball aimed at his balloon to make him and Glinda BOTH pay for their betrayal of her fragile heart.
A heart she wasn't supposed to have any longer. So, why was part of her screaming inside to find a dark hole to hide in and weep over all that had happened?
She had learned long ago never to cry. That any water, even her own tears, would burn her horribly. It was the price she paid for the fiery affinity of her own magick. She had done everything she could to be good and ignore how she was treated by most of Oz for being a witch for just that reason. And yet, with a few careless actions from a man she hardly knew she had wept for the first time in years. And over what? A box that played music and a silly dream that was all in her own silly head.
She would never admit to Evanora that she had reclaimed it in the aftermath of their defeat in the Emerald City. It and its "mate" that her dear sister had shown her. Odd how Evanora's crumbled to red dust once her sister's magick had been broken by Glinda while her own still played its beautiful melody. It seemed that Oscar was not the only one to play with her emotions. She supposed she should hate her dear sister for that. For leading her down this path. For manipulating her. For giving her the apple to destroy her heart that had transformed her into this deformed green creature.
Not that Evanora fared any better being turned into the miserable old crone she had become. In the state she was in and without her magick the best her sister could ever hope to conquer were weaklings in the outer lands like the Munchkins. The Winkies would never follow her again. They were Theodora's own now.
In all honesty she should have known Glinda was the kind of Queen that Oscar wanted. Even when she had been "Theodora the Good" she had never been "that" girl. She was not pretty like Glinda. Nor was she respected like Evanora. She was just Theodora. Little sister to the King's adviser. Nothing special at all.
And now? Now she was a bit more special than she ever expected. Even when she had thought she would become Queen of Oz she had never dreamed of attracting this much attention. For the first time in her life people were talking about her and not her sister. But they weren't talking about Theodora. No, she had a new name now. She was the Wicked Witch of the West. In the minds of the people of Oz it was as if Theodora had never existed.
She supposed some things never changed. She was always in someone's shadow. Even her own.
And that didn't explain why it still hurt. Why part of her wanted to go home rather than skulk around Kiamo Ko with nothing but her Winkie guards and the new breed of flying monkeys she was conjuring based on her sister's flying baboons to keep her from going mad. Why she still longed for Oscar's embrace. Why she couldn't get his offer to come back out of her head.
As if that could happen. Even if there were any good in her, and she was certain there wasn't, she was a monster now. A hideous creature that made all of Oz tremble at the sight of her. There was no going back from that. She had proven that in Quadling Country when she had threatened Oscar to break the will of Glinda's followers. She had thrown him around like a rag doll while a voice screamed at her to go to him. To hold him. To beg him to make things right again.
But there was no going back. She understood that now. She would be at war with the Wizard for the rest of her life, since it was clear she would never be able to actually kill him herself. They would be at odds for all time. He, immortal without his body and her kept alive both by her power and the fact that all citizens of Oz were forbidden to kill anyone. The Witch and the Wizard, always at odds, and Theodora and Oscar left to be forgotten in the struggle.
It was better that way.
It was right that way.
And it still didn't explain why she could still feel.