Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own any of these characters or the television show. Well not anymore at least. The Cw stole them from me. Just kidding. Don't sue me, I can't afford a lawyer.
•The Manifesto•
Summary: Division wasn't always bad. It had integrity and once upon a time it stood for something. And then Percy came along and made it what it is today. But when Alex reads those words, she feels a small sense of pride, she sees an organization worth saving.
It hung over the main entrance of Division.
The stone tablet in which was carved an excerpt from the manifesto.
Alex remembers reading it, everyday after taking a few steps through the doorway of the underground bunker. It was larger and smooth, the dark gray stone glittering softly in the dim lighting. Each word was carved tall and narrow, the movements of the crafter's hand swift and precise.
Alex can tell this all from afar, seeing as the tablet is mounted about 23 feet off the ground. Everyday for a year she's walked through those massive doors and every day for a year she's read those words.
"We believe in courage, in bravery, in selflessness. We believe in protecting each citizen and standing up for this country."
In all the years she's know about Division, in the little time she's been formally associated with it, Alex has only know three people who have paid any attention to those words.
Nikita. Michael. And Sean.
A bit ironic, considering they're actually fighting against Division and not for or with them.
But regardless, Alex still liked it. Still believed in it.
This war with Division has been a long one-three years and counting. It's…daunting, to say the least. The five of them? They weren't just fighting Amanda or Percy or Roan. They were fighting against thousands of Division agents in countless countries. This battle challenges them in every aspect imaginable-mentally, physically, strategically and emotionally-and it's taking it toll on the team, each and every member.
Alex sees it, what her team thinks they're hiding from each other. The hesitance, the doubt.
Sometimes there are lapses of judgments during missions and blatant annoyance when views are opposed. The five people that make up this team-Nikita, Michael, Birkoff, Alex and Sean are all (well, with the exception of Birkoff) strong minded, opinionated and bold. Each of them is vocal about what they want and, well…controlling, when it came to the execution. It's very common for one person to completely ignore another's idea in favor of their own.
Like you'd expect, arguments happen fairly often. But Alex would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy making snarky comments to Michael about his and Nikita's sex life or stifling a laugh whenever Birkoff called her an "angry Russian whore."
They're not always fighting though, each other or Division. They have to lay low a lot, stay hidden in small corners of the city, play hide-and-seek in countries with unpronounceable names. And they get antsy, anxious. Nervous.
But the worst part isn't the dangerous missions or the vengeful confrontations. It's something she sees her teammates doing, each and every day. Looking over their shoulder. They're waiting for Division, or Oversight, or the CIA or the FBI. They're waiting for an innocent bystander to get killed or a loved one to go missing. For three years they've been waiting for the drop of the axe, for their little revenge fantasy to come unraveled.
That's something else she observes, late at night when guards are let down and minds are relaxed.
It's fear. It's always fear.
It creeps up on you and fills you with its poison: doubt. It's a disease of the mind and it's hard as hell to cure. Almost impossible.
But then there are the victories, the small ones here and there, or the really big ones, where afterwards they'll live like kings for a few days, drinking $600 champagne and eating $150 General Tso's Chicken.
Alex smiles.
She likes those nights. Actually, loves them. The bubbly laughter is infectious, and for once, for a few hours everything is…normal. Peaceful. Fun. They can afford to feel safe and comfortable and their failed sense of hope is revived. When she looks around, Alex sees a genuine smile on the faces of her teammates…her family.
Above all, those nights, those victories, cancel out everything else. She can't lie and say they don't exist. Those days when she feels like giving up, like this whole thing is a mistake.
Sometimes Alex wishes she could just quit. Abandon the team and forget about Division. Just wake up one morning and become someone else, someone…free.
But she can't do that, she owes it to Nikita. After all, she saved her; from the fire in Russia, from the traffickers in America, from her own drug addiction, and not to mention, Nikita saved her life countless times. Alex would never abandon her, or her family for that matter.
You see, they weren't just fighting for Nikita's sake. Division destroyed a part of all of them. Percy took from their lives what made them happy, worth living. What made them human.
And he turned them into murders. Killers. Assassins. No matter what label you put on it, you still have to do the exact same thing.
And that's what tears you apart, puts you on edge, makes you inconsolable late at night. You have to do whatever it takes to get you through it, and for Alex, that means reciting those 21 words from the manifesto. It was written decades ago, when Division was established.
"We believe in courage, in bravery, in selflessness. We believe in protecting each citizen and standing up for this country."
Alex likes that quote. She loves it. She knows how long ago it was written and when it was penned down by a former member of Oversight, she knows whoever wrote it believed it. They had created Division with good intentions and the safety of the country in mind.
Division wasn't always bad.
It had integrity and it stood for something. And then Percy came along and made it what it is today. But when Alex reads those words, she feels a small sense of pride. She sees an organization worth saving.
She's never uttered those words out loud, not to any one, not even Sean or Nikita. After all she is fighting against Division.
And this fight is so, so hard. They're fighting to take down the organization that spawned thousands of assassins in hundreds of countries. It created ruthless killers and harbors every nation's darkest secret. It stole the lives of the innocent and placed upon them a horrible, horrible guilt, one that could never be ignored or forgotten.
Some days it feels like a mistake, some days she's only a heartbeat away from giving up. It's taking its toll on her like everyone else fighting on their side and Alex guesses that when it's all over, when Division is no longer standing she, along with everyone else, will be bat shit crazy. Right now, only three years in-and who knows how long this could take-she's already bipolar. Or at least it feels that way. Half the time Alex is overcome with happiness, thrilled over a victory or feeling the release from pressure and stress. The other half of the time? She's worried, paralyzed with fear she might lose someone on her team, someone she loves.
But she's learned to push herself through those days, those feelings, those emotions. And each and every time she has to, she tells herself, "I believe in courage, in bravery and in selflessness. I believe in protecting each citizen and standing up for this country."
Those words are forever imprinted in her mind, and they serve as a reminder.
Sometimes her only reminder.
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