~~~Part 1~~~~ enjoy!~~~~~

My golden earring loops tingled, uh what now?

"Yeah, Hi." I said, stepping over a baby angel who was playing in the flowers.

"Hello, Claire, God speaking," Said the voice, "I have something planned for you."

I groaned. My orange hair glided across the clouds as I walked. Most angels prefer to fly, but I've done enough of that during my time here. "Is it a Miracle? Because-" I started. A Miracle is when an angel gets to go down from heaven to help people in need. I've never done a miracle, because I am extremely lazy and prefer to stay up here. God doesn't do the miracles, he watches the people, like Tv. He does a few errands here and there, but he's too busy to watching his "shows" to do the big work. We get sent down to help out so he can catch up on his stories.

"No, I want you to test something for me, and you need to agree before I tell you what it is," God said.

"Fine with me, its getting boring up here," I muttered. You can eat whatever you want and not get fat, so exercise was for fun. Cleaning was for fun too, and you can do whatever you want with your boyfriend because you can't have kids in heaven, either. You don't need a job, you can have anything you want without having to buy it. Most angels prefer to do Miracles in their free-time, but why bother.

"Meet me at the Golden Gates, alright?" God said, but didn't give me time to answer. He hung up.

I hope he lets me out, maybe on a trip to hell. Every once in a while we get to pull someone up from there. I was pulled up, because God needed more helpers. Maybe I can fly outside of heaven. You can't get hurt in heaven, and I love the adrenaline rush of death defying stunts. What's the fun if you know you won't get hurt? I flapped my enormous wings, (They are almost 2 times my size, I'm so proud) and whizzed off to the golden gates. I see Jesus, but no God.

"Hey man, what's crackin?" I asked Jesus. He grinned. I love to mess with this guy.

"Dad's watching his shows, and he sent me to meet you," He said.

"Must be pretty important, tell me J, why am I here?"

"God says you're lazy, and he wants to test something out for lazies like you. He says he might be able to let angels go fly around, but not to do Miracles. Just to go on vacation, or something," Jesus said. Then he opened the gate.

"Sweet baby Jesus, this is awesome!" I cried. "No offence."

"None taken. Have fun," Jesus said, and I was off.

I flew down, lower than heaven, just above the clouds. I peeked down on the world. I never explained why I went to hell, so here 'goes. I did lots of drugs, and drank, all that. I did stuff with strangers for money. When I accidentally got pregnant, I committed suicide. I had no money, I was broke, and I had no health insurance, so a baby was not what I needed. I spent some time in hell, not a lot, but it was okay. It was really hot, and we had a lot of parties. We drank, and ate, and did what we wanted. No rules. But we could get hurt, and fistfights happened often. I met Hitler, but I couldn't understand him. Oh well, a celebrity is a celebrity. I ate lots of Mexican food, but when I did something good, it all changed. I gave the Mexican food lady a tip, and I bought her a drink. She got punched in the face by a drunk, and I felt bad for her. Then an Angel came down, yadda yadda one small good deed, and I was in heaven. Heaven is better than Hell though, way better. You can drink and party, but when a drunk hits you it doesn't hurt. And no one gets hangovers! Well, back to the story.

I looked down on the earth from my spot for a while, the screeched with joy. Freedom! I flew in loops and corkscrews. I dove into the clouds, had some fun. Then I took a nap. While I was sleeping, though, I didn't hear a plane. I'm not immortal since I'm not in heaven anymore, but I didn't know that. The plane got closer. I opened an eye. A little old lady was staring at me through the window, and I waved. She looked like she was about to pass out, and I laughed. Then, a loud noise startled the shit out of me. It was too late, and before I could fly away, I was sucked into one of the engines. I felt one of my wings get smashed in the blades, then part of the other. I felt myself get cut open, and my hair sliced off. This was pain, and I haven't felt pain in a long time. My whole body hurt, but it wasn't over yet.

My long white dress fluttered around me as I fell. I couldn't move. My wings were busted, and my head sliced open. The dress billowed, and my wings flopped uselessly. I lost a lot of blood, and I passed out. I didn't know this, but I fell down, fast. I landed onto a red tent, that was in the back of someone's yard. The tent collapsed, and boxes smashed under me. Metal bullets scattered everywhere, ammo cartridges spread out on the ground, a couple guns flew a little ways away. A red creature, about 2 feet tall, was squished under me. He called for backup, in this deep voice, and I was carried down into the basement of the house by him and a green creature.

I woke up in pain, my whole body hurt. I was trapped in a cage. A grey room, filled with pipes and buttons, and a swivel chair was what I saw. I screen was dark, but it was huge. The chair was tiny, too small for any human. Through a door I saw a bathtub, normal sized, filled with... rice? My head spun, and when I saw my crushed wings, I fainted.

The next time I woke up, I had moved. The cage was in a large room with a lot of multi-colored lights. A screen was there too, but it wasn't as big. Small chairs were stationed around metal tables that connected together. Two orange half-spheres sat next to each other, glowing faintly. I saw a metal door open slightly, and I turned my head. A dark blue and white creature with big eyes and a round head was looking at me. I couldn't move my body, just my eyes, mouth, and neck. The thing was wearing a yellow hat, and had a symbol on its chest. I passed out again from fright. That isn't an earth animal! What was it? I have never even seen one in heaven, and I've seen all sorts of things in heaven.

I woke up face down on a steel table. My hands and feet were held down by something. I could move my neck more, and I shrieked at what I saw.

Another creature, but yellow. It had huge swirly glasses and headphones on his hat. He laughed when he heard me scream, and it sounded weird. "Kikikikiki~ ku ku ku," It went. It held a scalpel and it was.. cutting me! It was apparently operating on me, it seemed. This frightened me and confused me so much, I'm afraid to say, but I passed out again.

~~~~~~~Part 2~~~~~ enjoy!~~~~~

I opened an eye, hoping this was a scary dream or something. But no, I was face down on the steel table again. I was aching, but I knew I had no more broken bones. I wiggled my toes, and my fingers. My wrists were held down, and my ankles, like before. I flapped my wings, and the creature, (which I hadn't seen) startled and fell off of my back onto the table. He had been cutting into my wings, and dark red blood was on his scalpel. His glasses cracked. I guess he fell onto a button or something, and the wrist and ankle cuffs opened. "Ku ku ku, this isn't going to end well!" He said. I was furious.

I was piping mad. Operating on me, the nerve! Keeping me in a cage like an animal! I shakily stood up, my (now short) white dress, with the bloodstains on it, came to my knees. My hair was short and ragged. I Flapped my wings and the wind pushed the creature's tools onto the floor. Dust kicked up and flew around. I flew up, in front of the giant light fixture he had above the table. I glared down. Flapping angrily, I stared down at the thing. A metal door opened, and I whipped around. A red creature with a belt and a gun barreled in, followed by a green one with a star and a dark blue one wearing a yellow hat. Last but not least, A blue one with a mask and sword. I glared down, and turned back to the yellow thing.

Suddenly I felt my chin hit the floor, hard. The red thing had roped me down with an eel-looking thing. He was surprisingly strong for his size, but not as strong as me. I am 10x stronger than any human, let alone 2 foot tall creature. I flapped up, and he dangled from the eel-thing around my neck. I growled, a sound like a tiger would make, and flew higher, trying to kick it off. A gun materialized in the red thing's hands and he shot a wing. I was down. I hit my head on the concrete floor and was out.

I opened my eyes a couple minutes later, buckled down on the table again. The yellow thing cut along the top of my shot wing. I screamed in pain, sounding like a tree falling down. then whimpered weakly, like a puppy, when he ripped bone after bone out of the top of my wing. The blue one with the mask stepped over, but the green one insulted him, and he went into the corner. The red one was scowling at me, and the dark blue one, whose eyes looked so big before, were narrowed and he looked pissed. The green one smirked at me, and stepped over until he was in front of my face. I spit a stream of sugary soda at him, but he laughed.

"Gero gero gero! Gero gero gero!" The yellow thing replaced my wing bones with a light, hollow pipe. Then, since the feathery skin was gone, he hammered on a thin piece of steel. I cried out again, and the green thing laughed.

"I am Sergeant Keroro, ARMPIT Platoon leader. Our mission is to conquer the world, and we will harness your power to do so!" It said. I glared.

"Tch," the yellow one smirked.

"The one modifying you is Sergeant Major Kururu, and that's Private Second Class Tamama," It pointed at the dark blue thing.

"The one in the corner is, uh, Dororo, and that red guy is Corporal Giroro," It cried in an extremely annoying high pitched voice. The Corporal scowled, and I scowled back.

"We are Keronians from planet Keron, and what are you?" Tamama asked, in this little kid voice. I shrieked again as Kururu cut me again, and then he hammered something down. The cuffs flew open , and I struggled to my feet. I dog collar was around my neck, and a chain hung from it. The Corporal had the other end. I spread out my wings, and stared at the platoon coldly.

" I am Claire, former angel of the Lord," I answered icily.