Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
To say that Ben Solo was depressive these days was a misunderstanding. In fact, if someone were to listen to his thoughts, the person would think that he was about to kill himself.
Well he's not. His mother taught him to think differently and that one should always carry on through the night, so you can live to see the sunshine. That's what she would always said to him.
Boy, did he miss her.
First he lost his father when he was twelve, they were getting back from a terrible movie they just saw and they had a car crash. Ben didn't saw the deer approaching them. He woke up in the hospital room, his mother by his side, not crying despite losing her husband and almost her son.
For seven years they were on their own. Leia did the best she could raising him, surviving his teenage moodiness, his antics, and never did she complain about her hard life. With manners of a royal, Leia always tried to be one step ahead of every possible trouble that threatened them.
And then he lost her. She had a heart stroke in her sleep. She didn't suffer, at least at death she had some peace.
Since that, only thing keeping him sane were his job and his girlfriend.
And he lost both in one miserable day.
Ben woke up form his usual nightmare because he hit his head against the wall. So his head was still throbbing while he found out his coffee maker broke, he ran out of shampoo and he discovered a nice big hole in his pants, on a very unusual place. Oh, and he was late for work.
To a lot of people this only, would be enough to destroy their day, or at least a good part of it.
But Ben's misery only got a lot worse.
He magically appeared on his job only a minute late, and since he had an appointment with his boss he entered his office, apology already halfway on his lips. And what a sight did he behold by entrance.
His girlfriend, Phasma, making out heavily with his boss Mr. Snoke. His sixty-one year old, hairless boss.
Sometimes your luck just can't be bad enough.
Phasma didn't even bothered to look ashamed or something. More angry at Ben for ruining her face sucking session. Since his partner stopped responding Snoke turned around and simply screamed at poor Ben: -You're fired!-
- But, sir...- Ben didn't know what to say.
- Get out!- Snoke was basically screaming now.
- But... Phasma... Him?- His mind was still stuck on processing everything. He's older than her dad. Just how? Why? Anger was slowly starting to build inside him, gushing his other senses.
Just as Snoke took breath for another scream Ben stormed to him and punched him hard in the jaw. Phasma screamed and flew to Snoke who sprawled out on the floor. She started cooing him, calling him 'Erik' and 'darling'.
Adrenaline still in his veins Ben looked at the two of them. Pathetic, he thought, that's how they look.
He just couldn't take it anymore, so he ran out of the building. He had to get it out of his system and if he's around people, it could end badly. So he ran. As fast as he could. Long enough to remove his mind from the shity life of his, well almost. He ran without and sense of direction, just letting his legs lead him as far as they could.
After some time he realized his legs were burning from running so fast for so long.
And so Ben found himself miserably sitting on a park bench, on a beautiful day, birds chirping and everything, living one of the top five most awful days of his life. Since it wasn't even lunchtime yet the small park was mostly empty. Just a couple of tourists and mom's with their children. They were all seemingly happy, not a care in the world.
He despised it. How could everyone be so happy? His life was now even more shitty, and the rest of the world was just having a nice day. Ben was now unemployed, single, parent-less, friend-less and utterly miserable. And of course all hell broke loose the day before the anniversary of his mother's death. Maybe he would have handled all this better if it was any other time of the year.
He was always a bit depressive in the time around the date.
Having spent all aggression on running, with now only misery left, the man left for his apartment.
He wandered around his apartment like a ghost, barely eating, not showering at all.
Then around three weeks later, he accidentally stumbled across a picture of his mom and him. The picture was taken at his father's funeral, and it he was hugging his mother on it. Leia was so strong that day, she didn't cry, she went through everything with her head held high. He was suddenly engrossed with himself, and was sure his mother would also be.
Why is he acting like this? Didn't she thought him better? It's not like his world ended, maybe it did felt like it, but he's still alive and he's wasting his time on sulking.
Waking up from his winter-slumber, Ben showered, shaved and went outside for the first time since that awful day.
It wasn't a nice day, to be honest, it looked like it will rain in a matter of minutes, with dark sky and cold wind that was blowing.
But to Ben, it was like a first day of spring.
He went back to that same park, sat on that same bench. This time the park was almost completely empty, people were afraid of the rain, probably.
It was then, that he met his sunshine. Or, it sat next to him on the bench.
He couldn't believe a such a beautiful creature ever existed. She was...perfect.
And the sunshine said.- Hello. Are you okay? You look a little pale.- And she smiled.
Ben felt his whole space, universe really, sudenlly shifting and making the girl beside him the center of everything.
„I'm much better." he said.