Anything Goes…
By: Ranma-Trekkie
Introduction
"Listen, Buddy. I dunno who the heck ya are, W... P..."
"My name is Q, Ronny. You'd know that if you'd paid any attention when I introduced myself..."
"Hey! Waddaya mean in'erduced? You attacked me, ya jerk!"
A red headed Japanese girl with a pigtail, about 18 standard years old, balled her fists. She was shaking in anger and dripping wet. In contrast, the European man with the prominent cheekbones was not only dry, but appeared to be rather amused at the girl's outright rage. He was perched on a balcony above the street, swinging his leg off the side and leaning his back against the railing with an empty bucket in his hands.
"Please, I'd hardly call that refreshing little shower an attack."
Q rolled his eyes as he spoke. The red head clenched her teeth.
"Ya gonna come down here, or do I gotta knock ya down?" She shouted up at him.
"Ooh, how portentous! Tell me, are you going to beat me up, boy?" Q remarked with an arrogant smirk as he leaned forward slightly.
"That's it!" The red head retorted as she reached back behind her.
There was a second Japanese girl behind the first, with short black hair, holding a bag of groceries. She had been silent, simply sighing and glancing away disinterestedly from the altercation. The red head plucked a tomato from the top of the bag and pitched it at the man named Q. The second girl's head whipped around and she furrowed her brow in annoyance.
"Hey! What do you think you're-"
"Eat this!" The redhead called as she pitched the ripe vegetable.
In his typical annoying fashion, Q stopped the tomato with his hand, catching it as easily as if it had been a lightly tossed baseball.
"Careful..." He commented as he snapped his fingers. With a bright flash he disappeared from the balcony, and with a second flash he appeared standing in front of the two girls with an even more amused smirk on his face. "You almost bruised it."
"Ahhh YAH!" The red head called, launching a brutal punch at Q, aimed to wipe the smirk off his face. There was another pair of flashes in quick succession, and he reappeared behind the girls this time.
"Ah, ah, ah!" He said smugly, waggling a finger to chastise the enraged teen. "Queen's rules, you didn't wait for the bell!" Another flash, and suddenly the three were in a boxing ring at the center of an arena. Q was now wearing boxing gloves and shorts emblazoned with a large letter Q in gold on a black background, hopping around on his toes and making jabs at the girl as a bell dinged several times. He caught her in the face twice before she ducked his punch and sent a kick at him. Of course, Q simply flashed out of the way, reappearing after the kick was past. "Oh, come on, Kid. Surely you can do better than that..." He taunted, looking her in the eye in mock seriousness.
From ringside, the second girl poked her head between the ropes, looking mad as a wet hen and still holding her groceries in one arm while waving in fury with the other. "Raaaaanmaaa! You idiot! Stop fighting! We have to get these groceries home in time for dinner or-"
Ignoring her companion, Ranma (as the red head was more commonly known) creased her brow in further anger. "Ah, you asked fer it, Jerk! KATCHU-TENCHIN AMAGURIKEN!" She launched a flurry of punches at the offending Q, moving so fast her arms were only a blur to the human eye. With a flash, Q's body disappeared and Ranma's punches met only air beneath his floating head. When Ranma finally stopped her attack, there was another flash and the three were back standing on the street corner where they started. Ranma's face was a mix of rage and bewilderment.
"How'd ya do that? Never mind, I'll still beat ya!"
"Ranma, you idiot! We don't have time for any of this!" Her companion protested. "Quit your stupid fight so we can get out of here!" The sun was already starting to set, and their fathers would be crying about it all night if they didn't get their dinner on time. Ranma didn't heed the warning and got ready to launch another attack, while Q just rolled his eyes.
"Oh, very well if you insist..." he flashed out of the way of Ranma's attack again, reappearing in an Umpire's uniform as if he were calling a Major League Baseball game somewhere in America, or whatever these obsequious humans called it. "Yooooou're ouuutta here!" He made the call motion with one hand, jerking his thumb back over his shoulder with a smile while snapping his fingers with his other hand.
There was a familiar bright silvery flash and the three appeared in a strange setting, totally unfamiliar to the two girls, though Q knew it all too well. It was one of his favorite little playgrounds in the universe. "Wah-lah!" He shouted, waving his hand in a sweep around the room. "I told you this would only take a minute, didn't I? And now your lives will be infinitely more spectacular than your tiny little pea brains can comprehend!" he glanced back at the girls, still smiling. Ranma looked decidedly unhappy, and her companion was downright seething. Too angry for words, the short haired girl practically glowed red. "Isn't that wonderful? Mmm?"
At precisely this moment, the bald Frenchman occupying the chair at the center of the room stood up. From the looks of it, he was every bit as angry as the two young Japanese girls. "Q! What the HELL is going on here! Who the Devil are these people, and why have you brought them here?" He demanded in a vehement outburst.
Author's Notes: Okay, I hope you all liked this. If there is a formatting issue, I apologize. I'm new at this, and used to writing RP, not Fan Fiction. lol Anyways, I had thought about this several times before, but randomly got inspired to start writing it one night earlier this week. I believe I kept everyone in character, but I'm open to tips and reviews on that, as well as ideas for future chapters! Also, I don't have a real set stardate for when Q dumps Ranma and Akane on Picard and Crew, but I will say that I'm leaning towards sometime after Tasha Yar's death and still within the earlier half of the show. I won't give away how long the two teens will be aboard the Enterprise for, though I will say with Q and Ranma aboard the Enterprise D… it can only get more interesting from here. =/\=RT