Title: Inconsequential

Author: NotebookPaper

Rating: M

Pairing: DemyxxXigbar

Notes: My first yaoi. It turned out a little different than I had first planned, but inspiration struck me. I like it, even though it makes me a little sad. Would you guys mind telling me what you think? I may revisit this, make it longer, or I dunno. I just really, really want to know how I did.

Disclaimer: I do not own Xigbar, Demyx, Saix or Kingdom Hearts in general. If I did… well, gee. Can you guess?

"I think I've only got one more chance this time."

Xigbar hated how mature he sounded.

"Death or Dusk, I think."

Demyx sounded strange like that.

The boy must have figured that out because he perked immediately.

"But that's how it is. I always get the jobs I'm no good for!" The whine was forced, and the choking cat noise that came from his strangled throat was far overdone. Xigbar almost felt himself scowl.

Almost.

"Are you even gonna try, kiddo?"

"Of course!" He sounded insulted. "I mean, c'mon, Xiggy."

C'mon, Xiggy. Roxas is still there. He can still be pulled back to us. Axel will come back too. We'll all be great and we'll get hearts and we'll show Xemnas and maybe he won't be so scary anymore.

Xigbar could almost hear it, but it fluttered like a dream, replaced by a wavering attempt at a smirk in the Melodious Nocturne's lips. The Freeshooter knew how encouraging Demyx had always been, even if the kid was rather lackadaisical. Somehow he had always been sure Roxas was no traitor, and that Axel still worked for the Organization despite his empty meeting seat. Xigbar knew that even though the kid was lazy –lazy even though he teased him about it so that maybe he'd shape up and Xemnas wouldn't find early reason to turn him into a Dusk – he somehow managed to make him believe there was a chance they'd all make it through this. How silly it was that he just never realized how much he'd actually miss it.

"'C'mon, Xiggy' my ass, little dude." He ruffled his hair and left his arm around his shoulders. "You're going to try, right?"

"Heh. Yeah, Xiggy." He leaned into him, about to snuggle his neck to the older man's shoulder, but Xigbar was not satisfied.

They were in the young man's room, sitting on the edge of the luxurious white bed, the dark light from outside the window letting gloom permeate the atmosphere. Usually, Demyx kept him from feeling it – 'Heh. Feeling.' –, but the boy's demeanor was different. He'd always been a bit subservient, but never dominated. Demyx didn't lay down easily, even for him, unless he wanted to. It was strange that not doing missions meant making an effort. Demyx was a walking conundrum. They had all expected this, though, the boy being the youngest of the remaining Numbers. They had all expected him to succumb to the facts at some point. He may have lasted longer than Saix believed possible, but here it was. He realized he was a shell, less than an Other. Less than a Somebody. Xigbar hated it.

So he twisted at the torso and pushed Demyx back into the plush comforter hard enough to make the air leave his lungs. As per habit, the boy made an oddly strangled noise and looked up at him accusingly. Before he could speak, though, Xigbar took the air from his lungs once more with his mouth crushed over his. It wasn't a kiss; it was a silencer.

"You are going to try, right?" 'Encourage me again. Make me believe we have hearts… you and me because those other guys are totally lost.'

"Oh geez, yes, I am! I will! Can't…breathe, Xig-gy!"

It wasn't the same as drowning, but Xigbar didn't let up for a few more moments because he knew on some level that Demyx liked being strangled. He probably imagined his heart rushing, and Xigbar wanted to see his eyes roll to know that it was still him and not some shell. Because he sometimes believed Demyx.

His eyes did roll and the lids closed and he removed some of the weight from the smaller man's chest.

"GaaAhhH! Oh geez. Don't DO that!"

Xigbar smirked, nose to nose with the boy, his golden eye challenging and so oppressive Demyx forgot his burning chest and blinked his blue-green eyes.

"Wha-At?" Exasperation for an answer.

He never got one because Xigbar kissed him for real this time and they were both lost from their black cloaks to his white sheets. They were all reaching limbs, tussled hair, tongue over scars, calloused fingers over smooth hipbones, muscle against muscle and suddenly desperation for freedom. Chest to chest and pointed teeth to soft neck, Demyx reached behind Xigbar and tore his hair tie. Ungloved fingers moved into the boy's blond-brown hair while grey-purple locks meshed with their skin down past their waists. Xigbar's hair could trip somebody, but having it down sent Demyx on a trip wholly different.

The hair tie had always been unreachable. Xigbar might have let him get close – In fact, Demyx knew he was only ever allowed to get close, never making it within reach by his own prowess – but it was only to toy with him. Xigbar liked games. Xigbar loved to play. Xigbar loved to win. Demyx liked easy games. Demyx didn't like a challenge. Demyx didn't care to win. But Xigbar let him get so close, tantalizing him and somehow taking the work out of the play. Sometimes it was easy to get close to Xigbar's illustrious pony-tail, easy as playing Arpeggio. But like striking a discordant note half-way through a melodious tune, Xigbar would pull away and noogie his head until his scalp burned, like saying "Hey, Kiddo! Look at that! I can touch your head."

Now Demyx had reached it. Demyx had won. Xigbar had lost. Xigbar was submitting to him.

Even as Xigbar hovered over Demyx, something inside the older Nobody had submitted to him. Something needed him. For once, it was just too easy.

When Demyx's insides exploded outward he forced himself to keep from settling, purring, or lazing to any extent. He watched as Xigbar's visage contorted deliciously, keeping himself taut to the point of shaking violently so Xigbar's completion was nothing less than he deserved. He made himself work against the debilitating warmth because he needed Xigbar too. He realized his eyes were leaking his element, and forced himself to appear tough, maybe even angry. He was still shaking.

Until Xigbar's hard body eased.

With one lazy, golden eye, Demyx was appraised. The older man's strong arms weren't going to give, but he settled himself on his younger lover anyway. He stroked a rough thumb over the tears on his cheek and immediately the boy's frame relaxed. Tired. Spent beyond debt. He was adorable when he was tired beyond complaining.

"Kiddo?" Demyx, who had shut his eyes, opened them again for Xigbar. "You don't have to."

In his tiredness, the blue-green eyes slipped closed again, before flying open. He thought he could see it. He could see Xigbar would do it like Xion and Roxas and Axel. Something in him bloomed.

"Would you –"

And then it died.

The door to their right, or the right of the bed, opened. It didn't slam, it wasn't rushed, and it was almost inconsequential to the scene on the disheveled bed.

But Demyx had looked over in shock, and Xigbar's eyes, which closed and mourned, could only open and follow.

Saix showed no emotion for the scene before him. The spent, sweaty, interlocked bodies meant nothing. There was no triumph in his eyes when they were on Xigbar. There was no chastisement leveled to Demyx when his gaze lowered. Why, then, did the intertwined Nobodies see it?

"IX, I believe you have a mission."

'He won't even use his name.' Xigbar was near ready to take the man down, when Demyx slipped from under him. Xigbar didn't watch or listen as Demyx "grudgingly" went to do his job. He already knew Demyx was doing it for him. Xigbar instead pondered what could have been if they had left, whatever that was.

When Demyx left, purple-grey hair spilling over his shoulder to dangle over the side of the bed to the floor behind him as he walked away, Xigbar stood and stretched, unabashed at his nudity. Saix wouldn't care anyway.

"Hey, about that…" 'What? Fucking a kid with an assignment?'

Saix appraised him briefly. A strange, emotionless smile took his lips. "It was inconsequential." Fate was already sealed.

As Saix walked out, Xigbar wished he had been wearing clothes, or had his hair up, or both. Then he realized it wouldn't have mattered.

Please review if you have any comments, good or bad or inbetween. I'll say again that I really, really want to know how I did on this.