A/N: I'm not sure yet if this will be an angsty one-shot or if I'll continue it. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Regina could see the Now Leaving Storybrooke sign coming up ahead. Truthfully, she had no idea if she could cross the barrier and still keep her memories. There was at least a chance that she would, though. After all, she was the one who cast the curse.
What if her memories disappeared? Well, she wouldn't mind losing most of them. Not remembering all the tragedy and betrayal in her life might be a blessing. The only real problem was that she would forget Henry. Did Henry even really want her in his life, though? If he didn't, maybe it was best to forget him, too.
That painful thought was going through her mind as she passed the Now Leaving Storybrooke sign. A few minutes later, she still had her memories, painful as so many of them were. She couldn't decide if she was disappointed or relieved.
As she continued to drive, she thought about the note she left Henry.
Dear Henry,
By the time you receive this letter, I will have left Storybrooke. I have decided that it would be best if I left this place behind. I hope that if you are upset, you can forgive me.
There is a chance that I will lose all my memories when I leave town. If so, know that I have always loved you and that I truly hope you have all the happiness in your life that I have never had in mine.
If I do remember, I will contact you soon.
Love, Mom
Regina found herself thinking that maybe she should turn back. Another part of her thought that it had been a mistake to tell Henry that she would contact him. How was she supposed to have a fresh start when she still had ties to her past? She couldn't keep herself from putting it in the letter, though. She had no idea if Henry would miss her or not, but if he did, she needed to talk to him.
Memories started coming to the front of Regina's mind. They were still there, and she couldn't keep herself from thinking about them.
She could still see baby Henry in his crib, reaching up for her. She could picture him smiling at her. She remembered one time when he had badly skinned his knees playing outside. He had kept trying not to cry. When she had bandaged him up, he gave her a hug.
"I love you, Mommy," he had said.
He had said that so many times, when he was little. He had once loved her so much. And now, he was with the birth mother that he had run away from home to get. He was with Snow and Charming, part of their happy ending.
Regina had raised Henry for ten years. Didn't that count for anything? No, not for them. All of the time she had spent hugging him, reading to him, even singing to him…none of that mattered. She was the Evil Queen, and she didn't belong in their world of "good always wins" and happy endings. She used to be good, didn't she? Why didn't she deserve a happy ending?
All she wanted was to be able to raise her son, but that wasn't allowed anymore. To them, she would always be the Evil Queen, no matter what she did. Anything she did to try to redeem herself was never enough. Everything bad that happened would always be her fault. Her only chance at any sort of happiness was to leave.
With that in mind, Regina kept driving, still not sure where the road would take her. Surely wherever she went, it would be better than the cruel world she left behind.