From Another Point of View
I killed my baby. I killed my son to save a bus load of people I don't even know. What choice did I have? I mean, a man with bright blue eyes was screaming at me to "shut the baby up!" And I did. If he was to keep crying, the North Korean troops would of found and killed us and when I get to them pearly gates, the good Lord will look down on my with shame and send me to the fires of Hell.
But either way, each decision ended in death. Mine was probably the worst. I killed a baby, a human being just like us. An infant, God's creation and blessing to me and my husband. The worst part of it all, my husband never even met his son. My husband was kidnapped by the North and forced into a prison. I don't even know if he's alive. If he is we will unite and I will have to tell him about my crime. I wonder what he would do to me. Will he still love me the same, or will he leave me?
I have done damage I cannot fix. "Bright Blue Eyes" as I call him went crazy over the whole thing and, so I heard went to what Americans call a "psycho ward". His life will never be the same. Because of me.
A question comes to my mind now. Is it a sin to kill one life to save many? Will the Lord punish me for the rest of my days. Does anyone out there know? I don't want to find out and is to scared of the future.
What I do know is that I cannot turn back time to fix mistakes or wrongdoings, I cannot bring my son back to life and I cannot face my husband. I sometimes think to myself: this is a dream, and when I wake up, everything will be back to normal. My son will still be alive, the war will end peacefully. I will be fine. In reality, it is not, for reality is a nightmare and I am living in it wishing for it to end. I hold back tears. I put my hands in a position I would hold a baby, wanting to see him one more time. To see him smile, to hear him giggle, to hold and hug and never let go. I love this memory and want to keep it always. But, I remembered something. I killed my baby boy, I killed my son. And this is nothing but a memory. I cry now not holding anything back and let tears form a river of sorrow.
Author's Note: this is my first fan fiction. I hoped you enjoyed it. I don't own MASH or characters. This is just for fun, no profit is being made.