"Fighting stances!" says the squad leader of the hand to hand sessions. I feel the wood of the knife pinch my skin as I tighten my grip on the handle. His eyes burn into mine. Green eyes that have intrigued me for so long.
"Now get the knife." He steps forward, his hand swings round in an arching punch. Bad move. I duck and weave closer to him, striking my palm into his chest and forcing him to stumble back. He lets out a grunt as he is winded.
"For a girl, you have a hard hit." I smirk. You haven't seen nothing yet. He comes at me again and I see something light in those eyes- a spark of a memory which contorts his features until he looks almost terrifying. Then my wrist is twisted backwards, the knife is not in my hand anymore and I'm on the floor. He flings me away and I land hard on my back. My lungs burn and my back aches as I struggle to get oxygen in.
"Sorry, guess I have to learn to hold back." Just one step closer… my leg swings under, sweeping his legs from under him and giving me enough momentum to stand. His arms flail, letting go of the knife which I catch again, crouching over him and pressing the blunt blade to his throat.
"No, what you need to do is be less reckless. Strength only works if you have the brain to work with it." eyes wide in shock, he stares up at me. We stay like that for at least thirty seconds but it feels like an eternity.
"Eren will you stop pissing about and get up? And while you're at it, get a room." We both turn and say in unison
"Shut up, Jean." Which of course only makes him laugh. A grimace tightens my features and I throw the knife to the floor and stalk off, tossing over my shoulder a hasty
"You should go work with reina, he is more of a challenge for you." Before I run to join someone else, cheeks burning.
~O~
"Mind if I join you?" I hear hesitantly from behind me. I shrug, but duck my head until my hair covers my face.
"Shouldn't you be sitting with Armin and Mikasa?" I ask, unable to hide the slight tremble in my voice. I clear my throat and straighten my spine. No way is this suicidal maniac gonna get one over on me. No. way. I turn to face him and he smiles.
"They can wait a second or two more. I just wanted to say sorry if I embarrassed you earlier. Or if I hurt you or anything like that. I didn't mean to." I nod, stuffing a piece of bread in my mouth so I don't have to answer.
"We are going to go to the rec room in a bit, wanna join us?" I shrug and nod again, mouth still full.
"Great, see you in about half an hour." I swallow and sigh. Crap. Eren Jaeger. Why are you doing this to me?
~O~
The rec room is hardly lit and completely empty. There is no one sitting on the worn out chairs and reading the tatty books. No one chatting sessions or workout routines. No one talking about what they don't want to do tomorrow. No one at all. I breathe a sigh of relief and drift over to the darkest corner of the room. The one hiding the black piano. Though a few of the ivories are missing and it is a bit dinged up from fights that must have broken out over the years, it was in tune and still worked fine. My fingers brushed the keys, sending twinkling vibrations echoing about the room. And I played. I couldn't even remember the name of the song, I just remembered the order of the notes and how it felt- the crescendo making my heart pound and tears well in my eyes. As soon as my fingers left the keys to hide my face, I heard a clap from behind me. I knew it would be him- as there was only one.
"I didn't know you could play like that. That was beautiful." I felt him move to my right and a warm hand on my shoulder.
"My mum taught me. I- I think she would probably have told me I did it wrong somehow."
"Sounded just fine to me. Hey… don't cry. Come here." He pulled me to my feet and into a hard and warm embrace. I buried my head into his shoulder and let my shoulder shake as I cried. Because you see, it was four years ago today that the titans broke through Wall Maria. Four years ago today my entire family was wiped out by those monsters. Four years ago today that I lost everything. Eren knew what it was like. He was there too, in shiganshina. He saw pretty much the same thing I did. He saw the people he loved being devoured. That was one of the reasons we were such good friends. We just… understood. My shoulders stopped heaving and he lifted his cheek from my head.
"You ok now?" his voice reverberated through my face as I nodded. Stepping out of his arms, I wiped my eyes again.
"Sorry, I kinda snotted on your shoulder." My sleeve automatically reached out to wipe away the mess and he smiled at me. When I was done, he caught my hand and pulled me outside to his group of friends, who immediately lightened my mood with jokes and games and friendly banter. I caught his eyes and he smiled again, his eyes softening in understanding.
"Thank you." I mouthed. He nodded and we joined in with the flurry of conversations meant to cheer us up. For the first time in weeks I felt accepted. Lighter. Like I belonged. Like I hadn't lost everything. Because, really, I hadn't.