Chapter One

Divulge

I stared into her deep brown eyes, shivering as I saw the pain they held. She wanted more than anything to become a monster, and it sickened me. "Will this argument ever end?" I asked not really wanting to know what would come from her perfect lips.

"It will end…someday…" she trailed off looking away; I knew what she was implying. Fury coursed through my veins as I eyed her up and down, as much as I wanted to spend eternity with this angel that stood before me, brown hair blowing in the wind, biting her lip from saying anything more that might upset me, I didn't want to see her loose everything because of me.

Everyone was pretty keen on allowing Bella what she wanted, there was only one protestor amongst my family, Rosalie, and I was grateful for an instant that she actually took my side. She would give anything to be human again, and I was sure she thought that Bella would regret the decision later, even if I couldn't read it in her thoughts.

"Can't we just spend time together, just once, without plotting out the end of your life?" I tried to smile, even though I knew she could tell I was still smoldering inside with the fight between wanting to be with Bella forever and the other that just wanted her to live a normal life, soul intact.

She nodded knowing that it was a lost cause, at least for today. "Where are we going anyway?" She asked spying the woods for clues of a familiar location. We had stopped at a large rock in the middle of the forest to have the little dispute about her existence, and now we continued at a slow human snail like pace up the trails leading us to somewhere she had never been before.

"Somewhere…special" yeah that's the right word I thought to myself. Confusion spread on her face as she smiled up at me. It still shocked me that she could walk alone in the dark woods, with a vampire, where no one would be able to hear a thing if I lost the control, I so desperately needed when I was with her. She was so trusting, and was not frightened by the things that she should've been afraid of.

"Special?" She questioned me with more curiosity in her voice, stumbling over a rock. I caught her arm in and instant and stood her back up on her own two clumsy feet.

The conversation continued like nothing out of the ordinary happened, but it wasn't out of the ordinary for Bella to fall and hurt herself somehow.

"Yes, I wanted you to see a place I come fairly often, I think you will like it" I looked down to see her smile once more, and it appeared bigger after I flashed her my teeth. She had a way of making me smile without even knowing I was performing the action.

"You see," I tried to explain, "When I want to be alone with my thoughts, only my thoughts I come here. Usually I can tune out the voices that intrude from every direction, but sometimes it's not easily done."

"So," I continued. "I come here to think about what I want without any interruptions."

"What do you think about?" She asked curiosity blazed on her face. It was hard for me still to not be able to read her mind, and in an instant I could tell it bothered her that she couldn't read my thoughts as well.

"It's complicated" I simply stated. Not wanting to admit that I came here frequently to think about what a mess I've made of her life. How I had complicated it so much, I was looking for an easy solution to fix everything, but had come up with nothing.

She looked up at me with frustration waiting for me to say more, but I'm not sure if I could without spilling every worry that lingered in my mind, and starting the argument again that we had moments ago. "Us" I simply stated.

This had made her smile, and it pained me that we had grown so close over such a small amount of time. But she needed me, almost as much as I needed her. I needed to make sure she was safe, and that was my deluded reason to stay very close to her, just in case.

Bella was very drawn to mishaps and I wasn't about to stand by and let her get hurt, even though I was hurting her even more by staying close, and she didn't even realize it.

"I think about us too" She seemed to be talking to herself instead of me when she said it.

I gulped. Yes, we were much too deep now.

"Close your eyes"

I glanced at her, "I'm going to fall if I don't keep my eyes open" she said sheepishly. "I won't let that happen." And she knew that by now I'm sure.

She closed her eyes now and it bothered me that I wouldn't get to see them, even if it was for a short about of time. I gently pulled by hands towards her waist and guided her a few feet to the perfect spot. She still kept her eyes closed, her cheeks flushed.

"You can open them now"

As she did her face grew from one shade of pink to another faster than I thought possible. She gazed the surroundings and than spoke so enthusiastically. "It's so beautiful" she took another step forward.

Before us was a large waterfall, that not too many humans in the area knew about, and I was grateful for that. The water was crushing down on the tiny rocks bellow and I was sure she should've had some clue from the noise that it made gushing over us both.

I just watched her as she expanded her eyes to everything insight. I was enjoying the expression that played on her face, of sheer astonishment that there was something beautiful in Forks.

"You like it than?" I asked smugly.

"Yes!" She breathed and came rushing over to me.

"So this is where you come when you aren't with me" She said sort of complacently.

There was a moment of silence, aside from the crashing noise the water made. My eyes were only on her despite the beauty that surrounded us. She was the most beautiful thing in site, I couldn't deny that.

"What do you think about here, I know you said us…?" She trailed off trying to find the right words to say. "But I was just wondering, what about us? You said it was complicated." I was hoping I would have more time to prepare myself for what I was about to do, but I had thought about it long and hard and I knew I couldn't stand staying away from Isabella Swan.

"It is, you see I don't want you to miss out on anything" She looked like she was about to blurt something out, but I raised my hand, "allow me to finish."

"You shouldn't have to miss out on being normal because of me, I wasn't expecting to feel this way about you Bella, and I wasn't expecting to have to feel so protective of you." My eyes trailed off in the distance, maybe if I didn't look at her, it would make this easier somehow. I paused, not sure how I would say it. But there was only one way I could say it and it was simple, "You see Bella, I have fallen in love with you".

She looked at me in disbelief, which puzzled me. I was sure that it was obvious and I was just stating the facts to her.

She looked at me than to the ground, mossy and wet, than back to my face. Her cheeks flushed again crimson. "I love you too" she whispered.

Just what I didn't want and wanted at the same time. I wanted her to be scared off from the beginning; I wanted her to be frightened of me physically. Now I tried to scare her emotionally by wearing my heart on my sleeve and she still didn't budge from her bravery.

She saw the torment plastered on my pasty white skin. "What's wrong?" she asked, raising one hand as if to touch me, than dropped it to her side. "This is wrong" I stated matter of factly, and it was because she was in even more danger now. Not only was she standing next to a vampire that thirsted for her blood, but she was now emotionally entwined with me.

Her face seemed hurt by what I had just said, but she must've known on some level that it was the truth because I could see it in her eyes. I wondered for a moment if she was thinking about the same things I often thought about in this tranquil place. She answered the questions that raced through my mind as last.

"I'm happy, is that wrong?" She was happy to be standing here with me, a monster. I wanted so badly to make her happy and it came so easy, aside from the sharp sting that was burning my throat. "Not right now" It wasn't wrong at the moment. I was making her happy even if it was only temporary. I lightened the mood by walking to the waters edge, splashing water in her direction, it worked and the rest of the day we didn't mention the troubled thoughts that coursed through my mind and most likely hers as well. We would enjoy the precious time we did have together, it seemed small to me as an immortal and even though she was human it probably seemed like every second flew by with me by her side.