A/N: Just a little oneshot because my mind is totally blocked for my other story Justify.
The rain poured down around me. The roar sounded in my ears as thunder boomed in the distance. My expensive suit was soaked through but I didn't care.
I just stood rooted to the spot, my mind completely blank, except for the same thought over and over...
How?
How could she leave me alone, in this world? I.. I can't survive without her... No one could take her place. I was alone now. I needed her back. It amazed me how quickly someone could be taken from you. How one bullet could end a life... A love.
My hands found their way to the Sig Saur and the badge at my waist. I don't deserve these. I couldn't save her. Who else will die because I wasn't able to help them?
I tore the leather and metal trophy of my depression from my belt and whipped it at the ground. My fingers traced around the butt of my weapon, disconnecting their intentions from my thoughts. Soon my hand wrapped around it and withdrew it from my holster.
I stared down the barrel, somehow pointed straight for my face. My index finger flicked the safety. How many lives have to be cut short.. because of me? I soon felt that the wet on my face was no longer the rain crashing down around me. The tears that I had held back for so long, came flooding from me, no stopping in sight. I couldn't take it anymore. If this was the way I could be with her..
The screeching of tires came from the road beside me. The slam of a car door and footsteps soon followed. Soon I felt one hand on my drenched shoulder, the other removing the gun from my hand. I then realized I was numb from the chill of the rain and emotion came flooding back to me. It felt like my legs had given out and I sank to my knees. The tears increased to a steady stream, then a river. A soft voice spoke to me, "It's not your fault.. Don't do this to yourself anymore."
"I loved her Gibbs..." I sobbed.
"I know." And the hand squeezed my shoulder and the footsteps retreated to the car once more.
I leaned forward, kissing the slab of granite in front of me. My hand ran across the letters engraved in the stone...
Catlin Todd, killed in the line of duty... Beloved friend and NCIS Agent.
I stood and made my way from the graveyard. Slowly the clouds moved away. Slowly my tears dissipated. And a voice soft and caring said, "I love you Tony."