Disclaimer: All I own is Susan (see the very end of the fic). I don't own Grey's Anatomy, Buena Vista, Touchstone, Amber Pacific or anything related to them.
Also, sorry about the story being uploaded, like, three times before now. It kept uploading with little boxes everywhere, don't ask why! But it's okay now (I hope)
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This is for the ones who believe their lives
won't change
They weren't the perfect couple. They argued about stupid things & ignored each other for days because neither liked admitting they were wrong. But still everyone was jealous of them, of how crazy they were about each other. After all, they were Addison & Derek.
Their marriage was strong, they balanced work & their home life well & never neglected a birthday or holiday. They had friends both inside & outside of the hospital, all of which they saw regularly. They took time off to spend together & took vacations at least twice a year. They were happy, & nothing was going to come between them.
Hoping that someday things will mend & be the same
They had been happily married for 10 years, but even the happiest of couples reach a bad patch at some point. Theirs came when Derek didn't leave the hospital for days at a time. At first it didn't seem unusual, it wasn't too often & he said he'd had surgeries. But soon it got more regular, he'd be at work for three days straight without sleeping so when he did finally come home all he'd want to do was sleep.
And this is for the ones who have lost it all and all that's left to gain
Addison didn't have the courage to talk to him about it, so she turned to their best friend Mark for comfort. He tried to persuade her to talk to Derek but she knew he'd deny anything strange was going on. So instead she kept quiet & let Derek work for as long as he wanted. They saw their friends less, forgot holidays & birthdays & never left the city. Addison felt abandoned, as if nobody cared about her or how she felt. And Derek didn't see her often enough to see how she was slowly breaking down.
Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away..
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
It was a cool Monday morning, nothing out of the ordinary. Addison woke up alone as usual. It had become such a habit that she never even checked to see if Derek was next to her any more. She wasn't supposed to be in work that day, not that she had anywhere else she could go. When she & Derek had stopped meeting their out-of-work friends, they had moved on. The only person left now was Mark.
After getting dressed into a pair of old jeans & a simple white shirt, Addison settled in front of the TV. She sighed as she flicked on to a show she used to watch in the mornings with Derek. She jumped as a knock came at the door. She stood up, switched off the TV & walked to the door. She saw the outline of a man standing outside & pushed the hope that it could be Derek to the back of her mind almost before it entered.
How can I say.. Say I'll be okay..
Opening the door she was greeted with a coffee & bagel held out by Mark. He smiled sympathetically at her messy hair & old clothes.
And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
"Morning Addie!" he chimed, pushing the breakfast forwards for her to take.
Addison smiled, "thanks, Mark," & took the coffee.
"And the bagel," Mark said encouragingly.
"Fine," she gave in & took it. "Come in," she opened the door inviting him in.
"I was going to anyway," he shrugged & walked past her, kissing her temple gently as he passed. "Guessing Derek's still at work?"
"Obviously," she sighed, closing the door & following him into the kitchen. He took a seat at the table, sipping his coffee while she set her breakfast down.
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
"You need to eat, Ads," Mark said.
Addison nodded unconvinced. "Yeah, I suppose," she sighed again & sat down on the chair beside him & grabbed the bagel. She stared at it for a moment before Mark took it, opened the packet & returned it back to her hands.
"You should really open it before you try to eat it. The plastic's not very nice," Mark smiled.
She laughed, "surprising." She said & took a bite even though she wanted nothing less than to eat. "Why is he doing this to me? What did I do?"
And if I fall through these nights I can't
seem to go on
"You didn't do a thing. It's not just you
he's pushing away, I haven't spoken to him properly in weeks.
It's like something in him just snapped," Mark put his coffee
down & reached over & squeezed her hand. "You need to tell
him how you feel, he'll listen to you. I've tried to tell him
how you're feeling but he won't accept it."
Addison shook her head. "I can't tell him. He'll say I'm overreacting. And I don't think I really want to know the reason he's acting this way."
Mark took a deep breath, he had to do something to find out what was making one of his best friends so upset & the other so distant.
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on
"Call him," he said finally.
"What?"
"Call him. Now. Tell him it's important & he needed to come home. Then tell him how you feel," Mark watched her face drop.
"Mark, I cant, I-" she began.
"You can, Addie, you have to," he encouraged, standing up & getting the phone. He passed it to her & she took it cautiously, shaking her head.
Before she knew what she was doing, she keyed Derek's cell number into the phone & put it to her ear, watching Mark as he looked on hopefully.
Now that the lines been broken
The dull ringing started & Addison's breath quickened. She still didn't know what she was doing.
I'm too afraid to just took back
"Hello?" the voice on the other end startled her & she looked to Mark for help. He nodded encouraging her to speak to her husband.
"Derek, it's me," she said finally.
She heard Derek sigh. "What's wrong, Addison?" he asked, & she was sure his voice was flatter now that when he didn't know who was calling.
"Could you come home please, I-" she hesitated. "I need to talk to you."
"Did something happen?" he said, still not sounding as though he cared one bit.
"I just need you, Derek," she replied, as tear slowly sliding down her cheek.
The pages have left an empty space
"Fine, I'm coming," he gave in, but she knew by the tone of his voice he didn't want to.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Derek didn't reply & just hung up. She sat for a moment before taking the phone from her ear & laying it down on the table. Instinctively, Mark moved around next to her, wrapping his arms around her.
You were all I had
Mark nodded. "Everything's going to be fine, I promise you," he soothed.
They sat waiting for Derek, Mark holding Addison protectively, for about 15 minutes. When they finally heard a key in the door they moved apart & Mark moved away leaning against the wall. Addison watched the doorway for Derek & when he came into view she stood up. Part of her wanted to go over & hug him but he looked angry & she didn't know how he'd react.
Why does it have to be this way
"What do you want Addison? Why did you call me home?" he asked impatiently.
"Derek I haven't seen you in so long," she said calmly. "I miss you & we need to talk."
He watched her closely as she nervously chewed her lip. "Why's he here?" he asked, pointing to Mark.
"He was being a friend to me," Addison replied sadly. "If you'd been around more you'd have noticed he's the only friend we have left."
"Is that some kind of dig at me?" Derek asked, turning back to her.
"What? Derek you don't get it, do you? You're the one who hasn't been around. You're the one who caused all out friends to give up asking when we're both free to go out. You're the one who forgot both mine & Mark's last birthdays 'cause you were working. You're the one who neglected to notice how lonely I've been lately because I never see you," Addison was beginning to get upset again but she refused to break down in front of him.
These things they'll never change
"Oh get a grip Addison. You know it's been busy at work," Derek said, raising his voice slightly.
"Too busy to even call every once in a while? Too busy to come home a couple of days a week?" Addison bit her lip in an attempt to stop the tears falling.
"You're overreacting!" Derek said, his voice louder now & Mark stood up straighter.
"Don't shout at her," Mark warned.
"Shut up Mark," Derek snapped.
"What the hell did I do?" Mark stepped forwards so he could see Derek properly.
"This is between Addison & myself, could you please just leave it?"
"No. Not when I know what you've put her through the last few months," Mark said defensively.
"So are you taking my place now? Playing husband to my wife?"
"Well if you're not there to do it," Mark shot back, moving sideways to put his arm around Addison.
Derek glared at him. "What is that supposed to mean?" he snarled.
"You can't see how you're acting, can you? You can't see how much you're hurting you're wife," Mark said calmly, refusing to let Derek get away lightly.
"I'm not hurting her," Derek yelled suddenly, shocking both Mark & Addison. "Addison, tell him, you're fine. We are fine."
She hesitated before shaking her head cautiously. "No, Derek, I'm not fine, we're not-"
"Shut up! Just stop saying that. You're fine. We're fine. Just get over it, Addison, making everything seem like my fault," he shouted at her.
Addison stared at him in disbelief. What had turned him suddenly from the calm man she had fallen in love with to this? She shut her eyes tightly as tears began to trickle out of her eyes. Mark stood by her side defensively & pulled her in closer as he felt her body shudder as her sobs came out heavily.
Still I'm left with knowing, content & happy, this is all I need..
"Derek I think you need to leave now," Mark said without making eye contact with him.
"You may think just because you're playing me in this house right now that you have the right to tell me what to do, but you're wrong," Derek hissed. "This is my house, you don't get to tell me to leave."
"Derek just listen to him," Addison said, wiping her face to get rid of some of the tears.
Derek shook his head, "fine," he grunted & walked back out of the kitchen & out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him.
And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Mark & Addison stood in silence watching where Derek had just walked. Mark's arm stayed around her to support her. She turned carefully to face him but he still didn't move his arm.
"Mark, I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Why are you sorry?"
"For making Derek hate you," she looked at the floor refusing to make eye contact with him.
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
"Hey," Mark moved her chin up with his finger & made her look at him. "Derek may hate me, but as long as I have you it's okay. You didn't cause any of this & don't even think I blame you because I don't."
Addison attempted a smile. "I just hope her gets back to how he used to be."
"Me too," Mark said & leaned forward kissing her forehead lightly.
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
"Would you stay with me for a bit?" Addison asked hopefully, not wanting to be alone.
"Of course I will."
"Thank you."
Addison stepped away & made her way to the couch. She sat down, leaning backwards & taking a deep breath. Mark stood in the doorway watching her, thinking of how lost she looked. He hated seeing her like this & knowing he couldn't help her any more than he'd already tried to. He could try & speak to Derek but the chances of him getting anywhere were slim. He could be there for Addison, be her shoulder to cry or & her support when she needed it, but he couldn't help but think he should try to do more. All he knew was she was slowly losing hope, & truthfully so was he.
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to go on
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
Derek never drove fast, it was a rule he'd set for himself the moment he started learning to drive. When he was young he was teased for it, for not living life more dangerously, but when all his 'friends' were charged for speeding he was the one teasing. He didn't do it to be a 'good boy', he just did it to be safe.
But now was different. His rules flew out the window as he sped towards, well, anywhere. Truth was he didn't know where he was going, just somewhere away from the life he'd messed up. It hurt him to see how much he'd hurt Addison & how he was slowly losing everyone around him.
Winding down the window, Derek breathed in the air which blew his hair in all directions. He finally saw what the attraction of speed was & he pushed the car forwards just a little bit faster. He felt free, like he could do anything & go anywhere. He felt finally in control of his life & nothing was going to stop him now.
As he turned the corner he saw a large bus moving slowly ahead of him. Sighing, he pulled around it, not wanting to lose his speed.
And then it happened..
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Mark sat next to Addison in silence watching her. Neither could think of anything to say, so they just sat.
Finally, Addison turned to him. "Do you want anything? A drink, some food?"
Mark looked at her & nodded, following her into the kitchen. This was what she did when she was sad, ignored the pain. The best thing for him to do was let her deal with it her own way.
"You're gonna be fine, Addie," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"With Derek, you're gonna make it through, you two are strong," he explained.
"Yeah, I hope so."
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
Mark was about to reply when the phone rang. She moved over to answer it.
"Hello?" she waited. "Oh, hey Susan, you okay?" she waited again. Susan was a friend of her's, Mark's & Derek's from the hospital.
"Addison, there's been a car crash," Susan told her, avoiding the direct point.
"Okay, well do you need my help? Or Mark's, he's here too. Derek's not though, I'm afraid, if you need him," Addison said.
"I know he's not there," Susan replied.
"Oh, is he there? If he is could you tell him to come home please?" Addison sighed.
"Addison, listen.." Susan drifted off.
"What is it?" Addison asked.
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Mark watched as Addison's face turned to shock & sadness & the phone fell to the floor.
"What's wrong, Addie?" he asked, concerned.
She looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears which were beginning to fall freely down her face. "It's Derek. He's," she swallowed hard. "He's dead."
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to go on
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A/N: Ahh I killed Derek!!! What was I thinking?? Please review I'd love to know what you thought of it!! And please read my other stories! THANK YOU!!
Beth x