Catch me as I fall
Say you're hear and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere,
No one's here and I fall into myself
Harry James Potter had been sitting on a cold brick wall for the better part of his Saturday afternoon. His back was suffering from the ache of being pressed firmly against the rough pattern of cement and mortar and his legs felt weak and possibly non-existent. The Astronomy Tower lent him the escape. It was from here that he had watched the stragglers of Summer Vacation slowly wane and wax in the approaching summer weather like beach waves. He saw people, chatting, hallucinating, fixed upon their own little world.
How could they all be so happy when he was so miserable?
The shimmer of a setting sun broke illusion over the Quidditch Pitch. Slowly, shadows cast themselves into long threads of black against gold, before they would end their life and disappear into darkness. Harry sighed. Reveled. Relaxed. Wept.
The paths of his cheeks were numb from the consistency of crying. He couldn't feel the drops until they hit his arms. He couldn't feel anything. He was slowly growing colder, as the sun was sinking deeper.
The pit in his heart was growing wildly.
And the Illusion charm was wearing off.
Harry stared at his arm, where the tear drops seemed to be melding into a different skin. His breath caught suddenly, stilled by the horror and wonder of his deeds. Across the skin basing at his wrists and ending near the crook of his inner elbow joint were scars. Some were fresh, some were dark, and some were peeled open from repeated slices in the same area. Most were thick, raised ropes of skin, coiled and angry from being ripped apart, and left unable to heal when the blade had sliced them hourly.
Harry sighed, and pulled out the knife Sirius had given him. Cold tears flowed freely again.
He missed his godfather.
This truth
Drives me
Into
Madness
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away…
If I will it all away…
Draco Malfoy had been climbing the stairs of every tower in the castle since seven that evening, trying to find the exact one he was looking for. A note, pressed against his pillow that morning had eluded to some sort of meeting, simply stating that he should be in the tower (and failing to mention which one) by eight-thirty. It was nearing nine o'clock at that moment and Draco felt the pressing need to reach his destination sooner rather than later.
Given that the note had ended with "Don't be late" and signed "Harry Potter," hadn't done much to still his desire to reach the tower quickly.
He would not have his summer tormented with wondering fancies of what Potter had wanted to meet him for.
That much was certain.
Slightly ruffled from his long trek up the Astronomy tower, Draco stopped to catch his breath and survey the area. His eyes caught on Harry's still form, and instinctively watching, Draco hid amongst the slight shadows in the distance. Harry was sitting in the window sill, staring bleakly at his left arm. Draco followed the gaze and shuddered at the scars hidden there, and the blade in his hands and he reopened old wounds and created a few new ones.
The slicing didn't stop for almost a full two minutes, and Harry never winced, or blinked. He seemed impervious to pain. Draco stood immobilized, unable to bring himself to stop the deed, yet sickened at how hurt… how pained the boy had become.
His new lover… was potentially suicidal.
Draco's body threatened to black out. But, his eyes only watered and he simply stood still, watching the horror unfold before him.
Don't turn away
Don't give into the pain
Don't try to hide
Though their screaming your name
Don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
Don't turn out the light
Never sleep never die
Harry sighed.
Draco was late.
He put the knife away, tucking it safely into the pocket of his trouser jeans and continued staring at the dying sunset. Shy stars were beginning to peek from behind a curtain of purple and dusky pink. The last rays of light faded.
Draco felt himself growing into the wall, now completely immersed in shadow as the sun faded from existence. His mind raced wildly with thoughts and exclamations. What should he do? Should he talk to him, reason with him; share in his grief and pain? What was ailing the Gryffindor Hero? What was causing this act of… of dismay and revulsion?
Draco slipped down onto the stairs beneath him, finding that he was unable to support his own weight.
I'm frightened
By what I see, but somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized, by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
"I can stop the pain, if I will it all away." Harry whispered to himself, finding no solace in his head, only in his words.
Draco wasn't coming, the damned snake didn't really care.
And last night when Malfoy had said "I love you" for the first time as he fell asleep? Just a way to torment me further… Harry thought bitterly.
He'd left him a note, and the punctual Slytherin was late. Harry gripped himself in a hug, shuddering against the depression, and falling into the cold. He felt his numb legs move, saw his vision blur with dizziness and confined tears, and then he was standing, facing the window-sill.
Moonlight struck against his glasses.
Draco's lips parted, his legs shakily continuing their assent into the tower.
"Har—" he started to say, but cut himself off again, as he watched one of his lovers sneaker clad feet reach up to stand on the ledge of the tower walls. Draco's eyes widened in horror. No…
Don't turn away
Don't give into the pain
Don't try to hide
Though their screaming your name
Don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
Don't turn out the light
Never sleep never die
Harry stood, both feet planted across the ledge. He was prepared to fall forever, eternity would not scare him. Sirius was gone; his friends had deserted him, and even teachers and role models seemed withdrawn from him. There was nothing left to live for.
Let the Wizarding World weep, they would have no savoir. They would have no Harry Potter to rise to their rescue.
One foot reached out into cold air, he felt his heart beat accelerate.
One hand slipped away from its grasp on the brick, he was hanging by one hand and one leg, prepared to end it all.
A final plunge… just one small step…
"HARRY NO!!!"
Draco's breath caught as he saw Harry's body turn to face him, his eyes widening in astonishment, then his footing slipped… and the face was disappearing over the ledge…
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes,
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in?
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet…
The End