Percy Jackson: Merc With a Mouth, Champion of Madness
-Instead of Red Hood, Percy is Deadpool (I found one similar fanfiction like this but it wasn't completed.)
-Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, and Scott are also in the team.
-Backstory is different, I guess
Deadpool POV
It's an early Christmas time today, and I'm after a naughty kid that's number 1 on my personal naughty list. Okay, he's an adult, but you get the damn point! His face painted goons were aiming their fizzy guns at my position. Oh well. It's time to count some bullet time!
Hi! I'm Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth, destroyer of destroyers, and chimichanga fan! Deep down, I am Perseus Jackson, and if you're wondering why I'm not with my "family", let's just say that "Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind or forgotten.", NOT!
Why not try and say that to the little cowards who threw me out like Blackjack's piss and poop combined?! "And what's their excuse for throwing you out?", someone may ask me, simple: INSANITY AND JEALOUSY!
First of all, I'm not jealous of anyone! I didn't give a damn whether someone was better than me or not!
And the insanity part, they claimed its something from Tartarus, but the real reason why I lost my damn mind was because of THEM!
What happened next? Banished from Olympus, and then...it happened.
My mother and Paul died. Only my baby half-sister, Alexandria, was spared.
I walked down the streets of New York to see my mortal family (and my baby sister, Alexandria). I hope they understand why I'm visiting them.
You see, my dad had a son before the pact, so he was placed in the Lotus Casino. His name was Theseus Burns, and the instant he entered camp, I thought this was great because I've always wanted a half brother besides Tyson, who's in Atlantis.
And like my typical luck it ended horribly.
When he introduced himself, it was like my existence faded away, so I spent most of my time training with Thalia, Jason, Piper, and Clarisse, who are one of the very few who hate his cocky and arrogant attitude.
One day, still training, he challenged me to a duel, and I beat him easily. Suddenly, I was flashed to Olympus, where Poseidon yelled at me, claiming that I was not his son anymore for hurting his "favorite son". Did he not notice that it was just a duel?! I began to lose my sanity when Zeus voted for my banishment. Only Hestia, Hades, Hera, Apollo, Artemis, and Hephaestus voted against it. At least I kept Riptide, because I warned them that I'll lose my mind if it was taken from me, especially since Zoe entrusted it to me.
Thankfully, they gave me some time to say goodbye to my remaining few friends, then that's when Annabeth showed up and called me a jealous idiot who should rot in hell. Thalia and Jason couldn't bring themselves to hurl lightning bolts at her because it won't change a thing.
I entered the building and knocked on the door.
No answer.
"Mom? Paul?" I asked as I knocked again.
No answer again.
I opened the door slowly, and what I saw shocked me for the rest of my life.
My mom and Paul were on the floor with bullet holes, bloody bullet holes, on their chests. My mouth hung agape at the sight as I walked over to their dead bodies.
"No...no...no." I muttered as tears went down my eyes.
I heard crying in the closet. Alexandria...she's alive...
I ran to the closet and opened the door.
That's when I saw my baby sister in a bundle in the closet.
I picked her up and cradled her.
Cemetery...
At least Mom and Paul got a proper funeral. An old high school friend of my mom's: a son of Hephaestus named Jack Hammer, also known as Weasel, agreed to shelter Alexandria. No one else bothered to show up, other than me, Uncle Jack, Aunt Hestia, and some other high school friends of theirs.
I stayed, even if the funeral was over, even if it was raining.
At this point, Artemis showed up. She looked at the graves as well.
"Your mother was a good woman, Perseus." she said.
"I know. But...what if I am getting insane?" I asked her.
"Don't say that. You're the only male my hunters and I can tolerate. Where will you go from here on out?"
"I will find their killers, and I will kill them."
And with that, I ran towards Blackjack before Artemis could protest, and he flew me out of her sight. A while later, I felt something hit my back, and I blacked out.
When I woke up, I was in some strange warehouse. I wanted to get out, but I couldn't, since I was bound to a chair.
"Hi!" a cheery female voice rang throughout the warehouse.
I saw someone walked up to me.
It was a pale woman with brown hair with streaks of red. She wore a complete black leather outfit, and she also had this smile which I can find from one of those overly positive speakers.
"Excuse me but, who are you?" I asked.
"Name's Mania! Goddess of insanity and madness, at your service!" she replied with so much positivity and did a salute like she was my lieutenant in the army.
"If you're at my service, then why am I bound?" I asked.
"Oh, sorry!" she apologized as she got the ropes off of me. I got up and brushed my shoulders, but Mania was still acting giddy because...she's Mania.
"Okay, where's Blackjack? And, can I help you?"
"Of course. I have a teeny tiny favor I need you for." she replied.
"And what's that supposed to be?"
"First of all, he's fine. And for the second question, as you know, most of the Olympians claim you're completely insane following the events from Tartarus, then, when the girl you loved who I won't be naming because she cheated on you, well, cheated on you in favor of your new half brother from the Lotus Casino, then accused of jealousy, then disownment, banishment, yada yada yada, whatever. Perseus Jackson, will you become my champion?"
I was confused like hell. She was talking so fast I lost track.
"Can you...shorten that?" I asked. "You talked so fast it's like those irritating commercials on TV."
"Be my champion, and I'll make you stronger than a regular demigod." she said.
I just nodded and gave her an approving look. Mania's smile got really big and she began to hop around like a cheerleader with too much caffeine in her system.
"Okay then, I, Mania, Goddess of Insanity and Madness, hereby declare Perseus Jackson, my champion!"
I was glowing a little shade of red and black, and the next thing I knew, I felt so strong I could go toe-to-toe with an army of monsters and emerge unscathed.
"Now, Percy." Mania started. "Your whole physical condition has been improved: strength, speed, agility, endurance, reaction time, etc. I also gave you an accelerated healing factor, because why not? I even gave you knowledge on parkour and advanced fighting skills that can make Ares an untrained thug by comparison."
"Thanks but, can you drop me off at my Uncle Jack's house?" I asked.
She didn't even reply. She just flashed us off to his house, where he was sleeping on the dinner table. He looked at Mania then screamed.
"Percy, who's this woman?!" he squeaked like a little girl.
"Calm down, Uncle Jack. This is my new patron, Mania, goddess of insanity and madness." I explained.
"Oh. Hi there. What took you so long?"
Mania and I sat around the table.
A few minutes later...
"You want to hunt down and kill whoever killed Sally?" he asked.
I just nodded. Mania looked at me with approval.
"First of all, you're only twenty. And if I were you, I'd think of a nickname first."
"Like what?"
"How about 'The Vindicator'?" Mania suggested.
"Something that means I, to an extent, hate the sea."
"Anti-Ocean?" Uncle Jack suggested.
"Dead-River?" Mania piped up.
"That sounds stupid, Lady Mania."
"Shut up, forge boy! I should make you bathe in a pool of your own blood, literally!"
That's when it hit me. Mania and Uncle Jack saw this and they knew.
We all screamed at the same time:
"DEADPOOL!"
Well, except for Uncle Jack. His suggestion was "Mr. Deadpool.". We looked at him weirdly.
"What?" he asked us.
"No, just Deadpool." Mania casually said.
"Okay then." I declared. "I will take to the streets as Deadpool! I don't have any other weapons, though."
"You know what." Uncle Jack said. "I have the perfect things for you."
Mania and I watched him stand up and go to an oven. He flipped its dial open, revealing a keypad. To my confusion, all he did was type "0690" on the keypad, and the wall opened up.
Inside was a pair of katanas, dual pistols, and a strange suit.
The mask was white with a black spot around each eye. The rest of the suit was the same: white and black with some armor. The belt was brown with a bunch of satchels, there were holsters on the suit's thighs, and knives on the boots.
"The katanas are made of Adamantine." he explained.
"Adamantine? Like the same material the original Perseus's sword was made of when he killed Medusa?" Mania confirmed.
"That's right, Lady Mania. They're ridiculously strong, yet ridiculously light. Next, the satchels can give you ammo and explosives, and they'll never run out." Uncle Jack said again.
"Cool." I spoke.
"And your bullets are a mix of regular lead and Celestial Bronze, so if you ever encounter a monster in your crusade, you don't have to switch to your swords straight away."
I grinned. This marked the disappearance of Perseus Jackson, and the entrance of Deadpool!
"Thanks! But, can I switch up one thing about the suit?" I asked.
"Sure. What would that be?" Uncle Jack asked.
"I'd recolor the white, except the eyes, to red. I don't want to see my blood when I bleed, and I'll joke about it."
Okay, you get the point, right? After many raids on criminal strongholds and hunts for crappy pants assholes, I found the right hand man of the guy who killed Mom and Paul. He is so dead.
"Ready to play a game of 'count the bodies'?!" I shouted at them.
They just fired their guns. Bullets flew and hit places that weren't even close to me.
"I'll be the one to count then!" I shouted again as I moved away from cover, and shot them in their pretty little heads, blood and screams galore!
"BANG! BANG! BANG!" I screamed and laughed.
"You're dead, freak!" my latest target yelled as he charged at me, fists raised.
I could shoot him in the face, but where's the fun in that? I put away my guns and stabbed him in the gut with my Adamantine katanas kebab style as I lifted him up.
"Happy Christmas, asshole. Now, your cliche bad guy acts left a little girl the burden of not having parents!"
"How did you know? Who are you?" he squeaked, coughing blood on my swords.
"I'm Deadpool, douche-picable douche pickle."
I dropped him on the floor as the life left his eyes.
"Alrighty then. Let's go." I spoke to myself.
My phone rang. Mania was calling, so I answered.
"Lady Mania, what's up?" I asked.
"Is it done? Are your parents finally avenged?"
"Aye. The deed is done. What's in the kitchen?"
"Big Belly Burger meals."
"Alright!"
Third Person POV, Avengers Tower...
"Guys, we have a problem." Steve told the rest of the Avengers, now including Winter Soldier, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Falcon, War Machine, and Ant-Man, who were like an extra team.
"What's wrong, Steve?" Bucky asked his best friend.
"There's been another Deadpool massacre."
"Not this again." Tony groaned. "This...mercenary assassin has been killing criminals in the craziest ways possible. One of those ways was with a Zamboni."
"Cap, how did you know that this was done by him?" Scott asked.
"He signed his name on the wall with a red marker. Anyway, Agent Hill told me that Fury wants us to deal with him. Who wants first try?" Captain America asked again.
"B-Team and I will go." the Winter Soldier said, raising his robot hand up. "Let's roll out."